Disclaimer: Along with the default disclaimer above, I'd like to mention that I don't happen to own the lyrics to "Just to See You Smile." Those belong to Tim McGraw and any other unmentioned people who wrote the song. I'd like to thank them for letting me borrow the lyrics for this story.
Author's Note: This is a little different than any of the other stories I've written. It's from Luke's point of view actually his exact thoughts, just after the argument in "Partings," but just before Lorelai actually got to Chris's house. You'll see how it ties in. And yes, I am aware that most people who watch Gilmore Girls aren't country music fans, but well, I am, and whether that is a good or a bad thing, I don't really care, but please don't decide you aren't going to read the story because you don't like the song, or worse yet, haven't heard the song but don't like the genre. That's all I ask. Well, that, and to please review.
Just to See You Smile
She's gone. I know it's partially my fault, but she always insists on moving so fast. Can't she just wait for awhile, let me take things at my pace? I guess that just isn't Lorelai. I don't know if I honestly can deal with that. Maybe a break wouldn't hurt the relationship. Maybe, on the other hand, it would. I do love her, no matter what speed she wants to take. I don't know, I'm confused. Confused and depressed. So here I sit, in my apartment. Oh, boy. Maybe I should put on some music. But what? Maybe the radio…
Okay, this is a country station. Lorelai hates country music. I have to admit though, I sort of like it. She's not here though, she's gone. In more ways than one. It couldn't hurt to listen to it now, she can't mock me when she doesn't know what I'm listening to. She'll never know. Besides, I can't deal with the kind of music she likes right now. Metallica isn't particularly soothing. "When your heart's been broken, you need a song that's slow." Isn't that in an Alan Jackson song? A little sappy, but I've always liked the guy's music, in general.
Oh boy, Tim McGraw. He's one of those chick singers, isn't he? All the girls like his songs? Sounds appealing. Unfortunately, now the radio's on the other side of the room, and I don't feel like getting up to change the station. Maybe I'll just keep it. If it's revolting, I can just tune it out. I'm good at that.
You
always had an eye for things that glittered
But I was far from
bein' made of gold
What the heck is he talking about? Nobody's made of gold.
I
don't know how but I scraped up the money
I just never could quite
tell you no
What's he buying? Some of these songs are as cryptic as the women that listen to them.
Just
like when you were leavin' Amarillo
Takin' that new job in
Tennessee
And I quit mine so we could be together
I can't
forget the way you looked at me
Giving
up his job for her? Wow, that's something I'd never do. Leave
Star's Hollow? For Lorelai? Maybe for Lorelai. I can just see her
face, the pleading expression… I'd do it for Lorelai. Just
to see you smile
I'd do anything
That you wanted me to
When
all is said and done
I'd never count the cost
It's worth all
that's lost
Just to see you smile
That's
a catchy little chorus line. Maybe this guy isn't such a chick
singer after all. I'm thinking he's got me about figured out.
What I wouldn't do to see her smile… Wait, then why did I let her
go? Why can't we just get married now? I know, the thing with
April… but what would it hurt? I love her, I'm going to love her
pretty much forever, why can't I just marry her? I wonder what's
in the next verse… When you said time was all you really
needed
I walked away and let you have your space
What? Why did he do that? Is this guy sending me mixed messages? Wait, Lorelai never said that she needed time…
Cuz
leavin' didn't hurt me near as badly
As the tears I saw rollin'
down your face
She didn't cry, either. Or did she? I have to start paying attention. I hate it when she cries. It makes me feel like I should cry too, but that wouldn't be very macho, you know? I think she likes my macho-ness. That line was a little sappy though. In a true kind of way.
And
yesterday I knew just what you wanted
When you came walkin' up to
me with him
So I told you that I was happy for you
And given
the chance I'd lie againGod, if that happened, I'm
not sure I could be as good a guy as Tim. Although, what did I do
with Max? Maybe I am as good a guy… I did lie. I lied to her and it
made her happy. Does this guy have a woman writing his songs, or does
he just understand them annoyingly well? I guess he is married to
that singer woman… Faith Hill? Maybe she helps him write. Maybe he
doesn't even write his own songs…
Just
to see you smile
I'd do anything
That you wanted me to
When
all is said and done
I'd never count the cost
It's worth all
that's lost
Just to see you smileIt's worth all
that's lost… What have I lost? I've lost her way too many
times. Now if I married her, that would make her smile. What would I
lose? Time. My sorting things out time. Is it worth that? Losing my
sorting things out time just to see her smile. I think maybe it is.
Maybe this guy does know what he's talking about.
Just to see you smile
I'd
do anything
That you wanted me to
When all is said and done
I'd
never count the cost
It's worth all that's lost
Just to see
you smile
He really pounds in that chorus, doesn't he? God, I hope he knows what he's talking about. I'd better turn off my radio before someone else gives me a different message.
Okay, I'm going to take Tim's word for it. I'm going to call her. Okay, deep breath. There's her number…
"Hello?"
"Hey Lorelai. How's June third?"
"June third? For…"
"Yea, for our wedding date."
"Perfect. Luke, It's the perfect date. I thought you needed time?"
"I changed my mind. It's worth losing my time."
"What's worth losing time?"
"Never mind. Where are you?"
"Uh, just, uh, driving. Clearing my head."
"About what I've been doing, without the driving. Will you come over? I want to see you again tonight. Without the yelling, and the… drama, I guess."
"Okay. Yea. Of course."
"Good. I'll see you then."
"Yea. See ya then."
Maybe Tim does know what he's talking about. Just to be sure though, tonight I really do need to see her smile. I just really don't need to tell her I changed my mind because of a stupid country song… the mocking would never cease. Maybe it's one of those things I'll tell her on our tenth wedding anniversary or something.
