A Kiss on the hand
::Authors notes:: This is my first Moulin Rouge fanfiction so please don't flame it too much.
This is Part one. It is told through Christian's eyes.::
---
PLEASE READ BEFORE CONTINING!!!
This story is about what would have happened if Christian did NOT come back to Moulin Rouge
before "Spectacular Spectacular!" In other words, an alternate ending.::
---
PART I - How wonderful life, was
One look and she was mine. My world fell apart after I lost her. If only I was there when she
died. My head throbbed with pain as I listened to her sing from outside the club. Her voice
sent shivers down my spine. And it sent my heart into a flutter. The applause I heard beat
through the doors, were deafening as I felt the rain stream down my forehead. As always she gave
a magical performance, as I let my jealousy run mad. She was sick and I knew it but, the thought
of her dying so young, so soon was more then I could bear. I refused to think about it. Why
Satine? Why the beautiful Sparkling Diamond of Moulin Rouge? Why her?
---
"Christian! CHRISTIAN! Hurry inside quickly!"
I looked up from my cigarette to Zidler calling out to me. My breath quickened as I felt my
heart leap into my throat. His make up was running onto the pavement because of the rain. His
lip quivered as his hands shook. 'Oh god. What has happened?' I asked myself as I ran to him
slipping and falling on the way. As if I were in a movie, the world seemed to slow down as the
sounds of the streets were blocked out. All I could hear was my breath and the rain tapping me
on the shoulder as if to say get up. I grabbed onto Zidler's jacket and lifted myself up
looking at the tears falling from his eyes. Some other girls came up behind him crying
hysterically. I looked around in fear of what I already knew had happened. My heart shattered
inside my chest.
"Satine? Where is she? What happened?!"
I ran past the audience still on their feet walking out the door. Their faces in shock, some in
horror. But most of them were crying. Tears of sorrow, and echo's of sadness ran through every
vein in my body as the duke held Satine's lifeless body in his arms. Not even a tear caressed
his cheek, but they saturated hers. He gave me a wry grin and a swift chuckle. My eyes became
blurred as the tears welled up in my eyes. My blood turned cold. Colder then ice. I lowered
my head and balled up my fists until my knuckles began turning white. Her eyes were open and
lifeless. My heart and soul suddenly became empty and confused.
"Your jealousy did this you know." He said to me while moving her body around in his arms.
"No! YOU DID THIS!"
I screamed to him. I could feel every portion of my body beginning to crumble as I looked into
her eyes. My heart ached in pain as my knees began to shake. I loved her with every beat of my
heart. I dreamed of her day and night. I fantasized about our passionate lovemaking. As I see
her now, I can only see the memories we shared. The night she first saw me and mistook me for
the duke. The way she tried covering up my reason for being in her dressing room. And I could
never forget the time I confessed my love to her. It was my fault she was dead. If I never
would have shown up to her dressing room and she covered me by a fake song and dance of a play
never written, she may still be alive today. Or would she? I knew he was right. He didn't
kill Satine. Nor did I. Her sickness mixed in with her confused emotions gave in and claimed
her life.
The duke turned his back to me and began to walk off the stage with her. I started to run
toward the stage but got nowhere as the mighty arms of Zidler held me back. I screamed in
anguish, pain, and hate. I screamed her name over and over again as the tears fell upon the
ground like rain from the sky. My voice soon gave and so did my body. A whisper of a scream
was all that could be heard. A whisper softer then the wind blows. I fell unto the ground
clutching onto the only thing left of hers. A memory locked into a nook behind my eye. Her
eyes, her scent, her voice, her everything flooded to my head as everything began to get dark.
"Satine! oh god Satine!"
I whispered out her name in between the tears and breaths of air I was desperately trying to
grasp.
"How wonderful life is, now you're in the world."
I sobbed those few words as I watched the others walk off the stage crying, and holding each
other. I should be holding her right now. Apologizing for my stupid behavior. Telling her
that my heart beats only for her. My poems and songs were only for her. That I was born to
find her and love her. And my tears were shed, only for her.
No words were exchanged between them and I as they walked passed me. What was there to say
really? Blame me for her death? They could have blamed me until I died and that would never
change the fact that Satine was dead. And they all knew it. They were upset only because they
lost the heart and soul of Moulin Rouge. They all knew the fate ahead.
Once the audience was vacant, Zidler reached down to help me up. The scream I let out could be
heard for miles around Paris. I gained enough voice back to let out one final scream. The
hurt, the secret cries for help beamed through my vocal cords and out of my mouth. Why I
screamed. Why. I could barely catch a breath in between the screams. I could hear the bones in
my hand breaking as I slammed them onto the ground. The pain was a release for me. I could
only think about the pain for a short while, while my attention was focused away
from Satine. Until I realized why I was causing the pain. Zidler stepped back pulling his arms
into his chest as he watched my madness unfold in front of him.
"Come now Christian. Let's have a rest." Zidler picked me up off the ground being careful to
avoid my broken hand once I had lost every inch of fight left in me and had collapsed. He
carried me bodily to Satine and I's bedroom.
"I will get revenge for her Zidler. I swear to it." I said to Zidler.
"Zidler, Christian is but a boy with a broken heart. He is a poet so he of course is a
sensitive man. Without Satine, who will he become?" Toulouse asked Zidler as I was being
carried up the stairs. That was the last thing I could remember happening as I slipped away
into a dream state far away from reality.
---
"Christian! Where are you Christian?" I heard Satine calling out to me from a dark corner.
"There you are!" I saw her smile at me and give a sigh of relief. She looked as beautiful as
ever. That long red dress that fit her so perfectly and her hair let down in soft red curls.
Her eyes alone were too seductive for me to control myself. I took her within my embrace and
hugged her, running my fingers up and down her soft, pale back. I could feel her tears falling
onto my cheek. I cupped her face into my hands and kissed her softly on her lips, while whipping
the tears from her cheek.
I woke with her or should I say my tears drenching my cheeks. It took me a minute to remember
that Satine was dead and that I was left alone in what used to be the bedroom we shared in
secrecy. I laughed at all the jokes and silly songs we wrote together. A sharp pain shot up
through my hand as I moved it from under the sheet. I nodded remembering my angry fit. I
batted my eyes a few times as I let myself gaze around the room. I spotted Toulouse fixing
himself another drink. He drank himself sick. Even when a tragedy happens, he finds remorse in
the drink.
"You are going to drink yourself to death you know." I said while sitting up.
"Oh Christian. You are awake." I looked over at Toulouse and gave him wry smile and a sorrow
filled sigh. He heard what I said and knew I was right. But he was an alcoholic. There is
nothing I could do.
"Yes I am awake. Awake in a world that no longer seems beautiful or worth living in anymore." I
rubbed my hand along the bandages.
"I feel like my hand. Trapped in pain inside a white bandage." I bowed my head as I let the
tears fall down my cheeks.
"But pain eventually heals. As will your hand. I too am feeling the grief of losing Satine.
You mustn't put yourself into a depression like this. You will end up making yourself sick. We all
are feeling the loss. Accept for the Duke. Do you want to know where her body rests so you may
say your farewell?"
I looked up at Toulouse and nodded. I rose out of bed and began putting my shoes on, listening
to him wring out a wet cloth as he sighed. I knew where she would be but I wanted to hear it be
put into words.
"I am afraid it wont be that easy to see her. Her body lies within the Dukes arms. He has
placed her in his bed. Only Zidler and I have seen her."
A look of shock sprawled across my face as the shoelace I held in my hand snapped from the
pressure I was pulling it at. He left her body there in his bed? No sheets? No blankets? I
was expecting something else like she was still on stage or something but not this. It was even
worse then I pictured it.
"What do you mean in his bed? He doesn't have the decency in him to put her in a church or
somewhere sacred? My god is he going to let her rot there?"
I don't know what it is was Toulouse yelled out to me as I ran out the door knocking things and
people over that stood in my way. All I could think about was the anger and hatred I was
feeling. How could someone let a dead woman lie in their bed? I remember her face. Blood
seeping from her lips that were once red, but are now pale. Her eyes wide open lifeless. And
the single tear, the last tear I will ever see fall from her eye was caught in the dukes hand. All
the while he stood there smiling, musing over her death, over musing over the pain he knew it
was causing me. He loved her also. Only loved her for her body and talent. I twinged
remembering the sight. Even in death she was beautiful.
I reached the dukes door as he was leaving it. I quickly jumped behind a pillar desperately
trying to avoid being seen. I strained to hear the words he was saying to the other man that
was with him.
"Find Christian. I want him dead." I heard the other man agree and walk away. I peered my
head around the pillar to watch the duke put out a cigarette onto the floor and smile as he
walked away. Oh how I wanted to just slap that smile off his face. The door began to shut as
I made a run for it. It slammed shut behind me as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. It
reminded me of just a few days before when I saw her standing at his balcony with his hands
touching her. His hand upon her hand. I was afraid to turn around and look at her. I could
feel her lying on the bed. Breathless, lifeless. 'Face her Christian. She is dead.' I
thought to myself. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I let my body slowly turn around
facing the bed.
There she was. Her beautiful body sprawled across the bed. No blankets no nothing. I walked
slowly over to the bed listening to the sound of my feet hitting the ground. Suddenly the world
went silent. I could only hear my breath seeping from between my lips as it increased with
every inch I grew closer to her. I shuddered with sadness, feeling it in every bone and crevice
of my entire body. I had dreamed of a life filled with Satine, children, a home, but nothing
would ever fill the black void slowly making its way across my heart. I reached the bed and
turned my head in shock as I began to cry. The son of bitch didn't even clean her off or close
her eyes.
"Oh god Satine. I cant bare to see you this way. Why wasn't I there? Why did I let my
jealousy take over me?" I put my head onto her stomach and let the sorrow overcome me.
"Because you love her."
I turned around to see Toulouse standing at the door with the wet cloth in his hands. I looked
back at Satine and wept some more. I watched as my tears fell onto her dress.
"Here ya are. Shall I do it?"
I grabbed the cloth from Toulouse's hand violently shaking my head. I rubbed the line of dried
blood around her lip and watched as it flaked off her. I closed my eyes and crossed her hands
upon her chest. Her face once full of glitter and life was now drained to colorless, and
hopeless shades. No words could escape my mouth at that moment. I let my eyes roam over her
body. I caught the rip in her stockings and the rip in her dress.
"He..Raped her. Didn't he?"
Toulouse lowered his head and nodded.
"Yes. We could hear her screaming right before the show started."
"AND YOU DIDN'T STOP HIM! WHY? WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE! DOES MONEY MEAN MORE TO YOU
THEN YOUR OWN FRIEND!?" I screamed to him. I was angry for the wrong they caused by not
stopping him when they could have.
"He is only One man! There are hundreds of you and you let him hurt her. Why?"
"The Moulin Rouge is all we have."
A look of shock sprawled along on my face.
"I see. So by Satine dying, you are all safe at home then." I quickly rubbed my hand along her
cheek and said my farewell.
"I love you Satine. Until my dying day." I looked over to Toulouse who stood there with his
head lowered and a look of guilt on his face.
"You tell the duke that I will be expecting him on stage tomorrow evening."
I walked out of the room with sheer hate running through my veins. Toulouse realized what he
and the others had done. She may have had the chance to survive if they would have just helped
her. Tomorrow would be my night for revenge. I knew in my heart that no matter if I lived or
died after this, I must keep her memory alive inside of me.
::Authors notes:: This is my first Moulin Rouge fanfiction so please don't flame it too much.
This is Part one. It is told through Christian's eyes.::
---
PLEASE READ BEFORE CONTINING!!!
This story is about what would have happened if Christian did NOT come back to Moulin Rouge
before "Spectacular Spectacular!" In other words, an alternate ending.::
---
PART I - How wonderful life, was
One look and she was mine. My world fell apart after I lost her. If only I was there when she
died. My head throbbed with pain as I listened to her sing from outside the club. Her voice
sent shivers down my spine. And it sent my heart into a flutter. The applause I heard beat
through the doors, were deafening as I felt the rain stream down my forehead. As always she gave
a magical performance, as I let my jealousy run mad. She was sick and I knew it but, the thought
of her dying so young, so soon was more then I could bear. I refused to think about it. Why
Satine? Why the beautiful Sparkling Diamond of Moulin Rouge? Why her?
---
"Christian! CHRISTIAN! Hurry inside quickly!"
I looked up from my cigarette to Zidler calling out to me. My breath quickened as I felt my
heart leap into my throat. His make up was running onto the pavement because of the rain. His
lip quivered as his hands shook. 'Oh god. What has happened?' I asked myself as I ran to him
slipping and falling on the way. As if I were in a movie, the world seemed to slow down as the
sounds of the streets were blocked out. All I could hear was my breath and the rain tapping me
on the shoulder as if to say get up. I grabbed onto Zidler's jacket and lifted myself up
looking at the tears falling from his eyes. Some other girls came up behind him crying
hysterically. I looked around in fear of what I already knew had happened. My heart shattered
inside my chest.
"Satine? Where is she? What happened?!"
I ran past the audience still on their feet walking out the door. Their faces in shock, some in
horror. But most of them were crying. Tears of sorrow, and echo's of sadness ran through every
vein in my body as the duke held Satine's lifeless body in his arms. Not even a tear caressed
his cheek, but they saturated hers. He gave me a wry grin and a swift chuckle. My eyes became
blurred as the tears welled up in my eyes. My blood turned cold. Colder then ice. I lowered
my head and balled up my fists until my knuckles began turning white. Her eyes were open and
lifeless. My heart and soul suddenly became empty and confused.
"Your jealousy did this you know." He said to me while moving her body around in his arms.
"No! YOU DID THIS!"
I screamed to him. I could feel every portion of my body beginning to crumble as I looked into
her eyes. My heart ached in pain as my knees began to shake. I loved her with every beat of my
heart. I dreamed of her day and night. I fantasized about our passionate lovemaking. As I see
her now, I can only see the memories we shared. The night she first saw me and mistook me for
the duke. The way she tried covering up my reason for being in her dressing room. And I could
never forget the time I confessed my love to her. It was my fault she was dead. If I never
would have shown up to her dressing room and she covered me by a fake song and dance of a play
never written, she may still be alive today. Or would she? I knew he was right. He didn't
kill Satine. Nor did I. Her sickness mixed in with her confused emotions gave in and claimed
her life.
The duke turned his back to me and began to walk off the stage with her. I started to run
toward the stage but got nowhere as the mighty arms of Zidler held me back. I screamed in
anguish, pain, and hate. I screamed her name over and over again as the tears fell upon the
ground like rain from the sky. My voice soon gave and so did my body. A whisper of a scream
was all that could be heard. A whisper softer then the wind blows. I fell unto the ground
clutching onto the only thing left of hers. A memory locked into a nook behind my eye. Her
eyes, her scent, her voice, her everything flooded to my head as everything began to get dark.
"Satine! oh god Satine!"
I whispered out her name in between the tears and breaths of air I was desperately trying to
grasp.
"How wonderful life is, now you're in the world."
I sobbed those few words as I watched the others walk off the stage crying, and holding each
other. I should be holding her right now. Apologizing for my stupid behavior. Telling her
that my heart beats only for her. My poems and songs were only for her. That I was born to
find her and love her. And my tears were shed, only for her.
No words were exchanged between them and I as they walked passed me. What was there to say
really? Blame me for her death? They could have blamed me until I died and that would never
change the fact that Satine was dead. And they all knew it. They were upset only because they
lost the heart and soul of Moulin Rouge. They all knew the fate ahead.
Once the audience was vacant, Zidler reached down to help me up. The scream I let out could be
heard for miles around Paris. I gained enough voice back to let out one final scream. The
hurt, the secret cries for help beamed through my vocal cords and out of my mouth. Why I
screamed. Why. I could barely catch a breath in between the screams. I could hear the bones in
my hand breaking as I slammed them onto the ground. The pain was a release for me. I could
only think about the pain for a short while, while my attention was focused away
from Satine. Until I realized why I was causing the pain. Zidler stepped back pulling his arms
into his chest as he watched my madness unfold in front of him.
"Come now Christian. Let's have a rest." Zidler picked me up off the ground being careful to
avoid my broken hand once I had lost every inch of fight left in me and had collapsed. He
carried me bodily to Satine and I's bedroom.
"I will get revenge for her Zidler. I swear to it." I said to Zidler.
"Zidler, Christian is but a boy with a broken heart. He is a poet so he of course is a
sensitive man. Without Satine, who will he become?" Toulouse asked Zidler as I was being
carried up the stairs. That was the last thing I could remember happening as I slipped away
into a dream state far away from reality.
---
"Christian! Where are you Christian?" I heard Satine calling out to me from a dark corner.
"There you are!" I saw her smile at me and give a sigh of relief. She looked as beautiful as
ever. That long red dress that fit her so perfectly and her hair let down in soft red curls.
Her eyes alone were too seductive for me to control myself. I took her within my embrace and
hugged her, running my fingers up and down her soft, pale back. I could feel her tears falling
onto my cheek. I cupped her face into my hands and kissed her softly on her lips, while whipping
the tears from her cheek.
I woke with her or should I say my tears drenching my cheeks. It took me a minute to remember
that Satine was dead and that I was left alone in what used to be the bedroom we shared in
secrecy. I laughed at all the jokes and silly songs we wrote together. A sharp pain shot up
through my hand as I moved it from under the sheet. I nodded remembering my angry fit. I
batted my eyes a few times as I let myself gaze around the room. I spotted Toulouse fixing
himself another drink. He drank himself sick. Even when a tragedy happens, he finds remorse in
the drink.
"You are going to drink yourself to death you know." I said while sitting up.
"Oh Christian. You are awake." I looked over at Toulouse and gave him wry smile and a sorrow
filled sigh. He heard what I said and knew I was right. But he was an alcoholic. There is
nothing I could do.
"Yes I am awake. Awake in a world that no longer seems beautiful or worth living in anymore." I
rubbed my hand along the bandages.
"I feel like my hand. Trapped in pain inside a white bandage." I bowed my head as I let the
tears fall down my cheeks.
"But pain eventually heals. As will your hand. I too am feeling the grief of losing Satine.
You mustn't put yourself into a depression like this. You will end up making yourself sick. We all
are feeling the loss. Accept for the Duke. Do you want to know where her body rests so you may
say your farewell?"
I looked up at Toulouse and nodded. I rose out of bed and began putting my shoes on, listening
to him wring out a wet cloth as he sighed. I knew where she would be but I wanted to hear it be
put into words.
"I am afraid it wont be that easy to see her. Her body lies within the Dukes arms. He has
placed her in his bed. Only Zidler and I have seen her."
A look of shock sprawled across my face as the shoelace I held in my hand snapped from the
pressure I was pulling it at. He left her body there in his bed? No sheets? No blankets? I
was expecting something else like she was still on stage or something but not this. It was even
worse then I pictured it.
"What do you mean in his bed? He doesn't have the decency in him to put her in a church or
somewhere sacred? My god is he going to let her rot there?"
I don't know what it is was Toulouse yelled out to me as I ran out the door knocking things and
people over that stood in my way. All I could think about was the anger and hatred I was
feeling. How could someone let a dead woman lie in their bed? I remember her face. Blood
seeping from her lips that were once red, but are now pale. Her eyes wide open lifeless. And
the single tear, the last tear I will ever see fall from her eye was caught in the dukes hand. All
the while he stood there smiling, musing over her death, over musing over the pain he knew it
was causing me. He loved her also. Only loved her for her body and talent. I twinged
remembering the sight. Even in death she was beautiful.
I reached the dukes door as he was leaving it. I quickly jumped behind a pillar desperately
trying to avoid being seen. I strained to hear the words he was saying to the other man that
was with him.
"Find Christian. I want him dead." I heard the other man agree and walk away. I peered my
head around the pillar to watch the duke put out a cigarette onto the floor and smile as he
walked away. Oh how I wanted to just slap that smile off his face. The door began to shut as
I made a run for it. It slammed shut behind me as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. It
reminded me of just a few days before when I saw her standing at his balcony with his hands
touching her. His hand upon her hand. I was afraid to turn around and look at her. I could
feel her lying on the bed. Breathless, lifeless. 'Face her Christian. She is dead.' I
thought to myself. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I let my body slowly turn around
facing the bed.
There she was. Her beautiful body sprawled across the bed. No blankets no nothing. I walked
slowly over to the bed listening to the sound of my feet hitting the ground. Suddenly the world
went silent. I could only hear my breath seeping from between my lips as it increased with
every inch I grew closer to her. I shuddered with sadness, feeling it in every bone and crevice
of my entire body. I had dreamed of a life filled with Satine, children, a home, but nothing
would ever fill the black void slowly making its way across my heart. I reached the bed and
turned my head in shock as I began to cry. The son of bitch didn't even clean her off or close
her eyes.
"Oh god Satine. I cant bare to see you this way. Why wasn't I there? Why did I let my
jealousy take over me?" I put my head onto her stomach and let the sorrow overcome me.
"Because you love her."
I turned around to see Toulouse standing at the door with the wet cloth in his hands. I looked
back at Satine and wept some more. I watched as my tears fell onto her dress.
"Here ya are. Shall I do it?"
I grabbed the cloth from Toulouse's hand violently shaking my head. I rubbed the line of dried
blood around her lip and watched as it flaked off her. I closed my eyes and crossed her hands
upon her chest. Her face once full of glitter and life was now drained to colorless, and
hopeless shades. No words could escape my mouth at that moment. I let my eyes roam over her
body. I caught the rip in her stockings and the rip in her dress.
"He..Raped her. Didn't he?"
Toulouse lowered his head and nodded.
"Yes. We could hear her screaming right before the show started."
"AND YOU DIDN'T STOP HIM! WHY? WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE! DOES MONEY MEAN MORE TO YOU
THEN YOUR OWN FRIEND!?" I screamed to him. I was angry for the wrong they caused by not
stopping him when they could have.
"He is only One man! There are hundreds of you and you let him hurt her. Why?"
"The Moulin Rouge is all we have."
A look of shock sprawled along on my face.
"I see. So by Satine dying, you are all safe at home then." I quickly rubbed my hand along her
cheek and said my farewell.
"I love you Satine. Until my dying day." I looked over to Toulouse who stood there with his
head lowered and a look of guilt on his face.
"You tell the duke that I will be expecting him on stage tomorrow evening."
I walked out of the room with sheer hate running through my veins. Toulouse realized what he
and the others had done. She may have had the chance to survive if they would have just helped
her. Tomorrow would be my night for revenge. I knew in my heart that no matter if I lived or
died after this, I must keep her memory alive inside of me.