Rocked by the sudden intrusion
of feeling deep within
a rumbling of grief
of questions
of "what if's"
Threatening to spill its contents
in one last ditch effort attempt
to gloss over the tangible tangle
of over angst ridden emotions

emotions that didn't agree
with my body
with my heart
with my thoughts
a whirlwind of uncontrollable
attempts of mind altering
body mutilation
unflinching as everything
crumbles to lies

lies that hurt
lies that bleed
lies that no longer keep together
the pretense that everything was ok
cause it never was

was it?