THIS IS A NON PROFIT FAN BASED NOVEL NAMES ARE ALL A FICTION OF WORK

FIXIN STUFF

CH.1 Bang

Bang!"Holy fucking tap dancing monkey balls!" I thought. looking around I saw nothing but what appeared to be an orchard. "Jesus stretch", I thought, "I told you there would be snipers but noooooooooo put the short fuck in the turret cuz your boot sergeant wanted to take charge and be VC". Cuz of this I had to stack a bunch of MRE boxes and other shit to make a "me" sized gunners stand cuz I was waiting on new parts to replace the old one...wait how did I get thrown out of the bump truck anyway? Did we get hit with an IED too? Damn now I know why gunny told me to sit this convoy out. Old bastard was right for a change...I guess. Flashing back I remembered loading up my tool boxes and spare parts for a 40 Vic convoy and him offering to send my Lance who had gotten a concussion a few weeks earlier but just got the thumbs up from the docs on Leatherneck he'd be good to go. When it was his third one and all it took to knock his ass out was a gnat to land on his head. So of course I said "No guns I got this, I'll be fine". And in truth aside from being numb I was A-ok, still breathing and my vision was even starting to come into focus. Oh well I guess I'll try to piece together the rest of that fun-filled convoy. Hmmmmm well LT boottastic had a long-winded, drawn out, anal evacuation of a brief so that seemed pretty normal so far. Stretch was mounting the 240 and I was about to ask him who our gunner was going to be when out of nowhere SGT goddamn Smith popped right the fuck out of nowhere scaring the shit AND piss out of me. Ever since he picked up he thought he was gods gift to the corps, when in reality he was a kissass clerk that wanted to get a CAR so he could show off to the OTHER officefucks. "So", he said smiling "Cpl V hows life, you ready to fix some shit?", being polite i responded "Fuck off Smith im always ready to fix ur fuckups". "Well that's me for ya just a bundle of happy, rainbow sunshine", I thought. Of course SGT Smith didn't take it to well," Fuck you V I cant wait to see ur little ass stuck up in the turret sweating your balls off with any luck we'll get hit hard enough to throw your smart ass outta the damn turret". "The fuck you mean im in the turret?"I said. Smith chuckled,"Lemme guess you zoned out again during the ma'am's brief?" I didn't say anything since my shitty poker face told him all he needed to know."Damn sucks for you dude, yeah you're the gunner this time around and I'll be VC"."Your a real asshat you know that SGT?" I said, he shrugged "Meh ill live". So yeah Afghanistan,Helmand province in the Sangin area a week after the grunts made the push in the city not the place to be rolling around in big moving targets with ur head sticking out.
But back to the situation at hand, I tried to move my hands but I got nothing but a shot of pain down my back the same with my feet and legs,"Great I guess I'm paralyzed" I thought. But now that I thought about it my eyes were almost back to normal and i could start to move my head. Doing so i saw that my Kevlar had come undone and there was a nice good god look at that sized hole on the back which had me assume that the front probably had the entry for the round. "Okay," I thought,"That explains the bang I guess, now lets see if I can pull some Kill Bill shit and get my piggies, or anything for that matter moving.
I guessed an hour went by before I was able to get my legs to start moving, still couldn't control my head but I assumed I still had all my limbs otherwise I'd be dead by now...Oh and also I might not be paralysed so yay! Been trying to yell for a doc but the best I got was probably the quietest church mouse whisper I'd ever heard. Another hour rolled by and let me just say WTFJCD! (Thats what the fucking jesus christ dude, for all you fucks reading this.) I was finally able to move my head and lemme say WTFJCD once more. I...Have...A...Little...HORSE BODY. Naturally after realizing this I did what any sane man would do, I threw up and blacked out.

SO WHAT DID YA THINK SO FAR?! GOT BORED WHILE TRAINING SO I THOUGHT WHAT THE HELL MLP FANFIC :)
DONT WORRY IT GETS BETTER(HOPEFULLY)