The Milkovich Inner Circle
Summary: Mickey had a dream that his family accepted Ian as one of their own, but it was too goddamn good to be true. Ian/Mickey gay slash; Most of the fic is a dream, so it is random, vague and open for interpretation.
Disclaimer: I don't own Shameless.
This is based on a dream I had last night. I blame the "Being Mandy and Mickey Milkovich" behind-the-scenes feature that was recently released for putting these thoughts into my head.
I tried my best to make this fic seem like an actual dream, but actual dreams rarely make sense. This was my attempt to write something a little different than usual. I tried to keep Mickey in character, but keep in mind that Mickey's actions and feelings in this fic aren't necessarily how he really feels. They represent his concerns, frustrations, or wishes, like they would in a real dream.
Mickey didn't remember all of his dream last night, but as he lay half-awake in bed, the remaining sensations brought a small smile to his face. He struggled to recall bits and pieces of it before it faded away from his mind completely.
He distinctly remembered Ian being in his dream.
Both Mickey and Ian had been sitting in the living room of the Milkovich house watching TV. They were sitting so close, and they could have been caught together so easily, but for some reason that didn't matter to Mickey at the time. Mickey was relaxed, a lot more relaxed than he should've been when his family was home.
The fear that he constantly felt when he was awake was gone.
Mickey put his arm behind Ian like it was the most natural thing in the world. Ian had his hand on Mickey's knee, but it wasn't sexual. They just sat in blissful silence together.
Until, suddenly, they weren't alone.
Mickey's dad was sitting in an armchair next to them, his eyes fixed on the TV. Mandy was there too, making out with Lip on the other side of the couch. Mickey sat between everyone. He felt confined, suddenly very aware of how crowded the room was.
Mickey looked around, but no one noticed his uneasiness, not even Ian. He waited for his father to yell at Mandy. He just knew, with increasing anxiety, that his father was going to hurt someone. His father always hurt people when they were happy.
It's just what they deserved.
But Terry didn't do anything. Of course he didn't. Mandy and Lip were normal. They weren't gay. Terry didn't care if they were together.
It wasn't fair!
Anger and rebelliousness bubbled up inside of Mickey. He felt like doing something reckless.
Ian grunted in surprise as Mickey leaned over and kissed him right on the lips in front of everyone else.
Mickey didn't care. He was done caring. If his dad wanted to kill him, then so be it. He liked what he liked, and he was tired of pretending to be someone else.
Ian smiled into the kiss and pulled him closer. Their lips smacked against each other heatedly, and they sucked in each other's breath. For an instant, Mickey felt truly happy. He wanted to hold onto Ian and never let go.
But Terry's face crumpled into a frown, and it caused a flash of fear to surge through Mickey. He was instantaneously filled with regret.
He shouldn't have kissed Ian.
"Keep it down," Terry grumbled. "I'm tryin' to watch the goddamn TV!"
Mickey was amazed. His dad hadn't said a word about him and Ian together. He hadn't been affected by it in the slightest. It was as if they had as much freedom as Lip and Mandy.
Mickey felt some kind of joy that he didn't recognize.
The setting of the dream changed.
All of the Milkoviches decided to go for a "beer run" to celebrate. They let Ian tag along without a word of complaint.
As one of the family, Mickey already knew that "beer run" was a euphemism. They were going to go rob a store. Mickey grabbed some guns in preparation.
"Whoa, what are you doing?" Ian asked, raising his eyebrows at Mickey when he spotted the gun in his hands.
"We always bring guns," Mickey said. "That's what 'beer run' means."
"It's not a good idea this time," Ian replied.
"Why the fuck not?" Mickey asked, confused.
Ian shook his head. "Just trust me," he whispered.
So without knowing why, Mickey didn't bring the gun. There was an unexplainable part of him that wanted to listen to Ian.
And it was a good thing that he did.
During the heist, a whole group of police rushed into the store. Some of them broke down the front door, and others were lowered in from the ceiling on rope. They were everywhere.
"Everyone holding a gun is sentenced to prison for life!" one of the policemen declared. They slapped handcuffs onto Mickey's dad and his brothers. Even cousin Timmy was taken away. But Ian and Mickey were pardoned. They were safe, because they didn't have weapons.
Mickey was glad that he had Ian there to warn him. His other family members hadn't been so lucky.
His head snapped up at the thought, and he frantically looked around. Where was Mandy? She and Lip hadn't been at the heist. They had disappeared somewhere, and Mickey hadn't even noticed until now.
Mickey never seemed to notice those things.
"Mickey?" Ian asked, concerned. "Mick, what's wrong?"
"Where's Mandy?" Mickey growled. The dream shifted, and suddenly it felt like Mickey was yelling at him for a completely different reason. "I know that something's happened to her, but no one will tell me!"
"She's fine," Ian said reassuringly. "Your dad's in prison. She's at her aunt's house."
Mickey sighed in relief. With those words, somehow he knew with absolute certainty that she was safe now.
Time passed. Mickey struggled to remember more of the dream…
The next thing that Mickey could remember was knocking on the door of his aunt's house. It was the holiday season, and every unincarcerated Milkovich was there to celebrate. The Milkovich family was big. Mickey had brothers and cousins and people who were both. He had Mandy, a half-sister, and a whole manner of other people.
But he didn't have a mother.
At least Ian was there. Mickey looked around to locate him in the crowd of people.
That was strange. He was nowhere to be found.
Mickey noticed a big group of people in the corner. His aunt and everyone else seemed very interested in whoever was talking. Mickey decided to take a look. He shoved people out of the way rudely, trying to see what everyone else was looking at.
The person who was getting all of the attention was his sister, Mandy. Mickey snorted. His dumb little sister had always been everyone's favorite. He walked within earshot.
"… and this is my boyfriend!" he heard her say happily, pointing to the boy beside her.
She was talking about Ian. The redhead was smiling and holding her hand, waving to everyone.
Mickey felt a wave of possessiveness wash over him. He stomped over and grabbed Ian's arm away from her.
"Go back to your own boyfriend, bitch. He's mine!" he growled. Ian and Mandy both laughed.
"Well, all you had to do was say so," Mandy said.
Mickey realized exactly what he'd just yelled out loud for everyone to hear. He looked around in horror, expecting to see his whole family form a raging, homophobic mob, but no one bothered.
It was the holiday season, a time of happiness. Everyone was busy with other things.
"Come on, guys!" their aunt hollered. "The food is ready!"
All of the Milkoviches somehow managed to fit around a big table covered in food. Stolen Christmas decorations glittered everywhere around them, and a fire crackled in the fireplace.
Ian laughed as Mickey shoveled a huge amount of jello onto his plate.
"What the fuck are you laughing at?" Mickey asked, frowning.
Ian just smiled. "Nothing," he replied.
Without a word, Mickey's lips turned up, and they both sat in silence. One of the things he liked about Ian was that they didn't even need to talk to feel comfortable around each other.
"I'm going to get some more beer," Mickey said as he pushed himself out of his seat. Ian nodded and kept eating.
Mickey walked out of the door. He left all of the Milkoviches behind and stepped out into the bright sunshine.
He brushed his thumb across his lip and sighed. Today was the day. He smoothed down his tuxedo.
Tuxedo? Wait… no. The dream had changed again. It wasn't Christmas anymore. They were at a wedding! Someone's wedding…
Even though Mickey was nervous and he felt the urge to run, he had a distinct feeling that this wedding was somewhere that he actually wanted to be. It was a much nicer event than the one that he'd had with Svetlana.
Whichever couple was getting married was very lucky.
Mickey looked up, shielding his eyes from the sun, and he smiled once he saw Ian walking towards him. Ian looked good in a tuxedo.
The realization crashed down on Mickey suddenly. It was their wedding.
Ian grabbed his hands and held them tight as everyone's eyes were on them. Milkoviches and Gallaghers alike all sat in white folding chairs in the grass.
Everyone looked happy.
Mickey looked away nervously. Ian smiled brightly.
"Do you accept this man as your lawfully wedded husband?"
Mickey's heart pounded.
This was it. There was no turning back.
All Mickey's life, he'd been running. He thought that others would kill him if they ever found out that he fucked guys. But in this dream, the Milkoviches had all accepted Ian into their inner circle. No one had reacted badly. Everyone supported them.
Mickey shook his head. This was bullshit. It wasn't real.
His eyes abruptly snapped open, and he jolted awake. Had his unconscious mind seriously come up with all of that sappy shit?
Mickey sighed and rolled over in his bed. What was he thinking? There was no way that Ian could be a part of his family.
He needed to shove those kind of thoughts away before they got him into trouble.