Dan was nineteen, nervous, and a new college student.
And according to his resident advisor he was meant to be dorm mates with Phillip Lester. He walked away from the front desk, and headed in the general direction he was instructed to go.
He went down a long corridor, and then up a flight of stairs. The numbers on the sheet of paper he was given were beginning to match up to the ones on the dorm doors.
It didn't take quite as long as he'd expected it to when he finally found the correct room. The door had been left open, and when he stepped inside, he found another boy there. Well, a man, really. A tall, slender man with hair jet black and ironed straight, dressed in a plaid shirt and black jeans.
Dan made a point to make a lot of noise by shuffling his suit case that he carried and clearing his throat.
The man looked around at him from where he'd been making his bed that was against the east wall of the room.
He smiled but in a confused tone and a deep voice, he said, "Hi?"
"Are you Philip?"
"Ugh," he cringed. "Call me Phil, please."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Phil then."
"It's alright." He grinned, and Dan found it a bit infectious. "You must be Daniel, right?"
"Erm, just Dan is fine."
"Alright then, "just Dan." I've just been tidying things up. Make yourself comfortable I guess." Phil returned to fixing his bed linens and Dan dragged his suitcase over to let it sit at the foot of the unmade bed. He dropped his backpack there as well and put his blanket and pillow at the head of the bed.
He was glad he brought a blanket and pillow from home. He considered unpacking straight away. But for now, he wanted to rest. The train ride had been a long one.
He slipped his sneakers off of his feet, leaving him with his black socks on, and brought his legs up onto the bed. He let his head rest on his pillow, curling up on his side.
Phil glanced over and grinned at him before continuing to straighten a few things out.
"You like muse?" Dan asked as he looked over the posters that were hanging on Phil's side of the room.
"Yeah, they're the greatest. Do you listen to them?"
"Yeah," Dan grinned. "They're my favorite band."
"What's your favorite album?"
It was the end of first term and everyone had managed to survive their exams. Dan was exhausted and totally fried from all of the studying he had done.
He returned to the dorm and he swore there was chorus of hallelujah when he looked at his bed.
"Hey," Phil said with a smile. "How was your exam?"
He collapsed onto his bed and mumbled a, "fine," to Phil.
"So, I'm going to go out to eat and get a couple of drinks with everyone, why don't you come along?"
"I'm really tired, Phil. Maybe next time."
"Okay. I'll catch you later. Call me if you need anything."
"Sure."
Phil put his wallet and phone into his pockets, looking over Dan's curled up figure. He resolved to return early for Dan's sake.
Dan was studying, reading through his law textbook when Phil came through the door, holding the hand of a short, brunette man. Phil stopped in his tracks when Dan looked round at him.
"Dan," he said apologetically. "I forget you get out of class earlier now."
Dan looked away from Phil as a very unreasonable and unsettling feeling of impatience swept through him.
"Yeah."
He heard a few hushed voices, the door shut quietly, and then Phil shuffled over a bit closer to Dan.
"Are you okay?" Phil lowered himself to his bed.
"Yeah, I'm fine, Phil." He fisted his hand, resting the side of his head on it. "Just studying."
"Okay. Well, I'll be back around in a bit, okay?"
"Yeah."
Phil returned to the dorm after class, and Dan didn't have any homework that urgently needed doing.
"No homework?" Dan asked him with a grin, pausing the video game he was playing on the television he and Phil shared.
"No. You?"
"Uh-uh. We should go see that movie we were talking about. What'd you think?"
"Erm, well, I told Stephen I'd go with him to see it tonight."
"Oh." Dan frowned. "Well, we haven't done much in a while. He'll be fine with it, don't you think?"
"Erm, I dunno, Dan."
"Okay. Well, next time or something." Dan returned to his game, his expression flat with disappointment.
Because Phil was his best friend, why shouldn't Dan get to see the movie with him? There are other movies and Stephen will get over the one time that Phil canceled their plans. Why does Stephen deserve all of his goddamn attention? Phil was his best friend. Dan was the person that he chatted with from across the room each night, Dan was the person who waited up all night when Phil had gone out just so that he could tell him goodnight before he slept, Dan was the one…
A heavy sigh escaped him. Phil was his best friend. True. But he also deserved the respect of not trying to be swayed out of other plans, especially with his boyfriend.
"You know what?" Phil said, and Dan glanced up at him. "You and I will go see the movie."
"Are you sure? I know he must really want to see it with you. You should go with him." Dan forced himself to sound impartial.
"No. I want to go with you."
"Okay, then." Dan smiled.
Dan had been lying in bed with a book and headphones in his ears. From his peripheral he saw the dorm door open, and Phil was standing there.
He looked upset, and he was saying something to someone before he walked inside.
Dan knew that if he hadn't had headphones in his ears then he would have heard the door shutting a bit louder than necessary.
Phil walked over to his bed, and lay across it, burying his face in his arms over his pillow. Dan watched him, concern knitting his eyebrows.
He realized Phil's shoulders began to quake and he sat up quickly, pulling his headphones out of his ears.
"Phil?" He got up and crossed the few feet of space between the beds. He lowered himself to sit on the edge of the bed.
"Dan," Phil said, his voice muffled by his arms and pillows.
"What happened?"
"We broke up."
"You broke up? You mean you and Stephen?"
"Yes."
"I'm sorry, Phil."
"It's not your fault. Don't apologize."
"But it is my fault, isn't it? I heard you guys arguing the other day about the stupid movie. You should have just gone with him, Phil."
"No, Dan. It's not your fault at all. He was a bit… overbearing sometimes, anyways."
"What'd you mean?"
Phil finally rolled over to look at Dan.
"He was jealous. And not just when I wanted to hang with you. He acted pissed or weird if I wanted to hang with PJ or Chris, too."
"That sucks. I didn't realize."
"Yeah, well, it's over now."
"I'm still sorry."
"Seriously, don't be."
"Is there anything I can do?"
"Well, one thing."
Dan smiled, but pressed his lips together. "What?"
"Can you, like, maybe cuddle me?"
"Yeah," he said softly. "Scoot over a bit."
Dan had managed to be coerced into attending a Halloween party that PJ was putting on. Loads of people were going to be there, but Dan was kind of just looking forward to drinks and candy.
He'd decided he'd be a generic vampire, while Phil was a bit more creative and dressed himself in an animal onesie, but wore makeup to look as if he were dead.
"You look ridiculous," Dan told him with a laugh after he returned from the restroom. Phil was leaning towards his mirror, putting the final touches on his makeup.
"Do not," Phil argued, but grinned at Dan through the mirror, and then he turned around, taking in Dan's black slacks, white button up, and black cloak that was draped over his shoulders.
And Dan must have been imagining things but there was a sudden hunger in Phil's eyes that caused a rush to run through him. He forced the feeling away, but his face grew hot as he approached the mirror to put a bit of makeup on his own face to complete the vampire look.
The next morning, Dan couldn't quite remember the second half of the party, but apparently Phil had walked him back to the dorm while he stumbled along drunkenly.
The sunlight from the window burned his eyes, and at first he felt fine, but then after a few moments, his head began to pound through the fog. His stomach turned as he tried to sit up.
"Are you okay?" Phil was sitting up at the desk, seemingly waiting for Dan to wake up.
Thank fucking god it was Saturday, Dan thought, or he would have been so fucked.
"I think I might be sick," he said weakly.
"I'll take you to the restroom, c'mon."
Dan moaned as his head spun, but let Phil walk him to the restrooms where they'd made it just in time for Dan to empty the contents of his stomach into a toilet.
Phil had gotten a towel wet with warm water that he let Dan use to wipe his face and he passed him a water bottle as well to rinse and drink from.
"I'm sorry," Dan said. He was ashamed that Phil had seen him when he was in such a bad state.
"Don't apologize." Phil said and Dan knew what he was going to say next, but he still rolled his eyes. "You just need to take it easy."
Dan looked down at his phone, as Phil quickly sent him a picture message. It was growing later in the afternoon and Phil had gone home to see his family for the holidays.
Someone had taken a picture of Phil with a t-shirt he'd been given.
I'm glad you're having fun, was Dan's reply.
Yeah, I am. We're about to eat I'll text you back in a bit
Dan didn't reply that time, but wished his parents hadn't gone out of the country for the holidays and that he could go home to see them. Or maybe, he thought selfishly, Phil could have just stayed at their school for Christmas. He and Phil had gifts to exchange anyways.
After Dan had eaten dinner in the campus cafeteria (god bless those who were still working on Christmas) and he guessed that Phil had as well, his phone rang. His caller ID showed Phil's picture.
"Hey," he said when he answered.
"Hey," he could hear the smile in Phil's voice. "How is it going?"
"Fine. I'm just… a bit bored I guess." He answered.
"I'll be back by the morning after tomorrow."
"Yeah, I know." Dan said. It was a bit quiet for a moment and then he asked, "Get anything good this year?"
"Oh, yeah." Phil launched into a description of a few gifts he'd been given, and promised to give Dan his gift as soon as he returned.
"That's cool." Dan had said. "I, erm… I kind of miss you, Phil."
"Yeah," Phil heaved out a sigh. "Yeah, I miss you too, Dan."
Dan was lying in bed. It was quite late, but he was having the worst time getting to sleep. He glanced over at the alarm clock. Phil had gone to hang with Chris and PJ, but hadn't made it back yet, even though it was the better half of an hour passed midnight.
Closer to one in the morning, Dan heard the dorm door open and he continued to lie quietly, hoping that now he'd be able to sleep since Phil's return.
Unfortunately he managed to remain lying awake for another good quarter of an hour. By that point Phil had changed and climbed into his own bed.
Dan considered saying something to Phil, but it was late, and he just wanted to sleep, but then he heard the sound of Phil's pajama pants shifting and his elevated breaths. He heard the sound of skin sliding against skin and fuck, it was so hot. Dan shifted, and suddenly Phil went very quiet. Probably looking over to be sure that Dan had not woken up.
Dan forced his breathing to sound even and deep, and he seemed to convince Phil that he'd been asleep still as the noises that he was previously making continued.
He wondered what Phil was thinking about as he heard his breathing pass in short, erratic bursts, and sudden shifts of the blankets.
And then his breathing was slow again, reduced to pleased sighs. Dan heard the blankets shift again and then when Phil's breathing was completely deep and even, he slipped a hand into his own pajama pants.
"No," Dan said. "Chris, don't."
"I'm gonna do it."
"Chris, you're an-," PJ stopped as Chris recklessly threw his bottle of alcohol into the fire and there was a surge of flame and heat.
"Chris! That's such a waste," Dan exclaimed.
"It was cool, though."
"Ugh," was Dan's response. He took a swig of his own drink.
The four of them, Phil, Dan, Chris, and PJ had gone camping. It was PJ's idea for their spring break, and both Dan and Phil decided it wasn't a bad one.
However, after drinking far too much, Dan woke in the middle of the night with a splitting headache and a full bladder.
He and Phil were sharing a tent, their sleeping bags on either side of the small shelter and a heater near the entrance aimed towards their feet. The heater had already been shut off and it was frigidly cold in the tent.
He really would rather wet himself than try and leave the little bit of warmth the tent provided to relieve himself, but at the same time he wanted to go and do just that.
After a few moments of arguing with himself he slipped out from underneath his blankets and slipped his feet into his converse without bothering to tie them and quietly climbed out of the tent.
He shivered and his teeth chattered, but he was able to relieve himself around the side of a nearby tree. He returned quickly to the tent, but the combination of his headache and the cold, kept him from getting back to sleep.
He was shifting beneath his blankets, trying to find the warmest way of holding himself, but could not find comfort, nor relief from his headache.
"Dan?"
"Yeah."
"Are you okay?"
"I'm cold and I don't feel very well."
"Are you hung over?"
"Yeah."
"I told you to take it easy, didn't I?"
"Did you?"
"Oh, jeez, Dan."
"Look, I'm sorry. But I'm really cold and feeling like shit. Do you have pain medicine?"
"Yeah. Give me a sec."
Phil propped himself up on one elbow, and pulled his overnight bag towards himself. Dan heard the sound of a pill bottle and Phil's reusable water bottle.
"Here," Phil said, as he reached across the tent towards Dan.
"Thank you," Dan sat up, still shivering from the combination of the pain and cold, and took the items from him.
Phil reached over to turn the heater on as he replied, "You're welcome."
Hastily, Dan opened the medicine bottle and emptied two pills into his hand. He tossed them into his mouth and then downed them with a swig of water.
After Dan returned the medicine and water to Phil he tried to settle back onto his pillow and pulled his blankets tight around himself. He considered putting another layer of pajama pants on.
He heard Phil crawling across the tent and he looked around at Phil.
"Scoot over a bit," he said to Dan.
"What are you-?"
"I'm cold too now that you've woken me up. Scoot."
Dan shifted forward inside his sleeping bag and Phil slipped into it. His body was pressed close to Dan's, and it was so warm and cozy. He brought the blankets up and over their shoulders.
"By the way, you don't have to apologize for getting hung over. Just," Phil paused, his voice softening. "Be careful. I worry about you sometimes."
"I'm fine," Dan insisted.
"Says the man who just took two pain pills in the middle of the night. And it's not the first time." Phil was partially joking, but it was true and it was a little worrying.
"Phil, I'm fine. Okay?"
"Okay. I'm sorry."
Despite their heated moment, Phil still had his arms wrapped around Dan as securely as ever.
"No," Dan sighed. "I shouldn't be so short with you. The headache makes it worse. I really appreciate this, Phil."
"It's no problem. Try to get some sleep. I'll turn the heat off in a bit."
"Okay, thanks Phil."
"You're welcome."
And with his head headache subsiding, which Dan thought couldn't be from the pain medicine alone, and Phil's body keeping him warm, he managed to get back to sleep.
"I'm so happy for you," Dan smiled at his beaming friend.
"I'm happy for me too."
Phil's mom took a picture of the two of them, and Dan took one for him and his family.
He removed his cap, and handed it over to his mom, who stowed it away in one of those zip-up, long, plastic bags you'd find at dry cleaners. They'd bought his cap and gown to keep, because he was very proud that he had graduated and he was excited to get a new job.
They'd planned for Dan to stay with Phil and his family for a few days before he'd return back to campus. Dan still had a couple of years to finish, and god, it felt like forever, and he had no freaking clue what he was going to do when Phil left.
That night Dan and Phil slipped off to bed after spending the better part of the evening with Phil's family. They were to sleep in Phil's old room, where his parents had set up two twin sized beds. At first they were lying on either bed, but Phil was lying face up, and Dan was lying on his side as their voices gently filled the darkness.
After a couple moments of peace, however, Phil got up from his bed, and then crawled in next Dan.
He said to Dan while he gave into the cuddle urge, "I'm so glad you were assigned to be my dorm mate a few years ago, Dan. When I get a new job, and I find my own apartment or house, I want you to live with me. We can live someone near the school, so that you can finish school and get your degree."
"You want me to live with you?"
"Yes, Dan. You're my best friend. You've been there for me through a lot of things."
"You've been there for me, too."
"So does that mean you'll move in with me?"
"Yeah." Dan said, squeezing Phil just as tightly. "I'd love to live with you, Phil."
Phil unlocked their townhouse, their new home, and he pushed the door open. They'd gotten a look at the house before signing the lease, but entering it with the knowledge that it was their own, felt much different.
Dan stepped inside and then laid the box he carried on the ground. Smiling at the potential of the empty house, he looked over at Phil, who said, "Welcome home, huh?"
"Welcome home," he agreed.