A/N: Hello everyone! Smurf is here with another story! Yes, I am still alive. I know it probably seemed like I disappeared after I posted My Answer (if you read it), but I am still alive and kicking! I've just been... distracted. I lost my great uncle shortly after I posted Never Regretting. Speaking of which, this is the sequel I promised you all! Now, you all might hate me for this, but, just read the author's note at the end. My birthday is coming up at the end of August, and like I did last year, I am going to write a birthday story for myself! I won't tell you what it's about though. I am hoping to get it finished by my birthday. And my birthday falls on a Sunday this year, so I won't be able to post it on my birthday, so maybe either the day before or the day after. Most likely the day before. The day after my birthday will be four years since my Grandpa died, and I am thinking of visiting his grave... Oh yeah! The name of the story is the name of a song by UnderOath. They are so cool! Anyways, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Mew Mew. Ikumi and Reiko Yoshida do. If I did, well, I think it's pretty obvious what would happen if I did...
Giving Up Hurts the Most
It was summer break, and I was back in Tokyo. I had only been back for a week, and I knew I should go around and see all my old friends, but I didn't want to. I thought about going to Cafe Mew Mew to see all my friends, but I knew I would see Ryou. He was the last person I wanted to see. I knew I had hurt him, and I didn't want to see him. What if he was with Lettuce? I didn't think I could handle that. I was currently wandering around aimlessly, but I stayed away from the cafe. I stopped in a park to rest and looked up at the sky. The sky was darkening quickly, it looked like it was going to rain, I stood up and took a couple steps when I stopped again. I saw Ryou and Lettuce a few feet in front of me, walking hand in hand. They were smiling and looked like they were enjoying each others company. As I stood there, watching them, the rain started to fall. I watched as Lettuce reached into her bag and pulled out an umbrella and they went on their way. I knew I should have started for home, but I stood rooted to the spot. I couldn't move, not after the affection I witnessed between one of my friends and the man I loved. I felt the familiar burn of tears in the corner of my eyes. As the rain fell, I fell to my knees and started to cry.
"Ichigo?" a voice said behind me.
I started and looked around behind me. Mint was standing there, with a blue umbrella. She had her bag with her and Ichigo suspected she had just gotten off work.
"Oh, Mint!" I cried, running over to her. "I saw Ryou and Lettuce together! Please, tell me they aren't together!"
Mint looked into my face and sighed. She looked down at the ground before answering me.
"I'm sorry, Ichigo. But, Lettuce and Ryou have been dating for awhile now," she said, looking up at me. "I know how much you loved him."
I was stunned. I couldn't move, I didn't even notice that the rain had gotten harder.
"Come on, Ichigo. You can come to my house so you can dry off," Mint said.
She took hold of my arm and lead me from the park to her mansion.
When we reached her house, I took a bath so I wouldn't catch cold, and then I borrowed some of her clothes while mine were drying. When I came out of the bathroom, I saw that there was some tea and sweets, and Berry was there, too.
"Ichigo! It's so nice to see you!" Berry said, jumping up off the bed. "I've missed you so much!"
She rushed over to me and hugged me, then led me over to the bed. I sank into the softness of Mints bed, and sat there staring out the window. It was still raining and as I watched, I saw lightning flash across the sky.
"Ichigo?" Mint asked. "Are you okay?"
As I continued to watch the rain fall and the lightning flash across the sky, my eyes filled with tears. I put my face in my hands and sobbed. When I had calmed down, I looked around over at Berry and Mint.
"What am I going to do? I don't know if I can live without him," I said.
Mint and Berry exchanged glances before Mint spoke.
"Ichigo, I think it is time for you to move on," she said.
Move on? What did she mean by that?
"Mint is right," Berry said. "Ryou has moved on. I think it is time that you move on as well."
I jumped up and walked over the window.
"I can't move on," I said. "It was hard to move on after Masaya and I broke up. But, even though Masaya was my first love, there was a part of me that had always loved Ryou. I still love Ryou. I can not move on without knowing how he truly feels about me."
"What do you mean by that?" Mint asked.
"Remember when we were first turned into Mew Mew's? Well, there was a time when I thought he loved me. Every time he looked at me, I could see it. Masaya looked at me like that. Before Masaya and I got together, and even afterwards, I had conflicting emotions. I was so happy when Masaya told me that he loved me, so I just pushed the feelings I had for Ryou deep inside me and tried to forget him. But, after all these years, I can't forget him. I don't know what to do anymore."
Mint and Berry were quiet afterwards. I had a strange suspicion that they were exchanging glances behind my back.
"Ichigo, if you are so worried about it, then go ask him how he feels about you," Mint said.
I turned around and looked at Mint.
"I can't do that!" I said. "I can't face Ryou. Not after all this time, not after I know that he is with Lettuce. I think I should keep my distance from him."
"So, you are just going to give up?" Mint asked. "The Ichigo I knew was never this weak! The Ichigo I knew never gave up! She fought with everything she had! When I first met you all those years ago, I thought you were some sort of freak, but after I got to know you, I realized you weren't. I was inspired by you! I admired you! Now, however, I find myself disgusted with you!"
Berry was quiet after that outburst from Mint, and she looked over at me. I knew she was waiting for me to defend myself. I turned away from Mint.
"Mint, people change. I told Ryou this before I left. After fighting the aliens and then the Saint Rose Crusaders, I matured. I am no longer the care-free Ichigo Momomiya you remember. I grew up and I guess now I am a little bitter."
I saw Mint's reflection in the window as she turned from me and headed for the door.
"I'll see if your clothes are dry," she said.
After she left, silence fell upon Berry and I. I didn't know what to say. What could I say? They didn't seem to understand what I was going through.
"You know, Mint is right. I know you said you can't live without him, but you just spent a year living without him. But, if you are worried about how he feels about you, you should ask him. After you left, he moped for a while. I don't know if he was moping because you were gone or if it was something else, but after he agreed to go out with Lettuce, he seemed to be in a much better mood. I think you should leave it alone and move on, but if you are worried about it, you should talk to Ryou about it."
Mint came back into the room and handed me my clothes. As I changed back into them, I was lost in my thoughts. Should I give up on Ryou and move on, or should I talk to him? There were so many conflicting emotions, I didn't even know where to begin.
After I was done dressing, I went back into Mint's room to say goodbye and borrow an umbrella, since I didn't have mine and it was still raining. Mint and Berry stood at the door and waved as I walked away. I still hadn't made a decision as to what I was going to do. As I walked, I stopped and looked up at the sky. I watched the clouds move across the sky for a few minutes. Then I sighed and took a step forward before I stopped again. There in front of me, a few feet away, stood Ryou. He was looking at me, shock written all over his face. I know I must have looked shocked as well.
"Ichigo?" he asked.
I took a step back and before I knew it, I was running away from him. I didn't know why I was running. I heard heavy footsteps behind me, and knew Ryou was chasing me. I started to run faster, but Ryou was taller, so he caught up to me pretty quick. He grabbed my arm and stopped me. I didn't want to turn around; I didn't want to see his sapphire blue eyes.
"Ichigo, why are you here?" he asked.
I took a chance and turned to look at him. As my brown eyes met his blue ones, I didn't know if I could talk, but I forced myself to answer his question.
"It's summer break," I answered.
I looked away from his face and tried to pull my arm out of his grip. But, he kept a firm grip on my arm.
"I didn't mean here in Tokyo, I mean, why are you here around the cafe?"
I looked up into his face again, and tears filled my eyes.
"I don't know why I am here. I was thinking of stopping at the cafe earlier to see the girls, but I didn't want to go in because I was afraid I would see you. But, then I did see you, with Lettuce. Mint found me and took me back to her house because I was soaked, and I was just walking home. I don't know why I am here now. I didn't even realize that I was by the cafe."
He let go of my arm and looked down at the ground.
"So, you saw me with Lettuce, huh?" he asked.
"Yes, I saw you with her. At that moment, I felt like my life was ending. After all this time, I still love you. That will never change. It might be one-sided, but, that doesn't change how I feel," I said, tears now falling from my eyes. "I have to make a decision about what to do now, and I think I am going to forget you and move on, just like you did with me."
I turned my back on him and took a step forward.
"Ichigo, please don't go," he whispered.
I stopped and glanced behind. He sounded like a little kid the way he said that, and he also looked like one. I could see tears forming in his eyes, and I was a little taken aback. I had never seen Ryou cry. I took a deep breath and looked away.
"I'm sorry, Ryou. But, this is something I need to do," I said. "Goodbye, Ryou."
I started to walk away from Ryou, tears streaming down my face. I had given up on the guy I loved. Giving up on him hurt more than anything else.
The End
A/N: Well, what did you think? I'm so sorry! I wanted this to be happy, but I have been feeling down a little and it came out in my story. But, it's not over yet! There will be yet another sequel! I will keep doing them until Ryou and Ichigo will be together, and they will be together! I can promise you that. Masaya needs to go die... Also, sorry for making Lettuce seem like the bad guy here, but I do not think she needs to be with Ryou. I was not at all happy when I watched the series and she KISSED him. I was all "WTF? Why the hell is she kissing him? He belongs to Ichigo!" I know I mentioned it in one of my other stories. And she seems to have a thing for him the manga series. All I gotta say is that she better keep her hands off Ryou. We all know he belongs to Ichigo. And to me, but that's just in my dreams. Ha ha! Well, it's 5 am now. I guess I should probably get some sleep. I'll leave the Mew Mew's here.
Ichigo: Smurf2005 would like us to tell you to read and review.
Keiichiro: But, please, no flames.
Lettuce: She accepts constructive criticism, though!
Mint: She passed out again! (Nudges Smurf with her foot)
Zakuro: ...
Pudding: I'm a monkey! (Swings from a tree)
Ryou: She hardly never stays up for the author's notes.
Smurf: Like the Mew Mew Crew said, read and review, but please no flames. I accept constructive criticism, but, please, don't make it too harsh. Well, see you in my next story! (Hugs Ryou)
