Disclaimer: The Lemon Rant belongs to Apertu-I mean, Valve. This drabble contains a parody, which we believe is fair use under Section 107 of U.S. copyright law.
One sunny day at the World Meeting, Prussia passed out potatoes:
"Here's a potato. Here's a potato. Here's a potato."
"I don't want your goddamn potatoes!"
A TV ad proposal to stimulate growth in the potato subsector of agricultural commerce:
(a comforting female voice)
When life gives you potatoes, make potato salad.
"I DON'T WANT POTATO SALAD!"
Youtube:
When life gives you potatoes, don't make potato salad - make life take the potatoes back! Get mad! I don't want your damn potatoes, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Romano potatoes. Do you know who I am? I'm the Nation who's gonna burn your house down! With the potatoes. I'm going to get my Mafia to invent a combustible potato that burns your house down!
(a breath)
"Why did you pass out potatoes!"
"…'cause I felt like it."
…and that's why Prussia is banned from World Meetings and Veneziano represents Italy instead.