Disclamer: don't own em- just wanna play with em a lil bit
Authors note: I decided, I wanted to go there, I wanted to see our lovely women battle with something many of us battle with every day. I tried to make this as real and as raw as I could. This is something I knew I could blow your minds with, because of the deamons I struggle with within myself. Heres just a little taste.
Rated M- for strong drug use.
Italic is janes thoughts.
It shouldn't have ended up this way you know. Im a cop. I look for the creeps, I find the creeps, I take down the creeps. Now, I am a creep. As I sit on my sofa, ever inch of my body aching, every pain I subsided coming back full force, I have realized that I am now alone. In the last nine months I have pushed everyone, and everything away from me. I've lied to them, I've cheated them, I have stolen from them. Poor Maura, She tried to help me. She tried over and over. However, no matter how much I love her, I just cant stop. Its too deep now. I have officially lost this battle.
What am I saying.
I know, I haven't really lost yet.
What do they say, dead or in jail, right? Think Jane think.
It sure feels like I have already lost though.
I was going to change it today. Try to get back to the old me. But the pain its just, its just so hard. FUCK THIS. I CANT. I just cant.
The detective, gets off of her sofa and runs into the kitchen. She opens her cabinet and finds the magical blue bag she knows will take it all away. She finds her way back to the sofa.
Step one- bottle cap. (works )Needle. Bag.
Step two- Drawl back, 20 mls of water and empty into the bottle cap, then mix the magical substance
Step three- the drawl back, this is my favorite part. I love using my teeth to slowly pull the brown liquid into the works.
Step four- flick flick flick. We don't need any air bubbles Janie. Oh great, now im talking to myself in the third person, that's it I have lost my mind.
Step five- aim and shoot. Whats the sense of tieing up? I know where im going now, just gotta find somewhere to hit, most of my veins are blown out.
Step six- its in…dig for it, wait for it.. pull back and wait for the blood to mix inside the works, …yes we've found a winner.
Step seven- Now push, slowly…and its in.
1…2…3…4….5…6…7….
That's it. This is how, I turned myself from a hero- to a junkie.