The Lady Doth Protest too Much

"He stared tenderly at every woman, appearing to say about all of them: If only I wanted to; and trying to make his comrades believe that he was in general demand."- Les Miserables, The Friends of the ABC, A Group Which Almost Became Historic

"Still, this skeptic had fanatacism. This fanaticism was not for an idea, nor a dogma, nor an art, nor a science; it was for a man: Enjolras. Grantaire admired, loved, and venerated Enjolras."- Les Miserables, The Friends of the ABC, A Group Which Almost Became Historic

Disclaimer: otherwise known as disclamer. Alright, I don't own Les Mis or Pirates of the Caribbean, as there is a reference early on.

Enjolras: David Thaxton

Grantaire: Hadely Fraser

Marius: Tom Lucas

Jehan: Allistar Brammer

Courfeyrac: Killian Donnelly


Grantaire entered the Cafe Mussian, and, with a "quick" glance at Apollo, and picked up a tall glass of brandy. Then, sitting down a lone at a table that was across from one Jehan and Marius were sitting at, began to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"She was a phantom, but the Goddess of Aphrodite in her most elusive form. One minute then she was gone!"

"Ah my friend, you have begun to feel the pangs of love. Tell me, have you yet spoken to this fair lady." Prouvaire prompted, pushing Marius for more answers.

"No, not of yet, she always walks with her white haired father in the Luxembourg, where I wait for her every day." Marius replied. "Ah, good day Courfeyrac! How was, er your night out with dear Scarlet?"

"And Giselle, mustn't forget her!" Courfeyrac added added with a boyish grin. "But yes it was very, exciting. Both of the women have swelling breasts and-"

"Yes I'm sure it was lovely," said Prouvaire. "But Marius, tell me-"

"Scarlet, is she the attractive young thing who hangs about her Mother Saguet's?" Grantaire interrupted, making his presence known with a loud belch from the large amount of spirits he had already consumed.

"Yes, why?"

"She and I had a fling in the backroom of that place. You are right; she is quite nice in that sense. I can tell you the whole story if you wish to write it down for a poem." Grantaire said this while trying to cover up that he had just given in to his desire to stare at Enjolras' tight pants as he was talking to Combeferre and Feuilly.

"But-" Marius said, but Jehan cut him off.

"Okay, Grantaire, wonderful! Now Marius..."

"But I-" Grantaire tried to reply, but then Enjolras, having finished his conversation with Combeferre and Feuilly, had gotten up on the table to make a speech, and the room fell completely silent.

"My friends, the Republic calls to each and every one of us. We know that our days here on this earth may be numbered due to our beliefs, ideals, and morals, but..." Enjolras began, but by this time, Grantaire had lost himself in a daydream.

And what a daydream it was! He found himself looking at Enjolras, who was asking him, "So, how was that Giselle you mentioned in bed? As good as me, dear Julian?"

"Not as good as you, my sweet Marcelin! Not by a long ways!" Grantaire said, making no pretense to hide the lust in his voice.

And with that they were kissing. Not just any kiss, no, this was rough and furious and full of passion: Grantaire loved every second of it. There was no regular taste of absinthe in his mouth, just Enjolras' sweet tasting tongue. He began to feel Enjolras tug at his shirt, and he broke to let him lift it over his shoulders. It was like a dam was broken: they both tore at each other's clothes until Enjolras was soon left in nothing but his tricolor scarf and Grantaire; nothing.

"Well R, are you going to finish the job?" Enjolras asked seductively.

Grantaire was about to say that he was ready to give him the best sex of his life when he was quickly roused from his little moment of bliss by Enjolras shouting, "The people are our goal, and we shall give our last breath for them! Who will be strong and stand with me?"

The whole backroom jumped up and ran in front of Enjolras, whose arms were raised. With this, Grantaire noticed he had a problem. His daydream had made him, aroused and he knew that, if he were to stand, the rather large tent in his trousers would be paraded in front of the whole of the Les Amis. He quickly grabbed his bottle and, strategically so, positioned it over his still growing teepee. Then he quickly drunkenly staggered to the front of the room, where the Golden Statue was saying, "Let us take to the streets with no doubt in our hearts. We will rally the people to overthrow the bonds of tyranny!"

The whole room shouted praises, that is except for Grantaire, who stood in his normal silence staring at Enjolras in what looked like awe, but he himself knew it was so much more than that.

"Oh, Grantaire, will you stop staring," Prouvaire said, "You should participate. After all, you are in this revolution."

Grantaire, who wasn't really paying attention, quickly tried to cover up, "Uh, what did you say? I couldn't here you over the noise our dear statue has created. Perhaps you could speak louder?"

"Grantaire, I how much you are in love with Enjolras, it's plain to, er, see" He said as he glanced and Grantaire's "bottle". "Will you just admit this: there is nothing to be ashamed of, Heaven forbid."

"What! I have never shown any infatuation with Apo- Enjolras. I just told you, Courfeyrac and Marius about Giselle and-"

But he stopped as Jehan looked at him and rolled his eyes. "Grantaire, there is no need to hide, but if you don't want me to mention it, I won't."

Grantaire, realizing his battle was lost with the "all seeing" romantic, said quietly, "Orestes is quite a handsome god."

"On that my friend, we can agree." Jehan replied, and Grantaire realized that he was exactly like himself.

"With a jubilant shout they will come one and all! They will answer our cries for freedom! Will you stand with me?" Enjolras asked with a joyous cry.

And this time, even Grantaire joined in the cry of freedom. He was still cynical, still disbelieving the Revolution, but he found that he could support it blindly for the sake of Enjolras. Enjolras may never love his cynical attitude, and would probably never love him at all, but now Grantaire realized that was all right, for Grantaire knew that he could only have Enjolras in his mind. But, strangely enough, this was all right for him, for Enjolras was bigger than just a person, he was an idea, a passion, a brilliance, that Grantaire longed for, and just by participating in the group, he found that he could taste what Enjolras was, and that was enough for him.

Fin


A/N Okay, I'm going to number all of the points I need to make

1. The PotC refrance was Giselle and Scarlet, Jack's ladies

2. Yes, I believe Jehan is 100% gay, and totally comfortable with it.

3. Many thanks to and TCRegan and on abaisse for the ideas, title, and encouragement to write this, as I did it all in about one day.

4. Yes, I took lines from the musical, but seeing as I was trying to give an Enjy speech, I had to take a little. Plus, I think they fit rather well.

I hope this was erotic enough for yo slash fic-ers, and Cannon enough for for you serious and stricter fic-ers!