Kim Possible Ten Years Later: The afterquel
This is the afterquel (I don't subscribe to such words as "sequel" so I use afterquel.) to my duringquel of "Kim Possible Ten Years Later." If I feel up to it I may just make a beforeguel. Anyway, this lame fanfic takes place ten years later from when the series ended. That's all you really need to know. I recommend you read the duringquel before this, though.
The scene opens up in the office of Mega Bank where Kim and Ron work. Cut to the elevator doors. The doors open and we see a guy from the neck down. The person is wearing a large pink and furry coat. Is wearing massive high-top shoes. And every finger on his hands has a huge gold ring. Not to mention all the gold and platinum necklaces around his neck. Attached to one necklace are the words "Ladies' Man." He is also wearing a medallion the size of a large dinner plate. The camera zooms out to reveal it is Ron. He is also wearing a white cowboy hat with a purple feather. He's got a huge smile on his face. He walks out of the elevator and over to his cubicle. (Remember, it's one of those low wall cubicles.) All the office workers crowd around him in awe.
Cut to Kim in her office. She is wearing a stylish women's business suit. She is working intently. She looks up and sees the crowd through the windows of her office. She gets up and heads out the door to the workroom.
Kim: People! Please! Get back to work!
As the workers leave the crowd Kim sees Ron with his fancy new duds.
Kim: Ron? What is all this junk? Is that real gold?
Ron: Gold, silver, platinum, aluminum, vinyl, and some other stuff that I can't pronounce. It's all good, babe.
Kim: How could you afford this? (Jokingly) Did you rob a bank or something? (A beat) Please tell me you didn't rob a bank.
Ron: No I did not. I got my mail the other day and I got this.
Ron holds up a credit card.
Ron: A credit card. Turns out I was pre-approved for Tritanium status.
Kim: So you bought all this with your credit card?
Ron: That's what I was getting at…
Kim: Um… you do realize you still have to pay for this.
Ron: No I don't. That's the beauty of having the credit card.
Kim: No, Ron. The beauty of having a credit card is not having to carry around huge piles of money.
Ron: What are you talking about?
Kim: When you buy something with a credit card you are supposed to have the money to pay for it. The point of the card is convenience.
Ron: So I have to pay for all this?
Kim: Yeah…
Ron: Are you sure?
Kim: Ron, I am the director of finances at the world's second largest bank. I think I know a little something about credit cards.
Ron becomes upset. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out Rufus. Rufus is wearing a giant (to him) gold medallion.
Ron: Rufus! Did you know I still have to pay for all this?
Rufus: Yup.
Ron: Why didn't you tell me!?
Rufus shrugs his shoulders.
Ron: What am I going to do?
Kim: Relax. Just return all the stuff you bought.
Ron: I can't! I ripped all the tags off and burnt the receipts!
Kim: Why'd you burn the receipts?
Ron: I needed something to light my Cuban cigars with!
Kim: Why didn't you just use matches?
Ron: Because that wouldn't be nearly as cool!
Kim: Whatever, Ron. Just get to work and we'll talk about it later. And take that ridiculous hat off.
Ron takes the hat off to reveal the words "Big Money" shaved into his hair. Kim rolls her eyes and walks back to her office.
Cut to the interior of Señor Senior Sr.'s lair. In it are Senior and Jr. Senior is holding a futuristic ray-gun thingy with flashing lights and weird pipes coming in and out of it.
Junior: So this is what you needed the big diamond for?
Senior: Yes. The diamond gives off special energies, which I have utilized for my latest and most evil plan.
Junior: So the diamond was for a plan? I thought you were going to use it to make a very large ring.
Senior: Why would I do that?
Junior: So you could marry a very large woman.
Senior: Junior, I am a free and swinging bachelor. I do not have time for such things as love.
Junior: What about that one woman you were going out with? Whatever happened to her?
Senior: It turns out she was a robot. Now, pay attention to my plan! As you know every time I have tried to take over the world I have been stopped by that Kim Possible.
Junior: Only because you give her a chance to stop you.
Senior: The rules of villainy are not mine to pick and choose!
Junior: Whatever. Continue on with your fancy plan.
Senior: I have devised a way to make it so Kim Possible was never a problem.
Junior: What are you talking about?
Senior picks up a red marker and draws on a white board. He draws a picture of Kim with a talk bubble that reads "It's over, Senior" He picks up a green marker and draws a picture of him next to the Kim drawing.
Senior: Now observe.
He picks up the ray gun and points it at the red marker. He presses a button and an impressive white beam comes out of it. When the beam is done firing the marker begins to fade away along with the red ink on the board. Soon they both disappear.
Junior: I do not get it.
Senior: You see, Junior. If I shoot this ray at Kim Possible she will be erased from time! She will have never existed! Thus all my previous plans will not have been foiled and we will rule the world!
Junior: I still do not get it.
Senior: We have always been stopped by Miss Possible. This gun will make it so she could never have stopped our plans.
Junior: I still do not get it.
Senior: I can't explain any better than that. I mean I had a diagram. (A beat) Just do an evil laugh with me.
Junior: I cannot laugh without purpose, father!
Senior: Just think of a funny joke.
The two begin laughing maniacally. Though Junior's isn't very evil sounding.
Cut back to Kim's office. She is working intensely. Suddenly the Kimmunicator goes off. Kim answers it.
Kim: What's the deal, Wade?
Wade: You mean, "What's the sitch?" You always say, "What's the sitch?"
Kim: I think you are mistaking me for someone else.
Wade: Whatever. Remember that giant diamond that was stolen?
Kim: Yeah. That was two days ago.
Wade: You know you were supposed to retrieve it?
Kim: I know, I know. I'm all over the diamond dilemma. I was just saving it for this weekend.
Wade: Well, there is something you should know about it.
Kim: It's fake?
Wade: No. Apparently it gives off some sort of radiation.
Kim: Radiation? What kind of radiation?
Wade: Time-tronic.
Kim: Time-tronic? Did you just make that name up right now?
Wade: Yes…
Kim: So what does it do?
Wade: It's a special radiation that, if properly utilized, can control time!
Kim: Control time, eh? Sounds a bit dangerous.
Wade: Kim, if in the wrong hands it can be FEROCIOUSLY dangerous.
Kim: I guess I better go find that diamond soon.
Wade: Yeah. Like, right now would be a good time!
Kim: Fine. Ron and I will take off work just so we can retrieve your precious time controlling diamond… Where is it anyway?
Wade: You'll love this. I tracked the diamond to a small, uncharted island in Europe.
Kim: You mean…
Wade: Yup! Señor Senior Senior is at it again.
Kim: Really? We haven't heard from him since he wrote that book.
Kim points to a book on her desk. On it is a picture of a smirking Triple S holding the world in his hand. The title of the book is, "How To Take Over The World With Only a Toothpick And Countless Billions Of Dollars Without Really Trying"
Kim: I wish he had used a shorter title.
Wade: Don't forget his infomercial which runs 'round-the-clock on channel 24.
Kim: How could I forget?
Kim turns on her office T.V. (yeah… she has a T.V. in her office) to channel 24. On it is SSS and some blonde woman named PATRICIA. They are standing behind a counter full of gadgets and things.
Patricia: So, Señor Senior Senior. Tell me about your new line of Evilware™.
Senior: Well, Patricia… Several years ago I did what many people my age are doing… world domination. But very soon I ran into trouble. I said to myself, "Hey me. There must be a better way?" and I set out to design evil products for the average villain.
Patricia: Wow. You're doing a service to would-be villains everywhere. So what kinds of things did you design?
Senior: Well. How many times has this happened to you? You just captured your nemesis and their sidekick and attached them to a conveyor belt that slowly brings them to their doom. And you just finished telling them your evil plan and have walked away only to find that somehow they escaped. All that preparation for nothing!
Patricia: (Shaking her head) It's happened more times than I've been married… and that's a lot.
Senior walks over to a large conveyor belt.
Senior: Well, my latest Evilware™ conveyer belt is virtually escape proof!
Patricia: What do you mean "virtually"?
Senior: Do not worry. The only way they could escape is through a third party. Whether it is a naked rodent or your idiot son.
Patricia: Whew. I thought you were trying to sell us junk.
Senior: Not at all. Evilware™ is top quality! And the best thing about my conveyor belt is its ease of use. You just think of what kind of demise you want your foe to face. Walk over to the control panel. Set it…
The audience cuts in.
Audience: And forget it!
Senior: Very good. And if you use it for cooking it cuts out over half the fat! Watch this, will you?
The show cuts to footage of some woman toying with a laser gun. She is making it seem far more cumbersome than it really is. The ANNOUNCER starts to talk.
Announcer: Tired of laser guns that let you down?
As he finishes saying that the gun suddenly explodes. Cut to a guy with his hands up surrounded by a swat team.
Announcer: Tired of having evil gadgets that always leave you open to a clever counter-attack?
The guy nods his head.
Announcer: Well… now there's a better way!
A flamethrower suddenly appears in the guy's hands. He shoots flames at the fleeing swat team while laughing. He holds up the flamethrower and gives a thumbs up. The camera zooms in on the Evilware™ label.
Announcer: That's right. With Señor Senior Senior's patent pending Evilware™ system. Anyone can take over the world! Just listen to these totally random and satisfied customers.
Cut to Señor Senior Junior wearing a fake mustache. His testimony is forced and poorly acted.
Junior: I am totally satisfied with my Evilware™ system. With it I took over he world in a matter of days. I was so impressed that I bought one for each member of my family…
At the bottom of the screen is "Results not typical" in really small writing.
Announcer: And the Evilware™ system can be yours for six easy payments of 29,000,000 dollars! Order with-in the next ten minutes and receive Señor Senior Senior's hair in a jug… FREE! That number is 1-800-GET-EVIL. Operators are standing by! Don't delay!
Kim turns the T.V. off.
Kim: I am so close to buying that! Well I guess I better go stop Senior… again.
Wade: Bye, Kim.
Kim: See ya some other time, Wade.
Kim turns off the kimmunicator.