shuffle challenge

by LXBBandLXlightfan

I decided to take on the shuffle challenge where you write short fics based off whatever comes up on you're ipod. This is an insane crack filled drable. Some of the pairings are crack too. Rated M for horrendous child abuse in one of the fics. I might do more if I get bored. IDOE.

Challenge:

-Pick a fandom. (I picked Death note obviously)

-Put your music player on shuffle.

-Drabble to 10 songs (I did waaaay more than ten). You have however long the song is to start and finish, no more, no less.

-No skipping songs, either.

Light was walking down the street, when he saw a person that fit Mello's description perfectly. "OMG, your Mello!" said Light. Mello was sadish looking, so Light decided to try to cheer him up because light was on crack. So Light invited Mello to his house, where Mello exploded. Light instantly got sad and the next day, his house had a leak and a hole in the floor. Light also had to fight off a few random bad guys that tried to break in. Light was a little sad that Mello was gone though, because he had gotten lonely. But Mello was gone and Light had to face reality. So, he looked forward to seeing (creepers gonna creep by thnxcya)

Near was sitting under a rainbow tree, when Mello and Matt knocked him over and ran off, leaving Near alone again. He had no friends. He started crying. Then, they came back and pushed him over. Near got back up and realized that he could try harder to be friends with them. So he ran over to Mello and gave him random rainbow chocolate and was happy. (dreams can be by the cooler kids)

Light poured himself a beer. Then he wished he could sing a song to make L bring him more beer. Then, he dragged L away and forced him to drink a beer. L got mad and made Light drink warm beer and pizza. Then they tried to drive to the store to get more beer. Light started having an orgasm in the car. L tried to tell Light that he had had enough, but Light just screamed "NOOOOOO!" then they crashed and died. (beer is good by phycostick)

Matsuda was trying to impress Misa. He tried really hard every single day, even though he knew that he would never have a chance with her because she loved Light. What could he do? He thought that Light was a really nice boy. He just couldn't bring himself to come between Light and Misa. But one day, Matsuda found out that Light was Kira. Light died by his own notebook leaving Misa all alone. Matsuda saw her in the garden crying and put his arms around her. She sobbed into his arms and hugged Matsuda. For a second, she felt like he could make all her problems go away. That she could almost forget the crushing heart break she was facing because Light had died. Matsuda. (たった１つの想い by kokia)

L had a huge secret. He was the world's greatest detective, but at night, he turned into a super panda! L would run on top of rooftops and fight crime with a metal baseball bat. He was the legendary panda hero! One day, L saw a sweet shop that was being robbed by a spider child and a gang of thugs. "Panda hero, help! " the panda hero told the shop keeper that he would help if the shop keeper would give him free deserts for life. The shop keeper reluctantly agreed and L went to work on fighting the group of thugs lead by the spider child. Within an hour they fell. (panda hero by hachi)

Mello was walking down the street with Matt. They where in LA. Mello had spent a while on his appearance that morning to try to impress Matt. He just wanted Matt to love him. he wanted to be somebody to Matt. He was tierd of being nobodys. The day before that, Mello had even tried looking at porn to make himself feel like he wasen't nobody and it diden't work. Mello diden't know, but Matt actually had similar feelings. He wanted Mello to love him. he wanted Mello to want him. he also felt like nobody and he thought that Mello made him feel like he actually was somebody. "Mello," Matt said "I want to be your somebody. I love you" "Matt, your m (nobodies by maralin manson )

It was raining outside. Near was looking out the window. He was remembering a time when he was at whammys. He had been tied up, blindfolded, and carried into a deep part of the forest by some mean boys that where a few years older than Near. Near was trying to find his way back, when it started pouring rain. "Here, you can have my umbrella." said Mello, who was looking for a soccer ball he had lost. Near looked up and smiled. It was the only kind thing anyone had done for him since he came to whammys. Near wondered how Mello was doing now. If he was ok. If he still cared. Near decided to go find Mello. He knew where Mello was staying. Near knocked on the door. Mello greeted him with surprise and happiness. (hello how are you? By nanou)

L had a crush on a boy named Light. He was an exchange student. He was really attractive. One day L followed him after school and found Light taking two icecreams into an open field. He also found out Light was raising a monster. He told me to keep it a secret. It was the 3 of them for a while and they were happy until one day the monster swallowed Light whole. L fell over and when he woke up, the monster grabbed his hand and talked to him with Light's voice. Light had just become a monster. When they went back to school the government tried to be stupid and bomb Light but he murdered them all and they lived happily ever after. L stood alongside his monster boy and love. (my crush was monster boy by Phantom Girl Catalyst )

Near had always been hiding everything behind his emotionless mask. No one could penetrate it. until Beyond came along. Beyond could see right through it. he could see the feelings Near always hid. He could see the person Near really was. Near loved Beyond because of that, but he never told him. love seemed to be the only thing Beyond couldn't see in Near. Beyond could see parts of Nears soul the even Near never knew existed. One day, Near wanted to ask him if he could tell that Near loved him. and he wanted Beyond to tell Near what he couldn't see inside his own soul. B's eyes pierced Near's heart. One day, Beyond came up to Near and told him what Near wanted to her. He answered all of Nears questions. (eye examination by 40㍍)

As Mello was driving the truck to a church, he though back over why he was doing this. He wanted to protect Near. He wanted to make sure that Kira couldn't do anything to him. Mello knew that doing this would probably kill him. He knew that he wouldn't see Near again. Even so, he would sacrifice anything to make sure Kira couldn't kill the person Mello loved. That's right, loved. He loved Near more than being number one. He had stopped caring about that the second he put Takada on his bike. This was the only way for them to both win. If Near died, Mello would lose too much. (safe and sound by Taylor Swift)

Beyond had been re-incarnated quite a few times. In his previous life he had been a murderer. Interesting. Now Beyond was a girl. Also interesting. He had been killed by poison, hanging, fire, and many other things. He didn't really take life seriously anymore. Sometimes, he wanted to just kill himself for fun to see what he would be next. He could remember his past lives because he had died so many times. Death was just a fun game for him to play. His past murders made sense when he thought about it like that. Well, it didn't matter whether it was him, L, or other people. Death is death and death is fun as long as you try new things and methods. Beyond slit his thought and died. (Helena beat by foster the people)

Beyond, your life has been all about L. if you keep obsessing over him, you won't have a soul left. But, actually, I love L. you're just going to follow him forever. Sometimes though, I get haunted by the memories we share. The beatings by other children, the cruelty by the adults. Well, maybe when you see me after you get this, you'll understand. Your just a copy. Everything's just a copy. I fell in love with two unoriginal things. I regret having to chose, because in the end it never really mattered. Goodbye Beyond.(from A's point of view) (diamond sea by the Yeah yeah yeahs)

Light was feeling sad, he had no hope. So, he decided to cheer himself up the best may he knew. He pulled out his enormous penis. It made him feel better because his penis was the biggest penis he had ever seen. it was beatifull and majestic and stuff. It just made Light smile and everything was magically ok again. He almost wanted to walk outside and sing about his penis because it made his absolely happy. Every was going his way! (I take a look at my enormous penis by Bob and Tom)

Near was in an emo corner crying again. He always went off to this corner to act emo because he couldn't express it in front of other people. He couldn't go to a rated R movie with Mello because he was too young. Because Near didn't show his emotions, it made them more intense and made his life horrible. He was also had a self esteem problem. He was a fat, boring, loser that could never have a real life. If anyone could see the state he was in, they would call him an over emotional loser. They would never understand. Near started to sing emo songs to himself for no reason. Mello walked in when Near was screaming a part. Awkward…ness…(prozak milkshake by phycostick)

Light was standing outside L's door with a bouquet of roses. He knocked on the door. It was raining. "L open up" he said. L opened the door. "I want to run away with you L. Your L, I'm Kira. We're in love. We need to escape our rolls." L just nodded. Light picked him up and started to run down the hall and out the door with L. they got onto the street. Light just kept running. When Light couldn't run anymore, he stopped and L kissed him. "I'll take it from her." He told Light L eventually managed to drag an exhausted Light out of the country and they were finally free. Free to love each other. L and Kira. (check yes Juliet by we the kings)

Matt walked into his apartment. He saw a piece of toast lying there. There was something wrong with the toast. It looked angry. The toast had a face it was staring at him. it was creepy! The toast looked like it was checking Matt out. This disturbed Matt even more. What the heck? The toast told Matt to eat him so that it could steal his soul. How the heck was that even possible? Matt said "Noooooooooooooooooooooo." (creepy toast by matt9five)

Mello was sitting in the bathroom remembering his past sex experiences. He used to wear fishnets. He used to drink too. But the best sex he had ever had was gone. Mello looked through his book of sex tips. He was getting all sentimental over his best sexual experience. Where did that guy go? Oh yeah, he went off to become the head of the SPK. Near made Mello fall apart. Mello wished that he would come back so they could have sex again. Near really was the best. Mello only had sex with Matt in his night dress now. (florescent adolescent by the arctic monkeys)

Matt had opened a bar in Manhattan. Mello, Near, and Light where waiters. Misa occasionally played there on Friday nights. So did Takada and Watari. L was the door manager. Beyond and Matsuda where the chefs. Well, Matsuda was the assistant chef. (The Sweetest Time by Nakatsuka Takeshi)

When Near felt blue, he always thought of Mello. Mello was his shining stare. When Near thought of his he felt alright. They're love was bigger than the two of them. Words could not describe how much Near missed him. Wherever he was now. Near felt like he could fly when he thought of Mello. He felt free. Mello had saved him. Mello would always be in Ners heart. Even though he was dead, Near felt like Mello would always be alive in his heart. He didn't know where people went when they died, but he wanted Mello to love him wherever he was. Near knew he would always love Mello. They're love was that big. It would last forever. (wherever you are by Dj melodie)

Everyone at the task force was watching the various Kira programs. Watching the one they where currently watching was disturbing. Apparently Kira had sent Takada a message telling everyone to worship jeans because Hanna Montana and Kira both wore them. It was weird. Actually, it went beyond weird. The weirdest part was, that the Kira worshipers actually took this seriously. One group in some European country had actually started a cult dedicated to jeans. They were having a really creepy ritual to celebrate it too. People where dancing around a jean hater that was being roasted over an open fire and poked with pitchforks every few seconds, while they were singing/chanting a slow creepy song about how jeans where the most superior and godly piece of clothing ever. Light was watching this and was very pleased. He had always wanted , deep down in his twisted heart for people to actually do this. He went into the bathroom and started singing along to the creepy jeans song. But, he was a bad singer and was completely off key. Also, he was so loud, that Near heard him singing all the way over at his base and started to record it as evidence. Also, Mello put his hands over his ears and Matt lost his boss fight. Matt jumped in the car to go try to stop the horrible, horrible "singing". While Light was being dragged off by the rest of the task force, Matt came in and shot him 90 times. He still kept singing. Near tried throwing a lego at him. he STILL kept singing. Mello came in and shot Light a million more times. It didn't work. Everyone came to the conclusion that Light had been possessed by the devil and needed and exorcist. That was obviously why he wasn't dying. Ryuk even tried writing his name in the book and it didn't work. Mello tried to hit Light with his rosary. Lights eyes turned red and his singing got even worse. Everyone who wasn't covering their ears had to cover them. The guy who got Justin Bieber a record deal was trying to find to source of the singing so he could give that person a record deal. Eventually, Light's singing got so bad that it killed all of the people in the world who where extreme music critics. No one really complained about this though. The devil appeared and killed them all. The end.(my jeans by Jenna Rose slowed down to 15 minutes O_o)

Matt was downloading a bunch of illegal crap. Mello asked him what he was doing. Matt explained why he was an online pirate. He wanted mp3s. He loved to steal software. It was just too much fun. Matt dresses like a pirate anyway, so he just loved piracy. He had a ton of mpegs too. He never wanted to buy CDs either. Or buy porn. He also was such a good hacker and knew that no one online could take him alive. This was the reason he was third at whammy. He would also bury his Cds. (Piracy by phrog801)

Misa was breaking up with Light. And she was doing it the hard way. He always called her out when she was wounded. But someday, she would get away from him. All he would ever be was Men. She would get big enough for him not to hit her he always switched sides. He pointed out her flaws. She tried to block him out, but she wanted to feel ok again. She realized that someone probably mad him cold a long time ago. Misa would live somewhere she always wanted to. Why did Light have to treat her so meanly. She could see him in a bar watching football and yelling. No one would care. All he was a liar and pathetic and alone in life and mean. That's all he would ever be. He was lying to her the whole time. She didn't need him anymore. She could do without him. (mean by Taylor Swift)

Matsuda, I wish you were born a girl. I would want to be your girl friend. We could lay around and I could cook for you. But I can't because you're a guy. I would even take care of you if you where sick. You could help me with my insecurity. You would be my fiancé. But, like I said. (by the way, this is from Misa's point of view) (Tim, I wish you were born a girl by of Montreal)

Near wanted Mello to realize that he wasn't really as emotionless as everyone thought. he was really passionate and needed a romantic relationship that was more that just simply romantic. It needed to be fiery. Near needed Mello to give him a thrill. He wanted to explain it to Mello and hoped he would understand this. Near wanted Mello to sweep him off his feet and take him to new hights. If Mello couldn't do that, then Near just wasn't ready for a relationship with him yet. Mello had to match his passion. Mello came up to Near, held his hand and carried him into the bedroom after Near had explained this. Mello wanted to show Near that he could match his passion. He wanted to never let go of Ner's hand. Near liked the idea of Mello being this passionate about the sexual part of their relationship and wanted it. (going in for the kill by Skrillex)

L was magically transported to the future. There where machines everywhere. Everything was electronic. Robots where walking down the street in all shapes and sizes. L saw a robot that looked like him with an insect mouth from the waist up walking down the street with a Light android. He wondered if this had anything to do with his timeline. He walked up to his robot clone and asked it what it's world was like. It could only respond in bizarre clicking and whirring noises along with gestures that where hard to read this only confused L. the Lightbot started doing the same thing. It seemed like they were having a conversation in a language L couldn't speak. L figured they were doing exactly that. (machine muzik by Deino3330)

Matt was playing call of duty, but he kept getting onto teams of noobs. He always had bad luck. He would end up cussing. Just when he got a shot to hit, he got blown up. The guys on the other team kept hiding behind walls. There were also glitches and lags. Matt ended up losing for crappy reasons too often. The worst part was, that he always got onto a team with some really noobish guy with the user name Lightoo. (the noob team by thnxcya )

Near was sitting in the headquarters like usual, playing with toys. He pondered why he never went outside. He was ok with just staying there and only leaving once a day. He was anxious. He hoped he wasn't erasing himself. Near didn't want to join a religion because all of them where filled with losers. Maybe he could go somewhere with Mello. Mello agreed to help him get out of the house. They tried to go to a party so that Near could forget things for a while. Near thought it would be nice if Mello could show him that things could be good. Mello had his back. (Gronlandic edit by of Montreal)

Once upon a time there was a man named Light that was very rich and like to eat grommet foods. One day, he ran out of new things to try so he started to make the cooks prepare weird things for him. he didn't care as long as the foods where new. His cook, L was starting to get tried though. One day he tried to leave, but Light got mad and decided to eat him. L was surprisingly good he tasted like all the sugary things in the world. So, Light decided to eat a servant a day. He ate the maids, Mello and Near, Beyond the butler, and Matt the lawyer. One day Light was out of people though, so he decided to ry to eat himself and died. The end. (Evil food Eater Conchita by mothy)

Beyond remembered when L left him. Beyond went absolutely crazy. He was of coarse remembering this when people where taking him to an insane asylum. L didn't believe Beyond when he said that Beyond would go crazy, but this was the ultimate proof. Beyond told himself that people where going to take him o a farm with flowers and birds. (They're coming to take me away by NapoleonXIV )

Before Near had come to Whammys he had been kidnapped and made a sex slave. Every night, the person who "owned him" would sell him out and have people rape him. he was only five when thi happened. Every time someone raped him, he felt his childhood melting away. One day however, Near got a hold of a gun and managed to shoot the person who was whoreing him out. "I'm a bit too dangerous of toy for you now, aren't I?" he said and he shot the man's head off from then on, Near tried to force himself back into his old innocent world that was ripped apart. It worked, but he still had scars from his days of being a dangerous toy. (adult's toy by utsuP)

Beyond had seen L wander off into the woods and tried to follow his lover. Beyond suddenly fell into a hole and died. Then he woke up. it was just a dream. He was still in the forest though and it was cold. The wild animals kept howling and seemed like they were going to eat him up slowly, piece by piece. Then, a strange woman with pig tails came up to Beyond and gave him an apple. "this is poisoned." She told him. She ran off. Trying not to suffer a painful death, beyond ate the apple and fell into an eternal sleep of death. As he was dying he heard L's voice calling to him. He saw L standing over him, holding him and wished he wasn't going to die. L had come to look for him. (coffin of sweet death by Machigarita)

Light was walking down the street. The dicks in his town couldn't keep him down. He was Kira. he spent days spending time by himself. There wasn't a person that could beat Light. Light saw an article of a guy that didn't like kira and lived on the moon and had a bathroom in his pants. Well, that guy couldn't keep Light down. Light just pointed at his face and smiled. No one knew what was in his head. (can't keep Johnny down by they might be giants)

Beyond had thoughts of murder. L looked into his eyes. They had a pick nick in the dark. He whispered to L "someday, I'll sing you a love you song." L rolled over and they kissed he questioned him. "I love you, if your love fades, I'll die." Beyond responded. They hugged. L said

"The root of my affection is just the pleasure of being near you." They kissed again under the moon. (sing you a love you song by of Montral)

Light was talking to L. L wondered how Light could ever expect him to love him if he always hid who he was. L actually wanted to marry his close friends just so they could have a house together. He didn't know how to show his love for Light and didn't want Light to ask him to explain. If L married all of his close friends, he might have someone to watch his back while he slept. He wanted to pretend he could love Light, but he couldn't as long as Light hid as Kira. (don't ask me to explain by of Montreal)

Mastsuda was looking for true love wherever he went he just wanted to find a special someone. Anywhere. He felt like he was walking on the inside of the stares he just wanted true love, was that too much to ask? He asked Misa is she would be his true love. She said yes they randomly walked through the park together. (true love by Jun feat schanita )

Light was holding L in his arms as he died. He didn't like the fact that he had hurt the person he loved. He had killed the person he loved. It was too much. He didn't feel anything when he first saw L starting to hit the ground, but when he saw L's face he fell apart. He wished that he could die with L. he didn't want to leave him. He didn't want L's heart to be broken by this either. But the whole thing was out of Light's control now. Rem would have killed him no matter what at that point. Light felt a million jabs of pain pierce his heart because of the guilt. He held L close to his chest and started to cry. He just sat there in pain until someone tried to take L out of his arms. Light wouldn't let go. He couldn't. (Curl up and die by Relient K)