What am I doing? Who knows? It's like three in the morning and I'm so deep in kaishin hell that I? wrote? something? Sorry I haven't actually written anything proper in like, two years. Hahaha sorry I'm more of an artist than a writer.

So this fic takes place post-Black Organization so Shinichi got his body back and all that. And I'm keeping everything about the org. really vague because I have no clue how things would actually turn out in the series. Really this fic is purely self-indulgent because I just wanted a place to write all my kaishin fantasies down, but I'll try to be as close to canon as possible. I don't know. Have fun.

Warning: Eventual kaito/shinichi (and by eventual I mean really far off), shinichi/ran, kaito/aoko, other canon pairings
Kaishin is endgame but there's going to be shinran and kaiao in between because it's a canon AU and I really like them so keep that in mind!
This chapter is pretty shinran heavy oops

The hair on the back of his neck stood. Ran was staring at him again. This wasn't the first time, of course. He's caught Ran staring at him multiple times in the past, during class or walking to school, but her gaze was never this intense before.

It really only started when he got his body back and stopped being Edogawa Conan when it was safe enough for Shinichi to be in public again. He didn't know why, maybe Ran was keeping an even sharper eye on him, a lingering side effect to being his older sister for over a year. Maybe she still couldn't believe that he was going to stay for good this time.

Even so, she was really unnerving him. He still felt guilty over hiding his identity to her so desperately, until she could no longer stand his lies and finally cornered him into confessing who he really was to her. Surprisingly, she wasn't surprised at the whole "poison turning him into a child" thing since they knew how eccentric the Professor was, but was instead angrier at the fact that they bathed and slept together. She was really weird sometimes. But even after that, she still saw him as Conan and kept treating him like a kid, which both relieved Shinichi but frustrated him to no end.

He didn't know if the person Ran was looking at was her childhood friend or her little brother, and that was the thing that annoyed him the most.

Finally, he was unable to stand her gaze any longer and turned around to face her with a sigh. "What do you keep staring at me for? Is there something on my neck?"

Ran blinked, unaware that she was caught staring again. "Wha? No, it's nothing, really! I was just thinking…" She shook her head quickly.

"Thinking, huh?" Shinichi repeated. "It's rare for you to be thinking so intensely that you'd stare holes into my head."

"Geez, I was just thinking about tomorrow!" Ran huffed. "You remember your promise, right Shinichi?"

This time it was Shinichi's turn to blink in confusion. What was she talking about again?

Before he could say anything, Ran spoke again. "You promised yesterday that you'd go with me to the dessert café that just opened near the museum!"

And then he remembered. He did promise to go with her, didn't he? He remembered how Ran brought it up during the afternoon break and said she wanted to try it out, since the girls in class were saying that it was a pretty good place despite its recent opening. Then Ran said something about not wanting to go alone because it'd be embarrassing for her for some reason he really didn't understand. He had a case he was going over, so he refused at first, but then Ran said they had good lemon pie there and the rest was history. He could never resist lemon pie.

"Oh." Shinichi said. "I remember now! Sorry there was a murder after school so it completely slipped my mind…" He even tried doing that boyish giggle from when he was Conan, since it always seemed to work on her whenever she got angry.

It didn't work.

Ran looked like she wanted to hit him.

Shinichi backed away for her just in case she really did.

"I'm really sorry, okay?" he apologized. "It's just, I've been getting a lot more cases than usual, and it's not like I can just ignore them, you know?"

Ran sighed. "I know. You wouldn't be Shinichi if you did, after all."

He didn't know what kind of mix of emotions he sensed in her voice at that moment. She sounded sad, but at the same time there was a hint of relief mixed in with some indescribable thing that really bothered Shinichi.

"Ran…"

"I'm glad." she said with a small smile, looking down at the ground rather than Shinichi's face. He couldn't see her eyes, which held so much of the emotion on her face. "I'm glad that you're still Shinichi. Even after everything that's happened, you haven't stopped being Shinichi even once."

There was a moment of silence between them, the sounds of the students around them all fading away as they left for home. The two of them stood at the school gates, and all Shinichi could do was look at Ran, unsure of what to say to her.

He wasn't that different of a person as Conan, was he? Was that what Ran was worried about the whole time? That he and Conan would continue to be two different people in her eyes?

He may have been Edogawa Conan at the time, but he was still Kudou Shinichi all the same. He was always Shinichi before he was Conan, and Ran was his resolve. His purpose. Ran, who cried for him when he couldn't, full of compassion and strength that Shinichi himself couldn't even compare to. It was that kindness that Shinichi wanted to protect, even though he knew Ran could protect herself well enough without him. From being his childhood friend to his older sister, she was still full of that beautiful humanity that never faltered.

It felt like an eternity had passed before he could say anything.

Even now, she hadn't changed from the day they first met.

He let himself smile. "You… haven't stopped being Ran, either."

She looked up, prompting him to go further.

There were so many things that he could say to her, but he wouldn't be Shinichi if he said them, wouldn't he? And then Ran wouldn't be Ran either.

"Well…" He took a glance at the sunset filled sky, and then back at Ran's anxious face. "After all, you still haven't learned from your past habits." he explained, feeling his face warm up. From the sun.

He watched as Ran's face went from surprised to confused. He wondered what she thought he was going to say.

"Like this morning when you put your foot up on my desk." He looked away from her; suddenly finding the bird perched on the branch of the tree very interesting. "You were flashing your pa-"

"Shinichi!" Ran shrieked, face red as a tomato. She pulled down on her skirt violently, almost dropping her bag in the process, as if doing so now would erase the image of her undergarments from Shinichi's memory.

"Wh-What are you so embarrassed for?" Shinichi yelled back. "I didn't look at them on purpose! And besides, they're always white anyways so it's not like I haven't seen-"

Ran yet again repeated his name in mortification, looking halfway between wanting to drop kick Shinichi in the stomach or running away in embarrassment. Knowing Ran, it was probably the kick in the stomach.

The few remaining people who had turned their attention on them had now quickly dispersed, knowing how an angry Mouri Ran was not to be messed with.

"I can't believe I thought you were-! You-! You're the worst!"

Shinichi laughed nervously, quickly looking at his wristwatch. "Wow! Look at the time!" he exclaimed with a bit too much surprise. "I promised the Professor I'd come over after school. Better get going." He turned away to flee while Ran was still shocked enough to let him go, taking one last peek at her red face. "See you tomorrow, Ran!"

By the time Ran had yelled after him, he ran far enough to barely hear the frustration and resignation in her voice.

Some things never change. For better or worse.

"Aren't you early today?" Haibara raised an eyebrow as she opened the door for Shinichi. Judging from her expression, she didn't seem like wanting to know his reasons.

Stepping in and toeing off his shoes, Shinichi replied, "Thought you'd appreciate me being early for once. The Professor?"

Haibara followed him to the living room. "He's upstairs testing one of his new inventions. Sit on the couch." Shinichi did exactly that as the smaller girl headed towards the kitchen. "Coffee?"

"Black, please." He turned to look at the television that was turned on, most likely by the Professor since Haibara didn't watch it. There was a news report on screen, showing a young news anchor explaining something he didn't particularly care about personally before Haibara returned with two steaming cups of coffee.

"I'll need a sample of blood to check if your body is functioning as it's supposed to." she said as she handed Shinichi the mug in her right hand.

He nodded, taking a large sip from the cup while he watched Haibara move into another room and back out with a syringe in her other hand. He set the cup on the table, taking off his uniform blazer and rolling the sleeve on his right arm up to expose the vein. This wasn't the first time he needed a blood test, since Haibara demanded that she check on Shinichi's condition at least once a week since his permanent return. She was probably still paranoid that the antidote might not have worked properly, since the apotoxin didn't work its intended use on him.

Performing the usual routine when she drew blood, she asked if there had been anything unusual with his body and whether or not he was getting sick more often than before. Shinichi replied to both of the questions with a shake of his head. He hadn't felt any difference and there weren't any lingering signs of being affected by the apotoxin, as if his time spent as Conan were only a long dream.

"The kids didn't come over today?" It was a lot less lively than he was used to at the Professor's place.

Haibara was more focused on the syringe full of his blood to reply immediately. "Yoshida-san had errands to run and Tsuburaya-kun had a doctor's appointment. You know how Kojima-kun is whenever the other two are gone."

Shinichi nodded and continued to drink his coffee. "How are they? I mean, after Conan had to leave."

It was hard to lie about Conan's departure to the Detective Boys, since he had grown fond of them as time passed by. They were heartbroken when he announced that Conan would be "moving back with his family in America." He can still remember how much Ayumi-chan cried and how angry Genta had been.

"They're still as energetic as ever, but they mention you every now and then." Haibara answered, placing the syringe into a small container and on the table. She paused for a bit to drink out of her own cup before continuing. "I think you should tell them."

Shinichi didn't have to ask to know what she was referring to.

"I think I should, too." he said. "Maybe someday."

"Preferably before they find out themselves."

He sighed, agreeing with Haibara.

That was bound to happen as well. They were smart kids, and it wouldn't take much to find a connection between Conan and Shinichi. He knew better than to underestimate children and how observant they could be, along with their ability to connect the dots in a different way that adults could. He knew it how much better it would be to tell them the truth rather than wait for them to find out, which was exactly how it ended up with Ran. And he really didn't want a repeat of that incident.

He looked back to Haibara to find that she had gotten up and left the room without a sound while he was thinking. He frowned. She was so rude sometimes.

Left with only the television, he focused his attention of it instead. The previously calm news anchor was now talking animatedly about a new heist notice from Kaitou Kid which arrived to the police last night.

Kaitou Kid, huh.

It was the first time the moonlit thief had been brought up since he returned to being Shinichi. And he had to admit, he hadn't thought about Kid at all until now. It just completely slipped his mind. A little part of him told him that it was because Kaitou Kid was a part of Edogawa Conan's life, not Shinichi's. There wasn't any reason for him to get involved anymore.

"Are you going?" came Haibara's voice out of nowhere, making Shinichi jump in his seat. He glared at her in response, to which she merely sipped on her coffee. "Well?"

"I'm not going." he said. "I may have gone to a few as Conan, but Kudou Shinichi doesn't chase after thieves."

"Oh my, how sad would Kid be if he heard you say that?" She sounded annoyingly amused, which Shinichi didn't like at all. "I thought you enjoyed his heists."

"They're interesting." he responded begrudgingly, earning a smirk from the little girl. "But not enough for me to go every time there's one. Besides, I don't even know when or where it is this time."

"But you could find out. You're no longer a child, so what's stopping you?"

Shinichi raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Why do you want me to go so badly?"

"I don't. I'm just telling you want you want to hear." she replied enigmatically.

"What?"

Before he could say anything else, there was a loud crash from upstairs. Shinichi didn't have to look to know that it was the Professor. Looks like whatever he was making needed a little more tweaking. Haibara looked towards the staircase with a sigh.

He should probably go home now and apologize to Ran. He rose from his seat, turning off the television with the remote on the table and downing the rest of his lukewarm coffee. "I should go now. Tell the Professor I said 'hi'."

"Goodbye, Kudou-kun. Think about what I said."

He wanted to ask which part, the Detective Boys or Kid, but he had a feeling it was both. He already knew what to do about the actual kids, but Kid himself was a different story. They had developed a rivalry of sorts throughout his time as Conan, and Kid had known his true identity for a majority of the time they knew each other. Conan was the thing that still kept them connected. But now that he actually got his body back, he had no time to go after thieves that returned what they stole. Not when there were real criminals to be caught.

Although despite how much he told himself that, he couldn't get the idea of Kid's heist out his mind for the rest of the day.

I don't actually plan for this to be really serious or dramatic, despite the times where it seems that way. There'll be some semblance of a plot but I want to keep this pretty lighthearted. But who knows maybe things will change since I don't have many things planned out yet.

I hope you enjoyed even though this part wasn't kaishin at all.