Title: No Sir


Author: Kim, The Manipulative Little Monster


Rating: R for language


Archive: Sure, anywhere you want it just let me know where it is.


Feedback: The author is a feedback whore!


Summary: A challenge given to me by Norma the Unicorn Lady. It's all her fault.


Disclaimer: I don't own Labyrinth or Sarah or Jareth. I do own the idea of the fighter pilot though. Uh, don't sue me or I might have to kick your ass.


A/N: This story has won the 2002 Green Awards for Most Original Story and Best Villian. For more info about them please see geocities.com/green_awards

Chapter One


"Williams, pay attention, God damn it! You've been in the SIM for over six hours. What are you planing on doing? Waiting for the ozone just to open to let you in? Do you want to get your ass thrown back to BT?"

Lieutenant Commander Sarah M Williams bristled at the comments that blasted through her ear piece. She took a deep breath and forced her cramped hands to unclench and relax against the flight controls. A few slow blinks of weary eyes, she forced herself to focus on the assortment of red blinking lights on and above her console. This was getting insane. One would almost think that she had never done this before.

Two fingers trailed over her furrowed brow as she shifted one hand over the keyboard, hoping the increase in speed would compensate for the downshift of anti-gravity. It didn't work. Again she heard that grating voice in her ear. "Damn it, Williams, what the fuck are you trying to do? Get your team killed? Why aren't you scrubbing those Abs?"

Ah, yes, those damned un-named abnormals that she never had clearance enough to know what they were. After all, here in this little unnamed corner of NASA, she was only the pilot on a top secret mission. No, nothing important there. And then, then she paid for that small momentary lapse in judgement. Suddenly the red warnings became one constant beacon of crimson, and she felt the simulator lurch into that spiraling crash pattern.


"Damn it, God damn it!" A disgusted sigh was issued as she pulled the headset out of her ear and threw it disgruntled against the consul console that now only showed the rolling pattern of red fire. Two fingers were pressed to the bridge of her nose as she heard the swosh of the sliding door and felt the chilled real air that breezed into the hot, enclosed compartment that was the Simulator for the Atlas X-695.

Atlas X-695, the prototype for the new plane that was a joint venture between the US Air force and NASA. Only a certain number of pilots were accepted to be involved, and Sarah had just managed to scrape by to get into it. After all, even if she was a good pilot, she was still only a woman and she wasn't able to even fly in combat yet. And then you add to the fact that she had never even seen it, only flown the SIM, well then, that made it seem as if this thing wasn't even real, even though she had been assured over and over that it was.

"William, what the fuck just happened? I'll tell you what happened, you just managed to kill the whole crew and crash a three billion dollar air craft. Can you handle your shit or not?"

Sarah swallowed before standing up and speaking. "Permission to speak freely, sir." Well, she should have it, after all he was speaking very freely to her.

He stared at her sweaty forehead, the hair that was matted to her skull, and the shake of fatigue that was shivering through the strong muscles in her arms that were hidden under the crumpled blue of her jumpsuit. "You look like hell, Williams. What ya do, break one of them pretty nails?"

Her nails weren't, in fact, pretty, but she knew better then to comment on sexist remarks of the CO. She liked being in the program to too much to mouth off and get kicked out. She knew that General Parr delighted in showing that women didn't belong in the program. He stared at her intently, looking for some sign of her breaking down, flowing into emotion but he didn't see any.

After all, you can't beat the goblin king if all your emotions showed on your face, and our Sarah was a big girl. Almost too big for her breeches.

"Well, then Well then, Williams, go ahead and whine if you feel like whining."

"Excuse me, Sir, but I spent six hours and twenty minutes in the SIM today, and I have noticed that the Abs all move in a counterclockwise motion while the C-fires only move in a clockwise motion. Shouldn't the A-98s fix that?"

For a moment, he just glared at her, his cold, beady blue eyes almost seemed to be rimmed with a state of pearly white shock. He almost seemed to sputter before he spoke. "And do you think a porcupine's quills should go into it's back too?"

"No, Sir, I just think that it would be easier to fly if the weapons system went the right way."

"Flying? Is that what you call the mess of six hours you spent in the SIM? Cause see, I call it bumbling along like an idiot until you crashed and killed everyone and thus destroyed the world..."

She couldn't hold her tongue a minute longer. "Excuse me?! Well, Sir, maybe if you were coaching me as you should be instead of sitting there bitching about having a chick pull the good marks in your program I would be flying better in the SIM!"

And then she knew she had gone too far. She stood there, her chest heaving and her face crimson as she watched him swallow hard and stare right back at her. And then, as if he was seeing her for the first time, he almost leered at her. Then finally a slow, almost-dawning expression was perched upon his port-colored face.

You could almost see the cruelness of the idea cast itself across his face. " Well then, Williams. You know what your problem is? You talk to much. Now get back to scrubbing. You're in the SIM until you destroy 5 level six Ab Migs. Have some fun."

And while Sarah stared at him, her mouth open, he stormed out of the portal and slammed it shut behind him. She swallowed slowly, feeling the familiar lurch of the SIM as it started to go to launch mode. "Oh my god," she whispered. "He cannot keep me locked in here."

But then his voice broke across the dim heat inside the little cockpit. "Oh yeah, baby doll, I can. And unless you believe in magic coming and saving your ass, I'd advice you to sit that pretty ass down in your chair and put the restraints on."

Longing to unleash some of the lower tones of her vocabulary, she slid into the sweat-slicked seat and pulled the black seatbelt over her body before sticking the piece inside her ear and fixing the mic over her cheek. Pulling her mind from auto-anger mode, she started to speak. "Lt. Commander Williams, Sarah code 24601-ACF requesting code launch 365A2174. Launch to commence in twenty, nineteen..."

And then the voice of Hecter, the assistant in command who sounded just as tired as Sarah herself did. "Copy that, Williams. Proceed with launch 365A22174 on my mark, in five, four, three two, one. Mark."

And with that, the slow burn of the thrusters started and Sarah was pulled into the clouds and then beyond almost amongst the stars. And there, in a flash of yellow and green lights mixed with black buttons, she felt at home. Almost as if she was a bird. A snow white owl cast against a ebony sky.

___________________________________________________________________________

The snow white owl flew against the starlit Alaskan sky, the chilled winter air sweeping through his soft flight feathers. The light of the full moon was reflected in the deep snow below, making the whole world seem as if it was carved from the filings of a crystal. The deep reflective eyes of the owl almost seemed to be half-closed in thought as he flittered through the sky.

And then, almost as if it feared being late, the owl turned towards the moon and flew almost directly into it. Moving closer and closer until it was a speck and nothing more.

The doorbell rang at exactly eight o'clock and the man stood standing stood there, looking as immaculate as ever in his black leather jacket and ironed designer jeans. He graced the older woman who opened the door with that oh-so- arrogant smile which sent the lady into a slow fit of delicious shivers. " Well hello, Alex. It's so wonderful to see you again. I'm glad Lee could convince you to watch Lucas on such short notice."

The man who was, at this moment, called Alex spoke softly, in that unobtrusive English manner, his gloved hands working inside one another. "It's no problem at all, Mrs. Buchanon. After all, Lee does need to speak to Lucas's daddy when he's in town. Has Lucas seen him yet?"

The distaste on Rosa Buchanon's face spoke volumes as she let him inside the house. "Well, Alex, you know how keen I am on family, but at this point, I firmly believe that man should be kept forever out of the boy's life. You know I ain't the type of woman to be a busy = body, but I gotta call things like I see them, and that man is a no-good, arrogant pig. He'll be gone again when the sun comes up, you mark my words. And then the boy will be left as hurt as he always his, bless his little heart."

"Yes, I know how you feel, but this time he won't be left alone. He'll have me. I'll always look after the little tyke, and Lee too, if she'd let me." And with that the tow head fell forward, those cold blue eyes cast down as he thought about her. Or at least that's what Rosa thought.

"Yeah, I know, love. Come on in and have a cup of coffee. I've even got a batch of the peach cobbler you liked so much and said reminded you of home."

Reminded him of home? It sure did. Just the sound of the word brought back pictures of lovely peach trees cast so neatly in a row. Inwardly he would have groaned, that is if he didn't have a mission to take care of first. This was one of those business-before-pleasure trips, but Jareth was certain if he tried hard enough, he could mingle the two. After all, Lee wasn't hopelessly ugly. It wasn't her fault she had screwed the wrong man and now had the object that Jareth had been looking for over twenty years.

But then again, the child of the brother of the girl who had denied him was something worth waiting for. An heir and leverage all rolled up in the body of a four-year-old little boy. And all the pieces were falling right into place...