Hey, I chose to take a little break in my other story to write this. I just figured this little one-shot would be a funny little story to do. I chuckled a few times writing it. Hope you like it! r&r

Disclaimer: I do not own any of Devil May Cry or its' characters.

'Damn, that bastard.' Nero thought. 'He always wins.' Aloud he said, "Again."

"Not sick of losing yet?" Dante taunted. "Maybe chess just isn't your think, kid…"

"Shut up, bastard, just set it up. I'm white this time." Nero was far too easy to goad into things.

"Alright. Just tell me when you've had enough ass-kicking." Dante's smirk rubbed Nero the wrong way every time. Nero's response was a very simple hand gesture. Typical of him. "Okay, all set. Go for it, tough guy."

"Just wait; I'll kick your ass." Nero warned. He made his first move. Only a pawn moved forward two places.

"That'll never get you anywhere, moving the small fries." Dante said, moving a knight.

"Shut the hell up." Another pawn.

"Try and make me." The other knight ventured forth. And so the battle begins. Piece by piece the game of logic battles on. Only interrupted by muttering and interjections of 'Bastard', 'asshole', and 'Ah, go to hell', spoken by a certain dark blue-black clad young man. The two white-haired men fought on until they finally came down to their last few pieces. A king, queen, rook, and two pawns were left for Dante, while Nero had a king, two rooks, and two pawns.

"Scared yet?" Nero's turn at taunting.

"Oh I'm just shaking in my boots…" Dante's sarcasm was greeted with a scornful look.

"You damn idiot, you'll regret the insults once I win this game."

"You just don't give up do you? You've lost 583 times. Even if you don't lose, that's only one win for you. The odds are still slightly in my favor."

"I said, shut up, you cocky asshole."

"Point proven." Dante grinned wickedly, "You're move. Careful, I'm rather fond of the number 583, I'd hate to see you act stupid again and make it 584."

"Bastard." Dante's distraction was slightly effective; it cost Nero one of his pawns as he placed it too near Dante's queen; also setting him up to lose a rook.

"Sometimes, I think you want me to win." Dante said sadly, shaking his head.

"Shit." Nero sacrificed his other pawn to rescue his rook. Dante, fully confident, played along, milking the game for as much time as possible. Little did he know, Nero was finally getting a clue. The move set up Dante to lose his queen.

"Aw, too busy celebrating to realize you haven't won yet?" Nero would get as much out of this as he possibly could. Nero's luck (or was it finally a little skill?) held out.

Dante was down to his king, while Nero had his king and a rook.

"Hahaha! Look how the tables have turned!" In only 4 moves Nero took the advantage.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up big shot," Dante sighed, "It feels so odd to be losing. It's about damn time."

"Fuck off. Oh, and Checkmate"

"Son of a bitch…. So it is." Dante grinned, "Congrats. One out of 584 total games. Huh, are you gonna focus on finally beating me in a real fight, then, too?"

"NO! No, you shut the hell up! I WILL get my moment for this. You can't stop me!"

"Whoa… slow down kid. I'm just teasin' ya"

"Damn straight." And after a pause. "Wanna go a round?"

"Haha, you never learn do ya?"

Hope you guys liked it! I'd love to hear what you think, and if I should add more funny little one-shots! Feel free to message me any ideas you want me to write about!