TITLE: Havin' a Bad Day
RATING: PG-13
SPOILERS: None so far
ARCHIVE: Yes, ask first though please
DISCLAIMER: I do not own ANDROMEDA or any of it's characters. They belong to the lucky folks at Tribune.
SUMMARY: This is in response to DataPort's Harper Owie challenge. The challenge was to hurt Harper ten times in one fic. I was REALLY bored today so I sat down and started pounding this out. It doesn't have much of a plot and is WIP but it should be pretty short Let me know what you think!
Oh, yeah, Trance is purple 'cause I wanted Rev to get in on the action
**************************
"Ow! Dammit!" Harper swore as he rubbed his jaw. "Tyr, do you have to hit so hard?"
"Stop whining, you're voice is reaching ultrasonic levels." Tyr grimaced and threw another punch in Harper's direction. He pulled it at the last possible moment, not really wanting to harm the other man but determined to get his point across.
"OW! Owowowow!" Harper danced around with his hand over his eye. "All right! I've had it! I don't wanna be your punching bag anymore. Let's just admit that I will never be any good at hand-to-hand combat." Harper winced as he gingerly palpated his cheekbone. "Aw, man! I think it's broke!"
"Let me see." Tyr sighed. He grabbed Harper's chin and roughly twisted it from side to side. Harper was gonna have one heck of a shiner but Tyr was certain nothing was broken. "If it will make you feel better, go have Trance check it out, then meet me back here in one hour."
"But...but..." Harper sputtered, "I'm wounded! Can't we call it a day?"
"Do you remember what happened the last time we engaged the Drago-Katsov?" Tyr asked as he pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. He couldn't believe they were having this conversation *again*.
"Yeah, yeah, I know this one, we got our asses kicked, barely escaped with our lives, yadda, yadda, yadda." Harper made talking motions with his hand and rolled his eyes. "I know Tyr, I was there, remember?"
"I have begun to question your memory, because as *my* memory serves, you got your "ass kicked" worst of all." Tyr began advancing on Harper, his finger jabbing at Harper's chest with each "you" "*You* spent three weeks on bed rest. *You* weren't able to repair the ship. *You* need to learn to defend yourself and until I am satisfied that you are no longer endangering my survival, we will continue these lessons." Tyr leaned in closer and whispered in Harper's ear, "Understood?"
Harper stumbled back, immediately on the defensive. "Yeah? Well...If *YOU* had done your job, mister tactical officer, we would never have been boarded in the first place!" Harper put on his "so there" face.
Tyr raised his arm, as if to backhand Harper. Instead he ruffled the younger man's hair and said, "You *are* learning, little man, albeit slowly. Go have Trance check your eye."
Harper jerked his head away from Tyr's hand, "Why are people *always* doin' that to my hair? I HATE that." He pouted.
Tyr laughed as he slung a towel over his shoulder and sauntered toward the showers. "One hour." He called out as he rounded the corner.
***************
"Trance! Yoo-hoo, Traaaaance!" Harper called as he entered med bay. "Heeelllooooo! Anybody home?"
"I'm here Harper, you don't have to shout." Trance appeared from behind a console, wiping her purple hands on a rag.
"Sorry. Hey, whatcha doin'?"
"Oh, this scanner has been giving me trouble. At Dylan's check-up yesterday, it insisted that he was pregnant."
Harper doubled over with laughter, "Oh, man! I can just see the look on his face!" Harper pretended to be a serious diplomat, "I'm sorry Mr. Hunt but we cannot join the Commonwealth, our society believes that males should breast feed exclusively." Harper once again dissolved in to a fit of giggles.
"Harper, please, it's not THAT funny." Trance said hiding her own smirk.
Harper wiped tears of laughter from his eyes as he recovered his composure. "Whew! Heh, heh. What were we talking about? Oh, yeah, your scanner's busted. Why didn't you call me sooner? I woulda been here in a flash to help out my Sparkly Purple Babe."
"Well, you were really busy yesterday and today you were training with Tyr so I figured I'd try and fix it myself." Trance smiled innocently and swished her tail. Her face fell when Harper looked worried. "What? Did I do it wrong?"
"Trance, no offense, but remember the last time you tried to fix something?" Trance nodded and traced a line in the floor with her foot. "The toaster has never been the same, it won't even "talk" to Rommie anymore, and Tyr still blames you for his hair getting all singed." Harper reached into his tool belt and produced his trusty nano welder. "But have no fear Purple Princess, The Harper will save you!" He brandished the welder like a sword and "attacked" the console. "Take that! And That!"
Trance giggled at Harper's antics. Harper dove under the console and "attacked" it from underneath. "Harper," Trance began, "What are you doing here anyway? Like I said, I didn't call you."
"Nothin' much, mostly hiding out from Tyr. Man, that guy is freakin' obsessed with my fighting skills."
"He's just trying to help you, Harper." Trance admonished.
"Well, he's gonna help me right into my grave if he doesn't watch it, he nearly broke my jaw *and* my cheekbone today." Harper said from under the console, a hint of whine entering his voice.
"Maybe you should try harder." Trance suggested as she crouched beside the scanner to watch Harper work.
"Trance, I'm trying as hard as I can." Trance pressed her lips together and cocked her head, her brow furrowing. Harper looked up at her and sighed, "Ok, maybe I'm not but I already know how to fight." He glanced sideways at Trance who was still giving him *that* look. "I know how to fight *dirty*." He amended. "It's gotten me this far so why can't he just leave it alone?"
Trance gave Harper a sympathetic smile, "Maybe he's doing it because he cares about you and doesn't want you to get hurt again."
"Well, he's got an interestin' way of showin' it." Harper sneered. He admired his handiwork, "All done here!" He crawled out from the console and announced with a flourish, "Once again Harper rides to the rescue!" He twirled the welder deftly through his fingers, blew on the end and tucked it back into his tool belt. Unfortunately he was paying too much attention to showing off and not enough attention to the welder. He placed it upside down and ended up activating it. The welder burned through its pouch, sending a beam meant to cut steel straight at his boot.
"Owwwww! Ow! HOLY CRAP OW!" Harper grabbed his foot and hopped around medical.
Trance dove for the welder and managed to turn it off before it cut right through the deck plate. She blew a stray lock or hair off her forehead, sighed heavily and helped the bouncing Harper to a cot.
"Oh! My foot!" Harper lay back, still managing to keep a hand on his boot. He had his eyes shut tight. "I can't look. Trance, is it gone?"
Trance gingerly removed Harper's boot. It had a deep slash from where the welder had made contact. Once she had his boot and sock off she searched for a wound. Finally she found a tiny hairline scratch on the outside of his heel.
"Trance, I think I'm gonna faint...I see a tunnel, and a light...Grandma?"
Trance rolled her eyes and threw Harper's boot at him. "You will be fine but if you want we can have your boot buried at sea."
Harper cracked open one eye and studied Trance. He slowly sat up and warily took a look at his foot, it took him a moment but he found the injury. "Whew! Thought I was a goner, I mean, look at the size of that gash! I coulda bled to death! You saved me again darlin'" He leaned over and planted a sloppy wet kiss on her cheek.
Trance playfully slapped at his arm. Relieved that he wasn't hurt but not ready to forgive him for teasing her. "You'd better go change, you don't want to be late for your next lesson with Tyr."
Harper's shoulders slumped "Aw Trance, thanks for reminding me." He said sarcastically.
"You're welcome." Trance snickered as she literally skipped over to her newly repaired scanner.
Harper gathered his boot and his welder and headed for the door. On the way Trance heard him mutter, "I'm sure I can come up with *some* way to get outa this, I am a genius after all."
***********************
TBC
RATING: PG-13
SPOILERS: None so far
ARCHIVE: Yes, ask first though please
DISCLAIMER: I do not own ANDROMEDA or any of it's characters. They belong to the lucky folks at Tribune.
SUMMARY: This is in response to DataPort's Harper Owie challenge. The challenge was to hurt Harper ten times in one fic. I was REALLY bored today so I sat down and started pounding this out. It doesn't have much of a plot and is WIP but it should be pretty short Let me know what you think!
Oh, yeah, Trance is purple 'cause I wanted Rev to get in on the action
**************************
"Ow! Dammit!" Harper swore as he rubbed his jaw. "Tyr, do you have to hit so hard?"
"Stop whining, you're voice is reaching ultrasonic levels." Tyr grimaced and threw another punch in Harper's direction. He pulled it at the last possible moment, not really wanting to harm the other man but determined to get his point across.
"OW! Owowowow!" Harper danced around with his hand over his eye. "All right! I've had it! I don't wanna be your punching bag anymore. Let's just admit that I will never be any good at hand-to-hand combat." Harper winced as he gingerly palpated his cheekbone. "Aw, man! I think it's broke!"
"Let me see." Tyr sighed. He grabbed Harper's chin and roughly twisted it from side to side. Harper was gonna have one heck of a shiner but Tyr was certain nothing was broken. "If it will make you feel better, go have Trance check it out, then meet me back here in one hour."
"But...but..." Harper sputtered, "I'm wounded! Can't we call it a day?"
"Do you remember what happened the last time we engaged the Drago-Katsov?" Tyr asked as he pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. He couldn't believe they were having this conversation *again*.
"Yeah, yeah, I know this one, we got our asses kicked, barely escaped with our lives, yadda, yadda, yadda." Harper made talking motions with his hand and rolled his eyes. "I know Tyr, I was there, remember?"
"I have begun to question your memory, because as *my* memory serves, you got your "ass kicked" worst of all." Tyr began advancing on Harper, his finger jabbing at Harper's chest with each "you" "*You* spent three weeks on bed rest. *You* weren't able to repair the ship. *You* need to learn to defend yourself and until I am satisfied that you are no longer endangering my survival, we will continue these lessons." Tyr leaned in closer and whispered in Harper's ear, "Understood?"
Harper stumbled back, immediately on the defensive. "Yeah? Well...If *YOU* had done your job, mister tactical officer, we would never have been boarded in the first place!" Harper put on his "so there" face.
Tyr raised his arm, as if to backhand Harper. Instead he ruffled the younger man's hair and said, "You *are* learning, little man, albeit slowly. Go have Trance check your eye."
Harper jerked his head away from Tyr's hand, "Why are people *always* doin' that to my hair? I HATE that." He pouted.
Tyr laughed as he slung a towel over his shoulder and sauntered toward the showers. "One hour." He called out as he rounded the corner.
***************
"Trance! Yoo-hoo, Traaaaance!" Harper called as he entered med bay. "Heeelllooooo! Anybody home?"
"I'm here Harper, you don't have to shout." Trance appeared from behind a console, wiping her purple hands on a rag.
"Sorry. Hey, whatcha doin'?"
"Oh, this scanner has been giving me trouble. At Dylan's check-up yesterday, it insisted that he was pregnant."
Harper doubled over with laughter, "Oh, man! I can just see the look on his face!" Harper pretended to be a serious diplomat, "I'm sorry Mr. Hunt but we cannot join the Commonwealth, our society believes that males should breast feed exclusively." Harper once again dissolved in to a fit of giggles.
"Harper, please, it's not THAT funny." Trance said hiding her own smirk.
Harper wiped tears of laughter from his eyes as he recovered his composure. "Whew! Heh, heh. What were we talking about? Oh, yeah, your scanner's busted. Why didn't you call me sooner? I woulda been here in a flash to help out my Sparkly Purple Babe."
"Well, you were really busy yesterday and today you were training with Tyr so I figured I'd try and fix it myself." Trance smiled innocently and swished her tail. Her face fell when Harper looked worried. "What? Did I do it wrong?"
"Trance, no offense, but remember the last time you tried to fix something?" Trance nodded and traced a line in the floor with her foot. "The toaster has never been the same, it won't even "talk" to Rommie anymore, and Tyr still blames you for his hair getting all singed." Harper reached into his tool belt and produced his trusty nano welder. "But have no fear Purple Princess, The Harper will save you!" He brandished the welder like a sword and "attacked" the console. "Take that! And That!"
Trance giggled at Harper's antics. Harper dove under the console and "attacked" it from underneath. "Harper," Trance began, "What are you doing here anyway? Like I said, I didn't call you."
"Nothin' much, mostly hiding out from Tyr. Man, that guy is freakin' obsessed with my fighting skills."
"He's just trying to help you, Harper." Trance admonished.
"Well, he's gonna help me right into my grave if he doesn't watch it, he nearly broke my jaw *and* my cheekbone today." Harper said from under the console, a hint of whine entering his voice.
"Maybe you should try harder." Trance suggested as she crouched beside the scanner to watch Harper work.
"Trance, I'm trying as hard as I can." Trance pressed her lips together and cocked her head, her brow furrowing. Harper looked up at her and sighed, "Ok, maybe I'm not but I already know how to fight." He glanced sideways at Trance who was still giving him *that* look. "I know how to fight *dirty*." He amended. "It's gotten me this far so why can't he just leave it alone?"
Trance gave Harper a sympathetic smile, "Maybe he's doing it because he cares about you and doesn't want you to get hurt again."
"Well, he's got an interestin' way of showin' it." Harper sneered. He admired his handiwork, "All done here!" He crawled out from the console and announced with a flourish, "Once again Harper rides to the rescue!" He twirled the welder deftly through his fingers, blew on the end and tucked it back into his tool belt. Unfortunately he was paying too much attention to showing off and not enough attention to the welder. He placed it upside down and ended up activating it. The welder burned through its pouch, sending a beam meant to cut steel straight at his boot.
"Owwwww! Ow! HOLY CRAP OW!" Harper grabbed his foot and hopped around medical.
Trance dove for the welder and managed to turn it off before it cut right through the deck plate. She blew a stray lock or hair off her forehead, sighed heavily and helped the bouncing Harper to a cot.
"Oh! My foot!" Harper lay back, still managing to keep a hand on his boot. He had his eyes shut tight. "I can't look. Trance, is it gone?"
Trance gingerly removed Harper's boot. It had a deep slash from where the welder had made contact. Once she had his boot and sock off she searched for a wound. Finally she found a tiny hairline scratch on the outside of his heel.
"Trance, I think I'm gonna faint...I see a tunnel, and a light...Grandma?"
Trance rolled her eyes and threw Harper's boot at him. "You will be fine but if you want we can have your boot buried at sea."
Harper cracked open one eye and studied Trance. He slowly sat up and warily took a look at his foot, it took him a moment but he found the injury. "Whew! Thought I was a goner, I mean, look at the size of that gash! I coulda bled to death! You saved me again darlin'" He leaned over and planted a sloppy wet kiss on her cheek.
Trance playfully slapped at his arm. Relieved that he wasn't hurt but not ready to forgive him for teasing her. "You'd better go change, you don't want to be late for your next lesson with Tyr."
Harper's shoulders slumped "Aw Trance, thanks for reminding me." He said sarcastically.
"You're welcome." Trance snickered as she literally skipped over to her newly repaired scanner.
Harper gathered his boot and his welder and headed for the door. On the way Trance heard him mutter, "I'm sure I can come up with *some* way to get outa this, I am a genius after all."
***********************
TBC