Dobby For President
"Dobby get you ass over here!", shouted Snape from across the dungeon. "Hufflepuff just had potions, they got frog spleens all over the walls. You will be cleaning it up, and you had better do a decent job of it for a change!"
"Yes sir!" said Dobby cheerfully, "Dobby is a good house elf, Dobby shall do as master says".
"Work in silence elf" sneered snape. The work took hours, Dobby worked dilegently the whole time taking in snapes constant insults. "I have finished the work professor" called Dobby when he had finished. Snape looked up from his desk and sent Dobby away with a wave of his hand "go, and don't interrupt me again."
It was Tuesday, that meant it was Dobby's day to clean Gryffindor common room. Dobby was already late, so he hurried along. The room was usually deserted but Dobby spotted three people sitting in front of a roaring fire.
"Dobby", called Harry, "over here". Obediently Dobby walked over. Ron and Hermione were sitting beside Harry. Hermione had a box in her lap, filled with little badges bearing the letters S.P.E.W.
"So what have you been up to lately" Harry asked him. Dobby explained all about cleaning Snape's classroom.
"That ugly git" Ron cursed.
"He's all ways picking on people who are weaker than him", said Harry. "Not to say your weak or anything", Harry added hastily.
"No Harry you were right the first time" Hermione said looking up for the first time, "But we can change that, Dobby you should run for minister of magic!" "Well, I don't really..., Dobby stuttered.
"But Fudge is still minister", said ron "so there won't be any elections, yet"
Daily prophet
Minister of magic, Cornelius Fudge is dead. He was trampled by hippogiffs out side of his london estate earlier today...
"Well that's lucky", said harry.
"So it is", said hermione, "where the hell is dobby".
"You said you would run for minister, Dobby" Harry pointed out.
"We all heard you say it", Ron continued.
"I don't seem to remember that" Dobby squeaked. Hermione stood up, "I'm going to go put your name on the ballot."
Daily prophet
The wizarding world was shocked yesterday to hear that dobby the house elf put forth his name as a candidate for minister of magic. Dobby is relatively new on the political scene but has a life time of valuable experience. Dobby is currently employed at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Daily prophet reporter Rita skeeter recently talked to his employer albus Dumbledore. When asked about Dobby, dumbledore had this to say: "Dobby is a meticulous cleaner, he does wonders on stains, and he is also an avid knitter". Prior to be employed at Hogwarts dobby worked for Lucius Malfoy. Daily prophet Rita skeeter interviewed Mr. Malfoy about Dobbys qualifications. Mr. Malfoy had this to say: "Dobby is running for minister? Well maybe I would endorse him if he was running for toilet cleaner. I seem to remember he was good at that." Dobby can knit, get out stains, and clean toilets. With this growing list of virtues, Dobby will be hard to beat. The wizarding world is wondering who will run against dobby.
"Damn them!", Lucius Malfoy thundered. "Did you see this issue of the daily prophet Draco, Rita Skeeter must be in Dobby's pocket!"
"Yes father" Draco said, "I agree." "Cleaning toilets?", Lucius continued "that's all Dobby is good for but I was not complimenting him."
"Yes father" Draco's voice rang out, "I agree."
"Who can possibly run to oppose Dobby now", Lucius sneered "It will take someone with intelligence."
"Yes father" Draco said, "I agree."
Daily prophet
In a surprise move prominent citizen lucius malfoy has put forth his name as a candidate for minister of magic. He will run against dobby. The first debate will take place this Sunday. The debate is being reported by none other than daily prophet reporter rita skeeter.
"The debate is tomorrow dobby" said Hermione "where do you stand on the issues?" Dobby stared blankly, "issues...?"
"How do you stand on wizard muggle relations?", Harry asked "For example." "It's...good?"
"How do you feel about taxes Dobby" Ron continued.
"They're good too?" Hermione smiled, "I think he's ready.
The room that the debate was being held was large with a round table in the center. When Lucius and Dobby entered Rita skeeter was seated at the end of the room
"Good afternoon" said Rita Skeeter "and welcome to the first debate for minister of magic." Rita skeeter took out a piece of paper and a quill.
"Gentlemen please be seated and we will start." Lucius and Dobby sat opposite Rita.
"I await your questions" Lucius said calmly. Rita cleared her throat, "One of the major problems facing wizard kind today is discrimination and hate that is directed towards muggleborns. Dobby how do you stand on that issue?"
"I think it is a problem" Dobby answered after a few seconds.
"Mudblood lover" muttered Lucius.
"A statement like that could make you quite unpopular" said Rita picking up her quill.
"I said nothing" Lucius stared at Rita menacingly, "And you heard nothing if you catch my drift."
"I will not be intimidated!" Rita exploded. Lucius stood up,
"Reporting something like that could effect your health" and with that he walked out.
"So Dobby how do you think the debate went?" Rita asked.
"Well."
"Yes I agree I think you have this election in the bag, I better go type this up", Rita Skeeter gathered up her notes and hurried off
Daily prophet
Lucius Malfoy is a racist, writes daily prophet reporter Rita Skeeter. I know this because at the minister of magic debate yesterday Lucius Malfoy called muggleborns mudbloods. Lucius Malfoy then proceeded to threaten me on my life if I reported the truth. Well I am here to say that I will not be intimidated! I will not be scared into silence! I will not cower and hide! I will not be bullied! Mr. Malfoy If you are reading this I do not fear you! I am not afraid, do your worst!
Daily prophet
In locale news today, Rita Skeeter has died today at the age of 41. Daily prophet reporter Rita Skeeter appears to have fallen from a ladder outside her home earlier this morning. This tragic accident leaves the world in mourning.
"Oh, that sucks" said Harry putting down the news paper. "Yeah death sucks" added Hermione. "Want to play some chess" said Ron.