Disclaimer:
I don't own Ranma and I don't own my friends either.
Isn't that sad?
"Survive with only Your Clothes and Your Charm" by dacop
Chapter 1: Lady in the Restaurant
Ok. It aint funny at first but it will when you see *HUMOR STARTS HERE*
I am in school and its recess time. I went to my usual hangout place by the shop class shed waiting for my buddies.
Me: Hi guys!
EA: Hey Trevor!
Thomas: Hey, I have a joke, I have a joke.
Thomas: Why is a dick like a gentleman?
30 mins later.
*RRRRIIIINNNNGGGG!!!*
Me: Recess is over guys!
Thomas: Damn, I was getting to the good part.
EA: Ok. I think its math next.
Me: Its science, dumbass! Its Friday today!
So we went back to the classroom but.
Thomas: Shit! Guys, I forgot my lunchbox! Help me look for it!
EA and Me: Ok.
When we were able to get the lunchbox back Thomas saw a piece of rainbowey broken glass.
Thomas: OOOOhhhh. Shiny...
EA and Me: O_o
Thomas picks it up but gives it to EA and cuts EA's arm.
EA: Shit! THOMAS!!!!!!
Thomas: Oops. Sorry. *touches EA's wound* ooohh. bloody.
EA: Guys. I'm feeling sleepy.
Me: Whoah! That must have oogly gas or sumthin!
EA: *Disappears*
Thomas: Whoah! Gimme the precious now!!!!
Me: What?
Thomas: Sorry. I couldn't resist.
[I don't own Lord of the Rings either]
Thomas: Here you can have it.
Me: *gets a cut* THOMAS!!!!!!!
Thomas: Whoops.
Me: *Disappears*
Thomas: Ohhh. I am so in deep shit now.
Thomas: Look how beautiful this is!
Thomas: *cuts himself* SHIT! Oh well.
Thomas: *disappears*
Meanwhile I woke up in a very strange place. When I tried to speak, I noticed I was speaking a different language. I think it was Japanese. Then I looked at my surroundings and I saw that it was all animated. anime style I think.
Me: Thomas! EA! Where are those guys?
When I stood up I felt funny. I saw that I was taller and more handsome and I was ANIMATED!!!!!!! Whoah!! I felt like I was 17 or something.
Me: Cooool!!! I can start hitting on women now!!!!!
*HUMOR STARTS HERE*
OOOHHHH am I gonna have fun ruining your day today. On with the humor!!!!!
Now back to where I was.
I walked out into the open when I saw a restaurant named "Cat Restaurant".
Me: Who would name a restaurant like that? What do they sell there? Cat shit? Wait! Why does that name sound familiar?
I looked into my wallet and saw.
1,000,000 yen!!!!
Me: Holy son of a bitch! I never had that much money. I don't think I have any yen either.
I went in and I sat down. This place looks verrryy familiar.
The real EA: Familiar my ass! Don't you know Ranma?
The real Me: Shut the fuck up. Just read the damn story.
Now back to me before I was rudely interrupted.
I suddenly saw a spider on my table and I jumped up and screamed so loud that everyone heard me.
Me: Holy son of a mother fucking gaylord fucker fucking a son of a.
Lady: Sir!!!
Me: Huh?
Me: *thinking* This lady looks verrry veeerrry familiar.
Me: *thinking* Since this might be a dream. I might as well have some fun!!!
Me: Hey sexy! Why don't you go to my place and we can have some fun?
Lady: *slaps me*
Me: Huh? Why didn't that hurt?
Lady: *slaps me again but to no avail*
Me: Whos yo daddy, bitch???
Lady: Is sir under the influence?
Customers: o_O
Me: No!! Why would I be considering I am HIGH on you!! Hahaha!
Me: *thinking* Wait! I know that accent and that wrong grammar anywhere!
Me: *thinking* I also recognize that blue hair! But who is she! I can't put my finger on it!
Lady: Why you staring at me like that? Me want to know!
The real EA: Ohh puhleasse. You are such a dumbass.
The real Me: That's it! I want a divorce! I mean shut up!
Now finally since EA is off my back for now.
Me: Hey! Is your name Shampoo?
Shampoo: Yes! Now about what you said.
Me: Huh? I'm sorry! I'll never do it again!
Shampoo: What do those words mean?
Me: *sweat drop* Ehehe. It means uhh.
Shampoo: mmm hmm?
Me: What. a. nice place you got here.
Shampoo: That unusual. No customer here for many weeks now sir.
Shampoo: More importantly, who are you and how do you know my name? I don't see you eat here and I don't think I see you in Nerima.
Me: Allow me to introduce myself. I am Trevor.
Shampoo: That unusual name.
Me: I am from a great foreign land!
Shampoo: OOH! Shampoo from great foreign land too!
Me: That's right. And I think we should respect each other cultures, deal?
Shampoo: OOH! Amazon tradition to battle visitor from other country!
Me: Why did I open my damn mouth? Why? Why?
*!!WHACK!!*
Me: Huh? Did something hit me?
Shampoo: *holding maces* Shampoo don't know what martial arts you practice but I win for sure!
Me: I don't practice martial arts!
Shampoo: Liar!!!
*WHACK!*
Me: Are you holding back or something?
Shampoo: Mumbles something in Chinese.
Me: Huh?
Shampoo: You afraid of cats?
Me: No.
Shampoo: Sigh.
Shampoo: Shampoo give up. Tell me your technique.
Me: What technique?
Shampoo: Secretive, are you?
Me: *streches arm out*
Shampoo: o_O
Me: Well??
Shampoo: O_O
Me: *streches arm out further*
Shampoo: You pervert!!!
Me: Wait, wait!!!
WHACK!!!
Me: Wait! Stop!
WHACK!!! SMACK!!! BONK!!! SLAP!!! BINK!!! BONK!!!
BOOOOOMMM!!!
The real Me: You know. you're right EA. I am kind of a pussy.
The real EA: No, no no. You are a BIG pussy.
The real Me: All right! That is it! I am ending this chapter now!!!
The real EA: You won't!!!
Will Shampoo take a hint? Why am I a pervert? Stay tuned for chapter 2!!!!!!!!!
The real EA: You dick!!!!
The real Me: Nyah Nyah!!!
HERE IS AN EXCLUSIVE SNEAK PEAK!!!
---------------------------------------------------------
Mousse: What is going on in there?
Whump Whump Whump Whump
Mousse: What the hell?
Whumpwhumpwhumpwhump
Shampoo: Harder! Harder!
???: C'mon!!!
Shampoo: AHH! AHH!! AAAHHH!!!
WhumpwhumpwhumpwhumpWHUMPWHUMP
Shampoo: AIIIIYYYAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*squirting sound can be heard*
???: Oohhhh. That felt messy. What the fuck???
???: Why did you explode this early dammit?
Shampoo: Mmmm.
Mousse: Damn! I should have not gone on that delivery!
*Mousse opens the door*
Mousse: What the hell???? Shampoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
???: Shit!
Shampoo: Mousse! I can explain! ------------------------------------------------------
Ohhhh yeah. Did that change your decision of selecting "back" on your browser?
"Survive with only Your Clothes and Your Charm" by dacop
Chapter 1: Lady in the Restaurant
Ok. It aint funny at first but it will when you see *HUMOR STARTS HERE*
I am in school and its recess time. I went to my usual hangout place by the shop class shed waiting for my buddies.
Me: Hi guys!
EA: Hey Trevor!
Thomas: Hey, I have a joke, I have a joke.
Thomas: Why is a dick like a gentleman?
30 mins later.
*RRRRIIIINNNNGGGG!!!*
Me: Recess is over guys!
Thomas: Damn, I was getting to the good part.
EA: Ok. I think its math next.
Me: Its science, dumbass! Its Friday today!
So we went back to the classroom but.
Thomas: Shit! Guys, I forgot my lunchbox! Help me look for it!
EA and Me: Ok.
When we were able to get the lunchbox back Thomas saw a piece of rainbowey broken glass.
Thomas: OOOOhhhh. Shiny...
EA and Me: O_o
Thomas picks it up but gives it to EA and cuts EA's arm.
EA: Shit! THOMAS!!!!!!
Thomas: Oops. Sorry. *touches EA's wound* ooohh. bloody.
EA: Guys. I'm feeling sleepy.
Me: Whoah! That must have oogly gas or sumthin!
EA: *Disappears*
Thomas: Whoah! Gimme the precious now!!!!
Me: What?
Thomas: Sorry. I couldn't resist.
[I don't own Lord of the Rings either]
Thomas: Here you can have it.
Me: *gets a cut* THOMAS!!!!!!!
Thomas: Whoops.
Me: *Disappears*
Thomas: Ohhh. I am so in deep shit now.
Thomas: Look how beautiful this is!
Thomas: *cuts himself* SHIT! Oh well.
Thomas: *disappears*
Meanwhile I woke up in a very strange place. When I tried to speak, I noticed I was speaking a different language. I think it was Japanese. Then I looked at my surroundings and I saw that it was all animated. anime style I think.
Me: Thomas! EA! Where are those guys?
When I stood up I felt funny. I saw that I was taller and more handsome and I was ANIMATED!!!!!!! Whoah!! I felt like I was 17 or something.
Me: Cooool!!! I can start hitting on women now!!!!!
*HUMOR STARTS HERE*
OOOHHHH am I gonna have fun ruining your day today. On with the humor!!!!!
Now back to where I was.
I walked out into the open when I saw a restaurant named "Cat Restaurant".
Me: Who would name a restaurant like that? What do they sell there? Cat shit? Wait! Why does that name sound familiar?
I looked into my wallet and saw.
1,000,000 yen!!!!
Me: Holy son of a bitch! I never had that much money. I don't think I have any yen either.
I went in and I sat down. This place looks verrryy familiar.
The real EA: Familiar my ass! Don't you know Ranma?
The real Me: Shut the fuck up. Just read the damn story.
Now back to me before I was rudely interrupted.
I suddenly saw a spider on my table and I jumped up and screamed so loud that everyone heard me.
Me: Holy son of a mother fucking gaylord fucker fucking a son of a.
Lady: Sir!!!
Me: Huh?
Me: *thinking* This lady looks verrry veeerrry familiar.
Me: *thinking* Since this might be a dream. I might as well have some fun!!!
Me: Hey sexy! Why don't you go to my place and we can have some fun?
Lady: *slaps me*
Me: Huh? Why didn't that hurt?
Lady: *slaps me again but to no avail*
Me: Whos yo daddy, bitch???
Lady: Is sir under the influence?
Customers: o_O
Me: No!! Why would I be considering I am HIGH on you!! Hahaha!
Me: *thinking* Wait! I know that accent and that wrong grammar anywhere!
Me: *thinking* I also recognize that blue hair! But who is she! I can't put my finger on it!
Lady: Why you staring at me like that? Me want to know!
The real EA: Ohh puhleasse. You are such a dumbass.
The real Me: That's it! I want a divorce! I mean shut up!
Now finally since EA is off my back for now.
Me: Hey! Is your name Shampoo?
Shampoo: Yes! Now about what you said.
Me: Huh? I'm sorry! I'll never do it again!
Shampoo: What do those words mean?
Me: *sweat drop* Ehehe. It means uhh.
Shampoo: mmm hmm?
Me: What. a. nice place you got here.
Shampoo: That unusual. No customer here for many weeks now sir.
Shampoo: More importantly, who are you and how do you know my name? I don't see you eat here and I don't think I see you in Nerima.
Me: Allow me to introduce myself. I am Trevor.
Shampoo: That unusual name.
Me: I am from a great foreign land!
Shampoo: OOH! Shampoo from great foreign land too!
Me: That's right. And I think we should respect each other cultures, deal?
Shampoo: OOH! Amazon tradition to battle visitor from other country!
Me: Why did I open my damn mouth? Why? Why?
*!!WHACK!!*
Me: Huh? Did something hit me?
Shampoo: *holding maces* Shampoo don't know what martial arts you practice but I win for sure!
Me: I don't practice martial arts!
Shampoo: Liar!!!
*WHACK!*
Me: Are you holding back or something?
Shampoo: Mumbles something in Chinese.
Me: Huh?
Shampoo: You afraid of cats?
Me: No.
Shampoo: Sigh.
Shampoo: Shampoo give up. Tell me your technique.
Me: What technique?
Shampoo: Secretive, are you?
Me: *streches arm out*
Shampoo: o_O
Me: Well??
Shampoo: O_O
Me: *streches arm out further*
Shampoo: You pervert!!!
Me: Wait, wait!!!
WHACK!!!
Me: Wait! Stop!
WHACK!!! SMACK!!! BONK!!! SLAP!!! BINK!!! BONK!!!
BOOOOOMMM!!!
The real Me: You know. you're right EA. I am kind of a pussy.
The real EA: No, no no. You are a BIG pussy.
The real Me: All right! That is it! I am ending this chapter now!!!
The real EA: You won't!!!
Will Shampoo take a hint? Why am I a pervert? Stay tuned for chapter 2!!!!!!!!!
The real EA: You dick!!!!
The real Me: Nyah Nyah!!!
HERE IS AN EXCLUSIVE SNEAK PEAK!!!
---------------------------------------------------------
Mousse: What is going on in there?
Whump Whump Whump Whump
Mousse: What the hell?
Whumpwhumpwhumpwhump
Shampoo: Harder! Harder!
???: C'mon!!!
Shampoo: AHH! AHH!! AAAHHH!!!
WhumpwhumpwhumpwhumpWHUMPWHUMP
Shampoo: AIIIIYYYAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*squirting sound can be heard*
???: Oohhhh. That felt messy. What the fuck???
???: Why did you explode this early dammit?
Shampoo: Mmmm.
Mousse: Damn! I should have not gone on that delivery!
*Mousse opens the door*
Mousse: What the hell???? Shampoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
???: Shit!
Shampoo: Mousse! I can explain! ------------------------------------------------------
Ohhhh yeah. Did that change your decision of selecting "back" on your browser?