Today, I decided to give Natsume a piece of my mind.
"Natsume," he returned the with a brow raised.
"What?" he said.
"I'm tired", I said.
-I'm tired with everything. All these hypocritical talks.
I'm jinxed.
Not because I'm a by passer but because I was the one who makes them pass, I'm the one who corrects. It is STRESSING.
I'm the one who rules their minds, or so I think.
They (filters, people who were in mandate) were so uptight, up to their crotches, that I was blinded. While me? I was pervasive, I let them go through (me) and correct me and judge me. But then I thought I was oppressive. Finding out that it was the compete opposite. And Natsume had seen right through me.
He knew I wasn't happy, I was a Posier', a fake!
For all I have always wanted to voice is, I am incapable of ruling anyone, not even myself. I am emotionally impaired and physically a goddamn robot. Dad was a pain. Before, I would have choked upon hearing myself say it, but it was true. A goddamn pain.
But damn with all these proclamations of agony and bitterness from the power or mandate dad had given me, all I ever heard myself say was: Let's give it a shot.
And there was I, I was given a free shot to hell.
"You know what?", he continued with an arched brow and a wide grin. "Good luck", and that's it! He left the room probably already getting curious on how would I react over his disappearance.
That jerk, he'll pay.
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It was obvious, I wasn't happy about Mikan's usual outbursts of her feelings. She needs to work it on her own. She bites more then she can chew, and now she has to pay for the , while I was there becoming the listener of her rants, I can't help but to say at the back of my head that she could do it, whatever it is SHE CAN DO IT. She needs to do it. She has to do it. For herself. and For everyone's sake.