"Hhh...hhhhh..."

The sound of his wheezing brought me a sense of dread. I could see him across the hallway, leaning against the wall for support, holding himself. There was blood dripping down his arms from where his nails had dug into his flesh.

"G-Gamzee?"

The only response I received was more wheezing.

"Hhhhh..."

Upon closer inspection, Gamzee's face paint was different. There were black circles painted around his eyes, and instead of his goofy clown smile, there was a more cheshire cat like grin with teeth. On either side of his mouth were black circles, and his horns seemed to be turning pale. His mane of hair was more tangled and matted than it usually was.

Taking a step closer, I reached my hand out for him.

"Gamzee..." I choked back tears.

Gamzee's head snapped toward me, his eyes glowing a vibrant yellow-orange and his pupils dilated. He stretched out a shaky hand, his fingers uncurling slowly towards mine.

"Kar... hhh... kat..."

Our hands interlocked and I pulled him into a tight embrace. Gamzee just stayed limp, putting his full weight on me, his arms lolling around my neck and his head slung over my shoulder. I collapsed onto my knees, still holding him. We stayed like that for a long while. Nothing could be heard but the sound of my sniffling and his occasional wheezing.

I forced myself to look at Gamzee's face. Pushing him back gently, leaning him against the wall, I brushed the hair out of his eyes. He grabbed my wrist lightly, and pushed my palm to the side of his face. His skin was almost ice cold, but it was giving off a radiant heat over the chill. I couldn't stop the tears from escaping my eyes this time.

Gamzee smiled slightly, "Don't... hhh... worry brother... hhh... I'm gonna be... hhh... just fine..."

He brushed a thumb across my cheek, wiping away my tears.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... It's my fault... I could have... but I didn't... and the spectres... and you... I should have... and then you... and this... and I-"

My rambling was silenced by his lips. They were soft and bitter tasting, like black licorice. He placed his hands on my face, gently tilting my heads to the side. I responded by throwing my arms around his neck. I could feel him smile slightly just before he pulled away. Tears were still streaming down my cheeks as Gamzee attempted to brush a few away. But he gave up quickly, realizing there were too many to catch. He kissed me again, harder this time, more desperate. As his hands began inching their way up my shirt, I wound my fingers into his hair. His hands were cold, summoning a gasp from my lungs.

Suddenly, Gamzee pushed me back and threw an arm over his mouth, eyes squeezed shut. He was thrown into a painful fit of body racking, hoarse coughs. I sat there, rubbing his back, waiting for it to subside.

He reached out with his free hand, grabbing my forearm. His nails dug into my skin, drawing blood as he scraped them down.

"Gamzee," I hissed.

His hand recoiled, shaking, as his cough slowly began to subside. Gamzee's entire body was visibly quaking, either with pain or fear, or both, I couldn't tell.

He sat there, staring astonishedly at his hands. His right hand had my cherry red blood encrusted under the fingernails and dripped down the fingers into the palm. His left hand was covered in a thick, black liquid that was rolling down his arm where he had been coughing into.

Gamzee looked up at me, pain in his eyes. He was no longer wheezing.

"I'm sorry..." he choked quietly, "I'm so sorry, Karkat."

"Shoosh. Gamzee, no, I'm sorry. I should have gone with you, or at least checked up on you more often. I shouldn't have let you wander around the meteor by yourself knowing there were spectres everywhere. I'm a terrible moi..." my voice trailed off.

I wasn't sure whether to call myself his moirail or his matesprit. We weren't either. We were stuck somewhere in between and we both knew it. We were both flushed for each other, but were always too afraid to act on it. Letting him wander around alone, unprotected. I wasn't matesprit material anyways.

Gamzee grabbed my shoulders with his blood encrusted hands, giving me a firm shake. We locked eyes. He was staring me down with concern, uncertainty, helplessness, and something else I couldn't quite place.

"It's not your fault. I should have waited for you, instead of going on my own. But I went on my own, and a spectre caught me off guard. So don't blame yourself. I don't blame you for this. There is nothing we can do now, except face it."

I nodded, attempting to swallow more tears.

We stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Until Gamzee gave in and pulled me into another bittersweet kiss. But it was short lived.

"KARKAT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" someone seethed from a distance.

Gamzee and I both jumped. I looked behind me to see Sollux standing a couple yards down the hallway. His hands and eyes sparked with red and blue as I felt a pressure on my shirt. Sollux was using his powers to drag me away from Gamzee.

In a panic, I reached out and clutched at Gamzee. But my attempts failed. I was soon dragged to the other side of the hallway and forcefully slammed against the wall. I was pinned there, unable to do anything but writhe and scream. Gamzee under the same predicament.

"No! Gamzee, no!" I cried desperately.

Sollux walked calmly down the hallway until he was standing in front of me.

"LET ME GO YOU BULGEHOLE! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" I spat at him.

"Oh, I underthtand. I underthtand perfectly well. But I can't let you do thith," he sighed sympathetically, "I won't let you do thith to yourthelf, Karkat. And thame on you Gamzee for indulging him."

Sollux turned to Gamzee, glaring at him, "If you love him ath much ath you theem to, you thould know better. Once pothethed, there ith nothing we can do bethideth wait for the thpectre to take over. Then we have to put you to retht. You can't control it Gamzee. But if you turned while doing thingth like what you were doing before, Karkat would be in theriouth danger. Protect him from yourthelf. Gamzee-"

"SHUT UP!"

"Karkat, tho help me. I will uthe my pthiionicth to clothe your mouth."

"YOU WOULDN'T DO- mmf!"

"Hhh... Karkat... Sollux is right... But, Sollux, please... Hhh... I can feel it... It's going to happen soon... Hhh... I want... To spend my last few minutes... Hhh... With my m... Matesprit..."

Sollux looked torn as he glanced between me and Gamzee.

"Please... You can stay right there... Hhh... And as soon as I start turning... Hhh... You can... Hhh... You can... "

Sollux folded his arms, releasing his psiionics.

I scrambled over to Gamzee, grabbing his face, "It's not going to happen soon. It's not! There's gotta be a way to fight it! Right Sollux?!"

Sollux just cast his gaze to the floor, remaining silent, arms still crossed.

"Gamzee, we can fight this!"

"Nah hhh... bro. We can't..."

"Don't say that! Yes we can!"

Gamzee was thrown into another coughing fit. He pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them, and putting his head down. His body shook violently. When it stopped, he looked up at me, tears of pain in his eyes. His face was riddled with agony.

"I can feel it... hhh... clawing at my heart. Like icicles... hhh... being slowly forced through my chest... I can't... Hhh... Hhh... Hhh... Karkat... I... Hhh... I love you... Hhh... More than anything... I was always... Hhh... Too afraid to act on it... I see it was pretty stupid now... Hhh... Really... Really stupid..."

He looked away, chuckling, "I'm an idiot!"

I grabbed his face again, forcing him to look at me, and pulled him into another kiss.

"I love you too..."

Gamzee smiled, sadly. He made a move to put his arms around me, but quickly recoiled, gasping.

"Don't... hhh... look..." he choked.

On cue, Sollux used his psiionics to pull me over to him. His psiionics coaxed me into his chest, where I could only see the fabric of his black Gemini shirt. I didn't bother trying to turn my head, I knew Sollux had his psiionics locking it in place. I could hear Gamzee gasping and sputtering in pain. I could hear bones cracking, blood splashing.

"Don't look," Sollux whispered softly as he moved away from me.

He no longer had his psiionics focused on me. They were on Gamzee. Or what was left of him. There was a horrifying, guttural screech that made me cover my ears. But, the sound was cut short with a snapping sound.

Sollux' shadow was cast on the ground in front of me. I was still standing in the same spot, staring idly at the floor. He didn't say a word as I collapsed on the ground. I stared at my shaking hands. Gamzee was gone.

I forced myself to look at what was left of him. Bone thin frame. Shark like mouth. Black liquid seeping from his eyes and mouth. His neck, snapped and bent at an unhealthy angle. He was left slumped against the wall. His hair was vine like and looked something similar to dreadlocks. The bones in his fingers and toes were stretch into needle sharp points. It was a gruesome sight.

I cradled my head in my hands, crying once again. I felt hands pick me up and wrap around me. Flinging my hands around them, I sobbed uncontrollably into their chest.

"Shoosh," Sollux murmured, rubbing a hand up and down my back, "I'm here."

"Don't leave me," I sniffed, hugging him tighter, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt.

"I promithe. I won't."