Closure
Closure
Disclaimer: I don't own anything...wish I did...but I don't...
She had always looked at the stars. Every night before she went to bed, she looked them; concisely, clearly and thoughtfully. Tonight was no different. Her thoughts were always the same, distant, unsettled and heart wrenching. For so many long years, things seemed to dangle, like bait on a fishing line. Nothing was ever settled and she never found closure. Not one ounce or drop. Of course a person did actually have to have the other person there to even attempt closure.
But still she never found it and looked to the wonderful stars for answers that had never came. And even then she was alone on these nights that she gazed at the black and twinkling sky. But now she really was alone. Her grandmother had long passed and the Elrics had been gone for five months after the Promise day.
And yet there was that damn closure thing...
She had thought the brief moment they shared was her closure. It was glorious, stunning, over whelming and very short lived. But it did have the desired effect of literally taking someone's heart, her heart to be exact. And every time he left, he took just a little more with him. And that was not closure.
Closure can be described as either a grand new beginning or an astray end. It can be abrupt and so meaningful. She wondered if it was perhaps a combination of the two. It was always told, that when there was a end, there is always a new beginning. And maybe in some strange way it was a new beginning. Maybe that was his point; there needn't be any closure if there was something to begin. And it seemed just like something he would think up so cleverly. She just didn't expect it to become a reality as she stared down at the growing bump at her abdomen.
It certainly didn't seem like closure. She had spent the majority of her life waiting. Waiting for him to return and live as they once did, care free and happy. Waiting for him to cheekily announce his brother was whole and that he was no longer chained. Waiting for him to express something else in his flame-filled eyes other that guilt and sorrow. And perhaps he did in that instant. He always wanted to proclaim something, prove something and outwit someone. He did just that, unexpectedly, awkwardly and irrationally. He never did think did he? It was always pure action over planning. And all control flew out the window.
She would like to call it a gift, but when she told him to shake the burden and let someone else carry it; she didn't think he would take it that far. Edward had always shouldered so many burdens, secretly and by himself. He never wanted anyone else to be involved; he wanted to pay, he wanted to atone. The one time he lifted the weight only caused more. That was the law of equivalent exchange, to gain one loses; to lose one gains. It worked out just like that. She lost him once again and gained something more significant; something-someone that proved he existed and that he cared deeply for the person carrying this so-called burden.
Winry never would intend on using the term 'burden' to really label her child; she loved that child just as much as the man who helped create its being. But it seemed more fitting that the terms of E.E. Edward had finally let go of something. She would settle for that was the closure she needed. Indeed she was few pounds heavier, but much lighter in heart; she knew something know else did. Edward loved very few people; his mother, his brother and possibly his father. But he added someone else to that small list; that she may have been a part of it all along; her.
She let out a small sigh, content on the sky above and with the life kicked and fluttered within her. Placing a hand on her belly, she felt her unborn child kick for the first time-really felt it. She hadn't noticed the foot steps breeze that grass behind her as she experience this phenomenon. Or a soft throaty giggle. To her only the stars witnessed such a feat of wonder.
She closed her eyes and counted the kicks, calculating the genetics and personality traits. A warm hand graced her bare shoulder, while two found themselves on the swell of her stomach. She inhaled imaging and relaxing. She had many moments she would dream. She never once thought of them as cruel reminders; but warm memories.
"Still out here thinking..." She heard a deep voice say, crisp and firm. She nodded dreamily.
"Still waiting..." She heard another voice, softer and deeper. Was his voice really always that deep?
"Thinkin' about the good ol' days..." The first voice asked. She imagined unlike hands around her womb. Her child squirmed a little more, giving her a nice jab in the ribs. At which the hands flinched. She nodded again, frowning slightly-the little sucker was now having a kickboxing contest with him or herself.
"Thinkin' about your sudden weight gain issue?" The voice asked arrogantly. Now the damn imaginative scene had gone and pissed her off. Even her dreams coyed with her. She was content for a nice period of time. The concept of closure was tossed out and she was glad not to have the insensitive clod near her. She wanted to stay focused on her transfixion, her moment. Just a little longer.
"Brother, it not appealing to say things like that. Especially to an auto mail engineer that wields a wrench..."
"There's no room for a damn wrench Al...shuddup, you ruining the moment." The voice hissed, as 'made up' hands pulled away.
"Yeah you're ruining the moment, Alphonse." Winry chimed in, playing the game.
"I was happily sitting here, resting my swollen feet, watchin' the stars. An' you two morons have to mess me up. You always do that...stole my dolls, ate my lunches, leave me and impregnate and piss me off some more. And you wonder why I carry a wrench-which I don't have tonight anyway...to fat to carry one in a pocket...so jus' leave me to my thoughts." She sighed, adjusting her self.
"See I told ya she didn't have a wrench..." the voice reasoned, moodily.
"You don't need your thoughts anymore." The other voice spoke.
Warm hands pressed on her shoulders gently as a pair softly cupped her face. She felt suddenly flooded with warmth. She could feel hot air at her lips and her heart churned as well as her baby.
"You...can...make...new...ones...starting...right...now..." He spoke so clearly, real and so meaningful. There was a chaste kiss thrown between each word rugged lips told.
Her eyes snapped open and all she could see is gold. Gold, determined, stubborn eyes that took her senses away. Her eyes glanced away to the long slender boyish hands that remained on her shoulders, hands she knew so well.
That was all the closure she needed. And it was as real as the starts above.
A/N: Eh a little sappy...I'm depressed what can I say?