Story Of His Broken Heart
For as long as he can recall, Damon Salvatore has walked the path of broken hearts. No matter how hard he tried, or how much he loved someone, he always ended up in second place. It all started in 1848. That was the year Stefan was born. During his years as an only child, Damon had never been close to his father, when Stefan was born Damon realized that he wasn't treated the same as the other children were. His father had always hated him for being so disobedient and stubborn, always telling him to be more like Stefan. But he wasn't Stefan. He couldn't have become Stefan. Even if he wanted to. His mother was always there to soothe the pain away. She was always there to encourage him. In his eyes his mother was the most beautiful person on earth, not for what she looked like, but for the big heart that she always had. The comfort of his mother did not last long. When Damon was 16 years old, she passed, leaving him alone to fend for himself. He'll never forget her last words to him.
"Love is what makes the world go around, Damon. I want you to know that even though my image is leaving earth, my love for you and my memory shall remain, wherever you go, what ever you do, just remember that I'm with you every breath you take, every step, and every decision you make. Never forget that. I love you Damon. I always will."
He did not know if he would be able to live without her in his life. It was hard. Extremely hard. After the death of his mother, his fathers hatred towards him both intensified and worsened. His father had always blamed him for the death of his wife saying that if he hadn't been so stubborn and disobedient, that she might have still been here. After a while, Damon began to believe him. It made him wish he could go back in time and change it. But he couldn't. In 1864 he met Katherine Pierce. He fell in love with her almost instantly. But to Damon's demise, Stefan had fallen for Katherine as well. Damon knew that it would tear Stefan and him apart. Katherine would one day, have to make a choice. She would have to choose one brother and leave the other heartbroken. One day he found out Katherine had a secret. She was a vampire. Even after knowing this, he still loved her. He would have given her anything and everything she wanted had she just asked for it. One dark night he finds out that the town council had found out what Katherine was and planned to set the church ablaze with her in it. He had to save her. He loved her! He wasn't going to sit there knowing that somewhere in Mystic Falls, the one he loved was dying. So Stefan and himself find the place they're keeping the vampires in just hoping that they are not too late. She's alive but she does not have much time. He removes her muzzle and untied her arms and he's almost done removing the ropes around her legs. Suddenly, a loud noise fills the air and a sharp pain goes through him. He falls to the ground. He knows that this is it. His time has expired and that he's going to heaven, to be with mother again. But to his surprise, he awakes alongside his brother. He does not know how long he's been unconscious for, Emily Bennett then greets him. She tells him he is transitioning. He knows what this means. He is becoming a vampire. He didn't want to. He said he'd rather die but Stefan brought a girl he had already drunk from for him to drink. He forced Damon to drink. It was soon after this that Stefan became a monster. Damon simply hated the person he had become. Human life was precious in his eyes. Having to take it was tragic for him. He hated the person Stefan had become too. He could never truly hate Stefan. They were brothers. They used to be so close. Then Katherine came into the picture and changed everything. They had distanced, yes but it was after becoming a vampire that Damon began despising Stefan. He was always forcing Damon to drink. Soon after they met Lexi. She said that she'd help them to control their urges for blood. Damon felt he had no urge for blood. He hated taking human life. So he left. Before he goes Lexi says something that rings true for him now.
"If you think you have your emotions under control, you don't. The hatred will take over your life Damon. You won't be able to stop it."
He leaves the house that night. He doesn't believe her. Looking back he thinks this was his downfall. Had he stayed Lexi would have helped him and he would be a much better person then he was now. But the past is in the past. There's nothing he can do about it now. He cannot go back and change what happens although he wishes he could, he cannot. The brothers had gone their separate ways and Damon was on his own now, he may actually be on his own now, but he's felt alone almost his whole life. Not once was he surrounded by people that loved him for who he was and not what they had wanted him to become. A couple years later he runs into Stefan in London. They've both changed immensely. Stefan is on an animal blood diet now; he has much more compassion and love now. Damon on the other hand is meaner and more insensitive than he had ever been before in both his human life and his short years as a vampire. He misses how close Stefan and himself were back in his days as a human, they've distanced now. They can never truly be as close as they were. Too much has come between them Katherine, vampire life. The list goes on. Deep down inside the heart that he hides from most, he misses his little brother. He could never show that. That would require him having to feel. He's undead. His heart isn't beating. So he cannot feel. At least he does not allow himself to. He fears that if he does, history will repeat itself. He may fall in love again, but the girl he loves with his whole undead heart, does not love him. She loves someone else. Someone that actually allows himself to feel. So, he hides what he feels and decides to follow Stefan wherever it is that he is off to. He promises Stefan an eternity of misery. Out of all, Damon keeps his word. And he intends on keeping this promise. It's over a century later and he decides to follow Stefan and return to Mystic falls. Soon after, he meets Elena. To his surprise, she looks exactly like Katherine. She may look exactly like the bitch but Elena Gilbert was nothing like Katherine Pierce. Elena was generous, cheerful and kind-hearted. She was the one person that he was able to talk to. The one person who cared enough to look past the murderous vampire he was. Elena was the only person that cared enough to even try and look for his soul. Soon enough, history repeats itself. He falls in love with a girl that he can never have. That girl was Elena. But Damon didn't stand a chance. She had already chosen Stefan. Elena hated him for his lack of humanity. She hated the fact that he kills innocent people. One night, during the founders day parade they use the Gilbert device (that the witch didn't really unspell) and they trap vampires in the old Gilbert building. Damon is one of these vampires trapped in the burning building. He thinks this is it. He's going to die. He's lived 170 years, He's lived enough. Suddenly, a person comes down the stairs. Stefan. The last person he'd expect at a time like this. His little brother picks him up and carries him out of the burning building. He knows that he doesn't really matter, that Stefan just saved him for the sake of Elena. At least one person felt he was worth saving. For five seconds he feels like he's actually worth something. He decides to thank her for thinking that he was worth saving, that he was worth anything in that matter. That night, he kisses her. He thought she kissed him back. He thought that for once, Damon Salvatore actually had a chance. The next day he finds out that Elena was not the girl he kissed. It was Katherine. The bitch is back. That night, she turns up at the boarding house. She tells him to kiss her, or kill her. He loses control again tonight, just like he did in 1864. He kisses her roughly. It occurs to him that she could be playing him again. He won't let that happen again. So he tells her he needs the truth.
"The truth is, I've never loved you... It was always Stefan"
He wishes she'd lied to him, there's no difference. Everyone chooses Stefan. Never Damon. He's always second place. Is it pathetic for him to just want one person to love him best? He's broken-hearted yet again. He drinks a few glasses of bourbon and then goes over to Elena's house. He tells her there's something between the two of them. That she's lying to herself. And she tells him almost the exact same thing Katherine did less than an hour ago.
"I care about you, I do but I love Stefan it's always going to be Stefan!"
He can't take it anymore. He doesn't want to feel anymore. Jeremy walks in to see if everything is all right. Damon walks right up to him and snaps his neck. Elena screams. The last thing out of Damon's mouth before he left was "I'm sorry." days later Elena's in danger. Stefan and him drive for about 4 hours just to get her back. The person who took her was the person after the bitch 500 years ago. He knows that he might not come out of that house. But he's willing to risk his life. Because he loves her. He successfully kills the man that wanted to use her for the sacrifice. But he gets no credit at all. It all goes to his perfect little brother Stefan. Story of his life. Later That night he goes to Elena's house. He needs to tell her how he feels. She just needs to hear it and he just needs to say it. He tells her he loves her. He knows that Stefan is the brother that truly deserves her. So because of that, he compels her memory away. He won't put this decision on her. It'll only cause her grief. And Damon does not want to see that. So he leaves her room after putting her vervain necklace back around her neck and goes to drown his sorrows in alcohol. The next day he finds out that Rose came to the boarding house to offer them her help. Klaus was coming after Elena. He may despise Rose, but he needs to save Elena. He's nothing without her. She makes him feel human again. No one in all of his 145 years as a vampire has ever made him feel like this. Not even Katherine. He now knows that his "love" for Katherine wasn't love, he was just entranced by her beauty (just like lots of other men probably were). What he had with Elena was real. Even though she didn't feel the same, He had to protect her. They could never be together and Damon knows that but they will always be good friends but he'll always want to be something more than that. Soon after he finds out that Rose us on their side where Klaus is concerned, he begins to find himself falling for her. He knows the he could never love Rose more than he loves Elena. But he does really like Rose and she's an amazing friend. Soon after, a new girl arrives in town. A friend of Masons. The werewolf he killed a while ago. They become instant enemies. Well, instant enemies after he tried to poison her with wolfs bane. She came to kill him that night. But rose jumped in front of him, and got bitten instead. Werewolf bites are fatal to a vampire. So why is hers healing? For five minutes he thinks that she is going to be okay. Later that night he realizes the bite didn't heal, it worsened. Soon she becomes hysterical. One minute she's fine and the next she thinks Elena is Katherine. He can't bear to see her in this much pain he has to take it away. He kills Rose but it's for her own good. She won't suffer anymore. Rose may not be suffering, but he is. He's alone again. He doesn't want to feel the pain again. It hurts too much. There have been times in both his human life and his vampire life that he has just wanted to die. All he has ever asked for was attention and love from his father. That's where the whole vicious cycle of "Damon not being good enough" started. He can't take it anymore. It hurts. But he keeps his head held high and continues to lead his life. That's what mother would have wanted. She always taught him that when the going gets tough, the weak give up, but the tough keep fighting. That's what he's done his whole life. Fight. He fought for the affections of both his parents after Stefan was born. He fought for the affections of Katherine. And now he's fighting both for Elena's love and to keep her safe. He's fought far too much and he's tired of it. Because every time he fights for something, he loses it to Stefan. Because it always was Stefan and it was always going to be Stefan. He knew that in the end Stefan would always win. And Damon will always end up the same way he always does, broken-hearted, alone and drunk. He wishes that one day someone will come along and change that, but that doesn't seem like it's going to happen anytime soon. What happens now? How can he make this unbearable pain go away? All he needs is someone that would love him. Someone that would care. That's all he's ever needed. He wants to leave town. He wants to run, so far away, to a place where no one will know him. A place he can start afresh. But Elena's in danger. That's what keeps him from leaving. He loves her. So, he has to help protect her. He needs her. She's his tie to humanity. No one in all of his 145 years has ever brought back his humanity; they had always thought he was too far-gone, that he wasn't worth saving. Is he a fool for being misled by her? For thinking for just five minutes, that she would be the one to love him for the rest of their lives? Why was he destined to live a life that consists of so much pain, yet so little comfort? He wishes for it to change everyday. He tries to be the better man but still, things remain the same. He doesn't know what else to do, where else to go. He's lost. And there's no one there to help him find his way home again.
And so, Damon Salvatore continues to tread the path of broken hearts, hoping that somewhere along the way, he'll find someone that will love him. Someone that will never ask him to change.
Because all his life that's all he's ever wanted. He's always wanted to know what it was like to be truly loved.