Inspired by K-Pop girl group C-REAL and their song, 'Sorry But I,' about being in a relationship and being unable to say 'I love you,' because you're still in love with your ex.
Sorry, But I...
There were moments in Gaara's love life that felt like things were perfect. One of the easiest moments was during sex. The one time when two bodies melded into an united euphoria that thrummed through each others' veins. Sex is one of the most beautiful things any creature can experience. It's primal, it's romantic. You can release everything about you and let your partner in deeper than you ever could on a verbal level. Done with the right person out of love, it is breathtaking, like a firework display lighting up the night sky. Gaara always associated fireworks with Sasuke though.
During the act, Gaara's blue eyes would look up at the dark-haired boy, trembling in pleasure, digging his nails into Sasuke's shoulders. He could feel the pressure pushing against him, threatening to go as deep as he possibly could. Gaara was moved around in every position possible, trying to get the most of the performance. With knees pushed by his head, he somehow was able to still feel romance between Sasuke and him. He thought about every sweet gesture the grunting man above him did for him. Gaara could remember their first kiss. The clumsy lipped kiss that Sasuke messed up because Gaara moved. Despite it, he still felt the shock between them, a zing that propelled Gaara after him, even with a freshly wounded heart. He knew he could become harder from reflection alone and Sasuke would take notice immediately.
Gaara's face would fall into the feather-filled pillow, feeling hands roam his body until taking hold of his manhood. He'd jerk at the touch, yet fall victim to its hold, squirming as fingers trailed up and down so agonizingly slow. Sasuke would continue to move inside Gaara, slowing down, taking his time. This was the firework show. Consistent at first, exploding in short bursts, then mellowing out, shooting more glitter and flares to build up anticipation. The glitter would fade soon enough, but until then, Gaara had to endure it. He had to struggle through the nerves that twitched under Sasuke's touch. He could feel every little detail of Sasuke's body on him and God, did he love it. He felt the semi-calloused fingertips rubbing his phallus head, while the other hand roughly clutched at his hip. Gaara knew Sasuke was controlling the beast. He had too or it'd be over too soon.
Sasuke would impel Gaara more and more, picking up the pace. The redhead could feel the his skin burning from the heat of Sasuke's, yet those petal soft kisses lingered over his shoulder blades. The enchantment would lure Gaara into Sasuke's love spell. He'd arch his back, beckoning Sasuke to put everything he had into Gaara. With a bite of his lip, Sasuke would speed up. plunging further into the redhead's lithe body. Gaara would clench the pillow and moaning and gasping would fill the air, along with the smack of skin on skin. Gaara could only roll his eyes back in indulgence, praying to feel like this forever. Intertwined with the older man's feelings in absolute synergy.
A sting of sharp pleasure would roll through each of his vertebrae suddenly, causing him to unleash an irrepressible wail. With his mouth gaped open, his head is shoved into the pillow, muffling the noise. He starts to bite his lip as the thrusts speed up. Harder, harder. Faster, faster. The fireworks are reaching its apex and Gaara? He would participate himself, meeting Sasuke's ramming hips at his speed. He'd feel the older man prodding against him in the same exact spot, sending flares of utter bliss through his body. Gaara wanted more. He needed more.
Nails threatened to break skin on Gaara's hips. Hell, they might have already, but the redhead wasn't caring in the least. He could feel the sweat rolling down his abdomen and meeting the wounds, stinging in all the right ways. His masochistic ways would only play more into their sex though as Sasuke continued to slam into the younger man.
Gaara could faintly hear through the groans the sweet words Sasuke always spoke. About Gaara's beauty, his sex appeal, his perfection. It was the only time he could accept Sasuke's words and take them to heart. He allowed the voice of sincerity leak into his heart and felt proud he found a man so spectacular. He listened, he shared, he took care of the younger man. Gaara wasn't perfect, Sasuke was...
He couldn't tell whether it was from the sex or his emotions, but he knew tears were dripping down his face. He'd bury his head into the pillow, silently repeating what he couldn't bring himself to say. 'I love you, Sasuke. I love you.'
A sudden burst of ecstasy would ride through him, clawing at the sheets, finishing with his lover's name on his lips. Gaara's name would shouted as he felt a sudden warmth inside him and running down his leg. Gaara could almost hear the grand finale fireworks going off. Bodies would collapse and collect their breaths, recovering from their coital act. A peaceful stillness would sit between the two men as they reveled in their post-orgasm feelings. Gaara could still feel Sasuke inside of his, penis occasionally twitching inside. Though the swelling went down, he still felt filled to the brim. Sasuke clung to Gaara's back with his head resting on his shoulder.
"I... love you," was the breathless confession Sasuke gave before seemingly dozing off.
Gaara listened to the steady breathing of his partner and took hold of the hand resting on his chest. He said it again. He dared to say the words that typically stabbed Gaara in the gut, but it was different this time. The redhead was full of contentment, enraptured by Sasuke's love. He opened his mouth, replying to the unconscious body resting against him, "I lo... I love..." Gaara struggled to get the words out. Although they lounged on the tip of his tongue, they held on with an iron clad grip, refusing to visit the open air.
He gripped the hand on his chest hard and pressed it closer to his heart. He wanted Sasuke to feel his heartbeat. Sasuke's heart beat admitted its love to him, so maybe he'd understand if he felt his. It was slightly pointless since the older man was in slumber, but it was the meaning that mattered. Gaara shut his eyes and begged to himself, 'Let him know I love him. Please, let him know.' As it repeated through his head, he felt his own eyes flickering, relaxing on their own accord. Gaara momentarily fought against it. He didn't want to sleep without Sasuke knowing how he felt. He was vulnerable and easy to read after sex, he could be the man he wanted to be outside the bedroom: honest and completely smitten. It's what he should have been in the first place.
"I love..." he struggled once more, trying to shove the words out of his mouth. He managed to get the first syllable to Sasuke's name out before giving into the Sandman's dust.
Another failure, another wound to both boys' hearts.
A/N: This is actually a clip from one of my various plot bunnies that never came to term. I figured I'd at least put up this one scene because it's completed enough or at least I think it is. Apologies if it seems too short/incomplete (it is also unedited from months ago), but like I said, it's just one of the only clips that could stand alone without the back story.