Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, sadly enough. -Cries.- But maybe if I'm rich someday I will. Heh.
Don't Ever Forget
By: Valaina Surion (Vikki)
You will always be the one.
And you should know
How I wish I could never let you go.
Come into my life again,
Oh, don't say no.
You will always be the one in my life,
So true, I believe I can never find
Somebody like you...
My first love.
-Utada Hikaru 'My First Love'
A fourteen-year-old girl stood in knee-deep water. Short, auburn bangs tickled at her nose, but she ignored that. A bare foot traced nervously in circles under the water, leaving faint lines where she had drawn. Her hands were interlocked behind her back as her fingers fidgeted from her anxiety. Edges of a purple skirt tickled lightly across the water surface, sending ripples across the surprisingly calm, cerulean blue surface. Her head was tilted back; large, lavender eyes scanned the sky for any sign of...
"Kai..." Came the soft voice of a girl. "What are you doing?" Her head dropped. Her hands untangled and drooped at her side, fingertips dancing across the water surface.
"I don't know. I keep feeling that someone should be coming back... but..." The auburn-haired girl sighed. Shaking her head, she turned around and walked past the younger girl.
"Something doesn't feel right. I feel like I should remember something—I keep seeing some boys in my mind... but I don't know who they are."
The younger girl raised an eyebrow. "Let's go inside. You're acting weird now, Kairi. Maybe you're just feeling sick. Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
Once again, the auburn-haired girl raised her eyes to look at the sky. In reply to her questioning glance, she only saw white clouds and never-ending blue, looking even longer and bigger than the ocean itself. She let out another sigh. What was she waiting for? Who was she waiting to fall from the heavens? Why was the sky suddenly so intriguing? Could it possibly have something to do with the boys she kept seeing?
"Come on, Kairi. Let's go get some juice. Maybe that'll help." Reluctantly, the girl went along, knowing it wouldn't help.
As she followed, the words of a promise replayed constantly in her memory. 'I'll come back to you, I promise!' And somehow, they gave her hope, even though she didn't know what they meant, they suddenly warmed her heart.
Kairi inhaled a long, deep breath, her lungs filling with ocean and salt-tainted air. A soft breeze brushed away shoulder-long strands of auburn hair. The fifteen-year-old allowed a weak smile to cross her lips as she stared out across the ocean. It was a nice day out, as opposed to yesterday, when it had been raining. All signs of the storm had evaporated, and the island was once again bright and warm, as she was used to it being.
"Kai! Kai, come duel with us, will you? We need one more person!" The voice of Tidus wafted over her thoughts, and Kairi twisted around.
"Maybe later!" She called. "I'm feeling too tired for battling right now."
"What're you looking for, Kairi?" Selphie interrupted, eyes widening slightly in interest and curiosity. "You're always standing out there, looking for something. But you've never told us what you're looking for. Are you waiting for something to just drop out of the sky or something?"
"I—"
What was she looking for? Kairi frowned. Indeed, it was true that every morning she would stand in the water and just gaze into the sky. As though if she stared at it long enough—willed, wished, prayed long enough—that perhaps the answer to all of her questions and worries would just fall from it. But she didn't know what made her think this way. The answer was on the tip of her tongue...
"No one cares, Selphie," Tidus said, rolling his eyes at her. "Kairi, wanna duel or not?"
"I don't feel like dueling." Kairi repeated herself. "I think I may just be too tired, is all..."
The trio shrugged in unison, turned away from her, and would trail off in search of a better spot to battle. "You've been acting weird lately, Kairi. Are you sure you're okay?" Selphie called back, twisting her body around and beginning to walk backwards.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Are you sure you're okay?" Kairi called back, smiling.
Selphie stopped, and rolled her eyes. "I'll catch up later," She said to the two boys, and quickly jogged over to Kairi. She flashed a grin. "You've just been acting so weird lately. Like, it's as if you've changed. Have you changed, Kai?"
"I..."
The fire licked at their skin hungrily, giving them an orange tint. Trees hunched over them, as though begging for a chance to feel the warm rays of the fire. No music played; the wind whistling in the background provided enough music for the two teenagers. The rhythm was understood and acknowledged by the two of them, and they did not dare disturb the tranquility of the moment. Specks of sand glowed from the light of the fire, their true black, white, and tan colors hidden beneath an orange glow. Seagulls seemed to sing with the music of the wind, and cried out their own lyrics to the song. Waves crashed only feet away from where the fire was, and was rushing over their outstretched legs, but they didn't bother to try to move the fire. They liked where they were.
The girl yawned, and ran a hand through her short auburn hair. It was getting late, but she didn't want to spoil the night by moving. Where they were now—the very moment they were living in, the seconds that were passing—she didn't want to disturb it. It made her feel at home, as though this was truly where she belonged. And a feeling of belonging had recently become harder for her to find than it had once been...
A hand passed over hers. She looked up, and found herself staring into the large, bright blue orbs of her friend Sora. His eyes were an amazing blue. Every time she looked into them, she could almost see the ocean staring back at her. His eyes were clear as the ocean, and gave off a welcoming look. "Happy thirteenth birthday." He said, and moved his hand away. Kairi frowned, but then looked down at her hand. A bracelet. It was decorated with shells, all tied into a beautiful pattern on the string. Purple, blue, and turquoise rocks gleamed back at her.
"It's so beautiful, Sora..." She whispered, fiddling with it. She finally tied it around her wrist. Grinning, she looked over at her friend. Sora smirked back. "Like it, Kairi?" He asked timidly.
"I'm wordless." Kairi said, smiling brightly. "Reminds me of the time you finally beat Riku on the race course—all of us were speechless after that happened, of course." She grinned playfully at Sora and punched him lightly on the arm. Sora rolled his eyes at her and stood up.
"It wasn't a miracle I beat him that day, Kairi! I kicked his butt every time after that all summer, remember?" Sora grinned proudly. "Luck? I don't need luck, Kairi. I'm the strongest one on the island! That shouldn't surprise anyone."
"Apparently, it should, seeing as Riku almost always beat you on that race course before you finally managed to beat him." Kairi giggled. Sora knew she was only joking, of course. He shook his head at her, and dropped to her side once again.
Sora began to flex his arms jokingly, going off on some babble of being a muscle man when he was older. She rolled her eyes at him, explaining that his ego was about as out of control as his hair was beginning to get. He replied with a gawk—before going back to his flexing. "Oh, come on, you've got to be proud of me, Kairi!" He pleaded, finally. "Look at these muscles—"Another flex—"You've got to like what you see!"
Kairi grinned and whapped him on the shoulder. "Like what I see? I like seeing that you've got some dirt on your cheek and that you have absolutely no muscle, Sora." They laughed at her words, and Sora then began a speech.
But she didn't hear a thing. All she could see was him, standing before her; she felt butterflies in her stomach at the sight of him. Why was she feeling that? She understood why, but he was her friend... how could she care for him more than a friend? But Kairi continued to smile, continued to laugh, and continued to fake that she only saw him as a friend, not someone she could ever possibly /I love I .
Kairi, however, knew what words were really lurking on her mind, what words she kept locked in her heart as a deep secret, which she knew she would never reveal: Like what I see? No... I love who I see a lot more than what I see...
But she would never reveal these words to him.
Kairi blinked her eyes; what had she just seen? That boy had seemed oddly familiar, but at the same time, she was so sure she had never met a boy who looked remotely close to what the boy in that scene had looked like. Kairi shook her head, and cleared her eyes to find that Selphie was waving a hand in front of her face. Baring a worried look, Selphie stepped back when she saw Kairi acknowledge her.
"What's wrong with you? Did you even hear what I said?" Selphie asked, taking another step away from Kairi.
"I—no, no, what'd you say? I just spaced out for a moment." Kairi planted a fake smile across her face, hoping to fool her younger friend. Apparently, it didn't work, as Selphie's look of concern did not change.
"Are you sure you're okay? You've changed a lot since last year... And Tidus, Wakka, and I are really worried about you. Is everything okay?" The girl stood still, staring up at Kairi. A look of true concern was in her eyes, and suddenly, Kairi couldn't help but feel as though someone had given her a look like that before. Someone...
Sora. Riku.
Where had those names come from? Kairi was sure she hadn't heard them ever before. There were few people on this island, and she was certain that no one named Sora or Riku had ever lived here. Perhaps her name had just jumbled some letters together and given her names? Kairi quickly pushed the matter aside, and fought to focus herself on Selphie and what she was saying instead of the vision she had encountered just seconds ago.
"I..." Kairi paused. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me, Selphie," She smiled as reassuringly as she could.
"Are you—"
"Really! Really, I'm just fine, Selphie, don't worry." Kairi flashed another fake smile. "Now, go off for Tidus and Wakka, they must be waiting for you."
"You sure?" Selphie asked.
"I am! Go!" Kairi grinned and pushed Selphie off. Eventually, though reluctantly, the girl gave in and went to join her two friends. Sighing softly and rather happily at the idea of being alone again, Kairi retreated to the waters edge.
Carefully, she slipped her feet out of her clogs and nudged them aside. Mom had yelled at her countless times over ruining her shoes by getting them wet. She smiled at the memories. Slowly, she treaded into the water; the coolness felt great against her sun-kissed skin, and the salt mixed with fresh, warm air was tranquil. It brought back many memories for her, too...
Though the salt air mixed with ocean created a pleasing scent; the girl could not get it out of her thoughts that the boy sitting beside her had an even more pleasant aroma. Kicking her legs back and forth, sitting on her hands, biting on her lower lip, she pondered over the boy who sat beside her. Sora was staring into the horizon like it wasn't a surprising or miraculous event. Kairi knew that Sora had grown up seeing this every day, but to her, every new sunset was just as astounding as the next...
Before them, far away, miles and miles and miles away, the sun was setting. It touched the ocean, as though being engulfed by it. All around it, the sun bled in orange, purple, and pink, creating one of the most beautiful scenes she had ever seen. Large, thick clouds that could not escape the color shimmered with orange at the edges, making them look as though they glowed. It was an exciting scene, and the adrenaline in her blood seemed to pump faster not only from the scene, but also by the excitement of what would happen tomorrow and who she was sharing this moment with.
Her legs kicked back and forth over the edge of the dock, fighting to get the energy out of her. Tomorrow would be wonderful. Riku, Sora, and her... the three of them would travel the world, only them. The world would be theirs to adventure. No longer would they spend their lives on Destiny Islands, but instead they would spend their lives everywhere. A smile crossed her face. Looking over at Sora, she felt her smile grow bigger. She must have looked weird, but she didn't care.
"You know, Riku has changed..." She whispered, turning back to look towards the sunset. Riku was different, indeed. He seemed a lot more serious now, as though his birthday had changed him into a man, leaving behind Sora as a little boy and turning Kairi into a young adolescent girl to be watched after. She was worried about him.
"What do you mean?" Sora asked, frowning at her. The sound of his voice filled her with happiness—how could someone's voice ever do that to a person? No one usually felt so wonderful just by hearing someone's voice...
"Well..." What had she meant? Questioning her words had suddenly robbed Kairi of her answer; she shook her head and stared down into the water. What had she meant? She pondered this for a moment, and knew that just what it meant: she wanted to go with Sora, only Sora. Riku was her friend, but Sora felt like so much more—wait—
"You okay?" He asked, tilting his head. Kairi didn't bother looking up to see that his eyes were filled with worry. Her stomach fluttered; he was worried about her. Did he really care about how she was doing? She blinked to clear her thoughts; was she acting crazy over Sora just being polite?
Before she could gain hold of herself and stop herself, Kairi blurted out, "Sora, let's take the raft and go—just the two of us!" She giggled, and for a moment, she felt a yearning deep down in her heart to do just this. But Sora was too close to Riku to ever think about leaving without Riku—after all, hadn't the raft been Riku's idea?
"Huh?" Sora gasped, his eyes wide and full of shock. Kairi giggled once more; she didn't dare voice that she truly wanted to leave with him and only him. Sora wouldn't do it. His heart was too good, even if his competition with Riku was fierce.
"Just kidding." Kairi smiled, grinning over at Sora. Her performance was on, and she was a good actress, especially with such a realistic mask...
"What's gotten into you? You're the one that's changed Kairi..." Sora accused her, but a chuckle lingered behind his words. Inside, she felt another flutter just to hear him chuckle. It hurt so much, to feel too much fear to tell him what she was feeling.
"Maybe..." She whispered, in reply to his question. But quickly, she disguised it and added, "You know, I was a little afraid at first, but now I'm ready. No matter where I go or what I see, I know I can always come back here. Right?" Or would she even want to come back?
"Yeah, of course!" Sora chirped.
"That's good... Sora, don't ever change."
Those words ached inside of her heart as she looked up at him. She stared into his eyes, and felt such a pain. She ached to see him smile, to hear his foolish chuckles, to hold on to him when he was sad or scared or—
"Huh?"
She smiled and turned to look back at the horizon. Why was she torturing herself? Any day she wanted, she could tell him how she felt. Tomorrow, in a month, in ten years; all the way, they'd be together. Sora, Riku, and her. They were an inseparable trio, and would always be together.
Inside, she felt a doubt nagging at her, though. What if he wasn't there tomorrow? What if he disappeared without knowing how she felt? What if...
"I just can't wait... once we set sail, it'll be great."
Kairi bit her lip. Tell him. Tell him, tell him, TELL HIM! She sighed, and stood up. Sora would not know today. For another day, she would walk away from the applauding crowd, her mask still clinging to her face. Another day, she would leave him behind, clueless as to how she felt...
She stared at the sky. The sun was gone, swallowed up by the never-ending navy blue sky and ocean. A white reflection off the ocean proved that the moon was alive once again, and that Kairi had been asleep on the shore for quite a few hours. She yawned, and stood up. What had she dreamt of? Had she ever met a boy named Sora... known a boy named Riku? The names hit some bell in her memory, but the bell was too faint to bring back any memory of when she had actually heard the names. Running a hand through her hair, Kairi stood up.
Her clogs were soaked. It seemed the tide had finally reached them. What confused her was that she wasn't soaked in the least. Perfectly dry, in fact. When had she fallen asleep? She could only remember standing in the water, and then the vision of that girl and boy... otherwise, she didn't remember coming to fall asleep on the shore. She sighed and kicked her clogs away from the ocean tide, out of the reach.
Mother would scream at her for the clogs... again. Sighing, Kairi retreated into the waters, wanting a few more moments of peace. The water was surprisingly warm against her skin, and she was tempted to fully dive in and take a nice swim. But she didn't have a suit with her, and swimming in a skirt and tank top made the invite seem not so inviting... She treaded out to knee-deep water, and then paused, allowing her hands to fall at her sides. Her fingertips skimmed the surface of the water; her eyes studied the ripples it caused, and she smiled.
Kairi pondered on the vision she had witnessed. Who were the people from that memory? She didn't know who they were... What happened to them, then? Did the girl ever admit her love for the boy inches away from her? Or did she forever suffer with the secret... why did Kairi even care about the vision? What was wrong with her, and why was she seeing things that clearly weren't her own memories?
She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply. Something was wrong with her. She didn't have to guess just by the visions she was getting—she had been acting weird lately. Always searching for something in the sky, and when asked what she was looking for, she was unable able to provide an answer. She would sometimes begin to talk of some boy named Sora and Riku, and a trip they planned to take—and then skip off the subject and back onto what she had originally begun talking about, as if what she mentioned never happened. Something was wrong with her.
And she felt it, too. She felt the empty hole in her heart. A hole that suggested something was missing—from her life, and she guessed, from her memories, as well.
"I want to remember," She whispered, holding her head in her hands. She stared through spaces between her fingers into the ocean, watching fish dart around her legs, nipping at them in search of food.
Sora used to do that a lot—swim around beneath the water, come from behind, grab her legs, and pull her under. She chuckled. Sora hadn't done that in a long time—
What was she thinking? Sora? Who was Sora?! She let out an aggravated cry, turned around, and raced from the water. What was happening to her? Who was Sora and Riku? Why was she thinking of things that she had never heard of before? Whose memories were lingering in the back of her brain? Were they...
Her own memories?
You brought me back.
I didn't just want to forget about you, Sora. I couldn't.
That's it! Our hearts are connected. And the light from our hearts broke the darkness. I saw that light. I think that's what saved me. No matter how deep the darkness, a light shines within. I guess it's more than just a fairytale...
Well, let's go.
You can't go.
Why not?
Because. It's way too dangerous...
Come on Sora. We made it this far by sticking together. You can't go alone.
Kairi, even if we're apart, we're not alone anymore. Right?
I can't help?
You'd kind of be in my way...
Okay, you win. Take this. It's my lucky charm. Be sure to bring it back to me.
Don't worry, I will.
Promise?
Promise.
Don't ever forget. Wherever you go, I'm always with you.
Sora? Sora... he had such a beautiful smile. It warmed every fiber of her being, just remembering his smile. His eyes were deeper and bluer than the ocean itself, giving off rays of warmth; the way he used to stare at her when she wasn't looking always made her melt on the inside. His long, brown hair that defied all laws of gravity by managing to stick up in every direction, always something that was easy to make fun of in conversations. Kairi took in a deep breath, memories of Sora slowly flooding back: the way he pouted when angry or jealous; his soft, musical chuckle; the warmth of his hands when he locked his fingers through her own, sewing a bond between the two of them; the way he would sneak up behind her and close his hands over her eyes and whisper something pleasing into her ear...
Within the seconds it came back, it seemed to be gone. Kairi paused, her eyes wide. What had she just discovered? Why was she remembering memories of a boy she was so sure she had never seen before? How did she know about the way one side of his mouth lifted higher than the other when he smiled? How did she know that every night he would peer into her window just to whisper the words "night, Kai"?
And how could she possibly be madly in love with some boy she had only encountered in distant, unknown memories?
Kairi looked around herself. It was still night. Except now, the water trailed up to her waist, soaking the bottom of her skirt. She backed up, surprising a family of fish that had become accustomed to the new, stiff pillar in their midst. Running out of the water, Kairi grabbed her clogs and ran to her home. Running, running, running...
What was she running from?
Curling up beneath her covers, Kairi closed her eyes tightly, willing for sleep to overwhelm her and finally clutch onto her, pull her into a never-ending, dreamless state, and to never let go of her.
She wanted to escape from the memories. They couldn't be her own, could they? If they were, what happened to... Sora? That was his name. And Riku? What happened to them? Where had they gone? And why, if they were gone, did she always look to the sky for the answer to the mystery? It would be foolish to expect them to simply fall from the stars... why would anyone think that possible? Or...
Was she, perhaps, waiting to see something else?
Sighing, Kairi snuggled ever farther under her covers. She shut all light from her eyes, and focused on sleep. Slowly, finally, she found her eyes drooping, and soon...
Where was she going? Home? No! Not without Sora! She wouldn't leave without Sora. She couldn't. As home formed around her, she felt like screaming out. Sora wasn't here yet—wasn't he coming home, too? Weren't they all supposed to go home? Or was there something more, perhaps a secret behind Sora that kept him from returning with her?
"Kairi!" Someone yelled. She whipped around, and found Sora. He was inches away from her, kept away by a mere crack of light that created a boundary for the darkness where Sora stood.
"Sora!" She cried, reaching out her hands. Sora grabbed on to her. The warmth at the end of his fingers radiated into her, filling up her holes and weaknesses, taking way her worries and fears. She wanted to reach out, wrap her arms around him, and take him with her. She couldn't leave him behind, not after all they had been through...
She stared into his eyes. Seeing his fear, his qualms, she wanted to reach over and kiss them away. He shouldn't have to worry. They were safe now, weren't they? Or were they? Kairi squeezed his hands tighter, sending him a silent message that she was with him. She would not let go; she wouldn't let him leave without letting him know that she would always be with him, wherever he went.
A tremor shook them. Another tremor, and another, and soon Kairi was sure she may collapse from the shaking. Sora held even more tightly on to her hands, his eyes widening and looking up into hers. Kairi felt her own widen back, and suddenly, she knew what would happen. No, no, no, it couldn't... she felt tears come to her eyes, and she wanted to cry out.
"Kairi!" Sora said, staring deep into her eyes. "Remember what you said before? I'm always with you too!" He smiled at her, trying to raise a smile across hers as well.
She smiled weakly. Don't let go, don't let go, don't let go....
"I'll come back to you! I promise!"
In an instant, her heart broke in two. No, she wanted to yell! He couldn't leave her! She hadn't told him how she felt! She couldn't let him leave without telling him how she felt about him, how much she loved him and needed him and cared for him—
His eyes stared into hers, waiting for an answer. They had seconds left together. Maybe less. She couldn't tell him how she felt, but... she could tell him that she believed in him, trusted him, and knew he would not break her promise. He wouldn't leave her behind, wouldn't leave her alone. She smiled.
"I know you will!" Kairi cried, squeezing his hands one last time.
They were too far apart, and their connection—their hands holding the others--broke apart. Fingers brushing past each other one last time, in a last goodbye, she whimpered as their bond was broken. Within seconds, they were miles apart, Sora so far that she felt her heart become incomplete again. Tears streamed down her face as her hand slowly lowered, her eyes adjusting to the world that formed around her.
Sora smiled at her, waving one last time. She smiled weakly, but knew that he couldn't see it. She didn't wave—Sora disappeared too fast for him to possibly be able to see. All around her, trees came to life, sand formed, water appeared... she was home. Home at last, after so long spent away, lifeless...
But now, she didn't feel like she belonged here.
"Wake up, Kairi, wake up!" Selphie cried, shaking Kairi.
She shouldn't have bothered. Kairi was already wide-awake; her eyes were wide open with realization and remembrance.
"Follow me, Kai, you have to see this! You simply have to!"
Take care of her.
Within moments, Kairi stood outside. Selphie clung onto her arm, and was shaking her all the more. She didn't bother pushing the excited girl off her arm, as she was feeling too shocked to bother doing that. Everything was numb; her legs had only worked because Selphie had steered her along.
You know what's funny? I looked everywhere for you, but you were with me all along. Finally, we're together Kairi...
"Look, look up, Kairi! Isn't it amazing? I mean, I've never seen anything like this before. Half of the stars just started blinking out..."
Sora, is that you...?
"...and a quarter of the rest seem to just be shooting stars! Isn't that so beautiful? This must be like a miracle. It's so romantic!"
Kairi half-smiled. Everything was coming back to her. All of it. She remembered it all too well. Understanding the sign, she stepped back. Her arms drifted behind her back and her fingers locked around each other, hands folded together. Tipping back and forth on the heel of her clogs, she grinned. Selphie looked at her and grinned as well.
"You seem normal again, Kairi." She said. "Earlier you were totally zoned out. What was up with you earlier?"
"Oh, nothing, I was just a bit tired, is all... I was having a rough time remembering some important stuff..." Kairi replied, tilting her head slightly.
Kairi... Kairi's inside me?
A half-smile toyed upon her lips. "But that doesn't mean I haven't changed."
This time, I'll protect you.
Kairi kicked off her clogs, a familiar thing of her to do nowadays. She treaded into the water, ignoring the coolness of the water. Fish were zooming through the peaceful waters, as though the stars also hyped them up. Taking in a deep breath, Kairi looked toward the sky. Sora. Riku. They were coming back to her.
He hadn't broken his promise. But she knew he wouldn't. In response to this, she whispered four words...
"This time, I'll fight."
Hold me,
Whatever lies beyond this morning
Is a little later on.
Regardless of warnings,
The future doesn't scare me at all.
Nothing's like before.
Like it? I personally do. But I dunno about the people who'll read this. It's long, surprisingly enough. Heehee. Well, I love Kingdom Hearts, and Kairi is just so fun to write about! My other KH oneshot ended like this, but, yeah... The stars blinking out and flying around like crazy sounds like a correct way to show that Sora will be returning to Kairi soon enough. I like it. Anyway, review, please! I want to know what my readers thought! Ta!
