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Sasuke ran through the village, his feet a flurry on the ground.

Alucard ran through the village, his feet a flurry on the ground.

Sasuke tripped, but stumbled on in his quest.

Alucard mentally amused himself by noticing an interesting looking tree off in the distance, but kept running.

The two smacked right into each other.

It was love at first sight.

I wanna hold you till I die…till we both break down and cry…I wanna hold you till the something in me subsides…

Somewhere in the distance, a gecko was crying.

As they sat on the ground staring at each other, the vampire they were both chasing got away.

"Hot coffee!" shouted Sasuke.

"By the Hammer of Thor!" Alucard agreed.

"If I don't catch that vampire ninja," Sasuke said, "I won't be able to pay this month's rent on the gigantic Uchiha manor, which is conveniently isolated and the perfect place for a romantic trist in the moonlight."

Alucard says, "Ah, that sucks!"

Sasuke says, "I know!"

Alucard says, "You could always come stay with me in my dark lair beneath the earth where there is no sunlight to mar your excruciatingly pale skin. It's not the perfect place for a romantic trist in the moonlight, but it's good for funerals."

"Hot coffee!" Sasuke shouted again.

"Wrong!" Alucard remarked. "Cold coffee!"

So then they retired to Alucard's lair under the Hellsing Mansion. Integra gave them a wary a look as they passed through the foyer and down the stairs ripping at one another's clothes.

And then they had sex and smoked a cigarette…and it was great.


And that's the fic! We hope you guys liked it! We worked so hard putting it together! It took us like twelve hours! Please give us a million comments!