Chapter I: On a rough start
I woke up this morning with a headache. I haven't felt like this for like years. But still, I could remember the last time I had a big one, the one that hunt you every day, all night long like. But anyway, I was happy. Summer's not over yet and it's still time to be with the others. Well, not everyone, most of them in fact, but especially with her. Instructors came back the other night from Camp Star and we let them take their jobs back. We're a bit sad, but mostly happy. We have more time to hang around with our friends. And to go out with our more than a friend ones.
I remember that last night, I was with Dana. She decided to join us. She left her dad and the camp for us… Well, for me. At least, it's what I think. I'm so happy to have her beside me, even thought I don't know how to speak correctly. Actually, it's quite funny for the others but not for me. My brothers always make fun of me. Jason's the less teasing one. In fact, he's working to get his birdhouse right now. He found wood, I don't know where, and he's building it. It's quite frightening… He's out all day, except the night, when he comes back to sleep, and for fire camps. The kids help him too. It's like a little factory. Shane hasn't change. He teases me every day, even when Dana is here. Sometimes, when she sees this, Mitchie stick up for me. It's quite funny to see Shane being like… Like tamed! When we were children, he would've never been tamed… He would always do what he wants to do. But now, she changed him. He's sweeter. Well, that's one thing I can tease him for. Even if he runs faster than me…
-Nate? Are you up?
My eyes shot open. I realized suddenly that I wasn't in my cabin but in Dana's. I can't even remember a single thing. Luckily, no one was around. I slipped on my clothes quite quick. I was used to do everything quick because of concerts. We're always in a rush.
-Nate? Are you okay in there?
-Yeah, yeah…
I tried to sound normal but my voice was a bit shaky. I finally get dressed, all clean, clear and nothing strange, breathe in, breathe out and… Here we go. Just act normal.
-Nate…?
-Come in!
The door opened slowly, cracking a bit. A regular, yet strong shadow appeared.
-Man, what are you doing here? We were looking for you all morning!
Shane sat down on the bed, the sheets were a mess. I forgot it. He looked around suspiciously, and put a bowl down on the table.
-I brought you your cereals… You missed a big thing, Mitchie's mom had…
He stopped, looking me intensely. I tensed up, looking away from his hard, yet brotherly, gaze. Sometimes, he can be very frightening.
-Wait a minute…
He got up quickly, putting a hand on my cheek. I turned around, reaching for my breakfast, turning a bit redder but I tried to hide it by watching the clock on the table. Unfortunately, my brother, who is strong-headed, sat next to me, gripping my head tightly, and holding my waist firmly.
-What's on your neck? You're hiding something?
-What?
I looked at the bowl in my hands. I could almost see my entire reflection. Then it hit me. My neck. I glanced at him nervously, trying to ease the thing. He chuckled, a bit amused, letting me go.
-Aw… Isn't that sweet? My little brother has a love bite on his neck!
-Can't you just stop shouting that? Keep it low!
-If you wish… Love bite, love bite, love bite…
I punched him on the shoulder, and he can't help but faked a fall on the ground, holding his arm. I finished drinking my breakfast, staring at the clock. It was around 10am. He put an arm around me playfully, watching me. I could swear he's smiling right now.
-I wonder who did this to you…
He chuckled, head down, almost too sweet. I sighed. Now I'm freaking out.
-Come on, don't be so stressed. It's just a love bite.
-What would they say? What would everyone say? I can't even wear a pullover, we're in summer…
-Come on, they won't laugh. Look carefully, everyone has love bites.
-Really?
-Everyone.
He nodded, quite serious. He looked at me, a bit of fun in his eyes, and spoke lower, like if someone was listening to us…
-And, just between us… I have one…
I glanced back, a bit surprised. Since when does he have love bites?
-Right here…
-Stop, I trust you!
He was starting to take his shirt off. Really, there is something wrong with him… But after all, he is my brother. What should I do?
-Well, I have a long day ahead… I'd better get going… But…
He stands, pushing me up by the arm.
-If you need anything, you know you can come. I'll be with Mitchie; we planned on going around the lake. Maybe canoeing, swimming or walking… And also, before I forget it, Dana's near the canoe station. You should go and talk to hear… Don't forget to use words too… Brotherly advice!
He went out, singing happily, waving back at me, as I stood under the small porch. Maybe I should…
-Have a good day!
I walked back at my cabin silently, hiding from others. I went behind bushes, by the counselors cabins, by the kitchen… What a way to hide… Shane couldn't do better… Once I was inside, I tried to hide that mark the best I could, with some skin products… I was lucky enough to find some good ones in Jason's drawer… It was hard but I was quite proud of myself. It was well hidden.
-Nate? What are you doing here? Shane was looking for you that morning…
I jumped a bit, frightened. He always shows up when we expect him last…
-Why does everyone have to do that? They've all drunk coffee this morning? Yes, I've seen Shane, and right now, I'm leaving.
He watched me leaving silently, a bit confused.
-I just wanted to know if I could borrow your…
I didn't let him finish, I was out before he could say so. I ran to the lake. I didn't know where I was running exactly, because I went by the small forest. I was running for sure but to somewhere my feet have chosen. After some full minutes, I stopped, panting, sweating like never before. I was crazy. Frankly, I do. That's when I realized that I was on a hill. It was beautiful, there were tons of trees but only on one side and we could see everything. I saw Shane and Mitchie canoeing, him kissing her. I laughed a bit, I confessed. I saw Jason near Uncle Brown's cabin with the kids. I saw everything. Even Camp Star, on the other side of the lake. Their spotlights were always on for some reason. I took a step forward, it wasn't a hill. In fact, it was like a side of a small mountain. There were rocks. Big boulders. Sharp ones, shining ones. I sit there for long minutes. The sun warms my back, the wind blows, and it isn't too hot. Just warm.
-Come on…
I watched two shadows coming down. Again, I was lucky enough to be on the upside, and not seen. These shadows slide on rocks, becoming bigger, hiding the sun when suddenly, two people appeared. One has its head on the shoulder of the other, which kisses its forehead. I couldn't believe my eyes.
-What if they know…?
-They won't… Come on…
I can tell. It's Dana. And that Michael Jackson guy from Camp Star. He's kissing her and she… She's kissing back… They seem happy… Full of life… I ran away, tears in my eyes. My feet slipped on a rock and I cut my hand. I don't even care. Branches are slamming my face. I don't care. She's kissing him… I run back as fast as I can, out of breath, out of life, out of love. I walked the stairs to my room, looking the floor, rather pathetic. I feel everyone's looks on my back. I don't care. I wiped away my tears, sighing quite loud.
-Nate, are you okay?
They talk to me, like if they care. I slammed the door behind me, without saying a single word to the crew. They don't have to know. I fall on my bed, crawling to the side, holding sheets. I'm crying. The best that ever happened to me was in someone else's arms. How could she do that? I wasn't cheating on her, nor mean… So why? She broke me… She ate my heart, and now, she's finding another one… No, she would never do that… But what I saw there…
-Nate?
-Go away!
-Nate, are you okay?
-Get the fuck off!
Right now, I'm alone. No one dares to disturb me. It's better I think, to be alone with myself. I don't need someone else… But still, I feel so lost and insecure… There are no other words. I'm broken. I totally messed up. If I wasn't on that hill and that… What am I saying? That still would've happened. I'm broken… Broken, broken, broken, broken…
-Dana…
I'm crying like never before, soaking my bed, soaking my clothes. I'm well broken.