Welcome one and all… Dr. Seuss references! Fanfic is for Snape lovers and Haters alike. If you can't stand insanity,
then i feel sorry for you!
Ch.1 NOT a morning person.
The Potion was almost ready...
"One Fish, two fish. Red fish, blue fish." Severus read as he plopped the propper fish into the
bubbling kettle.
"All I need is a reindeer!" Prof. Snape looked around. But since reindeer are scarce,
there were none to be found. Would that stop this professor? no, he simply said.
"If I can't FIND a reindeer, I'll make one instead!" So he called over malfoy and took some pink
thread, and he tied two big horns to the top of his head.
"Oh Danggit!" He shouted, not caring that the students had stopped paying attention to his class
and started reading an odd fanfic that had just appeared online called:
Severus Snape's Sinister Sticker Escapade. "There's one more Ingredient! Stupid footnotes!"
Professor Snape pulled out his pink Hello Kitty Designer Glitter Bifocal glasses to read the
fine print of this interesting potions lesson plan that had just appeared on his desk that day.
"Dearest Doctor Octopus... Oh wait, scratch that, Professor Snape! you need one more ingredient
for this potion that will make your wildest dreams come true: Harry Potter Stickers.
Sincerely or not, you choose,
The Author.
"Dang that bloody author!" Professor snape shouted. "Why cant storybook characters like me have
even ONE NORMAL DAY without something totally funny, tradgic, Romantic, or otherwise appealing
reading material happening to us all the time!"
"Alright! I'll FIND the stickers! You'll see! and then I'll have some time to bask in my normal
days before she starts writing again."
Little did professor snape know that what was ahead was harder than he expected,
until he started reading this paragraph slowly appearing on the wall.
"Well, off to Knocturn alley!" Professor snape sang as he grabbed his pink parasol with black
letters reading 'PUNK.'
He then realized:
Even though those vending in knocturn happily distributed hoards of Hello kitty, Barbie
(A malfoy personal favorite), Bratz, and brittany spears merchandise to someone with a suitable
cash supply...
one harry potter stickers request from him and it'd be either St. Mungos, or Avada Kedavra.
Severus was puzzled, because Knocturn ally was where he shopped. The ONLY place he shopped.
The thought of diagon alley never even crossed his mind.
"AHA!" the professor congratulated himself... "I'll ask voldemort!"
Which, of course, was almost the stupidest thing he could possibly do in this situation.
But severus was totally unaware of that, not having his coffie this morning.
'All of the other times i wanted something that I couldn't find at knocturn alley,
voldemort had it.' he thought to himself as he strolled happily down the tar road that lead
elsewhere. 'My happy bunnie plush, my hello kitty bifocals, my elmo and friends first edition
watch! Man that guy has it all... but not once did I not have to give him something in return.'
"Well well severus... We havn't seen you in awile. Back for toys again?" Voldemort cackled.
"They're not toys... their COLLECTABLES!" Professor Snape pouted.
Voldermort staired down at snape's deep black shoes that said plainly: Furbies Rule.
"boy do we need to have a long talk..." voldemort whispered as he staired at the neon orange of
the letters.
"Severus, want some coffie?" Asked lucius malfoy as he handed him a christmass mug.
"Got any Harry Potter stickers voldie?"
Suddenly, Professor snape realized that he just asked an evil overlord for stickers portraying
his worst enimy. it'd be crucio at LEAST!
"Ava-" "Wait!" Severus interupted, holding up a $100 gift card to Pet Warehouse.
Voldermort snatched the card from the startled professor and hid it under his cloak...
eyes wide with happiness, mumbling something about a new parrot.
"Well well well severus, you sure know how to bargain...
you might try your luck for those stickers at the nearest muggle wal-mart.
But be careful... U-scans are viciuous creatures that don't distinguish between who they hunt,
and someone in their way.
"That sounds awfully familiar... is that from somewhere?"
"I think I read it in a book once." Voldemort sang as he turned a corner to leave.
"Wait for me! lucius screamed, running after him. "Name the parrot Yu-Gi-Oh!"