A Helping Whitelighter
Willow watched out the window of the bus as it drove out of Sunnydale. Not that she noticed anything they passed. The grief in her heart made her numb to the world's beauty. It had only been a few days since she watched as her beautiful girlfriend Tara died in her arms from a stray bullet meant for her best friend Buffy.
In that moment, the grief she felt had overtaken all her senses. She called upon the god Osiris to bring her love back to life. The very same god she had called upon months before to resurrect Buffy, a feat that had been granted at the time. This time however, the god Osiris refused to grant Willow's request, stating Tara's death was natural not supernatural. Osiris's refusal turned her grief into a rage that released the magic she had allowed to dangerously build up in her system.
She had spent days collecting more power than any other Wiccan, killing to do so, all in an obsessive need for revenge. All her mind could think about was killing the man who had murdered her sweet Tara. Killing the man did nothing to sate the grief built in her chest, and that grief grew to an all-consuming point. With the dark magics flowing through her entire being, her logic was no longer there. The only way she could eliminate not only her pain, but the pain of all the beings she was feeling was to end the world.
Thankfully her longtime friend Xander had shown her that there was a reason for her to live. That there was a good reason for everybody to continue living. Unfortunately, all the magic she had consumed made her dangerous. Especially if she didn't learn how to properly control it. She knew there was a very real chance that the dark magic would latch onto the very worst of her and use that darkness to consume her.
She was supposed to be boarding a plane to England with Giles, instead of being on that bus. She knew she should be on that plane to England, but there was a promise she had to fulfill before she could go with him. One that could not wait.
She made a promise to Tara and she had to keep that promise. She had already failed her so much. She had hurt her in a way that would haunt her for the rest of her life, and still Tara accepted her back into her heart and life. Tara may be gone, but Willow was determined to do right by the woman she loved. To not take the gift Tara had given her for granted again.
Willow sighed as she turned her head away from the window. She looked down at her hand, rubbing her thumb over the worn key she was holding. The conversation she had with Giles was still fresh in her mind. Replaying on a loop, as the guilt for ditching the man rose within her.
"I know that this is hard Willow, but I think it is best for you to come with me to England. Normally I would leave this up to you, but considering the circumstances, I don't think it is wise for you to be making this decision for yourself," Giles said.
Willow stared at Giles from across the dining room table. She was unclear about what Giles was telling her. Given what she had just been through, it was understandable. It was a few minutes before she weakly asked, "Giles, what are you saying?"
"What I am trying to say, Willow, is that you are coming home with me to England," Giles said.
"And I don't get a choice?" She asked.
"No," he responded firmly.
"Because you don't trust my decisions?" She asked in a monotone voice. Giles did not respond to this question, however Willow took his silence as a no. "What do the other's think?" She asked, dreading the answer she was about to receive.
As he took his glasses off his face to clean them, he stated softly, "Buffy, Xander, and Dawn all think this is what is best for you as well."
She stared at the man for a few moments, before asking, "How long will I stay with you?"
"As long of time is needed for you to recover," Giles said cryptically.
Willow sat silent for a few minutes thinking thing over. She knew that there was no choice, but she had to do something before she went. She promised her, and this was a promise she was going to keep. No matter what the consequences are. "I'll go with you," she finally said. "But there is something I must do first, and I have to do it alone."
Giles looked at Willow trying to assess how to go about this without upsetting the woman across from him. Unfortunately, given the current situation there were not a lot of options. He settled on trying to talk her out of it. "Willow, I do not think it is wise for you to be off on your own at the moment. Whatever it is, surely it can wait until you return."
"No Giles. It can't wait. I made her a promise, and I'm going to keep it. I will not fail her again," she said forcefully, while choking back tears.
At the sight of the tears, Giles almost gave in to her, but he knew it was not an option. He got up from his chair and knelt next to her. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered in her ear, "She's gone Willow, and there is nothing you can do to change that. Tara would want you to take care of yourself first, before you fulfill her promise."
"She made me promise Giles. That morning, before she…" Her words got caught in her throat. "She made me promise her, Giles, if anything happened to her she wanted me to go to her mother's grave. She made me promise."
"Her mother's grave will still be there when you return. Right now, you have to go pack. We leave for England in the morning." He gave her a kiss on her head and then walked into the kitchen to make a cup of tea.
Willow sat in the dining room for a few minutes before going up to her room. She stood in the door way for half an hour before she worked up the courage to walk in. She quickly grabbed a few changes of clothing, a picture of her and Tara, and her laptop. She left a note for Giles on her bed, then quietly slipped out the front door.
Willow tucked the key safety back into her fist. She felt bad for skipping out on Giles, but she knew that she wouldn't be able to concentrate on controlling her magic until she fulfilled her promise to Tara. So, for now she would just add it to the already toppling list of things she felt guilty about.
~A Helping Whitelighter~
Paige bounced into the kitchen feeling more excited then she had in a very long time. Ever since her and her sisters Piper and Phoebe had decided to turn down the Angel of Destiny's offer to become mortal, she had been in a bit of a funk. She had been looking to expand her witch duties, but it seemed as though the demon community was taking a hiatus for the moment. No doubt still recuperating from losing yet another Source of All Evil.
It had been a boring couple of weeks, mostly because she had become so used to having her sisters around and fighting evil, that she didn't know what to do with herself. Still grieving over the loss of her love, Phoebe had thrown herself into her work. Paige was lucky if she got a few minutes a day to spend with her. Then there was Piper and Leo, both of whom had become baby crazed once they learned of their impending bundle of joy. She did get to spend more time with Piper than she did Phoebe, but there was only so much baby planning one person could take and Paige had reached that limit.
That's why she had been ecstatic when Leo orbed into the living room and announced that the Elders wanted to meet with her. Although, the meeting with the elders hadn't gone completely as she expected. She had been hoping for a solo demon to fight, which would allow her to expand her powers without relying on her sisters to be there. That's not why a meeting was called.
She only met with one elder, a woman who had been awfully cryptic as she explained what she was asking Paige to do. Instead of fighting a demon, she was being assigned a charge. A young woman who was going through a dark patch and needed some guidance while she was in the city. The only thing she told Paige about this woman was her name, and that she was on her way to San Francisco as they spoke.
Nevertheless, Paige was excited to have a charge, and a chance to expand her powers without her sisters. Her assignment may not involve her witch powers, but it did give her a chance to explore her whitelighter side.
Piper, who was standing at the stove cooking something that smelled delicious, jumped when Paige bounced in.
"Guess what!?" she exclaimed loudly.
Piper picked up the long wooden spoon that she dropped, and waved it front of Paige. "It's not nice to scare the pregnant lady," she scowled.
Paige snorted, "What are you gonna do if a demon attacks? Wave your spoon at them?"
Piper smirked. "No. I'll blow it up and then go back to cooking." Piper moved to the sink to wash the spoon. "So, what has you so excited?"
"The Elders gave me a charge!" Paige exclaimed excitedly.
Piper turned from the sink sharply. She had not been expecting that to be Paige's news. She thought that Paige had finally earned a promotion at her job at the South Bay Social Services. "Really?"
Paige's whole body seemed to deflate at Piper's questioning tone. "Thanks for the vote of confidence sis."
Piper felt bad. She hadn't meant her question to sound so negative. She smiled at her sister as she moved back to the stove. As she stirred the pot of chili, she replied, "That's not how I meant it. I have complete faith that you will be a great whitelighter. I just meant that it's sudden. You are just getting used to your Charmed destiny, and you haven't had any training for whitelighter duties. Leo said they trained him for three earth years before they gave him his first charge, and even than he was being shadowed by another lighter for the first few months."
Paige sat down on the stool across from Piper, looking a little lighter then she had moments before. "Maybe because I was trained in Social Services and spent a year fighting evil with you and Phoebe, they don't think it's needed. Plus, I do kind of have a whitelighter shadow, since Leo is my brother-in-law."
"True," Piper stated, and then passed a spoonful of chili across the island for Paige to try. Paige accepted the spoon, tasting the contents greedily, moaning slightly as she did. Piper smiled at Paige's reaction. Cooking was her passion but doing so as a career always got pushed to the back burner. Not the she minded most of the time. She loved working at the club, and the money that it brought in was very nice. She still hoped to open her own restaurant one day, but for the time being, she enjoyed cooking for her family. Especially when she got a response like that.
"Who is your charge?" Piper asked, as she passed a bowl full of chili across the island.
Paige gratefully accepted the bowl. "Her name is Willow Rosenberg. The only thing I know about her is that her lover just died, and that she is on her way to San Francisco to fulfill a promise."
"Can you sense her?"
"A little," Paige said. "It's kind of like you and Phoebe. It's like you're there at the back of my mind, but I only really sense you if your calling for me."
Piper sat next to Paige with her own bowl of chili and handed her sister a chunk of fresh garlic bread. "You never told us you can sense us."
"How do you think I was able to respond to your calls?"
Piper looked at Paige blankly. "I don't know. I never really thought about it."
"I didn't really notice it at first, but the bond has been growing as we've gotten closer. Leo said that in time all I'll have to do is think about you, and I'll know exactly where you are and if you are alright."
"I wish I could do that. It would save me a lot of time worrying about you and Phoebe," Piper stated.
Paige went to say something to Piper when she suddenly heard a voice in her head. "Woah," she said as she grabbed her head. "That was weird."
Piper looked at Paige with confusion written on her face. "What was?"
"Voices in my head," Paige said, burrowing her eyebrows as she pointed to her head. "I gotta go. Thanks for lunch."
Paige orbed away, leaving her sister alone once more. She looked to the half-eaten bowl of chili and sighed. She was worried about Paige. She still marveled at the fact it had been less than a year since Paige came into their lives. So much had changed since Prue died, and as much as she missed her big sister, she was grateful to have Paige in her life. She loved her new baby sister, and she would be damned if she allowed something to take her away her.
~A Helping Whitelighter~
Paige orbed into the San Francisco Memorial Gardens, and looked around, surprised to find herself in the graveyard where her parent were buried. She glanced around to make sure nobody had seen her and was grateful to see that there was only one other person in the graveyard. A redheaded woman who was slowly walking through the graveyard scanning the headstones.
Paige knew right away that this woman was her charge. First and foremost, she could feel the magic radiating off the petite woman in waves. The energy surrounding her was overpowering. She hadn't felt anything like it since they defeated the Source. The vanquish had sent out a blast of energy that she had been able to feel.
The magical energy the woman was sending off was powerful, which is why she almost missed the second reason she knew this woman was her charge. There was a gentle pull she felt when she laid her eyes upon Willow, begging her to get closer. It was like they were linked somehow.
As badly as she wanted to, Paige refrained from heading over to the redhead. Something inside of her told her to wait. Instead she settled on watching Willow as she searched for a grave. It was a little while before she finally stopped at a grave nestled a under an old maple tree.
Paige moved so that she could see Willow's face, but still remained out of her sight. Willow kneeled down in front of the tombstone, and for a moment Paige marveled at how hauntingly beautiful Willow looked. The sun was just beginning to dip from the sky, casting a golden stream of light over Willow, causing her red hair to shimmer brightly, but the look on her face reflected how tortured her soul was. She was pale with dark circles around her eyes, and her face was sunken in, as though she hadn't eaten in days. Her beautiful green eyes were dim, like the light had been sucked out of them, with unshed tears welled in them. Despite her haunting looks, Paige could tell that when Willow was whole, she was a beautiful woman.
She didn't know who Willow was visiting, but Paige could understand the pain of losing somebody you love. She had lost both her parent in a car accident when she was a teenager. She had spent years guilt ridden over their deaths, believing that it was her fault their car crashed that fateful day, and it was only when Leo brought her parents spirits for a visit just a few months before, that she was able to come to terms with their passing.
Paige moved a few feet closer, slipping behind an ancient tombstone sculpted in the shape of an angel. The base of the statue came to just a few inches shorter than Paige, with the angel's feet level with her head, affording her the opportunity to hid herself while still being able to see and hear what Willow was doing.
She watched as Willow brushed off fallen leaves off the grave marker, and then traced her fingers over the name displayed on the plaque.
"Hello Mrs. McClay," Willow said softly, but Paige was still able to hear. Though in that moment she suddenly wished she had stayed far enough away so she couldn't. Willow's voice was gravely, portraying her tortured soul even more then her haunting looks did. It cut through Paige's heart like a knife.
"I'm Willow, but you probably already knew that. I'm sure Tara is telling you all about me. She missed you." Willow kneeled there in silence for a moment. "I miss her, but I suppose you know how I feel. While I've been able to spend time with her, you've been away from her."
She paused again, and for a moment Paige thought Willow was finally going to shed the tears welling in her eyes. It became clear that wasn't going to happened Willow pulled a hand shovel out of her tan satchel.
"Tara wants me to dig something up. She said it meant a lot to you and her. She made me promise to come and get it if anything happened to her." Willow paused for again and this time Paige could see Willow trying to fight back the tears. "I love Tara so much. Please take care of her for me."
Willow slowly dug a hole to the right of the grave marker, and the slowly pulled out a wooden box wrapped in clear plastic bag. She unwrapped the box and set it in front of her. Instead of getting up and leaving, she sat cross-legged on next to the grave marker.
~A Helping Whitelighter~
The sun had disappeared from the sky without Willow noticing. When she decided to skip out on Giles to fulfill her promise to Tara, she didn't consider how hard opening the box would be. She still hadn't fully accepted that she would never see her love again and opening that box would make it real. Fully and completely real in her mind.
That wasn't the only thing that was stopping her however. There was large part of her that felt unworthy of sharing this piece of Tara. She had screwed up so badly with Tara with her abuse of her magic. She had hurt Tara worse than anybody else, and yet she had forgiven her. She had taken her back, and the first thing she had done when she died was disrespect her memory by becoming the very thing Tara had feared would happen. She had put a stain on her soul when she killed Rack and Warren in cold blood.
Willow was so engrossed in her thoughts, she didn't hear Paige approaching her until she was towering over her. She flinched in shock and fear, causing what little control she had over her magic to slip. Her eyes turned black as the dark magic rose to the surface. She raised her hand and sent Paige flying through the air, landing a few yards away.
Willow stood gracefully and advanced on Paige's limp form, her sunlight spell already on her lips. As she whispered the spell (though there really was no need, Paige's limp form turned into blue orbs and disappeared.
Willow, realizing that the woman was not a vampire, began reining in her magic. It was in that moment that she realized Giles had been right. It was too soon for her to be out in the world by herself. She needed somebody to ground her when she began to slip, and to bring her back down to Earth when she lost control.
Her breathing became shallow and fast as she struggled to bring her magic back into her reserves. She fell to her knees and screamed out in anguish.
She didn't realize the woman had wrapped her arms around her until she heard her whisper, "It's alright, just breath. It'll be okay." Her screams turned to tears as the magic rescinded, and she became more aware of the woman holding her. Warmth was flowing off her in waves, reminding her of Tara. Her words were soft and comforting.
After a few minutes she could feel her magic slip back into her control, though she was more aware of how delicate that control was. She kneeled there with Paige wrapped around her for a few more moments, basking in the comforting aura surrounding the stranger.
"I'm okay now," she said softly, with guilt laced in the words.
Paige slowly backed away from Willow, ready to resume the position if need be. "Are you sure?"
Willow turned to face the stranger. She gave her a forced smile. "No but thank you for calming me."
That's when she saw it, shimmering in the moonlight, the gash on Paige's forehead, and the blood running down her face. She brought her hand up to touch the wound but pulled back at the last second. Flashes of the last few days filtered into her mind. Her holding Tara's limp body in her arms; the blood that seeped from Rack's ears when she sucked the magic out of his body; Warren's skinless body still strung up and the horrible looks on her friends faces.
Guilt and fear settled on her chest. She backed away from Paige, tripping over her bag. "I should go." Willow picked up the box and her bag, then turned to Paige. "I'm sorry I hurt you," she said, and then turned and ran as fast as she could out of the cemetery leaving Paige standing there wondering what to do.
~A Helping Whitelighter~
Paige orbed into the kitchen of the manor unsteadily, holding her sleeve to the wound that was still bleeding quite profusely. She looked down at her soaked sleeve in annoyance. She had not even realized that she was hurt until Willow noticed. Her only focus was on calming the young witch.
She roughly grabbed a dish rag from the draw next to the sink and then slammed it shut in frustration. She put the rag to the wound and lean against the counter, huffing loudly as she did.
"Leo," she yelled, expecting the whitelighter to orb to her side. Instead he walked into the kitchen with Piper by his side.
Piper's eyes widened when she saw the state Paige was in. "What happened?"
Paige sighed, "She attacked me."
"What!? Why?" Piper shrieked.
"I think she thought I was a demon," said Paige as she removed the rag to allow Leo access to the wound. He hovered his hand over her forehead and after a few moments she could feel her skin knitting back together and her headache ease. "I startled her, and she sent me flying. That's how I got the cut. I orbed away when she advanced on me. She must have realized I wasn't evil because she started freaking out. It looked like her magic was hurting her."
"Did you calm her?" Leo asked eagerly.
"For about a minute," Paige scoffed. "Then she saw the blood and freaked again. She took off before I could process what to do."
Leo laid his hand on Paige's shoulder. "You were able to calm her once. That means you made a connection with her. You'll figure out how to get through her defenses."
Paige sighed, "I just wish I knew a little bit about her. It might make this easier to do."
"Sometimes having the facts doesn't make getting through to a person easier. It can actually muddle things a bit. It sure did when it comes to you girls. It took time for me to get to know your sisters before I even approached them, and when I did, it wasn't as a whitelighter, it was as a handyman."
"So, you think I approached her too soon?" Paige asked.
"No. You have a very small window to help Willow, and I…"
Paige put her hand up to interrupt the man. "What aren't you telling me?"
"What do you mean?"
Paige glared at Leo. "I never told you my charge's name, and what's this about having a small window to help her?"
"Oh. That. Well. You see," he stumbled. He finally huffed, "I don't know a lot about her."
"Well… What do you know Leo?" Piper pressed.
Leo looked trapped, unsure of what to do. "Err… Willow is a special witch. She isn't a natural born witch like you guys are. She is a Wiccan. Not all Wiccan's get a whitelighter, because most are just believers or low-level practitioners. It takes years to build up the kind of power it requires to even put a witch on the Elder's radar, and generations of magical use before the magic begins to fuse with a family's genetic structure. Willow only started practicing the craft a few years ago and has since grown incredibly strong."
"Exactly how strong has she grown?" Paige asked as she touched her forehead. "I felt liked my entire body had been jolted by electricity."
"Almost as powerful as the Charmed power. Her magic has resonated though the universe a few times over the last few years, but the last few days have been like a comic surge calling out for help.
"How can magic call out for help?"
"Magic is an extension on the person wielding it. Piper, do you remember when we were trying to fight Belthazar? You, Prue, and Phoebe got into that big fight causing a rift in the Power of Three."
"Yeah. We lost our powers." Realization crossed Piper's face. "And you knew before we did."
"That's because your magic resonated through the universe, shaking the very foundation of the heavens. There are other times that they have been able to feel your phenomenal power. Like when the power of three was reconstituted, and when you defeated the Source."
"Which time?" Paige snorted sarcastically.
"All of them," Leo answered missing her sarcasm.
"If she is so powerful, then why are the sending me as her Whitelighter. Wouldn't somebody more experienced be better suited?"
"Normally I would say yes, but this isn't a normal situation."
"Damn it Leo, stop pussyfooting around it. What are you not telling me?"
"I really shouldn't be telling you this," Leo sighed heavily. "I won't go into details, but Willow is reeling from a bout of truly dark magic. She spent several days literally absorbing dark magics from anywhere she could. Book's, objects, other magical practitioners, all to avenge the death of her girlfriend."
"She absorbed the magic. How can you absorb magic?" Piper asked.
The are books and items that are imbued with magic. Willow was able to basically suck that magic from the books and all the information in them as well."
"How did her girlfriend die?" Paige asked.
"A stray bullet meant for Willow's best friend," Leo said, then put his hand up. "That's all I can say."
"I should go to her," Paige said and threw the rag in the sink. "I'll see you guys later."
~A Helping Whitelighter~
Willow decided that she wasn't ready to go back to Sunnydale just yet; instead she got a motel room. She was currently sitting on her bed with her legs crossed, staring at the box in front of her. She had not moved from that position in three hours.
"What are you, and why are you following me?" Willow demanded angrily to no one.
Paige materialized at the foot end of Willow's bed. After speaking with Leo, she decided to orb into the heaven to get the answers she wanted straight from the source. They reluctantly agreed and gave her all the information Paige needed to help Willow.
"My name is Paige Matthews and I'm a whitelighter. Your whitelighter. Well half-whitelighter."
"Tara told me about whitelighters," Willow said sadly, almost to herself. She looked up at Paige. "How can you be half-whitelighter?"
"My mother was a witch and my father was a whitelighter."
"Why are you here?
"I'm here to help you," Paige said.
"I don't deserve to be helped," Willow said darkly and then looked down at the box. "Tara said only high-powered good witches or witches born with the power earned whitelighters. Why are you assigned to me?"
"Because you are a high-powered good witch," Paige said.
Willow laughed, though there was no life in the laugh. It was cold and emotionless. "I guess whoever sent you here hasn't been paying very close attention to me lately. Maybe they are unaware of the men I murdered or the world I almost destroyed."
Paige sucked in her breath lightly in a strangled gasp.
"Or perhaps they are, and they just didn't tell you."
"The Elders are cryptic and rarely give straight answers," Paige sighed. "Although they wouldn't have sent me if they didn't see the good you can do. My sisters and I have all given into the dark side a few times, but someone always brings us back. Someone must have brought you back from the brink, if you're here now."
Willow bit her lip and then smiled lightly, "My friend Xander saved me. We've been friends since kindergarten." A dark looked crossed her face. "He only had to save me because I couldn't control my magic. I let it consume me. I let the darkness take over. It would have been better if they had just killed me."
"I don't believe that," Paige said adamantly. "You were saved for a reason, and yeah, so you went a little dark for a while. That doesn't diminish all the good you've done or all the good you will do. How many people have been helped by your magic, Willow? Does the good not far outweigh the bad?" Paige asked.
"Not if it hurts the people I care about the most," Willow said.
"Then how about all the times you've save the people you love. How many times did your magic save your friends lives? Would your best friend be here right now, if you had not used your magic to bring her back?" Paige countered.
"If you know about me bringing Buffy back, then you know I wasn't saving her. I ripped her from heaven where she was safe and happy."
"Back to her sister, who didn't have any family left."
"Dawn would have dealt. She's a good kid. She would have adapted, especially with Tara there for her."
"She only had Tara in her life because you used you magic to return her sanity?" Paige pointed out.
"And she died because of it," Willow growled.
"Or she got to spend a year of her life with you and Dawn and Buffy and Xander and Anya."
"We would have found another way to get her back," Willow said.
"Maybe, but do you really believe that, or is that something you just tell yourself?" Paige asked.
"All I did was hurt her after I brought her. She broke up with me because of my magic. If I hadn't of been using my magic then Tara would have been fine," Willow yelled and got off the bed and advanced on Paige. She took a few breaths and then turned around. "It doesn't matter anymore. She's gone and I'm not going to use my power's anymore."
"You cannot just stop using them. They are a part of you now, just like mine are. The magic will build up in your system until something breaks it free. Just like it did a few days ago," Paige said.
Willow looked at Paige like she grown a second head. "I let the magic out. It didn't break free. I let it out, and I hurt every person I love."
"No. The magic built up in your system, until it found a weak moment when you let your guard down, and it escaped. Then it consumed you. You have to learn to control your magic," Paige explained. "That's why I'm here. My bosses sent me to help you through this step in your recovery. To help move you toward your future, and It starts with that box. You cannot move forward until it's open."
Willow looked at the box. Tears started to well up in her eyes as she said, "I can't open it. If I open it, then it means she really gone."
"She is gone Willow. Not opening that box will not change that. You have to accept that. She wanted you to dig that up. Honor her wishes and open it. See what she wanted you to have," Paige said.
"I can't open it. I've been trying to for hours," Willow cried. "I want to honor her, but I can't open it."
"Yes, you can. I'll stay with you. You don't have to do it alone," Paige said.
"I don't even know you. How can I know this isn't a trick? How do I know you aren't a bad guy?" Willow accused.
"When we meet earlier; you felt the good in me," Paige stated.
"No, I didn't," Willow denied. She wasn't sure what she had been feeling at the cemetery.
"Then why didn't you attack me? Why did you run away when you saw that you accidentally hurt me?" Paige asked; knowing that she was finally breaking through Willow barriers, by the look on the red heads face.
"I don't know what it was. I just felt calm with you there," Willow replied.
"And now; what are you sensing my me now?" Paige asked.
"I don't know," Willow responded.
"Then trust your instincts and trust me. Open the box," Paige said calmly.
Willow looked at Paige for a minute before, moving the box closer to her. She flipped the latch up, and slowly opened the top. A fresh batch of tears welled in her eyes, when she saw what was laying on the very top. She picked the picture up, and the broke down for the first time since she was in Xander's arms on Kingman's Bluff. Paige sat down on the bed next to her and wrapped her arms around the younger woman. She held Willow close and let her cry.
It was an hour before Willow calmed down. Paige looked down at the picture in Willow's hand. "She's beautiful."
"Yes, she is," Willow replied. "I thought I lost this picture when we moved into Buffy's house. It's the only one I had of us kissing," Willow chuckled sadly. "We were watching Buffy's younger sister one night while she was out patrolling. Dawn came downstairs to get a drink and found us making out on the couch. We didn't realize she was there until we heard the camera go off."
"That's sweet," Paige said. "What else is in there?"
Willow placed the picture next to the box, and then slowly looked into the small box. Three things remained in the box, a book, a crystal, and an envelope. Willow smiled as she picked up the crystal. "It's the dolls eye crystal Tara gave me our freshman year. Buffy gave it back to her after I quit using magic," she told Paige, as she showed her the crystal.
Willow picked the book up out of the box. The book was old and worn. Willow was barely able to read it title, 'Earth Magic.' She placed the book next to her on the bed and picked up the envelope out of the box.
The envelope had Willow's name on it. "That's Tara's writing," she told Paige.
"Read it," Paige said.
"I don't think I can," Willow replied.
"Sure, you can, Willow. You didn't think you could open the box, but you did that," Paige pushed.
"No. I can't," Willow said, as tears welled in her eye's once again. "Will… will you read it to me please?"
Paige looked hesitant for a moment, before she gently took the envelope out of Willow's hands. She slowly opened the it up and took out the sheet of paper.
"My dearest Willow," She began. In Willow mind Paige's voice faded away as she read the letter, replaced by Tara's.
"If you are reading this, then I am no longer in this world. I am happy to know that you have kept your promise to me. I know I made you promise before we broke up, but I am adding a few things to the box. First off is the book my mother gave to me. We would read it and practice the spells together for hours. I buried it right before she died, to keep it safe from my Father. I want you to have it. Second is the picture Dawn took of us kissing. I found it while I was unpacking a couple of days ago. I know it was your favorite picture. Lastly is the dolls eye crystal. Buffy returned it to me today. I was happy to find out that you were no longer practicing, but not for the reason you think. You have amazing power, Willow. Power that I know will one day save the world, when nothing else will. That is why you had to stop practicing. I had hoped that I could get you to understand that you were using your powers too much, but when you put the Tabula Rasa spell on us, I knew you were too far gone. Only when you hit rock bottom would you be able to pull yourself back up, and onto the right path. I didn't want to break up with you, but I knew I was standing in the way of that. I hope that down the road I will be able to help you learn the basics and get you onto that path again. If I died before I had the chance to, I am sorry. My wish for you is to learn with people who will teach you what my mother taught me. I also hope that we can be together again. You are the light that shown in the darkness. The light that was missing since my mother passed. You brought me so much happiness, and I hope you can find the same. Don't be afraid to find love again. It is a precious thing and we never know how long we really have here on Earth. You deserve to be happy. Don't ever think that you don't. If my death was not natural, don't blame yourself. I know you Willow. I know that is exactly what you are doing as you read this letter, and I also know that if you could have stopped it you would have. My death is not your fault. I love you, Willow, and I will always be there for you. In the wind, sun, air, and in your heart. Goodbye my sweet Willow tree. Love, Tara."
Tears fell heavily down her face, as Tara's word sunk slowly into her mind. She knew in her heart that Tara was right, and she knew what she had to do.
"Thank you. I don't know how long I would have sat here watching that box if you hadn't come. Whatever the reason you're here, thank you. I know what I have to do," she said. Willow looked up at Paige, who sat quietly watching the redhead, with tears streaming down he own face. A small smile slipped on to her face.
"I'm glad I could help," Paige told her. "What is it that you have to do?"
"Giles wants to take me to England. I don't know what is in store for me there, but I'm hoping whatever it is will fulfill Tara's wishes." Willow replied.
Paige gently took Willow's hand. "I know you don't see it right now, but everything happens for a reason. Even when you think it was your fault, it wasn't. I had to learn that the hard. Trust in yourself and in the love you have for your friends. They'll help you get through this."
"What about you?"
"I'll be here. If you ever need me, just call out my name and I'll be there. I should go. I think you'll be okay, but if you need me, don't hesitate to call."
"Thank you," Willow said with a weak smile.
Willow sat there quietly for a few moments, before placing the thing back in the box, and headed back to Sunnydale.
~A Helping Whitelighter~
Half an hour later, after stopping by the Manor to let Piper know how it went with Willow, Paige orbed into the heavens to meet with the elders again.
"You did well, Paige. As we speak Willow is on her way back to Sunnydale," said a female elder with short curly blond hair.
"Are you going to tell me why I was sent on this mission," Paige asked, not understanding why it was here who got Willow instead of a season whitelighter.
A male elder mimicked what Paige told Willow just before she left, "When the time is right, you will know. Please keep an ear out for Willow. I have a feeling the young woman will be calling upon you for assistance in the near future."
"And that's it? I'm just supposed to wait until she needs me. Not even allowed to know what this was all for, or how she is doing." Paige wondered.
"That's it for now," said the blond elder. "Go back to your life. Help your sister prepare for the new life growing inside her. When Willow needs you, she will call."
"Fine. Goodbye," she said, and then orbed home to her sisters.
"Are we sure, she was the right choice for this task, and not a veteran whitelighter?" another male elder asked.
"Yes, she may not know it now, but she will make a great whitelighter once her Charmed Destiny is fulfilled. She has proven to be very capable. Her first assignment and she succeeded in one day," the blond elder said.
"Yes, she did very well," agreed another female elder. How long do you think it will be until she's back up here, asking about the young woman?
"I give her a day," chuckled the blond elder.