Hi. First of all I want to thank anyone taking his time to read this. This is the first novel I write in my life. You will notice some gramatical errors, mostly because English is not my native language, so I want to apologize for any incoherent sentence you might find. I do try tho.

Also I apreciate any kind of critic as long as it's constructive. Thanks.

Regressions

This is not the first time I end up on the hospital, nor is the second. I might be actually losing the count, but I think it's the fourth time.

How? I was told that it happened while I was on the gym class, a friend of mine hit me with the ball while playing football and it seems that it broke three of my ribs. Luckily I didn't puncture any of my lungs, but the pain was enough to make me faint and my memory of the day is blurry because of that.

Osteogenesis imperfecta, or brittle bone disease, that's the name of what I have, in simple words, I have fragile bones; the most subtle of the strokes could break any of my ribs.

At least it isn't that severe, I've heard of worse cases of people who can't even walk, I guess I'm kind of lucky, in a way.

I have been optimistic about this, since my condition cannot be seen physically, aside for my eyes with a slightly, almost unnoticeably, bluish tone on my sclera, which is a normal symptom from my disease, and a well hidden scar in my left upper arm after a surgery.

However it's my fault that I ended up on the hospital this time; The first time was when I was three years old, I broke one of my ribs when I fell on the ground for whatever reason, doctors didn't make a big deal of it as my parents exaggerated the history of how it happened.

The second time happened when I was 13 years old; I was riding a rail coaster for the first time, naturally the lap bars had to break some bones, but the adrenaline disguised the feel, so it was later that day that I felt the stinging pain, then again, the doctors didn't made a big deal of it.

The third time happened 2 years ago, when I was fourteen, and it was the worst one; I was walking off the school with some friends of my class to pick the bus and a car ran over us, it wasn't that much of an impact, the car should've been driving at 25 miles per hour or so, my friends just stood up without much problem after recovering from the impact, but I didn't have the same luck.

Before that accident, I had a pretty much normal life, aside from those 2 times I ended on the hospital, I was overall healthy. After the great accident, I almost died; most of my ribs broke, one of my lungs was perforated and it started to bleed internally and I broke my left arm. Therefore the doctors discovered that what I had was a brittle bone disease and that would explain why that little accident injured me more than it would normally do.

This could have been detected earlier, but we moved from town to town almost every year due to my dad's job, so it was hard to keep the track of my exams among the several doctors that had a check on me.

Of course my parents were both crazy about it, knowing that I was more fragile than most people took out their most protective side, they wanted me to quit the school and take homeschooling. I didn't want that, I didn't want to stop going to school, but more importantly, I didn't want to accept the fact that I was different than my classmates, that I couldn't perform in the same way as they did, so I struggled my way to stay in school, but I wasn't allowed to do any sport or activity that involved contact.

I shouldn't have been on gym class, but I liked to be there just to feel normal, like I was able to do all those activities, luckily I was able to cover my disease from my classmates, I didn't wanted to be discriminated for being different, using the car accident as my alibi for not doing gym class worked out fine and no one seemed to care about me not doing exercise. As the days passed I tried to incorporate myself in the classes, sneaking up on some games they made, mostly football, of course always trying to stay safe.

So it was my fault that some random ball ended up hitting me, so it was my fault I winded up in the hospital…

Decisions

I let out a tiny yawn, as my broken ribs retains me from inhale too deeply, having waken up just some minutes ago.

I can hear the cause of my awakening from behind the hospital room door, but it's hard to make out what they are saying. I recognize some of the voices. My parents are talking to someone, a doctor maybe.

The room is quite simple, with an anachronistic tone, white seems to be the only color I can find in the room, aside from the metallic tubes of the hospital machinery. The curtains, with the same color as the walls, cover the only window in the room. Nothing covers the walls except for a tiny TV hanging in one corner of the room and a desk that seems to disappear with the walls.

I can't say I'm used to hospitals, since most of my stays have been rather quick (except for the last one, which I don't remember much of it), but I can survive a couple of days as long as I have my trusty MP3.

This is my second day in the hospital since the accident, they said that I could go home tomorrow, but I'm more concerned on what to do when I go back to school, I don't know how I'm going to explain what happened, I guess I will figure it out when the time comes.

*creak*

The door makes a loud noise as it opens, I can see the doctor entering, not looking at my general direction as he is still talking with my parents.

As my parents enter the room they notice me being awake, then both look at me with troubled faces, my mom then walks towards me and sits in the corner of the bed I'm in.

"How do you feel, dear?" She asks me, all I can do is give a generic response.

"Good."

I've got the feeling that something happened, I can tell just by looking at my mom's face.

"You know we are concerned about your health and we want the best for you, so…" So there is something important. "… We thought a lot about what to do to be sure that this doesn't happen again, and we decided that you won't be attending the school anymore."

There we go again. They know very well what I think about this so I move to complain.

"But I don't want to leave the school. I want to have a normal life like everyone else! I know that I have this bone problem and I shouldn't go to gym class, I promise I won't do it again, so please don't do this!"

She sighs and rubs her eyes with her fingers with exasperation.

"No dear, there are no buts nor second chances, the decision have been made, starting the next month, you won't be attending any school anymore. We've hired some tutors for you to have classes at home."

So there it is, no normal life for me, I'm just a fragile weirdo who can't leave home without ending up in the hospital. I feel terrible. I hate my body for being like this. I don't want this.

"I… Don't…" I mumble.

"We know" Responds my dad. "But there is no other choice at the moment."

…

The doctor, whom was forgotten in this room, clears his throat as if trying to get our attention.

"Well actually I forgot to mention, there are other options if your daughter wants to keep going to school" You forgot to tell something that important? "There are some schools that specialize in disabled students who seek to live a proper school life."

What? I widely open my eyes, waiting for more information to be given. My parents throw a sharp glance to the doctor at the same time. They sure are alike.

"Well…" *cough* *cough* "Mind if we step outside to… talk more about this Mr. and Mrs. Hayata?"

Both share a look, and then nod before heading out the room.

So there is a special school, huh? It sounds weird, certainly better than homeschooling, but I can't help feeling uneasy. Leaving the school so abruptly isn't easy, I guess it's easier for me since I can make friends without much effort, and it's not the first time I change to another school.

But there is a certain word that the doctor said that resonates in my head.

"Disabled Student"

Even saying it doesn't make it any less despicable. I guess that's what I am, a disabled student, a disabled person, a person that is not capable of doing what a normal person can do. Of course I knew this beforehand, but I always tried to evade the idea, shoving it aside, like I could hide it under the carpet. I really wish not to have this disease, but I can't do much about it, there is no cure for what I have, only some treatments that help me not to be so fragile or alleviate some of the pain.

*creak*

My train of thought got to a halt as I hear the door open again, this time both of my parents enter with a defeated expression on their faces, I can tell that they don't really want me to attend another school. The doctor just follows their tracks, but now with a pamphlet on his hand.

"Mrs. Hayata" Speaks the doctor, referring to me. "I want you to read this pamphlet, it's about a school called Yamaku Academy, all the information you need is here."

He hands me the pamphlet, there is an image of the front of the school, I presume, and it seems quite big and fancy. It doesn't look like a school at all. It reminds me more to a mental institution, or some fancy retirement home.

…

As far as I've read, it's like a normal private school, but with a 24 hour nursing staff and, of course, disabled students. The other thing I noticed is that the school is very far away from here, but there are dorms for students to use.

There is a long silence while I read the pamphlet, and then my mom speaks.

"What do you think honey? I know it isn't like the schools you've attended before, but it's an option for you to keep going to school, if you want to, of course."

She speaks, hesitantly.

"The most important thing is the nursing staff they have, so you don't have to worry about your daughter safety" Adds the doctor. "Also the other staff, such as professors, knows how to handle with disabled people, so there is little to worry about."

My mom looks uneasy, I'm sure that she still worries and that the reassuring words of the doctor do not have any effect on her. She sits on the bed again, beside me.

"You know, I still think it's better for you to stay at home, with us. Since Yamaku is a long way from here you would have to live on the dorms, you don't want that, do you?"

She looks me directly to the eyes, whilst holding my hand. A saddening sight, but I find myself unaffected.

"Mom I'm not a kid anymore, I'm about to be seventeen, I think I could manage to live on my own, besides, I still need to think about this…"

"Remember, whatever decision you make, we still love you" She kiss me on the forehead then stands and walks towards my father.

"Well, since you got less than one month to end the school you can still attend to your normal classes, but gym class is strictly off limits, and to make sure you won't do it again I will talk personally with your teachers. Also, from now on, I'm going to pick you up after the school, you heard?"

My dad says this, with a very serious tone.

"Ugh, fine."

I'm rather disappointed at this last statement, but there is little I can say about this.

"Oh, before I forget, that friend of yours, Miko, called and asked about you, I said you will be going to school tomorrow and not to worry. Bye honey, we will pick you up tomorrow."

"Ok, thanks mom. Bye"

And with that, I end up alone in the room, with the pamphlet in my hand. All I do is read the pamphlet one time, and another, thinking of what to do, until I manage to fall asleep.

I check the time on my phone, it's early in the morning. I just came back from the hospital. I have less than an hour to get dressed for school.

I'm actually quite excited to go to school, since I really get bored without someone to talk or hang out. I've been always an extrovert person. I really enjoy passing time surrounded by people, so school has always been fun for me. Although I wasn't the smartest on the class, I can handle myself by getting decent grades, nothing too fancy, but I always managed to pass.

I look to myself on the mirror just after a refreshing shower, my usually cooper and curly hair is slightly darker and straight as it is wet. I quickly glance at the time. I've got enough time to do my hair.

I check my eyes, I am glad that they are naturally blue, as it helps to distract of, or cover, the bluish tone of my sclera. No one except my parents has noticed it, or at least I hope so.

Having finished getting dressed, I put some makeup and go down the stairs to get breakfast.

My ribs are still broken, but I've been taking pain killers and making the exercises the doctor told me to do, so I can pretty much do everything with normality.

I arrive earlier than most of the class, so I sit on my usual desk. At this moment my dad is talking with the gym class teacher, I hide my head around my arms in resignation.

Classmates slowly enter the class, throwing some strange glances at me, it's like a mix of mild surprise and slight pity, did something happen?

Time passes and eventually the class starts and, shortly after, ends. During the recess time, Miko, one of my best friends in the school, greets me.

As I'm about to give a typical cheek to cheek meeting, she evades me and we end up not making contact, this is new, but I let it slide.

"So, how many things I missed? Any break up? Oh please tell me that Minako and Toshi broke up, I so hate them being a couple!"

I spit the words with a rather annoying tone, slightly bouncing up and down. It's our thing.

"Uhmm… I don't know…"

Well now she is being obviously distant, I'm pretty sure something happened.

"But something happened, right? Why are you being like this?"

Now I talk with my normal voice tone.

"Oh… Uhmm… it's just that… I happened to tell everyone why you were on the hospital"

"You did what? Why I was in the hospital? What can you know about that?"

Wait a second, she did call while I was on the hospital. Did my mom tell her that I…?

"Reiko, I'm very sorry, I swear. I didn't know the word would spread so fast, I just told Shinji and then later that day everyone was talking about it."

So now everyone knows that I have something wrong with me…

I just stand there, looking at Miko, not wanting to believe what just happened.

My stillness is quickly replaced by a staggering anger. I yell some words, or sentences, to Miko, all I can remember saying was "How could you do this to me" or "You ruined my life".

There is little I can do at this point. I can't fight the power of a spreading rumor running through the school.

It takes little time to see the power of the word in action. All my classmates are now avoiding eye contact with me and evading me in any way just to make sure that they won't touch me.

While I was walking through the school grounds, I happened to bump a person I haven't seen in my entire life, he freaked out and started yelling "Oh no I touched the glass girl, someone get some glue!"

I look around me, and almost everyone I can see is laughing, even Miko.

I can't even cry. I just fix my stare at the ground and keep walking, with my hair covering most of my face, wishing for this never ending day to finish.

The rest of the day goes slowly. I can hear people whispering behind my back, I'm sure they are talking about me. I feel so bad that even my head starts to feel dizzy, making everything around me blurry, as if my body activated a defense mechanism that makes me disappear partially from the world.

The ring bell finally goes off indicating that the day of school has ended. I walk hastily, almost running, to my dad's car.

"Hello Dear, how was your day?"

Only I know the horrid answer to that question. I refrain myself from responding, looking at my feet, trying to make the entire world around me disappear.

Instead, I take a decision.

"I will go to Yamaku…"

My voice is almost inaudible, but my dad was able to hear that.

"Are you sure? What happened?"

I don't answer. We remain silent during the ride back home.