Fractures

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to The OC or the Snow Patrol lyrics.

A/N: BlueStarGirl gave me the prompt, "Anna's the one person who's never come to Ryan with a problem. That's why he's calling her now.", and this came out of it. I'm not sure if I did this whole thing right, but oh well. After "The Distance", 'cause I think it'd take some time for Ryan to get all re-adjusted again, si?

"It's a feeling I've had many times before
I can't hold the fort so don't give me more
I struggle and sweat when I'm wide awake
When I know I'm fine, I'm not used to fine
It's the same thing again
But it could become a problem if
We don't deal with it now"
-Snow Patrol, "Whatever's Left"

Anna sits on the plane and takes a bite of her thin pretzel. Her ears are filling with some old Bright Eyes and her eyes are locked on the ground below. If she didn't know any better she'd think she was flying over Malibu Barbie's Haven-World. But in reality, she's going back to Newport Beach. Her parents finally said that it was just her Junior year and, sorry, they wanted to spend the last two years with her before she went off to college. She was bitter at first, but Anna's never been one to hold a grudge. A few people in Newport should know that by now.

As the flight attendant demands, she turns off her iPod and tucks it into her bag under her seat. Her eyes linger on the bright sunshine soaked beaches and huge sculpted mansions. A smile twitches at her lips, and she can't help but think that she is going to Malibu Barbie's Haven-World.

Ryan shuts his eyes closed one more time. He wants to sleep, but each time he closes his eyes, an uncomfortable chill retreats to his nerves, and when he opens his eyes, he feels the strain of his exhausted eyelids forcing themselves to stay open.

He finally sits up with a frustrated sigh. He wants to sob his eyes out, but he found out a while ago that he forgot how to do that. Even though he's back in the one place where he's really felt – not at home, exactly, but right, he can't help but feel empty. Like a part of him is missing. He knows what it is, but he refuses to think of it.

He slowly lays back down and tries to sleep again.

Anna stares at her textbook intently, taking in all of the dull facts. Her eyes begin to wander around the room carelessly and stick on one person. She's barely spoken to him except for the brief, polite hello. There wasn't too much time to talk to him in her first round of Newport, considering she always had Seth jabbering next to her about Summer or sailing, or sailing in the summer, hopefully with Summer. Anna hopes it won't be the same in round two, but ever since this morning, it hasn't changed much.

"She punched me. In public, Anna! And in the stomach!" Seth shrieks, "I mean, wow, I knew about the rage blackouts, but wow. Not just wow, but also ow. At least she doesn't have a boyfriend. Still leaves a spot for me, right? I mean, it means she isn't totally over me, right? It does, right? Anna?"

Anna nods and makes a swift comment about Seth's predicament, but the entire time her eyes are locked on Ryan and Marissa hugging. Not that she's jealous. Why would she be?

Ryan's eyes are sad and droopy. Anna knows what he's thinking about. Seth "accidentally" told her about Theresa and the baby, as if it was a secret. So either he's having regrets or, Anna thinks to herself in a somewhat Seth Cohen way, he's really upset about whatever war they're studying now.

Anna knows she should know what war it is, but even if she's been reading about it, it doesn't mean she's been understanding it. She thinks to herself that it's sort of like Ryan in that sense. Even if she's been watching him, she doesn't really know what he's all about.

Ryan's desperately trying to finish his Trigonometry homework. It's the one thing that doesn't involve emotions of any sort. But all he can think of is Theresa's jet black wavy hair in a ponytail, swinging from side to side as she served him breakfast. She's all he can think about now. It's almost like she's haunting him. Ryan takes that back, because he knows she's haunting him. She's the one that told him to leave. So why does he feel like she's pulling him back when she isn't even there?

Ryan picks up his pencil again and starts tracing the triangles on his sheet of paper. Slowly, they no longer have anything to do with the problems, but are just triangles of different size and type, interfering with each other. He continues to draw and draw until he realizes that his work is covered in light pencil lines of triangles. "Shit," he mutters, and then begins to erase.

Ryan knows there's something going on in his head. Is it possible that Seth's gone through less than a quarter of the shit he's gone through and acts much more...insane? Ryan thinks that maybe Seth could just be the more sane of the two, because he doesn't have trouble sleeping at night. But Seth also ran away from possibly the best life Ryan could imagine. But didn't Ryan, too?

Ryan's confusing himself with questions and he knows there's no way he's going to finish his homework by tomorrow. He needs someone to talk to, but everyone he can think of comes along with chains. He'd have to talk about relationships with Marissa, listen about Summer with Seth, and with Kirsten and Sandy he'd have to explain everything. And he knows that'd be good for him, but he doesn't want it. He can't take it.

Ryan remembers suddenly, and almost smacks himself on the head. Anna's the one person who's never come to Ryan with a problem. That's why he's calling her now.

Anna rolls on her side, her head cradled by her pillow. It's only 9:00 in the evening, but she's trying to sleep anyways. She's bored. There's nothing for her to do in Newport. She wishes nothing had changed and she could just slip back into where she was before she left but she can't. A lifetime of difference has wrapped around the people Anna once cited predictable and now she doesn't even have a clue what their next move will be. She was warmly welcomed a second time by Marissa, Ryan, Seth and Summer but they're not like they used to be.

It's not as if Anna had a spot in their little group of friends when she left, anyways. Okay, so maybe she did, but now Luke's gone and while she never talked to him much, there's a huge impact. Anna would be the third wheel if the four of them were back in their united front. No, Anna never saw Ryan and Marissa together at the same time as Seth and Summer, but from Seth's sporadic e-mails, she had an idea. Her surprise was a little overwhelming when she found out just how much had changed.

The phone on her nightstand rings once and she reaches for it immediately, eager to talk to anyone on the other line. She can't help but hope it's a friend from Pittsburgh. She misses them. Now that she is back in California, she's officially angry with her parents. She doesn't care that they want to be with her; shouldn't they put her happiness first? But then she shakes those thoughts away because she's starting to sound like a sad princess, and that's the last thing she wants to be.

She answers with a bright hello, and the voice on the other end is unmistakable.

"Hey, Anna? I was wondering, uh, see, I kinda need someone to talk to and I, well...I thought of you so could you, um, come over? I know it's late for a school night," Ryan mutters, stumbling with his words. He isn't sure why he's so embarrassed.

"It's 9:04," Anna states, her amusement evident in her voice. Why the hell is Ryan fucking Atwood nervous to talk to her?

"Right. But can you?"

Anna maintains her cool tone. "Sure," she replies.

The pair both waits for the other to finish with a proper goodbye, and when neither does, they both hang up their phones promptly. With anyone else, it'd be impolite. But it's not with them. It's a part of their unspoken understanding.

Anna crosses her legs, Indian-style, across from Ryan, who has his back supported by his pillows. Her eyes are waiting for him to speak.

"I guess I should start from the beginning?" Ryan suggests.

Anna exhales a short breath. She scrunchs her nose and mouth into her own sort of charming face and says, withholding a grin, "Mm, not completely. Seth sort of..." she trails off.

Ryan looks a little taken aback. "Should've expected that," he notes.

Anna is quick to run to Seth's defense. "It just, like, slipped out. He was telling me about Portland and all so it was a little necessary," she explains. She knows the last thing anyone needs is a rift between newly reunited "brothers" Seth and Ryan.

"Well, I want back to get my stuff, 'cause you know Harbor, naked students, doesn't mix," Ryan begins. He's surprised at himself for adding in a little humor there, but it just...flows. He wants to see Anna laugh and he's not sure why.

Anna giggles a little. She scolds herself in her head for picturing a nude Ryan, even though it's a very nice picture. She quips, "You sound like Seth. Stop it,"

Ryan smiles lightly, but then shifts uncomfortably as he remembers the summer that lay behind him, chronologically at least. In other ways, he's still in that summer. "She didn't want to see me. I don't get it, you know? I came to be with her, and she pushed me away," he mumbles, "I really could've loved her. I tried. I loved the baby but now...How am I supposed to deal with it?"

Anna takes his cold hand into hers and rests it on his knee. He's tense, and she doesn't blame him. She can only imagine what he's gone through. She takes a breath in, and then speaks slowly, softly. "You did what you could, okay? And...I don't really know about this, but I don't think it's gonna go away. I think you need to talk to someone stronger than me," she says. It's odd to her that she's suggesting Ryan get therapy, but then she remembers that everyone isn't as strong as they seem.

Ryan nods and he doesn't let go of his clasp on her hand. They sit, silent, and Ryan opens his mouth again. "I don't know where to go now," he states, "Am I supposed to do something right?"

Anna shakes her head. "You know what you wanna do. You know. This is your chance, nobody else's," she said encouragingly.

Ryan nods, quiet again. "I guess that's my cue, right? I'll see you around," Anna sighs, slipping off the bed.

Ryan doesn't let go of her hand. "I can't sleep," he sputters.

Anna wears a confused expression in reply.

"Could..." he feels like a lost child, "could you sleep – " he cuts himself off with a shake of his head "No". His face turns a light shade of pink.

Anna smiles adoringly. "Yeah," she answers.

Ryan and Anna both lay on their backs, staring at the ceiling, hands still linked. Ryan slowly drifts off to sleep under Anna's caring watch, with no problems shutting his eyes. Anna likes to think that eventually he'll kiss her, eventually they'll become something more than friends. But right now, she's okay with holding his hand and helping him fall asleep.