This is just something I needed to try and get out to deal with the Season 9 finale which I'm still reeling from. This fic isn't sunshine and rainbows and the ending is not a symbol of what I want or need to see happen in the future for Calzona. It's just the muse getting something out that is related to this storyline.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Grey's Anatomy related. If I did, Arizona would not have cheated with Boswell, that's for sure. I also do not own any rights to the Alicia Keys song/lyrics featured in this fic. "Like You'll Never See Me Again" is a great song, check it out!
Callie was exquisite this night. She was the picture of beauty, wearing her hair down after having straightened it. It fell like a cascading waterfall over her dress which many were complimenting but Arizona barely noticed, too captivated by Callie's natural features… her smooth and silky hair, those beautiful brown eyes, her bright and brilliant smile. For Arizona the view in front of her was all she could take in. It was all that mattered. That was until the minute she heard the instrumental melody for Alicia Keys' "Like You'll Never See Me Again." That melody brought her out of her trance and then it was as if nothing existed in that moment besides her and Callie.
"So every time you hold me, hold me like this is the last time…"
They lay in bed wrapped up contentedly in each other. Arizona's calf over Callie's legs as if to hold her impossibly closer, her head nestled into Callie's chest and neck, breathing in the scent that was uniquely her Callie. Arizona let out a contented sigh. Callie maneuvering just slightly to be able to gaze down at her love, giving her a look asking "What was that about?" Reading Callie, something she found herself doing easily after their first several months together, Arizona attempted to answer the unspoken question. "I just… I'm just happy."
"Well I hope so," came Callie's teasing reply. "I just rocked your world," she joked. It had been the first time they had been truly and completely intimate since after the crash.
Arizona laughed loudly, happy they were back to this place of easy and comfortable banter and teasing, "Hmmm, I believe I rocked your world, Dr. Torres, as payment for your services earlier."
Callie's smile fell just a bit, wanting to be a bit more serious in the moment. "Sweetie, you know you didn't owe me anything, right? I wanted to help you, in any way I could. And if a massage was going to help, then that's exactly what I was going to do. I'm an orthopeodic surgeon, honey…" Sensing her wife's argument she cut her off, "but I'm also your wife. I am both. Let me be both. Let me massage your leg. Let me take away your pain. Let me do whatever you need, whatever you want. You just need to tell me. I'm here and that's how this works, remember?"
"I do," Arizona responded, moved by her wife's passion. "Can I tell you something I need right now?"
"Of course, what is it?"
"Just hold me," Arizona whispered quietly.
"That I can do. That I can do."
"Every time you kiss me, kiss me like you'll never see me again…."
"Callie? Earth to Callie?" Arizona tried.
"Oh, sorry… I just… I'm just… I can't believe it."
"Believe it baby, you did it!" Arizona stated proudly, a feeling of awe and inspiration also falling from her eyes.
"I mean did that just happen? Did that really happen? Did I just give my TED Talk to a room full of people and not stumble all through it or puke off to the side?"
"You did amazing, Callie. You're amazing."
"We're amazing!" Callie replied, looking on at her wife with such love and devotion in her eyes. "I can't believe you pulled this off for me, Arizona. You made this dream of mine come true." As tears clouded in Callie's eyes, voice chalk full of emotion she whispered, "Thank you."
Arizona didn't respond with words but closed the distance between them and reached up to cup Callie's cheek, gently caressing her before leaning in just a bit more to kiss her wife. It was both a sweet and emotion laden kiss. Callie's hands quickly wrapping Arizona up in an embrace as she smiled against her wife's lips.
"Every time you touch me, touch me like this is the last time…"
"So did you give our budding news journalist the inside scoop?" Arizona asked as she approached her wife who was standing at one of the nurse's stations charting.
A smile immediately came over Callie at Arizona's presence and proximity. "I did. It should be the headliner at Chisholm High tomorrow morning, barring some sort of Justin Bieber speeding thing of course," she joked.
"Oh of course," Arizona responded sarcastically. She looked around the floor, "The CDC guys gone?"
"Yeah, since the investigation is over, they cleared out of here."
Arizona let out a relieved breath. "Good. Them crawling around here was giving me the ickies."
"The ickies? Seriously?"
"Yes the ickies. Ask my kids, that's what that weird feeling you get sometimes is called!"
"You're a goof," Callie laughed.
"I'm your goof," Arizona replied with a bright smile.
"Yes, you most certainly are," Callie leaned into Arizona side, wanting physical contact with her wife.
"What do you say, we got get Sof and get out of here, huh?"Callie asked as she closed up the patient's file and extended her hand for her wife to take.
"I say that's a marvelous idea," Arizona said she took her wife's hand in hers, staring down at their joined hands for a minute and marveling at how well they fit together. The two doctors picked Sofia up from daycare and walked to their home across the street, their hands never parting.
"Promise that you'll love me, love me like you'll never see me again…"
Arizona gazed into her wife's eyes as they recited their vows. She couldn't believe she was here. After all the ups and downs, the bumps and bruises. She was here and this is exactly where she wanted to be. She was getting married, to the breathtakingly stunning woman in front of her. She was a mother, a mother to that beautiful brown eyed baby, currently asleep in her stroller. She was here. In this moment, Arizona was here. She felt whole. She felt loved. And she was in love…. in love with her wife, in love with her daughter, in love with her life. And she loved these two girls of hers just as fiercely back. She promised to love them forever.
"Momma?"
Arizona snapped back to attention and withdrew her eyes from staring at Callie at the call from her daughter.
"Hey babygirl," she said a little sheepishly.
"What are you doing here, Momma? I thought I was just going to meet you outside?" Sofia asked with a confused and concerned expression.
"Yeah, I was… but… umm… I texted you to let you know I was here but you didn't respond so I came in looking for you."
"Oh," Sofia replied. "Umm, sorry, I was helping with Mami's pictures."
Just then the hired photographer approached the twosome, "Sofia, we need you for a few more pictures with your Mami and Melanie.
"Umm, ok. I'll be right there." Sofia turned back to her mother, keeping one eye on her Mami who was staring at them both, "Momma, I have to go. Are you gonna be ok here? Maybe you should wait in the car," the 12-year-old suggested. "Really, Momma, maybe you should go?"
"No princess, I'm ok. I'll just wait for you here."
"Are you sure?" Sofia asked worriedly.
"Yes Sof. Go to your mami and take your pictures."
"Ok." Sofia walked away still very concerned. She knew this was hard on her momma and she didn't like seeing her Momma upset but she also didn't want her Momma causing a scene. This was a special day for her Mami and Sofia wasn't sure what Arizona was doing there.
As Arizona looked on from her position right outside the door, she watched as Callie, Melanie, her bride to be, and Sofia posed for picture after picture to culminate the end of the rehearsal dinner. They looked like one big happy family, smiles and laughs in abundance. A family that was meant to be Arizona's, a family that was hers until one storm wiped everything away, leaving nothing but devastation in its wake. The act of betraying her wife, her vows, it was the biggest mistake of her life. A mistake she regretted every minute spent apart from Callie, every minute she spent apart from Sofia, every minute that Melanie got to share with them. After years in therapy, Arizona finally understood what had led her to cheat but failed to still understand how it was that she actually went through with it. Years had gone by and both Callie and Sofia had come to accept what had happened. Arizona wouldn't call it forgiveness necessarily but Callie was speaking to her outside of Sofia related speech. They shared some brief conversations at work and were cordial to one another in the OR. Sofia, for her part, was too young to understand what had happened but as hospital gossip goes, it eventually caught up to the then 10-year-old and even at age 10, Sofia knew her Momma had done the unthinkable. The revelation resulted in a cold shoulder from her daughter and mean words that Arizona didn't even think Sofia was capable of. Arizona, however, knew best of all that when pushed enough, one could be capable of doing the unimaginable. Slowly but surely Arizona and Callie helped Sofia come to terms with what had transpired between her moms. They repaired their relationship with their daughter, who was understandably angry at Arizona but also angry at Callie for keeping Arizona's cheating a secret, but sometimes it still felt to Arizona that Sofia tried to protect Callie from her. It was a hard thing to swallow but Arizona wasn't sure it would ever go away. Just like she wasn't sure her love for her ex wife would ever go away. Staring at her now, Arizona felt as in love with her now as she was then and it killed her to see that love reflected out of Callie towards someone else.
And as the Alicia Keys melody continued to play in the background, Arizona only wished that the last time she had held Callie, kissed Callie, touched Callie and loved Callie, she had done so like it was the last time, like she would never see her again. Then maybe she wouldn't have let go...