Warning: this is an M rated fic. It has language, death, Shota, and hints at rape (without going that far, as to include a full blown rape scene, but the suggestion of the past experience is enough.) This fic leans far towards the "Adult Content" lable, so, yeah. If you're a wuss, get disturbed easily, or your parents would not be happy to find you reading this, please go be somewhere... else... or at least turn off the darn monitor before you walk away from the computer... or minimize it lol geez. XD (knows that no one is going to listen to her.) rolls eyes
Authors Babbling Area: Der schwarzen Mann is German lol to people who don't know... meh, it transelates roughly... It's probably more like Shadowman or something... The Boogeyman would be the closest to perfect transelation, but that just would sound like a cheesey stupid thing that no one wants to read. People would click on the fic thinking
"Hoo, boy... This is going to be some funny ass Solon bashing!" XD I think you get the idea...
Rather than break this one up into chapters, I've decided to keep the whole thing together as one whole story. I actually wrote this a long long time ago... I was re-reading this peice and the setup of Crypticgirl's fics came into my mind... the idea that Solon never died... and I hated myself for the comparison, but it sounded like I could alter the piece to make it into a fanfic. I hated myself for altering it... cause even though Jay is in the first person here, and the end is added in, the original piece that remains unadapted to fit T.O.L. is written in a diary of dreams. I'm sorry... that's the only reason I wouldn't upload it before... but I went back and proofread it again and changed some phrasing around and looked at it again. I just threw up my hands and said,
"Ah, what the hell. clicks submit"
It's a bit overly dramatic, I suppose... but it's meant to be disturbing. I wanted to capture the feel, the whole WORLD of a dream... keeping to the original storyline. Making him wake up at the same part. Keeping the story in place was a challenge, and I made sure not to write anything too graphic. There's some things you put extraodinary detail, and effort into... and then there are the things one should try and stay away from writing, else the reader will be too irked to read on lol In other words, I tryed to use simple words at some parts, and emphasize other things. I dunno if I did my job right though, lol so please do review. I like good reviews. They make me feel smart. XD
Do enjoy... or... not enjoy... or... something... Hope noone is too O.O.C. Heh.
Disclaimer: None of the characters in this fanfiction belong to me in any way, they are totaly Namco's, and I don't claim to own them in any way. I wish I did, but I don't. Please don't sue me. XD
Setting: At night at the Bandits lair. Not in Werites Beacon, lol Moses decided to move his idiots back into the old hideout. Cause I said so.
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Shadows everywhere... I couldn't stand it. I'm like the goth of the party... I'm supposed to be dark... im supposed to be menacing, unnaproachable. That kind of kid.
I'm supposed to be... the fearless one... the one that the oresoren can look up to. I am the guardian, rather than the guarded... and I'm not supposed to be afraid of the dark.
I'm not supposed to be laying here, awake... terrifyed. It's been so many years, and I am supposed to forget all about it I swore to myself, that it didn't effect me... I laughed it off, saying "I didn't know what was going on... i was a kid"
The days go by so normally, ike it never even happened... but by night... I am stil afraid.
Just then the door made that infernal squeel that it makes every time someone opens it, and my heart stood still. A small beam of light raced across the floor and a shape i recognized as a mans head appeared between the door crack. I shook the red head lying next to me and whispered
"Oh god... Moses... MOSES!" i looked back at the man at the door, ... he slithered throught the door like a reptile, holding a foreign object in his hand that i couldnt quite make out. I didn't care WHO he was, and I wasn't going to ask. We should fight.
I smacked Moses in the head, and insisted "MOSES!" but he didn't move.
I had feared secretly for the past years that in the shadows of the night, one of these days something was going to come in my room... something evil.. I had no idea why I thought like this but it scared me like nothing ever has before... and now something WAS coming through the door, someone, and I was trapped in the corner, caged in like an animal by the bedframe thing and the wall... (Which I have always known that it's not for decoration, secretly, it keeps that stupid bandit from falling out of bed)
and that something... had turned out to be HIM.
"Solon..." my eyes grew wider as he stepped through the doorway.
No, I can't be seeing this! It's not real, I know it's not real... I've said to myself at night, to stay on my guard so many times...
The nightmare comes back to haunt me once again. I wanted so much, now to beleive it was just my imagination, but i couldn't... and this was real.
He de-gloved himself and threw aside that hair thing he always wore, and his blonde locks swung down, his hair looked much longer than you would have thought, when it came out of the clasp. he walked slowly... slowly into the room, turning around and locking the door. Before the yellow light on the floor from the torch outside receded, i caught a glimpse of what he had in his hand... it was a drill, and something told me he wasn't in here to fix something... another thing told me, that that drill had probably already 'taken care' of the rest of the bandits in the lair, and it sure as hell wasn't a little birdie. You can kill with a drill, and I knew he'd use anything. I must not have heard it, wrapped up in my thoughts like that. I wanted to yell out again, to wake Moses up but my throat was like a dessert, and i couldn't force the slightest sound. They say that it's possible for you to become so upset, or so scared that you become temporarily mute. I wondered if it was possible for it to be permanent. I breathed hard in the back of my throat but not so much as a croak came out. I shook my idiot weakly again, now on my knees, and trapped in a corner with no way to go. by now I had realized that he was not breathing, and I looked up with horrifyed eyes, as that lunatic drew closer and closer... I knew I should have said something to someone... I should have got him put in jail, or something. Hung, burned at the stake, whatever was closer - the gallows or the stake. damn me, for being scared. damn me for keeping quiet... damn me to hell for being afraid of master.
I was going to die for being so stupid... but, I thought, most likely... not quite... yet... I felt my breathing involuntarily hastening, and my muscles tensed, ready for an attack that I would never recover from shock enough to deal. All of a sudden I was on acid, and the bedframe warped, and bended around us. It didn't just FEEL like I was in a cage anymore. Trapped like a rat.
He put the drill aside, and climbed onto the bed.
I could have kicked him in the face, but leg refused to move. I could have reached in my pocket for my kunai, and easily slit his throat on the spot. But all my muscles suddenly figured they could just ignore what my brain was telling them to do. Paralysed.
It was like i was tied down by the tendrils of my own fear. Emotional bondage. In my head, I heard the voices of Shirley, Walter, Senel and Maurits, and I was back at the wings of light inside. Their voices were nearly inaudible. Blurred and slurred, but then Senels voice came in clear going, "Damnit body... move!
Solon sat up on his knees and pulled off his shirt like this was some everyday thing. Solon rarely bothered to say "hi" to me when he showed up before, or came in to heckle about my slow progress during training. He usually started out with an order, but it seemed that to him, the occasion required no greeting. Casual.
And he turned and smiled at me. Not his usual smile either. It wasn't even a smirk - it was something far, far more disturbing. It may have even looked cute and sweet, if he was about a hundred years younger. oh no... he's going to... going to... why can't he just disapear, or turn around and decide to leave the hideout? Why can't this be a dream?
Why does he have to do this? ...Why does he have to do it AGAIN.
I thought he was dead... Did he just up and traveled all this way, found out exactly where I was, and go through all this trouble to...? To...? ...Why?
...To fulfill one dream... if a ninja could not have dreams, and hopes, he'd say to me, "same thing" ...a dream that would make all my nightmares come true... Again... I'll never be able to look a man in the eye again... That's how it was before.
I could't beleive what was happening, then to worsen the stress of the situation, i suddenly remembered that he had a drill with him and my heart stopped again. I thought, maybe I'd die before he killed me. Finaly, i could scream again, and I took full advantage of it, and screamed louder than i even thought possible of a boy with a soft voice. I didn't care if I sounded like a girl, or anything. I looked like one, so what's the difference?
He cursed and lunged forward, clamping a rough hand down over my mouth and placing the other on my shoulder. I wrung my head from side to side, trying to shake him off, while I was still only half out of shock. It hurt to move, and It seemed like I ws moving slower, like as I was under water.
I jerked my body, puhing him upwards, and when he shoved back into me to restrain me, I clamped down with my teeth on the tender skin near the thumb of his palm.
He howled and drew the stinging hand back in pain, I caught a glimpse of a streak of blood that streamed down the side of his wrist. He growled angrily through a set of gross yellow clenched teeth. I never remembered him as having bad teeth, and bad breath. I had counted only 7 months since I saw him last, and I have no idea how they could possibly get that bad that fast. Since he turned out to be still alive, I could assume they decided to die without him.
As ugly as he is, his teeth never really looked too bad. In fact, I remember he had the mouth of a movie star - straight, white, perfect. His face made one think he'd have bad breath and gum disease, but he looked like he could have been a dentist. He'd make one ugly dentist.
I can move again! I realized and sprung, up backing up against the wall. Away from him. Solon stood up on the matress as well in response, a lust for revenge in his golden eyes. It was then that I realized what such a bad move that had been.
He reached to grab my wrist and hold me against the wall, but i smacked his hand off, defiantly preparing to dive to the side in a minute, out of reach, so I could run. I needed to somehow wait until I could manage get his guard down... No... this is my only chance, I thought... I have to get out of here. Now.
I held my fists clenched tight together, and counted milliseconds.. one...two... three.
and leaped in the direction of the bed's foot. I felt an arm snap around my waist in midair, and I choked in surprise.
three hard strickes to my ass and I was thrown back into the corner on the matress with my wrists pinned above my head, and he straddled me The stradle was incredibly forceful, he was making sure I was held firmly against the wall.
Solon backhanded me across the face and then with his other he contrarily caressed my rising and falling chest. The slap stung, while the toutch felt discustingly loving and intimate.
I whined, and struggled pathetically, not daring to scream again.
I closed my eyes tight, willing my self to wake up from this nightmare... hoping it WAS a nightmare... willing my heart to cease to beat. This heart of mine has gone so numb before, so that it hurts. I guess that's pretty hard to understand.
A mouth of greyish-tan lips, faltered just in front of mine, and then kissed me roughly, but passionately.
His kiss held even more passion, in fact, than that stupid bandit. Not that I ever could expect him to have any kind of skill at it, whatsoever. It was a totaly different emotion though. It's called no emotion. Pure lust, without love.
Then a vagually familiar feeling washed over me. Like the chills. I felt a hand on my knee. That same feeling from before, the same hand, just a different day. A different year. This was exactly the same as the first time. I never forgot any of them. It was like an old movie that I could feel, being played back on the silver screen.
Exactly the same.
"Not again... please... no, no... not again..." I panted. He smiled like he devil; Moved up; Massaged my thigh; Observing me in my panic, and loving it more every moment. He tipped my chin upwards so I had to look him in the eye. I was only making it better for him, and I knew it... but I could still hope to draw out any sympathy that might be left inside him. There's probably none. "S..stop!" I yelled kicking with that leg, trying to shake him off. The hand slided slowly up my leg.
His two fingers pused open the button of the jeans I borrowed from Csaba -this was actually totaly unplanned, and I failed to remember to bring a change of clothing this time. - and his hand entered, pushing the zipper along as he moves further downwards.
My groaning protest was soon muffled by the older mans lips. He put his leg up and over my free one binding it, fully restraining me everywhere but my toes.
I wouldn't give up, and kept on protesting and screaming before he eventually got pissed off. He broke the kiss. I glared up at him viciously and got a raised eyebrow response. He got off and I blinked surprisedly at the action. And then he turned around and retrieved the drill which reved as he held the button "No!" I choked. I pushed myself back hard against the wall, my eyes dartnig back and forth searching for a way to escape to no avail. I screamed, and the lunatic lowered himself on me once more holding the end of the drill above the atery in my neck. While holding me down, he pressed the button once more.
"AAAH!" I shot up and grabbed onto the first thing i could find next to me. It just so happened to turn out to be a certain stupid bandit. I blinked a few times, getting used to the sudden sunlight invading my eyesight, and caught my breath.
He put an arm around my head, patting my back reasuringly.
"Easy Jay. You were havin' yourself a bit of a nightmare there, but you're okay. I'm here"
He moved my hair out of my face, looking into my fearful eyes. Could that really be you, Moses?
"Moses... you're here." "Well, no frickin' duh I'm here... this is mah place, remember? You're at a sleepover." I fell into his chest, and sobbed. He felt real, and warm. Looked just like the real Moses, and smelled like a bandit should.
Then I pulled back suddenly and checked his pulse. He was fine. Alive. He was real.
"You idiot!" I slapped him in his face for that comment.
"Aw, what the hell, man!" he rubbed his cheek and looked back over his shoulder, where I could see Norma was sitting on the zebra skinned rug, grinning at us.
"Where the hell did YOU come from!?" I snapped, not appreciating her presence during this whole thing. She shrugged and rolled her eyes.
"Well, I can see you're just perfectly fine now..." she mumbled. I sighed.
"And so is Moses, I can see..." I paused, and then added under my breath,
"Unfortunately"
His chin, and silly looking frown dropped lower on his face, while Norma on the other hand busted up laughing.
"Now wait just a minute! Just What is THAT supposed to mean!?" Moses stood up over me with his arms crossed.
"It means I'd rather go back to sleep and have another nigthmare, than wake up to you and you're butthead grin in my face!" I lied, with a smile of my own on my face. It seemed to get Moses off my case about the dream, and it was always so much fun to make him angry. This entertained Norma as well.
"Ahahaha... haha red... hahaha!" I frowned. "I'm not really... that funny, am I? Or is it just that Norma's a wackjob?" I turned to Moses. He just shook his head and glared.
"I didn't find that very funny, Jay." he said trying to make his voice sound serious.
"Well, no matter." I flicked my hair out of my face, and shrugged.
"It was a nightmare about YOU anyhow..." I lied again for the sake of humor. His mouth fell open in surprise, and then he bore his teeth like an angry lesser pup.
"Hahahaaaa! Red I think you worked him a bit too hard last night hahaha!" Both our eyes bugged out after hearing that. Norma laughing, went on:
"Haha you're making him have scary dreams about you, red. hooo"
She teased. Moses spun around to face her, now.
"Now wait just a minute!" Norma, sensing his anger jumped back and hid behind the table on the other side of the room. I stood and assumed fighting stance in front of the treasure hunter.
"Norma... You're a pervert." She shot me the tongue and laughed, and then looked back at Moses, who was also in his rather... unprofessionaly held fighting position. I smirked, forgetting all about the dream for a moment and pulled out my purple and black kunai, pointing it directly at her.
"Sick em' red." I oredered, using the nickname she herself made up for him. Though still bothered by the dream, this morning was turning out to be pretty alright... well, not for Norma, but for me and Moses at least... but... that's because I actually woke up this time.