Rating: PG
Pairings: F/G (yes, Weasley-cest)
Disclaimer: The names Fred and George Weasley, as well as anything else that is recognizable, all belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. No trademark infringement is meant by the following story.
Author's Notes: This came to me the other night as I got ready to go to bed. Very mild Weasley-cest, and you have been warned. If you read on, you do so knowing what you are encountering. Kudos goes to you if you catch the slight "Gates Of Hell" reference that slipped in without even intending to be there. Constructive criticism and comments welcome. :)
Together, Yet Forever Held Apart
People always ask us what its like to be a twin. It seems rather silly to me, rather like trying to explain what its like being a girl to a boy. And see how ridiculous that example is? I can't even find a comparison.
These same people who ask us what its like being twins always seem to have this shiny idea of the relationship up in their heads. Many say that they wish they'd been a twin, and tell us how neat it must be, how fascinating, how absolutely terrific. And I just want to shake my head at them and tell them to try it before they say things like that.
That isn't to say that I would ever dream of changing the fact that I am a twin. It is, at the same time...the best and the worst part of my life. It is the source of so much attention from others - I see it in their eyes. Ooh, twins, they think. How interesting.
People are fascinated by what they don't understand, and quite often wish that they were in that position, even though (as far as I am concerned) if they were actually in that position they might find that they are not as happy as they thought they would be.
But oh yes, there is so much joy. You are never really alone...always part of a greater whole that is only complete when the two of you are together. You have someone there who nearly always understands what you are thinking and why, and sometimes even when you are thinking it. Sometimes I lose track of where I end and he begins...am I the mirror of him, or is he the reflection of me? Is one of us more real than the other? Who was there first, or did we both come into existence at the same moment?
So much happiness, yet so much pain.. Sometimes it feels as though we can remember the moment we were seperated from each other, and that pain and that confusion seems to drive us towards each other, no matter how hard we try to resist. I look into his eyes and I know what he is thinking - is it really so wrong to want to be one again with the person who knows me better than I know myself, who sometimes seems to just be part of me as much as a foot or a hand or an eye is a part of me? A part that I could not imagine living without, a part that I love and depend upon?
Does anyone really understand, could they ever possibly understand how I feel when we are skin to skin, pressed up against each other so warm and close and comforting, as close to being whole again as we can be without being that initial tiny cell again, way back before we were somehow seperated and divided forever? For we are divided in some way that I cannot explain, in a way that I do not understand, in a way that breaks my heart every time I look at him and see the longing in his eyes, those eyes that I love to stare deeply into until it feels as though I am drowning in him, that we are together once more...
Forever apart but bonded in a way no-one else understands...
Sometimes its like I'm trapped in a living hell. When you care so much about another person, often the first reaction is to tell other people...but that is denied to the both of us. We both know that being open about just exactly what we mean to each other is not something we will ever be able to do, and I know that sometimes we both feel as though we will snap in two yet again when we look at each other and see all that we want, so close and yet so far. We share these looks sometimes, and when they happen I just want to wrap myself around him and promise that we will never be apart, that I will always be here for him, always be a part of him.... That I need him just as he needs me, that he fulfills me just as I fulfill him, and nothing will ever, ever seperate us fully.
It is almost scary sometimes, because I know that I would follow him anywhere, no matter where he went, no matter what I faced. I would not question where we were going, nor why, I would go with him or follow him because we really are one in some ways. I would rather be with him in hell than alone without him anywhere else.
I read somewhere that people wonder and ask how twins could possibly love each other in that way, because isn't it just like loving yourself, being attracted to yourself... And yet, I must ask, how can you love anyone else without first loving your own personality?
Is he the missing piece of me, or am I the lost fragment of him...
Yet it doesn't really matter because together we feel complete, whole...
And no matter what anyone else says or feels, no matter what censure we face...neither of us can deny that we are two sides of a coin, mirror and reflection, person and shadow...completing, fulfilling, satisfying in a way that is beautiful to us, at least... If not to anyone else.
...And when the one who is the other half of yourself feels the same as you do, does anything else really matter?