I Like You, Ok?
"Has anyone heard from Rachel?" Santana asked while the group sat around the table at Breadsitcks.
"Rachel e-mailed and said she wasn't sure what she was doing this year." Quinn told her.
What Quinn didn't know, was that Rachel was in Lima, only minutes away from where she currently sat.
Rachel had decided at the last minute on Wednesday to come home for Thanksgiving. She missed her dads and with her current mood, decided that she wanted to be with them instead of staying in New York.
Unfortunately, she arrived home to no one. She called her dad, who in reply, told her they went on a cruise and wouldn't be able to come home.
Rachel spent nearly 2 days alone in what used to feel so much like home to her, before giving up and deciding that she was going back.
On Friday, Quinn had decided she'd had enough of Lima and her mother. She had made up her mind. She was finally going to go visit Rachel in New York. It wasn't the same, being home without the bubbly girl there as well. She needed to see her. She missed the girl, and felt bad that they hadn't seen each other since they parted ways in the fall.
At the train station, Quinn glanced over as she was waiting for her ticket to print, and swore she saw Rachel a few windows over. The girl was a small brunette, hair draped over her face with shoulders slumped. "There's no way. You're just seeing things, Quinn," she told herself. She took her ticket and made her way to the train. She had lost sight of the girl, and vowed to try and find her on the train.
Unfortunately for Quinn, the girl obviously did not want to be seen because she was no where to be found.
Sighing, Quinn gave up and dropped into a seat for the long ride.
Hours later, Quinn finally made it to New York. Hailing a cab, she rattled off Rachel's address. From memory. Hell, she had it memorized since the day Rachel e-mailed her about her new place with Kurt.
"You can do this. It's not a big deal. You're just visiting a friend. Well, a friend that you're in love with and have been for years. Pull yourself together. She just broke up with Finn. Even if she hadn't, she's straight. It will not happen. She's just a friend."
When the cab pulled up, she took another shuddering breath, trying to calm her erratically beating heart.
The elevator seemed like it took an eternity, yet still was too fast for her liking. "You can do this. This is not a big deal."
When she walked off, she noticed a girl going into a door down the hallway. She was sure it was the same girl from the train station with the long brown hair with the exact clothes. Quinn shook her head. "You're just imagining things. Stop it."
Approaching the door which held Rachel's apartment number, she realized it was the same door that the girl had just walk in to. "Maybe Rachel has a friend over? A friend that looks similar to her. Yep, that's it."
Taking a final deep breath, Quinn knocked on the door, hearing it echo through the hallway.
It took a minute for the door to slide open to reveal Rachel standing on the other side.
"Quinn? What are you doing here?"
Quinn glanced over Rachel. "It was you. You were the girl from the train station. You were in Lima!"
"Yes, I was. Listen, why don't you come in."
"Thanks."
Inside, Quinn took in her surroundings. Their place was decorated fairly nicely. She couldn't help but take a second glance at the "walls" separating what looked to be two bedrooms.
Quinn followed Rachel and sat on the couch with the smaller girl. "Rachel, why didn't you tell me you were coming to Lima?"
"Because I didn't want anyone to know. Not after what happened with Finn. I just wanted to be alone with my dads. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you still be in Lima? Or even New Haven?"
"I was. I just, I wanted to see you so I left and came here. You're never going to believe that I saw you at the train station."
"Yes I will. I saw you as well. Probably before you noticed me."
"Why didn't you say something? We could have rode here together."
"I didn't want you to see me. Besides, you haven't visited me yet, so what were the chances of you coming here anyway."
"Hey, you haven't came to see me either," Quinn tried to make a joke about it, but her smile faltered when Rachel looked down and sniffled. "Hey, what's wrong?" Quinn shuffled closer.
"Nothing."
"If it was nothing you wouldn't be crying. Talk to me, sweetie."
"I'm sorry I never came to see you. I just got so caught up on things here and there was the whole Finn fiasco and I just feel like crap. Since you never came, I figured that you just didn't want to see me. That's why I didn't tell you I was in Lima. I didn't want the rejection."
"I would have never rejected you."
"Why not? Everyone else seems to; Finn, Brody, my dads."
"Your dads?"
"They weren't even home when I was there. They had decided to go on some cruise so when I got home the house was dark and empty. I spent the entire time alone in my old room."
"Rach, they didn't know you were coming."
"I know. It just still hurts even though it wasn't intentional. I know I have Kurt and all, but he's going through his own thing with Blaine and doesn't need me and my issues on top of it. I just wanted to spend some time with my dads so I would feel better. Instead, I just feel worse now."
Rachel was full on crying by this point. Quinn finally relented and pulled the smaller girl into her body.
"I've got you, Rach. I'm here now. I'm so sorry I wasn't here earlier. I wish I would have known how bad you felt. I would have gladly spent the time with you instead. You don't deserve to feel this way."
"Why do you care so much when no one else does?"
"Because I like you," Quinn mumbled under her breath.
"What?"
"Nothing. I just care about you. You cared about me throughout high school and you were always trying to be there. I can at least try to do the same and maybe make up for treating you like crap for so long."
"I already forgave you for all of that, Quinn."
"I know, but it still doesn't make what I did right. Let me be here for you now."
"Thank you." Rachel sniffled and crawled into Quinn's lap, pressing her face into the girl's neck and sobbing. She gave in and let go, trusting Quinn to be there and hold her as she cried.
Quinn was shocked by Rachel's reaction. She didn't expect to be hold a sobbing Rachel in her arms. So, she did the only thing she could think of; rubbing Rachel's back as she hummed gently.
It took nearly a half hour for Rachel to calm down. The sobs turning into sniffles and deep breaths, before finally changing to silence and even breathing. She had cried herself to sleep.
Quinn sighed when she felt Rachel finally relax against her as the tension drained from her body. She reached her hand up to wipe away the few tears that had slipped out of her own eyes. Her chest hurt and her heart felt broken from witnessing the girl's break down. However, she couldn't help but notice how right it felt to have Rachel in her arms. The small girl fit perfectly in her lap. How she wished this feeling would go away because it hurt, but at the same time wishing it was mutual and would stay forever.
They stayed in the same position for nearly another hour as Rachel slept and Quinn thought before Rachel began to whimper and stir.
"I'm sorry, Quinn," Rachel mumbled, her face still in Quinn's neck.
"What are you sorry for?"
"For breaking down on you. And, you know, for getting bodily fluids on you."
"Don't worry about it, it's not like I haven't had worse things on me. And never apologize for crying. Crying is a good thing. You feel better, don't you?"
"Yes. Much better actually."
"Than it was worth it. It's getting late, do you just want to go to bed? I can leave if you want me to, though."
"You're not going anywhere. Lets go to bed." Rachel made no effort to move from her spot on Quinn's lap.
"We have to get up if we want to go to bed."
"I know. I'm just comfy."
"Come on, Rach." Quinn used the strength she still had to stand up, taking Rachel up with her in her arms."
"Quinn! Put me down! You could hurt yourself!"
"Oh please, you weigh next to nothing. I think I can make the few steps to your room. Oh look, we're already there." Quinn stood over the bed and let Rachel fall onto it with a giggle. "Oops."
"Very funny, Quinn," Rachel rolled her eyes but smiled.
After they did a half decent version of their nightly routines, the girls flopped into Rachel's bed and stared at the ceiling.
"Hey Quinn?"
"Yea, Rach?"
"What did you mumble earlier that you wouldn't tell me."
"Oh, nothing. Lets just go to sleep."
"Quinn..."
Quinn could here the pout in Rachel's voice and knew if she looked, Rachel would have her signature pout on. Throwing her hands over her face, Quinn mumbles "that I like you," into her hands.
Rachel groaned and pulled Quinn's hands away. "Again, I can't hear you when you talk like that."
"I said I like you, ok?"
Quinn was met by silence and she shut her eyes. "I shouldn't have said that. I think I'm just going to go." Quinn moved to get up from the bed when she felt Rachel pull her back down.
"You like me?"
"Yes."
"As in, like me, like me."
"Yes."
"For how long?"
"Since high school. The first time I saw you."
"So that's why you-"
"Basically tortured you? Yes. I was stupid and scared and I thought maybe it would make the feelings go away but it never did. It just made me feel like crap every time I hurt you."
"I like you too Quinn. Yes, in that way. Honestly, I think I may be a little bit in love with you."
"What about Finn?"
"I think, well, I know I loved him. He was the first person to actually be kind to me. As far as being in love with him? Not so much."
"What about the whole wedding thing?"
"Quinn, it's not like I had people lining up to date me. I just figured that maybe one day I would learn to be in love with him."
"You should never have to force yourself to love someone, Rach."
"I know. I thought a lot about what you had said and I realized that you were right. That I was just settling and selling myself short."
Not knowing what to say, Quinn leaned over and kissed Rachel with everything she had. She put as much passion and love into the kiss as she could. She smiled internally when she felt Rachel respond and then whimper.
Rachel spoke first when they pulled away, desperate for air. "Wow. That was just. Wow"
"Yea. It was."
This time, Rachel pulled Quinn in, kissing her again, then pulling away. "Still wow?"
"Still wow. Rachel, will you be my girlfriend?"
"Yes. Of course I will. But, what about the distance? How are we going to make it work?"
"We're going to try it and see. If we decided that it's too much, I'll transfer here."
"Quinn, I can't ask you to do that."
"You're not asking, I'm telling. I won't lose you again, Rachel. I won't let that happen."
In the dim light, Quinn could see the huge smile on Rachel's face.
"Best. Thanksgiving. Ever!" Rachel squeaked before throwing herself once more into Quinn's arms."
"Yep, it really is."
After a few more kisses, both girl drifted into a peaceful sleep in each other's arms.