A/N: So I've had this idea for a while now, and I've been wondering how to approach it properly, but now I think—no, I know—that this route is the best way to go. My original prompt was to have subject A (Kairi) be a wingwoman for subject B (Sora), but the writing for that idea didn't flow as fast as this one did, so I guess I'm sticking with this one, guys!

Currently, I've decided that the following content will be a four-shot, so three more chapters and this baby's done. If you've read my material before, don't fret. This shouldn't delay D&L's updates too much. If you haven't read my work before, I sincerely hope that you enjoy the following content.

Now, without further ado, I present to you Ms. Nice Guy!

Disclaimer: The following story is a work of fan fiction. The author does not, in any way, own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy. Other names, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events, other stories, locale, or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

MS. NICE GUY

Phase 01: Discussion

Kairi sighs in content as she relaxes into her couch.

She throws her feet up on the coffee table, turns on the TV, and shamelessly digs into her bowl of extra buttery popcorn with her diet cola waiting on the side.

Ah, yes, she thinks. This was it. All the necessary ingredients for a good Friday night.

After she revels in her sinfully delicious sugary drink and incredibly salty snack for five minutes, she suddenly realizes that something crucial is missing.

She steals a quick glance at her watch and smirks.

Not too long now, she thinks.

She's halfway through her episode when she hears it: the unmistakable sound of hurried, angry footsteps in the hallway. His footsteps: his Louis Vuitton loafers, stomping across the wooden surface with desperation.

Kairi initiates her mental countdown with excitement and anticipation. Incoming in three, two, one…

Her front door swings open, and in walks her expected visitor. She hears him kick off his shoes, rummage through her kitchen for a bottle of beer and a pack of peach penguins, then finally, sit next to her on the couch with an exasperated sigh.

"What was it this time?" Kairi asks as she pops another kernel into her mouth. "Shut in? Unendurably bad breath? Small tits?"

"She started flirting with our waiter five minutes in," her companion answers with dismay. Kairi throws her head back with a laugh.

Sora Hikari is, if anything, her best friend. Ever since they'd met in the elective that they shared in second year university, they'd been inseparable, even when Kairi found out that Sora was the Sora Hikari of Hikari Enterprises: one of the most successful technology-orientated companies galaxy-wide.

Although his cousins, Ventus and Vanitas, now ran the company as twin CEOs, it was Sora's duty as a secondary branch member to "marry within the successful business line" and have "successful business babies" to ensure that the empire ran on "successful business blood" alone. Twenty-five had apparently become the new thirty-two, and now Sora was being forced into countless dates by the company in order to find a suitable young businesswoman to be his bride.

The whole thing was quite preposterous, really, but Kairi, simple, romance novelist Kairi, seemed to be the only one finding the humor in it.

"So were you not good enough for her or something?" she asks, clearly amused.

"After she realized that I was actually paying attention to her face rather than the obnoxious cleavage that her top—piece of cloth, really—provided, she decided to hit on the waiter in hopes that she'd get some action tonight," Sora explains.

"And what, you didn't want to get with that tonight?" Kairi asks with an entertained grin.

"Hell no," Sora says, recalling the immediate distaste that he felt for the young woman earlier that night. "She was way too clingy and a total attention seeker."

"Did she at least capture the attention of the waiter like she'd hoped?"

"Nope," Sora says as he takes a sip of his beer. After licking his upper lip dry with a satisfied sigh, he tends to her curiosity with a grin. "Waiter ended up being gay."

Kairi bursts out laughing then covers her mouth in hopes that she didn't wake her sleeping flatmate. "Aww, poor baby."

"Poor baby!" Sora repeats incredulously. "Please, the bitch had it coming." Then, after running a hand through his hair, Sora's arm drops to his side in defeat. "Why can't the company send a normal, down to earth girl my way for once? Is that so hard?"

"Maybe it wouldn't be if you started looking for a potential partner by yourself," Kairi suggests.

"Yeah right," Sora says as he takes another sip. "I have absolutely no interest in dating the women that I meet during meetings or business trips. They're either a) so self-confident and incredibly work-oriented that they think they're too good for petty little things like dating, b) look like they have a stick up their ass, or c) all of the above, but with overbearing red lipstick."

"How are you certain that they're all like that? Who knows, maybe one of them is really nice," Kairi proposes with optimism.

"No, fuck that," Sora says, rejecting the possibility almost immediately. "Penguin me."

"Penguin," Kairi says, tossing the peach-flavoured gummy in the air for her companion to catch in his mouth. "So, what now? Are you just going to keep running away from every candidate like she's the bubonic plague?"

"Probably," Sora answers truthfully. "Unless you can find a viable option for me that can get me out of this agonizing process faster."

"Why don't you just leave during the date, then? You clearly don't want to be there. Share some honesty with the girl and just leave due to disinterest," Kairi suggests.

"Okay, no. First of all, that wouldn't be professional, and second, that's just plain rude," Sora points out as he lowers the tip of his beer bottle towards her.

Kairi throws her arms up with a groan. "Oh, hell, Sora. You need to stop playing Mr. Nice Guy." Then, as if a blinding, holy light just hit her square in the face, Kairi gasps and punches an enthusiastic fist in the air. "I got it!"

"If by 'it' you mean brain damage, then yeah," Sora teases.

Kairi disregards her best friend's unneeded comments with a wave. "No, no. I know exactly how we can solve this conundrum."

"Conundrum?" Sora repeats with questioning eyes.

"Shush," Kairi demands. "What you need is an excuse, right? Something, or someone, to get you out of the date when it gets borderline unbearable."

"Right," Sora agrees with slight confusion. "So how do we go about this exactly?"

"What you need, Sora, is a Ms. Nice Guy," Kairi announces proudly.

"I beg your pardon?" Sora asks, his full on confusion making itself apparent in his eyes and head scratching.

"A pretend ex-girlfriend!" Kairi exclaims. "It's totally fool proof. Every time you need to get out, you'll just flash some sort of signal, and your fake, desperate ex-girlfriend will come running and attempt to get back with you! Your date, who is, as you say, far too 'professional', won't dare to interfere with such insignificant matters of the heart, and will be forced to let you go off on your merry way. If she's a special case, like the one from today, for example, she'll probably get offended, throw a fit or two, then let herself out. Either way, they'll all eventually get the hint and leave, and you'll be home free! Fool proof!"

Sora looks at Kairi as if she's grown a second head.

The idea is so idiotic. It reeks of trouble, of desperation, and yet, he finds himself actually considering it.

"So, what do you think?" Kairi asks, hoping for a positive reaction.

"I think it's crazy," Sora answers with blunt honesty, but as the redhead's shoulders slump in defeat, he adds, "So crazy, that it just might work."

Suddenly, she squeals, and then she pulls him in for a quick hug.

"Oh, this is going to be so exciting!" she mumbles into his dress shirt. "I can't wait to get all dressed up and act all diva like!"

"Wait, what?" Sora asks as he gently peels himself off of her. "You're going to be Ms. Nice Guy? I thought we were going to go through auditions and hire a professional actress or something!"

"Ex-fucking-cuse me," Kairi says with mock offense. "I'll have you know that there's no one out there who can execute this plan better than I can, mister. How would I know? Because I came up with it. Now get ready, booboo," Kairi orders as she throws on a pair of sunglasses. "Mama's coming for you."

And when she begins to practice a variety of different accents before him, there is only one thing that crosses Sora's mind:

What had he gotten himself into?

tbc

How was it? Quite short, but I figured that's how a first chapter should be. I didn't want to bombard you guys with too much information all at once.

So lately, some readers have been disappointed to see that I only had one story posted (which is quite flattering, actually), so I decided to treat you guys with a mini side project. Here's to hoping that it'll continue to flow smoothly!

I hope you enjoyed the first installment of MNG! Please kindly leave a review to tell me what you thought and/or want to see in the upcoming chapters, I apologize for any grammatical errors that I might have missed, and I'll get started on the next chapter asap!

Thanks for reading!