Author's Note: This story is a sequel to my story Abscheid, and is told in the point of Feliciano Vargas. This was also inspired by the song Army Dreamers, sung by Kate Bush.
He was brought home on his shield. It was the honorable, righteous way to do it. His face was caked in blood and dirt, his clothes torn and muddy. He was almost unrecognizable. Almost.
All I could do was scream. Once I saw him, my knees buckled. I couldn't breathe. This wasn't happening. This can't happen. We were going to get married. This isn't fair.
I finally found my legs and I stood, immediately rushing over to him. I screamed at him to wake up. I threatened him. My face stung, my eyes burned. My heart stopped working.
He ignored me. He wouldn't wake. I begged for the others to do something, anything, but they shook their heads and patted my arms and back. I reached to shake him, to wake him from his slumber, but I was held back. Pale hands clung to my arms as I clawed at the air, desperate to bring him back.
I couldn't stop shaking. My face was wet and I was hiccupping and gasping for air. I caught one last glimpse of him before I slipped into unconsciousness.
I awoke with a start from a terrible dream, expecting my beloved knight to be lying next to me. To my horror, he was not. He was not even in the room. I quickly leapt out of bed, determined to find my sweetheart.
I crashed into his brother in my frenzy. He looked ill, hollow. He looked empty. I turned on my heel, away from that pale ghost. I needed to find my knight, but I was having no luck at all.
Finally, I stepped out into the back garden. There were many people back there. Adults and children gathered around something dark and shiny. I felt my breast rise as I took a breath in, stepping to the darkly dressed group. One by one, they noticed me and parted, letting me through.
How I wish they hadn't. Oh, how I wish they had pushed me away. For what was laid out before my eyes was too much to handle.
My knight. My sweet, beloved, favorite knight. My knight in his finest drawers, his hair neat and tidy, his eyes closed and dark, very dark. He looked so calm, so serene. I hated it. I hated that sight of my beloved tucked nicely into his casket.
My soldier was dead. Gone. I wanted to scream at him to wake up. My hands found the rim of the glossy box; my knuckles were white. I was gripping it so hard, holding myself up.
I felt a hand touch my shoulder. My head turned but my eyes stuck fast to my knight. The hand pulled harder, turning my body to face the young adult.
I stared at him, my honey eyes gazing into his sad lavender ones. He was saying something but I wasn't hearing him. I realized I could only hear a quiet ringing. My head was spinning and Mr. Edelstein held me up. His mouth looked like an upside down 'v'. My knees were shaking and I swooned. My prince, my knight in shining armor was dead… Dead.
Mr. Edelstein told me to get dressed. I looked down and saw that I was still in only my nightgown. Why was Mr. Edelstein being so cruel? Did he know that my knight had died?
…Yes. He was dressed to the occasion. He was even out back here in the garden. Why was he being so mean to me?
My knight's brother appeared in the garden, looking as hollow and dark as ever. He looked like he was going to die. I hope not. I couldn't handle that. His pale hand stroked my soldier's cheek, brushing his even paler skin. It was heartbreaking. His face, oh, his face was so sad. He looked heartbroken.
I lost it. Water spilled down my cheeks as I cried. My knees gave out and I crumpled to the ground. The long green blades of grass stroked my bare legs. I felt Mr. Edelstein's arm snake around my shoulder. I think was hugging me. Or at least trying to.
I was soaking my nightgown with my tears and I was getting cold, but I didn't care. I cried and cried and cried. I couldn't stop crying.
I sniffed and wiped my eyes and looked down at the grass and I saw dark, well-shined shoes. I looked up and saw that hollow teen. He was frowning down at me, almost sneering. He told me to 'stop being a baby' and to 'man up'. Mr. Edelstein's grip on me tightened and I looked over to him. He shot a poisonous glare to the younger. He shot that look right back to Mr. Edelstein.
Mr. Edelstein stood and pulled me up with him. I didn't want to leave my knight, but he didn't let me go. I watched that casket and those people slowly get smaller.
As I finally led myself up to my room, I pondered that last image I saw before I left the garden. My knight's brother bent over the casket pressing a sad, long kiss to his lips. I… I don't understand…