A/N: First we saw Jenny and then Lanie, who could be next?
Kate hugged the toilet bowl as Castle held her hair back for her, whispering comforting nonsense to himself to try and get over the fact that his wife was currently throwing up last night's gnocchi as well as every other meal she'd ever eaten.
"You've smelled worse, you've smelled worse," he said to himself, over and over again.
"Are you alright, dears?" Called Martha as she passed the bathroom, cringing as the stench hit her.
"Yes-" Castle paused to gag, "Mother, we're good," he gagged again.
"If you're sure dear! I'll pick up some air freshener while I'm out." The old woman laughed to herself, whispering "still got it" as she closed the door.
Castle forehead had begun to glaze over with a sheet of sweat as he himself because a little woozy. The smell of Kate's last three meals regurgitated infused with the crisp aroma of burning pancakes had him feeling light headed. Beckett, however, felt like death warmed up.
"I-I, I think I'm-" Kate now paused to gag before recollecting herself, "I think I'm good now Rick, you can let go of my hair."
Rick's face blossomed relief as he dropped his wife's hair and ran to the kitchen to save his pancakes. Kate was left sitting on the cool bathroom floor that comforted her burning skin and looked downat a gross stain on her white dressing gown and sighed. Luckily it was one that she'd "accidentally" taken home from the hotel they stayed in for their honeymoon.
The detective's phone rang from the sitting room and as she struggled to pick her trembling body up from the bathroom floor she heard her husband shout "I got it!" and run to answer it.
She tucked her loose hairs behind her ears and pulled herself up, flushed the toilet and looked in the mirror. Her usually glowing skin now held a peculiar green tint and her bright eyes were now sunken in. To be frank, Richard Castle's wife looked like shit and she knew it.
Kate sighed and proceeded to rinse her mouth out and brush her teeth. She'd rather not go back and kiss her husband with a gross mouth. As she brushed aimlessly, she remembered the emergency packet of pregnancy tests in the cabinet. Considering it was the morning and she was sick, a typical indicator of a recently pregnant woman, she thought it would be a good idea to rule out some options.
As the detective peed on the stick and waited for the pink plus to appear, she realised that the pee stick she held in her hands was the thin line between her leaving Jimmy's a bad review for the poisonous gnocchi or whether her and her husband would be having their first child.
There was still a minute left of waiting when Rick entered the bedroom to see if she was ready for her first day back at work.
"Now, Detective Castle, I must say that this morning was a rather unpleasant experience for the both of us and I would suggest with both take the day off but if you do really wanna go in, we still can."
Rick took pride in referring to Detective Beckett as Detective Castle now that the couple were married. He thought the title suited her well and has told her at least 47 times that the name suits her nearly as well as her wedding pantsuit did.
Kate glanced at the pregnancy test and threw it into the trash when she saw that there was no exciting news for them. To make up for it, she told her husband that he could write the review of Jimmy's, detailing his experience with his wife's food poisoning.
As the doors of the elevator opened, Ryan and Esposito jumped out to welcome the couple back to the precinct. Kate could tell something was different but couldn't quite put her finger on it.
Captain Gates came out of her office to congratulate Kate on her wedding and honeymoon and wish the couple well.
"Unfortunately, I can't stay for the celebrations but I heard Perlmutter baked an excellent cake."
Kate and Rick looked at each other, confused. Perlmutter, as in Sidney Perlmutter, the man who eats his lunch in the morgue, baked a cake.
"Kate! How long was our honeymoon? Is this another parallel universe? Oh god, am I dreaming?!"
"Calm down Rick, I'm sure Perlmutter is just being... nice."
The couple walked to Kate's desk and finally Kate noticed what was different. Her desk no longer said Detective Beckett but instead, Detective Kate Castle.
Rick smirked, proud of his secret gift to Kate, as he watched her eyes light up and her skin look a little less of sickly green colour.
"I'm gonna go grab some coffee, be back in a sec," said Rick quickly; he was desperate to get away from Kate and her paperwork. It was a slow first day back.
Rick sauntered into the break room where not only did he find Perlmutter's cake (which was a beautiful, moist red velvet cake which the most decadent white chocolate cream cheese frosting) but he found Perlmutter looking a little different.
The writer's jaw dropped so far down that he was surprised that it didn't unhinge. He was lost for words and staring at the ME for a long, long time, before his trance was broken by Kate entering the break room to see what was taking him so long.
Kate's entrance snapped Castle out of his trance but he dropped the mug he was holding and it shattered on the break room floor.
"You okay, Castle? What's taking so lon- holy shiitake mushrooms."
The detective had laid her eyes upon Sidney Perlmutter's bulging torso and her gaze fell down to his swollen ankles and back up to the glowing radiance of his face.
The couple were shocked beyond belief but Perlmutter just chuckled and broke off the corner of his slice of cake and popped it into his mouth.
"This is really good, if I must say so myself. I've been practising my baking for when this little girl or boy comes," he said, cooing at his stomach as he finished his sentence.
"Sorry, what?" Mr and Mrs Castle said in unison.
"How long were we gone?" Rick hissed to his wife.
"What do you mean how long were we gone? Are you sure you didn't touch that thing again?" Kate hissed back at her husband.
Perlmutter laughed to himself some more, rubbing his stomach and then suddenly gasping.
"Oh, the little thing just kicked. Do you want to feel?"
Perlmutter definitely had not lost his creepy edge. As if there was anything creepier than a greying ME who eats lunch in his morgue, it was a greying ME who eats lunch in his morgue and was with child.
"Actually, I kinda do," Rick whispered to Kate. His wife playfully punched him in the arm as he burst into a fit of giggles over his own joke.
"We better be... going" said Kate, very wary of her co-worker and she dragged her husband out of the break room.
Kate popped her head round the door of the break room just to thank Perlmutter for the cake and grab two pre-cut slices for her and her husband.
"So, what are your crazy theories about his one huh, Castle?"
"Well, either Perlmutter was abducted by aliens and impregnated by them to carry the child that will combine our species," the writer said with his mouth full of cake, "or he was previously a woman."
"If he was, the doctor did a damn good job, huh. And who would have thought Perlmutter would pregnant before I would?"
Kate's brow furrowed, thinking about her failed pregnancy test this morning. Rick grabbed her hand and caressed her thumb with his.
"Soon, Kate, soon."
It got to around lunch when Kate sent her husband home, telling him she would call when if there was a case.
Back at the loft, Rick climbed the stairs two at a time, desperate for a pee. He began to unzip his flies when he noticed Kate's discarded pregnancy test in the trash. He didn't really want to touch it but reached over to turn it over see it's result. Rick caught a glimpse of the pink plus on the little screen in the middle of the stick and dropped it back in the trash can. He smiled to himself before remembering that he really needed to pee.
A/N 2: Yes this was ridiculous and honestly that's what makes this great. I made my life so hard reading this over 16 hours later. I wrote most of this right after watching last night's episode. (OMG! WASN'T IT GREAT?) so, for those of you still recovering from all the feels, here's some comic relief.