Broken Roads

I was staring at my hands while walking up the path to the Fogue Forest. I hadn't brought my horse, and I hadn't told anyone I was gone. If I died today, no one would know. My body would probably be buried in some logs and I'll grow back as a random Log-woman. Oh my God, then I'd really have skinny branch arms. Aw man.

"What the hell are you doing here?" The Witch asks me, scowling. "I need to go out."

She was really pretty. She had silver hair and brown eyes, and really good skin. I…was a rancher. I had weird short, curly hair, and spent most of my time in mines, getting all sweaty looking for ores.

Ugh, this was going to be embarrassing.

"Uhm, I just…wanted to ask you something," I say. "About the Wizard."

"What about him?" she asks, inviting me into her house.

"Does he…are you two going out?" I ask.

She raises an eyebrow. "Why?"

"I just-," I start sputtering, not having a clue of what to say.

"Do you like him?" she asks.

"I -,"

"Because if you do, I'll leave that alone," she says, blinking.

"Well," I say.

"How much do you like him?" she asks, not looking at me. Her eyes flicker to something behind me, but in the Fogue Forest, I have no courage whatsoever.

"He's…," I couldn't explain. The Witch expected an answer. If I told her that I liked him, would she really let me…make a move? I sounded so stupid. Of course not. "Never mind. He just likes you, so I wanted to know if you liked him back."

"Are you sure?" she asks, going pink.

I nod.

"Is that true Wizard?" she asks.

I turn around to see him, tanned skin, silver hair, his cheeks pink. It was winter. I was suddenly freezing a lot more than I was a while ago.

"Yes," he says.

My stomach flopped inside of myself. I scurried off, not bothering with saying goodbye. I'd just set up my huge crush with my rival in love. I was so flipping pathetic. I rushed home and bumped into Chase.

"Oh my God I'm sorry," say.

"You have to watch where you're going. I almost dropped my cabbages!" he scolds.

I doubt he even realizes that I'm crying now. My face is wet and my ears are burning.

"I'm sorry," I say, but my voice cracks and he finally looks at me.

"Molly?" he asks, concern replacing anger in his voice.

"What?" I ask him, but it comes out so harshly I only cry more and keep apologizing.

"You have a fever," he says.

"I don't care," I say, ripping away from him and flying into my house, running straight into the door "Ow!"

I hear Chase's laugh behind me.

"What are you laughing at?" I ask him.

"You just…ran into the door!" he says, laughing hysterically.

"Yea, har, har. You think that's funny? I just set up Wizard and Witch. They're perfect, everyone's perfect. And me? I've got cows. I've got three, perfect, amazingly awesome cows. So screw life. Because life is just…so…," I say, then I start crying again. Chase looks at me and sighs then pulls me into my house, makes me sit on my bed and cooks some food.

"What are you doing?" I ask him.

"What does it look like?" he asks, holding the soup up for me. "Come and eat."

"No way," I say. "You eat it, you made it," I say.

"Using your vegetables, I made it, for you," he says.

"No," I say.

"Please?" he asks.

His amethyst eyes melt me and I crawl to the table, thinking back to when my heart would beat faster and faster if Chase was doing anything near me. Then Maya came along, and she became my friend. Then Maya told me she liked him, and I knew I had to stop feeling anything at all for Chase. Then I warmed up to Wizard. And I thought he'd warm up to me. But…but…

"Shut your thoughts up and eat the soup Molly," Chase says, handing me a spoon.

I sniffle, and eat it. The soup tastes delicious. So I stop thinking about how I'd liked Chase for the longest time in the world, or how Wizard had deflated me. I stopped thinking about my pregnant cow, or Bo and his strawberry milk. I just looked at the cute little chicken pieces floating around with the noodles in the soup, and kept eating.

And then it was gone. And my thoughts came back.

"You know," I say suddenly, looking at Chase. "I used to really like you."

"Huh?" he asks, taken aback.

"Before Maya came, I was…nursing my terrible incessant crush on you. But then she told me that she liked you, so I backed off. But we're still friends right?"

"Maya?"

"Yea, the girl with the braids? She lives at the Inn with her parents?"

"Right," he says. He takes a last spoonful of his soup and I wash the plates. "Why are you telling me now?"

I blink my eyes in surprise. "I don't know. I guess I'm just tired of hiding my feelings and waiting for things to play out…or waiting for the next day to come so I can give you tea in the morning. It's so effortless now, but I guess I'm tired of waiting. I wish something would just happen y'know? It's like I'm stuck in this maze, and everywhere I turn is a dead end. Even us."

"Even us?"

"I like you, but you like Maya. We're a dead end," I say. "Just like Wizard."

"I never said I liked Maya," he says quietly.

"I know, but it's true isn't it? I mean, she's cute and she can't cook so you're teaching her. It's…perfect."

"The farmer and the cook are the same thing! The farmer farms the vegetables and the cook cooks them. If both aren't superb at what they do, the dish falls apart," he says. "So technically, we're perfect."

I laugh. "I'm not perfect. What perfect person sets up their crush with their rival and then moans about
it? What perfect person makes the guy she likes cook her soup when she's sick, when he obviously doesn't feel the same way?"

"I didn't say I didn't feel the same way," he whispers again.

I lift my head up. "What?"

He blushes, and refuses to look at me. "You put your feelings on the table, so I'll put mine down too. I liked you too."

I liked you too.

"But not anymore…"

"Shh," he says, pressing a finger to my lips. "Before Maya came, when you liked me, I liked you too. I was almost positively ready to take you to an amazing restaurant. And when Maya arrived you two became friends, and I wanted to be friends with all of you. But…Maya started crushing on me, and then you started getting distant and I had no idea what was going on. And before you know it, you're into Wizard and the three of us never hang out. And Maya won't stop pestering me about teaching her how to cook, or asking me all these questions that I don't know how to answer. But you're happy with Wizard and I can't just break that. So…we both pretended that we were dead ends."

"So what happens now?" I ask, breathing.

He sticks his hands in his pockets. "I have to go home and sleep," he says.

"Wait, so you're just going to leave? After all that?" I ask him.

He shrugs. "We're a dead end remember?"

He starts walking away. I close my door, my face burning.

I thought he said he liked me. Don't you fight for someone if you like them? Don't you try? Even at a dead end. You climb over the fences, you cheat, and you knock someone off. You retrace your steps and take a new path, somewhere you haven't tried. You don't just log off. You don't just pretend it's not there anymore. That's what I'd been doing. That's why it never would've worked out with me and Wizard.

I was in love with Chase.

But I'd tried to forget him using Wizard.

How had I not realized it before? There was one day that was burning in my memory. The day I realized I did love him, the day I got scared and ran away.

"I like him," Maya says, smiling to herself. "He's cute, he's a good cook, and he's perfect!"

"Is he?" I ask.

"Mmhmm. And you know who I am talking about?"

"How would I, you haven't even told me yet!" I say, laughing.

"It's Chase!" she squeals. "And I asked him out yesterday, in an anonymous note of course, telling him to meet me by the beach at 7:00. And he CAME!"

Why would he go? Did he think he'd meet someone special there?

"What did you say in the note?"

"I said; meet me at the beach at 7. From your secret admirer!"

"What did you guys do?" I ask, plastering on a happy face.

"Oh we just talked a lot. Then he told me the best fish to catch, and I actually caught one, so we went back to his house and we cooked it together. It was so much fun!"

Jealousy was killing me. I told Maya I had to go and stormed down to Chase's house. It smelled like fish, so he had his windows open.

"HEY!" I yell.

"Whoa, what's up with you today?" he asks.

Then my bravado fades…because he looks happy. His curly blonde hair, still held back by two pins is more disheveled and cute. His cheeks are rosy, his lips turned in a smile. He's not even wearing his apron. And it's because of her. I suddenly feel so utterly pathetic.

"Do you like Maya?" I ask.

He raises an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because…she likes you," I say.

"Oh," he says. "Yea well…she's…something." His eyes are sparkling. I had never seen him this happy before.

"I heard you went on a date," I say.

"Yea, it was fun," he says, chuckling slightly. "My house now reeks with fish because of her cooking."

I'm slowly shrinking away. I don't know what to say anymore. Chase looks puzzled at my inability to speak. I quickly give him some tea, just like normal and wave off.

I'm in love with him.

That's why I'm jealous.

We'd spent hours together, talking about useless things, talking about important things, cooking, farming, love, life, everything, and now suddenly he was going on anonymous dates and smiling like he was the happiest man in the world? Why couldn't I make him that happy? Was I just too weird? I wanted to make him happy. And if the only way is to leave them alone…then fine.

I realized suddenly I'd copied myself. I had unwillingly set them up, just like Wizard and Witch. It was me who introduced Maya to him and spent hours talking about him to her. It was me who made her like him, and now…now it was too late for anything.

But love makes a girl go crazy.

I run outside and snow has begun to fall. I trudge through it in my boots, my coat not nearly warm enough. A hat covers my ears and mittens are on my hands, but the cold nips through me. I keep walking, one foot in front of the other, until I'm finally in front of his door. I knock weakly, and sneeze. Chase opens the door with a surprised look on his face, and pulls me inside. He notices my shivering and goes to get a blanket. I stop him, taking his hand.

"I know," I say, sneezing again, "that I'm ill right now. And we might just be a dead end. But…I…I…"

"You-"

"I'm not…perfect. But I'd be even worse if I just pretended to be okay with letting you go," I say.

"What are you saying?" he asks me.

"I'm saying…that I'm in love with you. So if you tell me to leave, I will. I'll leave and I'll never bother you again. If you tell me to be your friend I will, and I'll be happy at your wedding just by caching the bouquet. But…we're not at a dead end. And even if we are, even if we ever will be, we can just back up, right now, and go the other way. I'm so tired of giving up."

He smiles at me, the same twinkling eye smile. "Remember that day after I went out with Maya?"

"What does that have-"

"I actually only went because I thought the letter was from you. And when I realized that, I realized something…I realized that I was in love with you. And I wasn't scared or anything. I was happy, I was ecstatic to know that I could feel that way about someone. But I didn't know how to talk to you. And then I lost you, and I probably would've gone crazy if I saw you crying. Then with Wizard, I was jealous, but I was happy for you. I was happy that you could love someone, and feel their love in return."

Did he just…did he say he was in love with me?

Was.

Always the killer.

"And now?" I ask him, shivering.

He edges closer to me, standing a bit taller than me, and leans his face closer. My heart beats rapidly and my cheeks are on fire.

"Now we forget about dead ends and broken roads. Now we make our own path…together," he whispers, and then he leans in that much closer and presses his lips onto mine.

I've kissed before. Some were sloppy, some were romantic, but this? This was breath-taking.

His lips tasted like honey from the tea I always make, and his arms wrapped around my waist. Every part of me wanted to explode with all kinds of emotions, relief, happiness, but most of all…love.