My entry for the Remember When This Was Fun contest. Prompt was the first sentence.
Check out the other entries here: http : / www. fanfiction. net/community/ Remember_When_This_Was_Fun/99052/
Thanks to SadtomatoFF and SingleStrand for hosting this contest and not killing me for submitting my entry 5 minutes before it was due. Also huge thanks to EdwardAddiction and Voolly for pre-reading and beta'ing an hour before I posted it. I suck at life and you guys rock my socks. Bowl hits and cookies for everyone.
I seriously doubt Stephenie Meyer would claim either one of these boys but here's the obligatory disclaimer anyway: Shit ain't mine.
Warnings: Poorly written slash lemons, bratty!Riley, flavored lube, recreational drug use and One Direction.
xoxoxo
Riley heard the garage door open so he threw the pipe under the bed and sprayed Febreze wildly around the room.
How he heard the garage door over the blaring stereo (he had discovered One Direction earlier in the week and hadn't had time until that afternoon to fully perv out on their particular brand of sexy-boy-band) was a miracle that could only be attributed to the gods of good weed and angry boyfriends.
"Riley?" Carlisle called from downstairs.
"Where are you?" "Up here! In our bedroom," Riley responded as he waved his arms around frantically trying to clear the smoke from the air.
He realized how utterly ridiculous he was being. Carlisle really couldn't care less that he smoked, but Riley had promised to work on unpacking today, and well, that hadn't really happened. But to be fair, it wasn't due to the fact that he had gotten higher than a giraffe's ass as soon as Carlisle had left for work that morning. Not fully, anyway. The first box that Riley had opened contained his typewriter, the bowl, a bottle of cherry-flavored lube, and a package of Little Debbie oatmeal cookies. The kind with the fluffy white shit in the middle. He had packed the box himself but had totally forgotten about it with all the stress of moving.
So it wasn't Riley's fault that after he waked and baked, had a nice, long, cherry-flavored wank, ate a snack, and then spent a few hours writing, he was left with absolutely no time to unpack more boxes.
Riley was still jumping and spinning around as Carlisle thumped up the stairs and headed down the hallway.
"What are you doing up here? It sounds like a herd of elephants is dancing around," Carlisle said right before he turned the corner and walked into the bedroom.
"Uh..." Riley replied, smiling as sweetly as he could manage as Carlisle leaned against the door frame and gave him That Look.
"Did you get anything unpacked today?" Carlisle surveyed the room that was still stacked floor-to-ceiling with boxes.
"Well, not really. The first box I opened had cookies and lube in it. You know how that goes."
"I know how that goes. Really, Ri?" Carlisle said, narrowing his eyes and stalking towards his grinning boyfriend.
"Oh, I wrote too," Riley replied with a smirk. The look on Carlisle's face was making him uncomfortably hard and he couldn't help but palm his growing erection.
Carlisle wove his way through the maze of boxes and stood close enough that Riley could feel him through his expensive wool trousers, hard and hot and wonderful. Riley leaned forward and ghosted his hand over Carlisle's crotch, pleased with the shiver and groan that it elicited from his boyfriend. He was in the process of snaking his hand around the back of Carlisle's neck so that he could suck a mark onto his collar bone when Carlisle shoved him away.
"First of all, I'm not having sex with you with One Direction playing in the background. Secondly, you're not leaving a mark on me again. I'm 35 and people look at me funny when I show up to work with hickies. Third, you're the one who's in trouble here, so I think I get to decide how we go about this."
"Fourth, you really should smoke a bowl right now because you're grumpy and you need to get on my level," Riley added.
Carlisle smiled then and a laugh bubbled up from deep in his chest.
"You make me insane. I love you," he told Riley as he moved forward again and wrapped his arms around Riley's waist, nuzzling into his neck and breathing deeply.
Riley may have purred.
"Can we have sex now, old man?" Riley said, his voice trailing off into a groan as Carlisle slipped his hand down the front of his jeans.
"Fuck, you're so hard. You really have just been sitting around all day jerking off and getting high, haven't you?"
"Distinct possibility that's true," Riley replied as he thrust up into Carlisle's hand.
"Too many clothes. Off, off, off."
"Don't be a brat. Patience," Carlisle said, his voice low and edgy again. He popped the buttons on Riley's fly one at a time, his pace excruciatingly slow, causing Riley to wiggle and twist and mutter under his breath.
"I can't help it. Need it hard, Car. Please," Riley begged.
"Nah, don't think so. I think you need to squirm. I think it needs to be slow."
"I fucking hate you."
"Stop whining. It's unbecoming."
"The fact that your hand isn't wrapped firmly around my cock is unbecoming."
Carlisle laughed again and shoved Riley's pants all the way down before backing him onto the bed.
"I know you've had a long day being being worthless," he smiled, "So I'm going to suck you off. And then we're going to eat. And then, if you behave, I'll fuck you until you can't walk straight. Sound like a plan?"
Riley could only manage a strangled ungh before Carlisle's mouth was wrapped around his incredifuckinghard dick and he was sucking and Riley was thrusting and it was oh so good. Carlisle flattened his tongue and licked up the length of Riley's shaft, humming along the way and causing Riley to full-body shudder, his dick jumping and twitching against Carlisle's mouth.
"Stay still," Carlisle said, looking up and splaying his palm across Riley's hip, pushing him back down onto the mattress.
"Can't. Mouth feels so good," Riley choked out as he threaded his fingers into Carlisle's hair and guided his mouth back down onto his dick.
Carlisle finally took pity on him and began to suck in earnest, twisting up and down sloppily as he slipped a wet finger further back and teased Riley's hole.
"Fuck. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck," Riley groaned, trying to stave off his orgasm but failing miserably. Carlisle grazed him with his teeth and Riley gave up fighting. He nearly blacked out from pleasure, stars dancing behind his eyelids as he came and Carlisle swallowed around him.
Very slowly, Carlisle lifted away from Riley's dick, licking and kissing his way across his hips, his belly button, up his stomach and over his nipples. He nipped at Riley's jaw and sucked on his earlobe before finally, finally, kissing him properly. Riley melted into the kiss, loving the taste of himself on Carlisle's lips but loving even more the tender sounds Carlisle made as he wrapped Riley around him, his hold strong and comfortable and safe.
"I feel much better now," Riley murmured as he snuggled into Carlisle's side.
"Good. Hungry?"
"Mhmmm. You didn't make me turn the music off. I think One Direction makes blowjobs even better," Riley said, absently stroking up and down Carlisle's stomach.
"I think you've lost your goddamn mind. C'mon. Let's smoke a bowl and get some Chinese food."
"Have I told you lately how much I fucking love you?"
"How much do you think you'll love me after I tell you that I got tickets to see this ridiculous band in concert next month?"
Riley screeched and jumped up, bouncing on the bed in glee as Carlisle reached down and fished around for the bowl and a lighter. They smoked and ate and Riley bounced some more until Carlisle finally pinned him down and followed through on his promise to fuck him seven ways to Sunday. Before they drifted off to sleep, Riley promised to get more unpacking done the next day but Carlisle could feel his smirk, even in the dark, and just laughed and rolled his eyes.
And a month later, Carlisle would finally admit that Riley was right. One Direction did make blowjobs even better, especially while listening live and on his knees in a dark corner of a crowded arena.