Happy Ending
Chapter 1: This Bitter Pill
Summary: Seth returns to a Summer-less Newport. Why did she leave? Where did she go? Was it his fault? He is determined to find out...But will he before it's too late?
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I own nothing… don't sue me.
A/N: Yes, another one… the song is This Bitter Pill by dashboard confessional… the one that has a short little excerpt from the song is the places you have come to fear the most also by dashboard…i wrote this in the week prior to the show...read and review please!
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"Where is she?" Seth Cohen demanded, slamming his hand down on the kitchen counter.
"Seth, what makes you think that now, just seconds after you asked me the last time, I'm going to change my mind and tell you?" Marissa replied, standing up and walking to the coffee pot. "She left for a good reason, and obviously doesn't want to see you. You should respect her decision and let her alone."
"How do you know she doesn't want to see me?" Seth asked. "You just found out I was back home, so obviously had no time to tell her. How do you know she won't change her mind?"
"Because I know my best friend," she replied, and walked out of the room with her coffee. She didn't need to argue with Seth anymore.
"Where are you going?" he called after her. When she didn't stop, he followed her into the living room. "Marissa, please!"
"Seth, just go home and be with your family. You just came back; don't you think you should spend some time with them?" Marissa sighed. He was really beginning to annoy her.
"Not until I find out where Summer is," he told her, spinning her around, almost spilling the coffee, and looking into her eyes. "Marissa, I love her with all of my heart, and knowing that I caused her to leave hurts so much. I want to talk to her, to tell her how sorry I am for letting go. She needs to understand why I left, where I went, and why I came back. I came back because of her. I love her, Marissa, and I know you're not one who wants to keep true love apart."
Marissa sighed, placing her coffee on the table. "Seth, look, I want to tell you where she is, but can't. I promised her that I wouldn't tell anyone. I'm the only person in Newport who knows where she is staying. But…I can talk to her. If she wants me to tell you where she is, I will. I just… I just don't want to tell you and then have something awful happen."
"How could brining two people in love back together be awful?" Seth spat, but noticing the trying look on Marissa's face, continued. "Okay… but as soon as you talk to her, tell me."
"Okay," she replied as Seth turned and headed out the door. This was all in Summer's hands now…
0oo0oo0oo0oo0oo0oo0oo0oo0
Summer Roberts walked through the fallen autumn leaves, with her arms wrapped around her in the wind. She wasn't used to the cold weather of the North, and certainly didn't like it. She missed the warmth of Newport, not to mention many other things about it. Sighing, she saw her breath in the cold air. She wasn't sure if she could get used to this…but she had to. She was going to be here for a long time.
Sitting down on a nearby bench, she pulled out her cell phone. She scrolled down through the address book. There it was; his name. All she had to do was press send and she could talk to him. But she couldn't. Quickly, she tossed her phone back into her purse, and headed down the street.
Minutes later, she was walking through the apartment door of the place she had come to know as her temporary home. No one was home, of course. Her roommate was usually out with some guy, one she didn't know, but was supposedly her "friend" from a long time ago. Summer, surprisingly, spent most of her days walking outside, or just home alone thinking. Nothing really mattered except staying far, far away from Newport.
Heading back to her room, she noticed the answering machine blinking, but disregarded it and kept walking. It was either some recording calling to tell her to vote for someone or not for her. Marissa was the only one who knew this number, and she would have called her cell phone anyway. Popping a few CDs into her 5 disk changer, she plopped down on her bed in the corner of the room and curled up under the warm blankets. Ever since she and Seth started dating, she had started listening to more of his type of music. Well, it wasn't really his type yet, but she was getting there. She had started, really, with Rooney and headed in the "punk" direction, listening to more popular bands, like New Found Glory and Simple Plan. Gradually, she had come to like Dashboard Confessional, but really wasn't into the real emo as Seth used to call it, like Bright Eyes and Death Cab.
Right now the sounds of Dashboard Confessional were filling her room. This had been the band she had turned to after… she left. All the songs just seemed to describe everything she was feeling, while the other bands just couldn't come close to it. Summer closed her eyes, leaning back her head, and began singing along with the whiney voice of Chris Carabba…
"…in the grave that you refuse to leave, the refuge that you've built to free, the places you have come to fear the most. It's the place that you have come to fear the most…" she sang, but was interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone. Without even looking at the name, she closed it. She wasn't in the mood to really talk right now- even if it was to Marissa.
She sat for moments, just staring out into the dark night, but when the next song came on her eyes were overcome by tears. Blinking them back, she began to sing once again to the song that related too much to what she had gone through after Seth had left…
"Walking away, it's not the same as running is it to you now, that you've run this in the ground. And you say take this, this medicine is just what you deserve- swallow, choke and die," she began, closing her eyes and remembering the night she found out he was gone…
0oo0oo0oo0oo0oo0oo0oo
Walking away, it's not the same as running
Is it to you now? That you've run this in the ground
But you say take this, this medicine
Is just what you deserve – swallow, choke, and die
"Summer, I think you need to get over here," Sandy Cohen said, on the other end of the phone.
Without a second thought, Summer was in her car, speeding over to the Cohen's house. What could have happened? What did Seth do? Is he okay?
Within minutes she was pulling into their driveway, and before she knew it, was sitting in the Cohen's kitchen trying to take in all of this.
"So…he just… left?" Summer choked out, trying to blink back her tears. "And he… he didn't tell anyone?"
"No," Sandy told her, "he didn't tell anyone, but he did leave this." He said, sliding the note across the table.
"Thank you," she said in a barely audible whisper. "I…I'm going to go home. I'll call if he wrote anything important." She finished, practically running out the front door and to her car. She drove home almost faster than she drove to the Cohen's in the first place, and ran up to her room, slamming the door behind her. Sitting down on her bed, she opened the letter and began to read:
Summer,
I'm sure if you're reading this, you know I'm gone. My parents probably called you over and explained everything, then gave you this. Before I say anything else, I just want you to know that I didn't want to leave you, but I had to. I love you so much, but I just needed this. I've taken my boat out and plan on sailing somewhere. I don't know where yet, but as soon as I get there, I'll call and tell you I'm all right. I want you to know how hard it was for me to leave you. You were and are everything that I could ever want, but I understand if you don't feel the same way now that I have gone. You can wait for me; in fact I would love it if you did. But I can't ask you to do something you don't want to do. Go out and live this summer. But…please, don't wait for me because I asked you to, and also, please…don't hate me. I love you Summer. I have loved you my entire life, and I don't think I'll ever stop loving you. So, before I change my mind, I'm going stop writing.
Love,
Seth
Tears were streaming down Summer's cheeks as she finished the letter. He left and didn't say for how long or where he was going. What if he got hurt? What if he ran into a storm while he was sailing? God…she couldn't lose him. Marissa had just lost Ryan, and if Seth was gone too… she didn't know what she would do.
And this bitter pill is leaving you
With such an angry mouth
One that's void of all discresion
Such an awful tearing sound
With its measure only equal by
The power of my stare
Blaring over you, and over you
This feeling of despair is never wearing out
0oo0oo0oo0oo0oo0oo
Days later Seth still hadn't called, or even answered his phone. Every time she called, it rang once and went straight to his voicemail. Summer was sitting on her bed, staring down at the things spread across it. Pills? Alcohol? Razorblade? She decided on the first two, and tossed the other off of her bed. Her life had gone completely downhill in the past week. Her father had been gone for a month, leaving only a note that said "business trip – be back in a week" on the front door. Well, it was more than a week and there was no call. Marissa was at home every day, drinking away her problems or trying to muster up the courage to call him. And Seth, the only constant she had in her life, and he wasn't calling or answering the phone. What else could she do?
It's wearing out and it's leaving you
With such a heavy heart and a head to match
The bottle is waiting, the cap is twisted
Begging to be used and so are you
Unscrewing the caps of both of the bottles, she sat them on the table. Could she do this? What else did she have? It's not like she had a father that cared anymore, a best friend who was there, or the one thing she thought she could always depend on- Seth. What else did she have? Nothing- absolutely nothing.
She picked up the bottle of pills and poured some into her hand. Closing her eyes for what could possibly be the last time, she tilted her head back and dumped them into her mouth. For moments, she just sat there as the coating wore off, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. She had to do this… there was nothing else. Picking up the bottle of vodka, she poured that into her mouth, but still couldn't bring herself to swallow. Quickly, she spit the pills and alcohol back into the bottle, gagging at the bitter taste.. She looked at the bottle sitting there, trying to understand why she couldn't do this. She had nothing to live for.
Looking over, she saw the box lying on the table. Tears filled her eyes again as more memories filled her head. Finally, she tossed the pills into the trashcan. She couldn't do this…she did have one thing to live for. She couldn't do this.
And this bitter pill is leaving you
With such an angry mouth
One that's void of all discresion
Such an awful tearing sound
With its measure only equal by
The power of my stare
Blaring over you, and over you
This feeling of despair is never wearing out
Wearing out, wearing out, wearing out
Wearing out, wearing out
0oo0oo0oo0oo0oo0oo0oo0oo0oo
Knock, Knock
Summer's eyes opened at the noise, and glanced over at the clock; it was midnight.
"Come in," she called quietly, as a shadow appeared at her door.
"Summer," the girl sighed, flipping on the lights. "You can't do this to yourself… or Seth."
"What do you mean Seth? He's the one who left me," she replied, squinting in the light. "Besides, if he really wanted to talk to me he would have called my cell phone."
"Didn't you check the answering machine?" the girl asked back. "There's a message from Marissa. She was frantic, yelling about how Seth wouldn't stop bugging to find out where you were-"
"She didn't tell him did she?" Summer cut her off quickly. When the girl didn't reply, she continued. "Anna! Did she tell him?"
"What, that you're staying with me, or that you're carrying his baby?" Anna fired, a look of disgust adorning her face.
Summer sat in silence at this last comment. After a moment or so, Anna spoke up again, sitting down on the bed.
"Look, Sum," she sighed. "I'm sorry, okay? You need to tell Seth, though. You can't just pretend like nothing happened, and leave him wondering for the rest of your lives. Seth deserves to know that he's going to be a father."
"He can't," Summer replied, barely audible. "I'm doing this for him, Anna. You wouldn't understand. This child would ruin Seth's life. All of his dreams…his aspirations- everything would go down the drain if he had a child to look after. Look at Ryan and Theresa. Albeit she had a miscarriage, but he was willing to give up everything to care for a child he didn't even know was his own. Don't you think Seth would do that?"
Anna sighed. She had this conversation with Summer almost every night, but to no avail, she still stuck with her gut. Summer was determined not to let Seth know that she was pregnant, and living in Pittsburgh with Anna.
"Fine," was all she could say as she stood up and left Summer alone, once again.
A/N: So what do ya'll think? It really sounds familiar… like I heard this idea somewhere…and if I'm taking it, then please tell me. Maybe I just thought about it so many times it seems like I've read it, or watched a movie like it, or something somewhere. I don't know…but review please!!!