"Will I disappear?" said the Spider in a Top Hat.
The queen hadn't meant to summon him. She didn't mean to conjure anyone. There hadn't been a blatant out of control casting of her wand for the better of a decade. Many would confuse her liberal use of magic as out of control, but there was always some method in her madness and her mana always went towards any goals she had.
Right now however she didn't have a goal. She had been just awake. Sitting in her bed. Her bed was as always in the chambers that she shared with her husband.
"Will I disappear?" said the Spider in a Top Hat.
She stared at the construct that stood on her sheets. The queen let out a sigh that she didn't know she had been holding, "You'll just be in my wand as always."
The arachnid removed it headwear and tugged on it's tiny hat with it's thumbs in both directions, "But will I be in her wand?"
In who's wand?
"In the princess' wand?"
In her daughter's wand?
"I don't see why not. She will know everything I know." she would teach her daughter what she had known and this spell in front her was included.
"Will the spider she summons be me or another spider in a top hat?" the spider wondered, "I was made by you, I've never been summoned by anyone else before."
There was no telling what would happen when her daughter attempted the spell or any other of her spells. She was the one who made them up. All those creatures were of her imagination, "If she summons another spider, will it be me? Or will I be erased?"
"If she needs to summon a spider in a hat, than I don't see why it wouldn't be you." That was just as likely as the alternative.
"Maybe she doesn't want a spider in a top hat. Maybe she would prefer a spider in a fez." the spider pondered, "Then when she has a spider in a fez, she won't need me."
"That could still be you. It's not hard to change hats."
"But I'm the Spider in a Top Hat. Wearing a top hat is part of the spell." The spider lifted the brim of its hat with one arm. "If I'm not wearing a top hat than am I the same spell?"
"I would think so. I've made a couple changes to all of you every now and again." The queen thought over the question. "Cloudy was once green and quite rude, but he was still Cloudy."
"But I came from your wand." The spider pointed at the object in her palms. "Will I come from her wand."
"It's the same wand. It's always been." It didn't matter if she was holding it or if her daughter was.
"But her's will look different."
"Mine looks a bit different too." She remembered how it had once looked when she was younger and how it changed throughout the years. "It hasn't always look like this. Don't you remember?"
"It was even gone at one point but I summoned you before that and I summon you after." It had disappeared more than a couple times but it always came back to her.
"Am I the same as before?" The Spider in a Top Hat asked.
The queen frowned. "You don't remember me summoning you before?"
"No I do." The arachnid admitted.
That was a good enough answer for her majesty. "Then you are the same."
The Spider in a Top Hat pondered, "But do I remember being summoned before, because I'm the same or do I remember that because you remember that?"
"Well. We'll just have to ask the princess than." She could suggest summoning the familiar. Her daughter could see what the spider could recall.
"But you summon me all the time." The Spider in a Top Hat countered.
"And I have told her the stories." The queen saw the flaw of her solution. She remembered tucking a child to sleep many times over. "All the ones that I could remember"
The spider closed it eyes. The queen slumped down slightly beneath her sheets. She could a moment to think. "We could try it now." She queen proposed, "A new story. Go out to the forest. Fight a monster. Our own little secret. Then the princess wouldn't know. Then we can see."
"I'd love that," the spider however didn't look too happy, "But maybe we shouldn't. I feel tired."
The queen was perplexed. "What do you mean you feel tired? You came to me. Asking all kinds of questions. Waking me in the middle of the night."
"If we see that the me tomorrow remembers the me today. What would that mean?" The spider thought, "And what would it mean it they're not? Would it even mean anything either way?"
The queen answered, "Of course it would. If you remember tonight then you're still you."
"What if I forget?"
"Forget tonight?"
"What if I'm still me when she calls me but I forget everything." The Spider in a Top Hat wondered.
The queen understood, "Then that would make it hard to tell the difference between a you who isn't you and a you who is but doesn't remember."
"Would it even really matter?"
"It would a bit. I would like to believe. I don't remember everything I've ever done, but that doesn't mean I didn't do them." The queen might not remember an action, but because of those actions she's where she is now.
"Where did the memories go?" The arachnid spoke as if they were loose pieces of paper. "Did you leave them behind?"
"They're still there I think. Just hidden away." The queen didn't know of the mind. That was for the King to know.
Than the spider said suddenly, "I don't want to go to sleep."
"You have made that a bit obvious." The queen laughed.
"If I sleep, I might disappear without realizing it." The spider admitted. "Then I'll be gone until she summons me, but what if she never summons me or summons a me who isn't me?"
The queen tried to sooth the tiny being. "I'm sure you're be fine."
"Are you sure? Is anyone?"
"I would like to believe." Her majesty didn't know what else to say.
"I poof and disappear, then I'm me again when you summon me. If she doesn't summons, if she never summons me, what happens than? I always get summoned, so what happens when that ends?"
"Where are you when you're not with me?" The queen asked for the first time.
"I don't know. Is there anything in between?" The arachnid crafted questions as if the queen would know better than he. "If there is, would I like it and if I don't, will I care?"
"There must be something." The queen was certain.
"Is there something when you sleep?"
"Sometimes I dream."
"Will I dream?" The spider looked up to the queen.
The queen gifted him a tiny smile. "Maybe. That wouldn't be so bad."
"But what if I have a nightmare? I can't summon myself to stop it." The spider feared.
"I don't know how to answer that." It was not her duty nor was it within her right.
"I don't want to be unsummoned." The Spider in a Top hat decided.
"I don't think I would stop you. If you could stay forever that would be fine with me, but tomorrow is my daughter's birthday and my wand will be her's." The queen explained.
"Does it have to?"
She reaffirmed, "It has to."
"Don't you get to decide?" The spider asked the queen.
The queen did find it tempting. "There are some rules that no one can break. No matter what. I knew what would happen when she was born, when I got married, when I turned eighteen. I had to distract myself from it every night. There was nothing else I could do. It only goes one way."
"I wished you summoned me more." The spider gave in.
"So do I. It wouldn't have mattered but it would've been fun. I wished I had. I called on you less as I got older. Maybe I thought this day would was so far off like I had all the time in the world or maybe I knew it would be soon and I just wanted to be okay when it did. Maybe I just wanted to prove that I could stand tall without your support. What would happen to my kingdom if I couldn't do it alone?"
The spider looked up at the queen, "You never told me that."
"I don't think I wanted you to know." The queen admitted.
"I've felt like that too." The Spider in a Top Hat said.
The queen sighed. She looked at the clock at the side of her bed. "My king will be back soon from his bath. I don't want to worry him and he is good at finding out when I'm distressed. We should no longer speak about this. Come here. I won't unsummon you or force you to sleep, but you can rest here tonight. We might not know what will happen but at least one of us will asleep and we'll see in the morning."
The spider nodded and scurried up the sheets. It dug it's body into her side and she allowed herself to cuddle with the familiar. None of what she said was a lie. Her husband did return for the night and he didn't once question the small guest. When he fell to slumber, she stayed up with the spider. How long did the night go on and what would happen in the morning?
That can't be written down.
No one knows what happens next.