Author's note: This is just a oneshot in response to the previews for next week's episode. Spoilers from the promo only.
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Wish I did.
"Why don't you put on the one that I picked out," he said, handing her a dress in a plastic department store dress bag.
"This…will barely cover me," she said, examining the scant material.
"What're you talkin' about? It's your size," he said, glancing over at her.
"No, look at it, it's…wait, how do you even know my size?" she asked, looking at him suspiciously.
"You know what, it doesn't matter. Just trust me that it's your size."
She gave him one more distrustful stare before taking the garment into the bathroom to change.
"Okay, Bones, we need to talk about this undercover thing," Booth called out.
"What's there to talk about?" she said through the door.
"Well, I just have to brief you on casino etiquette."
"Booth, we're not here to gamble, we're here to catch a killer," Brennan argued.
"And we're trying to do it discreetly. The best way to be discreet is to fit in. Your normal brand of questioning and going on forever about anthropological mumbo-jumbo is not gonna get us the answers we need."
He waited for a response, but all he heard was shuffling and a few grunts. "Bones, you okay in there?"
"Aargh…Booth, are you sure this is the right size? It seems a little snug."
"No…no, that's definitely how it's supposed to fit," he said with a smirk.
"Well can you help me, then? I can't get this stupid zipper up."
He sauntered towards the bathroom door.
"But no looking!" Brennan added just before he could open the door.
"Fine, my eyes are closed," he said appeasingly, screwing them up tight and opening the door.
"Where are you?" he asked, his hands reaching towards her. She stepped within his reach and his fingertips made contact with her rib cage.
He slowly felt for the zipper, and his fingers brushed her skin. He followed the gap downwards to find the zipper pull and she shivered a little.
"Your hands are cold," she said unconvincingly.
"Sorry," he answered with amusement, pulling them away from her skin and blowing on them to warm them. He reached out again to where he estimated he'd left off.
"Too low," was her only reply. He merely grinned and moved upward, finally finding the zipper pull. He tugged it gently, making sure not to get it snagged on anything.
When he was done, he opened his eyes. She turned towards the mirror and examined the piece critically.
He studied it as well, though with perhaps a bit less skepticism and a bit more raised eyebrows.
"Well, it certainly doesn't leave much to the imagination," she said sullenly, her eyes fixed on the vee-shaped neckline.
He tilted his head to the side a bit, following her focus. "No…."
She saw him staring and turned around and pushed him out of the bathroom, slamming the door in his face.
"Bones, you do realize that you're gonna get a lot of stares like that when we go down to the club, right?"
"Well I don't need them from you as well," she fumed.
"Look, Bones, I apologize. You're a very attractive woman, and I just wasn't thinking."
She opened the door a crack and stuck her head out, judging the sincerity in his face. Once she seemed satisfied that he was being honest, she stepped out of the bathroom.
"So what do I need to know about casino etiquette?"
"First rule, let me do as much of the talking as possible. You have a tendency to…ramble."
"I do not!" she said offendedly.
"Yeah, ya do. There's no point arguing on that one," he said with finality.
She pouted a little, but was otherwise silent.
"Second rule, we're supposed to be engaged, so we have to act like it."
"Well, I've got the ring," she said, holding up her left hand, which was adorned with a decent-sized diamond engagement ring.
"Yeah, that's not gonna convince people we're engaged. There are a few things we have to do to make them believe."
"Hang on," she interrupted, "how is this even classified as casino etiquette?"
"It's not, but it's part of our undercover op, so it's important. Now," he continued, "we've obviously had sex."
"What?! No we haven't!" she exclaimed.
"Not we as in us, Bones. We as in the couple we're pretending to be."
"Oh," she answered.
"So we have to show that we're completely comfortable with each other," he finished, as though no interruption had occurred.
"But we are comfortable with each other," Brennan said. "We annoy each other, but we're never uncomfortable."
"Okay," he laughed. "I don't think you quite understand what I mean."
"Well, enlighten me, then," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Alright, you're gonna have to relax for this, though," he said, gently prying her arms apart and placing them at her sides.
"Now I'm gonna have my arm around you most of the time when we're together," he said, slinging his arm around her back and resting his hand on her waist.
She squirmed a little. "Do you have to have it like that?" she asked.
"Uh, yeah Bones. I kinda do," he answered, pulling away and turning her to face him.
"Look," he said, "If I do this…" he pulled her towards him by the hips, so that their bodies were pressed together.
"Or this…" his hands moved around to rest on the curve of her rear.
"Or this…" he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers.
"…you have to act like it's not the first time," he concluded, his mouth still hovering centimeters from hers.
She nodded her understanding, letting her hands make their way up his chest and around his neck. "I think I can do that," she said.
He smiled. "Good."
They pulled apart and finished getting ready to go out.
"Hey, Booth," Brennan called out from the minibar.
"Yeah?"
"Why is the minibar stocked with whipped cream?" she asked, holding up a can of Reddi-Wip.
"The same reason they put condoms on the pillows instead of chocolates," he replied with a devilish grin.
She looked lost for a moment, then got a disgusted look on her face and shoved the whipped cream back in the fridge, slamming it shut.
Booth laughed and spread his arms wide. "Welcome to Vegas, Baby!"
END
Reviews are nice! Pretty please with whipped cream and Booth on top (not necessarily in that order).