Disclaimer: They aren't mine, of course, but this one could have actually happened.
I didn't want to bother my poor betas, so typos or continuity errors are mine and mine alone.
This is dedicated to Celia, who sent me so many wonderful reviews during a very, very bad week, and all the lovely people who take time to write me notes. Reviews always make me smile.
Beast
"How's it going?"
Sam Carter spun from the control panel in front of her to face her CO, her hands held up in a vague gesture at the equipment all around her. She looked truly boggled, and that wasn't an emotion Jack associated with her. At all. "I could spend years here, sir," she told him.
"Can we not?" he asked. "The food sucks."
That earned a laugh before she said, "I don't get the feeling they eat for pleasure."
"I don't get the feeling they do much for pleasure," he answered, and his expression said clearly how he felt about that. "The nerds don't, anyway."
She offered him a shrug and a shake of her head. "It's hard for me to judge them, sir. The Seladians want progress, and they're getting it. A hundred years ago, Earth was in the middle of our Second Industrial Revolution. The first mass production of steel, electricity and the light bulb, the automobile. This planet was still twenty years away from any of that, and now they're decades ahead. They're churning out advancements half again as fast as we are. Tell me that's not incredible."
"Is this your argument for more PBS funding?" he asked wryly. He got a second chuckle out of that and mentally patted himself on the back, pleased. He tried his damnedest to keep her from becoming an automaton like some of the people he'd seen there that week.
"You're not wrong, sir. The government has allocated billions of dollars to this: astrophysics, genetics, chemistry. But I suppose I'm not really in a position to complain. I'm better funded than most scientists on Earth, I think."
"Is that why you stick around, Carter? Diamonds are a girl's best friend?"
She cringed. "And you let me shoot things?"
"There's that," he admitted. "How long, you think?"
"Um…." Her eyes darted across the monitors, lips pursing.
"You spent the first two days with the chemistry guys," he prompted. "Then physics, now medical…."
"Yeah." Obviously not keen on the idea of a deadline, she asked, "How's Daniel coming along?"
"He says two more days. So, three. But only because Teal'c's pushing him along."
She considered that with a hum. "Labs Four is all biomedical, and Caten's already given me four memory chips to dig through. I could probably gather up the highlights in two days, though Janet might want more later. And another day to look over the geology and atmospheric conditions, and-"
"So, three."
"If I had to." It was weak.
"Carter, I need cake."
She sucked in a breath for patience and said, "Yes, sir."
Her eyes shifted to the doorway behind him and went cool, and he knew who'd walked in even before the smooth female voice said, "Colonel O'Neill. Major Carter."
"Doctor Tyre."
The facility director didn't bother to look at the other woman; her brown eyes focused intently on Jack as he greeted, "Rina."
"Ambassador Ferin tells me you didn't care for lunch," she said, a small smile on her face. "Again. I've had some things brought in that I thought you might like to try. Dessert."
He waggled his eyebrows at Carter and said, "Cake."
"Yes, sir."
The answer was flat, and it wasn't because of the subject matter. Carter had been carefully pleasant and professional with Rina, but her dislike was totally transparent to the other members of SG-1. And Jack couldn't blame her – there was something off about the woman. She was always too composed, always with a pleasant smile. It was the expression of someone pretending to be your ally right before they shoved a knife in your gut, so though she'd been flirting with Jack for four days already, he wasn't about to bite. He was pretty sure that hook would be painful to yank out.
But she was damned attractive, a perfect hourglass with high cheekbones and a penchant for stilettos and short skirts. So it hadn't been easy.
"And if not food, I'm sure we can find something that piques your interest, Colonel."
Boy, she wasn't even trying to hide it anymore. Jack wondered if Rina heard the huff as Carter turned back to her work. "You gotten a chance to look at their weapons yet?" he asked his teammate.
She didn't look over. "No, sir."
"That would pique my interest."
The brown eyes went almost imperceptibly cool. "Of course. Lab Nine contains several prototypes, and I'm sure our engineers would be happy to speak with you." She turned on one high heel and clicked out into the corridor, clearly expecting him to follow.
He turned to Carter, instead. "You good?"
Whatever she muttered sounded like, "Better than she is."
"What?"
"Fine, sir. Try not to shoot anyone."
He wondered if she had a particular target in mind. "See ya later."
~/~
"Anything particular you're looking for, Major?"
Sam shot Doctor Caten a smile as he stepped up beside her. "Nothing I can think of yet. It's all fascinating. You've cured a few diseases that we've been researching for years. We can manage they symptoms, but not actually solve the problem. I wish…. I wish we had more to give you in exchange."
That earned a chuckle. "Major Carter, you've explored the universe. Your Gate telemetry and the cultural information you've provided us is more than enough. I've always wondered what happened on the other side of that wormhole, but our first few expeditions didn't go well, and the government decided it wasn't worth the risk."
"There's risk, for sure," she said. "But also opportunity. Incredible opportunity. Like this."
He offered a smile. "I'm glad you think so. You're putting us years ahead in exploration."
"And us in genetics. Our Chief Medical Officer will be thrilled."
"Then I made the right call." Digging in his chest pocket, he pulled out a tiny chip and handed it to her. "When you're finished with what I brought you this morning, there's more here."
There always seemed to be more. A stunning amount, and she smiled in gratitude. "Thank you."
"Well. There are some ongoing projects in Lab Five that I need to look in on, but if you decide you need additional information, just have me paged. I'll access the relevant files for you." With a nod, he left her to her work.
~/~
"We have multiple non-lethal options, too," an engineer told Jack, pulling a new drawer out of the wall to display the weapons inside.
"Less than lethal," his lab mate corrected.
"There have been a few unfortunate incidents," the first guy – Raley? Rauley? - conceded. "But they're meant to be non-lethal. This one is basically our version of a Goa'uld zat'ni… zat… uh…."
"Zat," Jack offered.
"Right. It disrupts the body's electrical field, causing temporary paralysis and usually unconsciousness. It's a personal favorite with the staff around here."
"Well, non-lethal is good."
Raley grinned at him. "No. Because none of them have very good aim."
Jack chuckled.
"And since most of our other weaponry is laser-based, it's a very narrow beam spread. Skill counts for a lot."
"I'll bet. What else you got?"
"Colonel." That was Rina, who he'd ignored for a solid half hour. And she wasn't happy about it.
"Yeah?" he asked innocently.
"You seem to be getting on quite well here." The words didn't come out quite as civil as she'd probably planned. "If you don't mind, I have other things to attend to."
One hand raised in a flippant wave. "See ya."
The perfectly mannered expression faltered for just half a second before she turned and clicked away.