Distracted by the instrumental music softly playing through her headphones, the normally alert sorceress failed to notice she had company on the roof until a green hand brushed against her cheek as it pulled one of the buds from her ear and placed it in his own. Raven jumped slightly, surprised that anyone else was up at this early – or late – hour, seeing as she hadn't gone to sleep. She glared at Beast Boy, who was laughing at the fear in her eyes as he sat down next to her near the roof's edge.
"Did I make ya jump, Rae?" he smiled, his pointed canine mocking her. In reply, she lightly shoved him instead of correcting his mispronunciation of her first name… again; no matter how many times she'd reminded him her name was Raven, not Rae, he continued to use her unwanted nickname. Why waste perfectly good oxygen on something that would never change? To accompany the glare she gave him, the half-demoness reclaimed her ear bud from his own ear, wiping it on her cloak before returning it to its rightful place.
"Awww," he moaned, "I was enjoying that song!"
If Raven had heard his pitiful whining, she didn't show it; she was too engrossed in the music. Beast Boy could hear the bass clearly enough but he was preoccupied by the girl behind the headphones who'd suddenly become more solemn-looking. If he hadn't have lived with her and picked up on her habits, Beast Boy would have missed the subtle change in his teammate's violet eyes. Before he could ask what was bothering her, she filled the silence with her ethereal voice.
"Why did you say yes?"
Beast Boy was surprised by her question, uttered so quietly that he wasn't sure if he'd imagined it. But when he looked up at Raven, her headphones were abandoned in her lap and she was gazing at him, waiting for a satisfying answer.
"Uhhhh, I've said yes to lots of things Rae. You're gonna have to be more specific."
She went quiet again for a moment. "Why did you say yes to joining the team?"
The more specific question set his mind in motion, sending him back to that autumn morning five years earlier – a memory so vivid that it could have happened yesterday. He was standing on the island which now housed their home and headquarters: Titans Tower, which then supported the crashed Gordanian vessel that they'd destroyed while saving Starfire from a miserable existence of slavery. He was surrounded by his friends, staring at each of them in turn when Robin had handed them each their yellow communicators. That moment was one filled with mixed emotions: pride, enthusiasm, anxiety, relief.
"Why do you wanna know?" he asked, confused as to why she'd enquire about it after all these years.
"The song just got me thinking, I guess," she sighed, turning her attention from Beast Boy to the horizon in front of her. "Imagine what we'd be doing now if we'd never met… or if we'd said no."
"I don't wanna think about it. My life would suck," he shuddered, not from the cold but from the thought of living another day struggling to find a purpose. He'd just resigned from active duty with the Doom Patrol, sick of being treated like a child during training sessions and not being given equal opportunities during their numerous battles. He'd taken matters into his own hands, dealing with petty criminals in the back alleys of Jump City. While he enjoyed the freedom of following the beat of his own drum, he missed the satisfaction of making a real difference to others and receiving recognition for his service to society – even if he'd had little impact during battles.
Raven nodded, "Mine too."
Far from religious, Raven had thanked the universe numerous times over the years for giving her friends… her second chance. Without them, she would have probably ended up returning to Azarath, locked away in isolation from the innocent citizens she was destined to destroy with her father's demonic powers.
"Why did you say yes?" he asked in return.
"Because I had no one else to turn to." She was happy to keep her explanation short and sweet, but the look on his face – a mixture of worry and intrigue – showed that he needed to hear more than that. The emotions radiating from his being were making her feel nauseous.
"Stop worrying," she moaned.
"Never."
Sighing, she explained about her horrific life on Azarath, about how she had been isolated from her family and friends because she couldn't control her emotions and powers; about how her heritage was feared by the entire dimension; about how myths and legends of her prophecy escalated through her home city and she became infamous; about Azar – her only ally – dying; about her fleeing her home when it came under attack by people wanting her dead.
Beast Boy wished he could absorb her pain into his own body. Her eyes were truly windows to her soul, the violet orbs glazing over as tears threatened to fall at the thought of being alone.
"You know we'd never abandon you, right?" he said, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, his arm around her shoulders. When she didn't look convinced, he continued with steely determination, "I mean it Raven. You're our friend and that's never gonna change. Hell, you destroyed the world and we're still here!"
The last thing Raven wanted was to be reminded of that day - not that it was ever forgotten. She'd let everyone down but especially them by refusing to reveal her inner most secrets from the very beginning. In the first week of being an official Titan, Raven spent most of her time in her room, waiting for Robin to smash down her door and arrest her for being half-demon. Thankfully, he didn't have the resources or understanding of demonology to suspect anything. Until her birthday when everything was revealed. Her friends had continued to fight in her honour in a dystopia filled with destruction and debris. Robin had never given up hope that she was alive and travelled into the depths of hell to find her; her fellow Azarathians would have wanted nothing more than for her soul to suffer for the rest of eternity surrounded by the fiery flames he'd saved her from.
They both turned towards the rooftop door after hearing it bang open. Surprised to see them sat there, Robin walked through the threshold, back from his night patrol of the city.
"Is everything alright? I didn't expect you two to be awake," he asked, coming to Raven's left side and taking a deep breath of fresh sea air – an effective way to reawaken his senses after patrolling the streets for a few hours. Beast Boy and Raven nodded, the latter gesturing their leader to sit down next to her, which he did.
"What are you talking about?" he asked, directing his question at Beast Boy who still had his arm around the cloaked shoulders of the girl on his immediate right. He noticed the dark circles under her eyes. She hadn't been sleeping… again.
"Why we said yes to being Titans," Beast Boy explained nonchalantly, "And what would have happened if we hadn't."
That would explain Raven's look, Robin thought, taking in her hunched shoulders and need for comfort. While she was the most powerful of all his team, she was also the most self-doubting and the first to second guess her potential to be one of the heroes in a world destined to be destroyed by her hands and fall at her feet.
"Well?" Robin invited them to share their thoughts, although he had already predicted what they would reply. He was right, and their answer was exactly the same as his own.
"We didn't want to be alone."
Raven's words fell on heavy ears as silence overcame the trio. The only sounds were those of the world they chose to protect: the waves crashing on the shoreline of the island, the breeze whistling its greeting to the moon.
"That day I asked you all to join me in this adventure was the scariest day of my life, even more threatening than telling my former partner that I was going solo. I was… afraid… that you'd all say no to my offer."
The two turned to their leader, amazed that he was opening up to them.
"I'd always been the sheep, following in my parents' footsteps, then my crime-fighting partner's. I wanted to be the shepherd for a change and prove that I was capable of taking down criminals on my own. Little did I know that one of my first real fights would be against a vexed alien race! All my training didn't prepare me for that," he smirked, smiling at his teammates. "Although, I ended up recruiting you guys, so I guess I still haven't actually gone solo. Maybe I'm not meant to…"
"Dude, you're a pretty awesome leader; a pain in the ass occasionally and a total drill sergeant during training, but still a good leader. Surely that's a step up. We're your sheep now, shep!" Beast Boy exclaimed in a way that only he could.
Robin was blown away by Beast Boy's insight into his leadership abilities – a quality he'd questioned about himself many times as a member of the Teen Titans. Looking at the quietest member of the team, who no longer had a green arm draped around her, he saw confirmation in her eyes that she agreed also.
"I'd hardly call you two sheep," he smiled. Raven was strong-willed and determined during battles and self-assured of her strengths and weaknesses. She always did what she deemed to be correct, with failures and successes, as opposed to being ordered around. She followed Robin because she respected him. As for Beast Boy, he was stubborn in his own ways too, normally moaning about his duties before following his orders. He wouldn't change them for the world.
"I'm going to get in a quick nap before breakfast," Robin stated, standing up beside the pair. "I suggest you do the same – especially you, Raven; I know you haven't slept." The tired demoness glared back, supressing the yawn threatening to rise from her throat. He bid them goodnight and left the rooftop.
Beast Boy stood up next, stretching his stiff muscles from being sat in the same awkward position for so long. He offered a hand to Raven, helping her up. She thanked him, walking with him to the door their leader had walked through moments before and down the staircase to the floor where their bedrooms awaited them. Arriving at her door first, Raven wished him goodnight. As she walked through the threshold, he grabbed her wrist, stopping her in her tracks.
"I meant it Rae, what I said out there; you'll never be alone again."
He smiled sheepishly, delicately releasing her wrist and leaving her in the hallway.
"Neither will you," she whispered, closing her door behind her.