Title: Torn
Main Characters: Gail Peck, Holly Stewart, Frankie Anderson
Genre: Love/Hurt
Rating: M
Author: Fadedink26
Book Doctor: Banks123
Beta: GoodGollyMe
Description: For Gail Peck, life has finally gotten to where she wanted it. She has a great career and people who she loves and cares for. So when her ex-girlfriend Holly Stewart returns to town, her life is thrown into a tailspin. Seeing Holly again could be the best or the worst possible thing to happen, but how far is Gail willing to go to salvage the greatest love from her past?
Part 1
"Gail… Gail…"
I hear my name being called but it's faint. Like the sound of bamboo drums beating deep in the hills of the Congo; but I'm too tired to move, too tired to think, all I want to do is sleep but there it goes again...
"Gail... Gail, wake up."
This time I'm being shook, slightly but slowly being dragged away from the depths of sleep that had been restless and brief. I had just come off a 12-hour shift and it felt only like seconds since I'd relieved the babysitter and flung myself, still half dressed, under the mass of my duvet.
"Hmphh?!" I said, finally opening my eyes only to see Sophie looking down at me.
"Gail! Are you awake?" She looks a bit frantic and apparently my eyes being open didn't confirm my wakefulness. So I nod my confirmation in a series of zombie like movements. "We're late!" she says being more panicked.
"Late?" I asked.
"I have school!" Sophie groaned.
"Oh right, school..." It was my turn to groan as I dragged my legs off the bed and attempted to sit up.
"If I'm late again, it'll be the third time this week." She explained as she stuffed last night's homework, that I'd only briefly skimmed, from the nightstand into her backpack that was laying on the floor by the bed.
"All right, all right... go shower and I'll make breakfast." I said but Sophie only sighed and gave a small shrug of her shoulders before making her escape to the bathroom. I knew all too well her reasons for sighing; my last three attempts at breakfast had been a complete disaster. I had quickly learned that children required real food, not the chips and coffee that I lived on. This morning, however, I was just going for cereal...how badly could that go, right?
I drag on my sweats and a hoodie and made my way to Sophie's room, taking out underwear, socks and grabbing her uniform from the closet before laying it on her bed. On the chest stood a framed photo of the day Sophie officially came to live with me and I pause to touch it, smiling as the memory of the day flooded me. It had been a long and terrifying process that at times felt endless, but here we were two weeks later in our two bedroom bungalow in what would be considered a family-friendly neighbourhood. There were boxes that still needed to be unpacked but we had finally settled, enrolled Sophie at Hudson College and were looking forward to building a future.
I made my way to the kitchen and grabbed a mug and a cereal bowl from the top cupboard, pausing to make myself some coffee. I was just about to take a sip when I hear the water from the bathroom get turned off and Sophie pops her head round the corner.
"I'm done."
I raise my eyebrows. It had barely been 5 minutes since she had left to go shower.
"I'm clean," she exclaims, sniffing at her armpits, "see!"
"Did you brush your teeth?"
"Yessss." Sophie grumbles, rolling her eyes like I'd asked that question a million times before.
"Okay," I shrug "go put on your uniform, I've left it lying on your bed."
She disappears once more and I take the time to pour her cereal into the bowl and take the container of milk out of the fridge. I grab my coffee once more, relishing in the sensation as it awakens my limbs and I'm quite contented to just lean against the counter and drink it. My phone buzzes and I glance at it, seeing a text message from Frankie. "Can I come over", it reads but I don't respond to her. I'm tired. I have my kid to take to school, and then I'm planning on spending the next few hours asleep until it's time for school pick up.
"Oooh, cereal…" Sophie teases as she re-enters the kitchen and I pour the milk into the bowl "…something that can't be burnt." I laugh, finding it quite humorous although true to fact. She had been a real trooper through my journey to parenthood and hadn't complained even when my learning curve got too steep.
"Eat up kiddo... we can't be late." she nods and puts a spoonful to her mouth and that's when I remember I needed to pack her lunch. I scramble around the kitchen in search of anything, finding an apple, a bag of cheesy chips, some leftover pizza and a bottle of orange juice. Sophie widens her eyes as she watches me debate how to fit the items in her lunchbox.
Holly had a lunchbox...
"Would you prefer lunch money?" Sophie quickly shakes her head. "What if I put it somewhere in your bag so you don't lose it this time?" She frowns and looks down at her feet dismissively. "It's okay...these things happen, Soph." Her frown only deepens. "Tell you what; if you ever change your mind you let me know." She nods at that and goes back to eating her breakfast.
Sophie had lost her lunch money two days in a row, thankfully her class teacher Miss Reid had provided her with lunch (which I later reimbursed). I finish packing her lunchbox and drain the last of my coffee.
"...Ready?" I question hopefully.
Sophie mumbles something incoherent and jumps off her chair, grabbing her backpack and jacket. I watch tenderly as her frame slumps towards the front door ahead of me and I grab her lunchbox, my jacket and keys.
Soon we were making the seven-minute walk to her school. Sophie held my hand as we walked. She chatted about all the fun she had yesterday with the sitter, who incidentally was our new neighbour Mrs. Campbell.
As we approached the school gates, I stopped and knelt down in front of Sophie. "You know I'm off today, so how about I pick you up after class?" Her eyes widened excitedly at that. "We can go to the park to feed the ducks?"
"That's lame!" Sophie guffaws "Can we go skating instead?" She suggests wistfully.
"Sure." I agreed. I loved skating; I skated a lot growing up and had been on the rink many times as an adult. Skating was now something Sophie and I enjoyed to together and it was wonderful teaching her something I had loved as a child.
We landed at the gates of the elementary with five minutes to spare and I examined Sophie. She was clean, fed and on time for school. In no time I would be a pro at this.
"Lauralee!" Sophie ran to hug her and I turn to see the curly haired caseworker who had made this all possible. I smile, still feeling a little ashamed about the butt slap incident, though we hadn't mentioned it since.
"Hi Sophie. You look very pretty in your uniform."
"Thank you." Sophie did a princess twirl. "Gail ironed it." She announced proudly.
"She did?" the caseworker eyes widened in amusement and I found myself feeling very proud of the feat.
"Yup and we are going skating after school. Isn't that cool!?"
"It's very cool." Lauralee agreed as we chuckled at the pun.
"You should come and skate with us! It will be fun."
"I ..um. I…" she stumbled over the words and looked to me for support. I only smiled.
"Please come! It will be fun."
"Okay." Laurelee caved. "I'll be there."
"Great!"
"Run inside Soph. The bell is about to ring." I said.
"Okie. On the front step?"
"3pm at the front step." I confirmed.
"Can you come earlier? 2:30?" that was when school ended.
"I can, but don't you want time to play with your friends?" I asked but her eyes only widens at me.
"No, I don't need time." Sophie decided. Lauralee and I share a concerned look.
"Okay." I'm hesitant in my agreement. "I'll come for you at 2:30." She smiled at that and I handed her the lunch box. "Have a good day kiddo."
"I'll try." Sophie promised. "Bye Lauralee and remember, skating!" She bounced up the stairs and entered the building just as the bell rang and Principal Connors came walking down the stairs to us.
"Lauralee, Miss Peck." She greeted.
"Good morning, Principal Connors." We said in unison.
"Two times," it was a warning. "Sophie has been late two times this week already Miss Peck. You don't want to make this a habit."
"I understand." I responded tight lipped. Principal Connors had been on my back from Sophie's first day. First it was the uniform not being ironed to her standard, then it was homework not being checked, and the lack of nutrition in her lunch; now, the lateness.
"But she wasn't late today." I smiled proudly only to have her grunt at me.
"Lauralee, I believe we have a meeting?" Principal Connors said dismissing me as she headed back up the stairs.
"Ah yes, coming." Laura looked flustered. "I'll see you later?" she mouthed to me.
I nodded before she hurried up the stairs, as I turned to make the walk back to the house.
I couldn't remember exactly when I had fallen asleep but it was my cell phone on vibrate that had woken me and made me jump to life like I'd received a shock of a thousand bolts. I slowly wiped the dribble from my mouth as I realised what was happening, removing the phone that had somehow stuck to my face.
"Hello?" I answered, fearing the outcome of the unknown local number that had flashed up on my screen. Was it the school? Was Sophie hurt?
"Hi. Gail?" Said a familiar voice and my heart skipped a beat.
My throat constricted, not knowing what to say, I took a ragged breath. I could hear her waiting for me to respond and I felt my palms getting sweaty from the moment I heard those single two words.
"You're in town?" I asked although the caller ID had confirmed as much, but I couldn't be sure if I had just been hopeful at this point.
"I am, Gail." Holly responded "...Can I see you...umm…" There was a pause and I could sense her hesitation "…can we meet for a drink?"
"What are you doing here?" I asked, ignoring the question.
"I have the Jackson case to wrap up. Gail?" She pushed again.
"Hmm?"
"Drinks?"
"I...uhh… I…" It was my turn to hesitate. What was I supposed to say? This was Holly after all. The woman who had made me see the error of my ways and had me jump head first into the sea of vaginas. The woman who I had dreamt about all my life unknowingly; who I had fallen in love with, then had ultimately torn me apart.
"I mean...we don't have to...it's just I'm back in town?" She added with an air of uncertainty. I sat on the edge of my bed now, imagining her there, wherever she was, pushing her glasses up from the tip of her nose awkwardly. Her voice felt strange to me. Like alcohol to an alcoholic who had been sober for 8 months. I knew Holly so well, her habits, the way she thought, the way she smelt and felt and yet, here on the phone with her, I felt like I didn't know her at all. She was a stranger to me now. I hadn't spoken to her since she had left for San Francisco. I couldn't. It had hurt too much.
"Holly." I sighed "What do you want from me?" I wanted to know.
"To see you," she confessed. "I just left and we never talked. "
"Exactly." I said in a hurt tone.
"Gail, please." She pleaded and I felt flustered, unsure whether any decision I made at this point would have been the right one.
I needed time to think. This is all too sudden.
"Holly, I don't know."
"Will you call me?" Now she sounded desperate.
"Yes" I said, making a promise I wasn't sure I would keep but I would say anything at this point to get off the line.
She conceded, "this is the number you can reach me at."
"Okay" I said before disconnecting the call.
I flopped back against the pillows my head spinning and reeling from the conversation. Holly was back in town and wanted to see me, but did I want to see her? And even if I wanted to, should I agree to see her?
My phone buzzed again, this time it was Frankie. "Hello?"
"I'm close by and thought I might come over." Frankie's voice reached through the telephone and slid down my spine like warm maple syrup on a cold winter's day, into every nook and cranny of my traitorous body.
"Come," I replied softly. "I'll be waiting." I needed the distraction anything to get my mind off Holly, and Frankie would provide just that.
I hung up and quickly began moving around the room, straightening magazines and throw pillows, so that the house didn't look too much like a storage unit. Shedding my t-shirt and sweat pants, I slipped into a new black teddy I knew Frankie would love.
If it weren't for her, I probably wouldn't own half as many pieces of fancy lingerie. But Frankie liked the sheer, sexy stuff, and I liked wearing it for her….
"Hi."
Frankie was leaning against the jamb, dark brown hair glistening in the sun light, green eyes sparkling with barely banked desire. I swallowed hard, wishing I knew how to settle the butterflies flitting around in my belly.
"Hi. Come on in," I said, stepping back to allow her entrance.
I closed the door and refastened the security chain, then turned to find her watching me like a hawk might watch a mouse just before swooping down and carrying it away.
She was dressed for work in charcoal gray pants and a white dress shirt with the top three buttons undone revealing her tank top underneath, both of which were slightly wrinkled from a hard day's work. The jacket that matched her pants was folded in one arm.
She looked tired, and as much as I wanted to drag her straight to the bedroom, I thought she might need to relax a bit first.
"Do you want anything?" I asked, tipping my head in the direction of the kitchen at her back. "Something to drink? Something to eat, maybe?"
With the flick of her wrist, Frankie's jacket fell to the floor and she was striding forward, her gaze focused intently on my face.
"Later," she growled in a low voice that sent every cell of my being into erotic overdrive. Her arms wrapped around me and a second later, her mouth hovered above mine. "Right now all I want is you."
As always, Frankie's kiss scorched, setting me afire from head to toe but I couldn't help but compare her to Holly, whose kisses had always been gentler.
I buried my fingers in the hair at the nape of her neck, caressing her scalp. Her lips moved over mine, sucking, biting. Her tongue delved inside to lick and stroke.
My breasts swelled beneath the silk material of my nightie, pressing against the hardening pecks of her breasts. Frankie's hands ran along my spine, over my waist, and finally cupped my buttocks, pulling me into her. I moaned, holding her tighter and hitching a leg up to hook on the jut of her hip.
Tearing her mouth away, Frankie breathed heavily against my cheek. "Bedroom. Now."
"Yes."
Bending slightly, Frankie lifted me into her arms - a feat which still surprised me, and strode with purpose across the living room. She knew the layout of my house as well as I did. Not surprising, since she'd been here almost every night since I'd moved in.
She lived in the city, a mere walk from the precinct—but no matter how late it got, as often as possible she drove the twenty minutes to spend the night with me…in my bed. I lived for those nights. Waited for them, craved them.
From the moment I'd met her there had been something about her. Something that drew me in and drove me crazy but kept me connected to her, no matter how many times I told myself we should call off our blazing red-hot affair. And it could only be called that, because our relationship was as open as a can of beans sitting in an end of the world bunker. The only ones who knew about us were Chris and Chloe (following that awkward morning after). I think they were too scared of Frankie to mention it.
Reaching the edge of the bed, Frankie laid me on the mattress and followed me down, covering my body with her own.
"I love this," she said, fingering the black fabric that barely covered me from chest to thigh. "But it has to go. I want you naked."
"You're the boss," I told her with a small smile.
One side of her mouth quirked up in sensual amusement as her fingers slipped beneath the top's spaghetti straps, sliding them over my shoulders and down my arms. I moved to allow her to uncover my breasts and pull the garment down past my hips and thighs.
Frankie's beautiful green eyes seared through me like laser beams. She openly admired my breasts, my belly, the triangular area between my legs hidden behind a swatch of black lace.
Rising up from the bed, I helped her remove the lingerie completely. She tossed it aside, returning her attention to my bare, curvaceous form.
I wiggled anxiously, wanting to touch her. Wanting her to touch me.
"You're overdressed," I told her, grabbing her collar and giving it a tug. The action brought her several inches closer, until our noses nearly touched.
Frankie's chest rose and fell with her harsh breathing and I took a moment to run my fingers between her breasts before my they moved up to her throat then down her front again. I worked on the remaining buttons of her shirt, slipping them through their holes one by one.
Pushing the soft cotton off her shoulders, she assisted by removing her tank top and bra. We pitched the items in the direction of my discarded negligee and I swallowed, overwhelmed by the perfection of Frankie's toned and lean build. She'd mentioned once that she worked out several times a week in the precinct's gym and was an avid indoor cyclist.
I on the other hand simply enjoyed reaping the benefits.
Next came her belt, unbuckled and pulled through the loops of her pants. When my manicured nails dipped behind the button at her waist, she sucked in a breath, sending her stomach rippling.
"I hope you're enjoying yourself," she said through gritted teeth, "because I fully intend to repay the favor."
With the backs of my fingers brushing over the smooth skin leading downward from her navel, I used the heel of my hand to push the zipper down. Slowly, the individual clicks echoed through the room.
I watched Frankie hold her breath, the sensations I was creating were almost too much to bear. Each click of the zipper teeth separating seemed to reverberate through her bones, her teeth, her warm wet canal.
She'd wanted me all night, her string of explicit text messages during my duty had told me as much. No doubt she had been anticipating the moment when she could tie up work and sneak away to make love to me. The things I was doing to her now didn't help matters, either. She was warm to the touch probably from her blood boiling, I thought she might implode.
We were amazing. Every time we were together, it was like fireworks on the First of July. Hot, vibrant, spectacular. I was surprised we hadn't set the house on fire.
But that's where it ended, because as explosive as we were in the bedroom, we weren't in a relationship. Frankie may have wanted to make love to me as often as her schedule and physical endurance would allow, but she wasn't hoping at the chance to sit on the sofa with me and watch a movie or pick at day-old Chinese takeout.
And I was okay with that.
I was. I am…but I had loved doing that with Holly. Watching old black and white films on a Friday night while eating popcorn.
The zipper reached its end and I dipped my entire hand into Frankie's pants, into her underwear to dip a finger in her. Her diaphragm seized, and her nostrils flared as she fought to pull air into her lungs. I stroked her, teased her until she wanted to scream.
"Enough." She demanded before she lost it to my one finger instead of something we could both enjoy. She grabbed my wrist and extracted my hand from her pants. In a few jerky moves, she kicked off her boots, socks, pants and underwear.
Once Frankie was naked, she climbed onto the bed, pushing me to my back as she straddled my thighs. Bracing her weight on her arms, she leaned forward and took my mouth the way she'd done many times before.
I responded as I always did—passionately, and hungry for more. My arms wrapped around her neck and she sank down on top of me and I luxuriated in the feel of her soft breasts pillowed against my own.
Shifting beneath Frankie, I somehow maneuvered so that her legs were no longer bracketing me. Instead, mine were now locked at the small of her back. She could feel my heels digging into her buttocks the same as my nails were digging into her shoulders. She liked when I did that; maybe too much. Although, with me, it wasn't a case of too much, but never enough.
She tugged at my bottom lip with her teeth, breaking our earth-shattering kiss and blazed a hot, damp trail down my body. Frankie skimmed the slope of my throat, the rise of one breast, stopping to explore the tight bud of my nipple. She circled the areola with her tongue, then closed her mouth over the tip and began to suckle.
I writhed beneath her, making those sexy little mewling sounds in my throat that I knew drove her wild.
Her text messages had given me some insight to the things she wanted do to me once she was here… things I would do to her. But now that she was here with me, both of us naked and mindless and desperate, I didn't think she would have the patience for any of them.
Frankie lifted her head, gazed down at me, chest heaving, blood rushing through her veins like a forest fire.
"I can't wait," she grated shifting us to make us more accessible to each other. "I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you, I promise."
And then her fingers were thrusting inside me, buried to the hilt, I barely had time to react. My gasps mingled as sensations washed over me, the friction almost too much to bear.
"Frankie," I panted, my fingers raking across her back, sure to leave marks. "Wait. I thought we were going to use it. I bought it like you asked."
For a second, my words didn't seem to make sense. She looked lost but felt amazing, two fingers kind of amazing and my body warm and tight around her. Then suddenly what I was trying to tell her sank in.
"You got it?"
I nodded, anxious but excited.
Frankie pulled out immediately, shaking her head in disbelief. "I can't believe you got it."
I smiled gently, wiggling out from under, then turned over and shimmied across the comforter toward the nightstand. "We don't have to. It's just that you seemed to want it last night…."
Frankie didn't reply instead her eyes remained glued to my bare back, bottom and legs while I opened the bottom drawer of the bedside table, rooting around for the sex toy and lubricant.
I came back, crawling the few feet to the end of the bed, the toy held up for Frankie to see. "Got it," I said, my grin widening triumphantly.
"You sure did." She smirked. "So a double delight strap on. Interesting …" she watched as I applied the lubricant and I attempted to put it on.
I brought out the wilder side in her, no question. She'd confessed she hadn't been very adventurous in the bedroom until me. With any other woman, she had been comfortable with her two and three moves she'd perfected over the years and never strayed too far from them. But with me, she could do anything and know I was right there with her. My passions matched her own, and I was daring enough to try anything once.
"Two seconds," Frankie rasped, clenching her fists to keep from grabbing me.
My brows drew together in confusion.
"That's how long you've got before I lose my patience and take over."
"Uh-oh. I guess I'd better make the most of the time I have left."
Rather than backing off, I drifted closer until we were thigh to thigh, chest to chest. I placed an open mouthed kiss on her chin, nipping lightly with my teeth as her lips slid away.
"One," I murmured.
My fingers slipped between her parted legs and I caressed her softly, sending pleasure skyrocketing through every cell and nerve ending of her body.
"Two."
Before I could count to three or do anything else that threatened to send Frankie over the edge, she grasped my wrists, lifted them above my head and leaned forward, toppling us both to the mattress. We bounced slightly, laughing as we did so.
Still grinning, Frankie's mouth came down on mine, at the same time running her palms down my body, over my arms, breasts, waist, hips. When she reached my thighs, she positioned herself above me hovering just above her feminine warmth.
With a single forward thrust, she sank onto the other end of the toy and turned it on and waited for the ripple effect of the nearly knee buckling sensations to begin. Frankie's heart pounded hard in her chest against my palm threatening to break through her rib cage. Beneath her, I squirmed and moaned, raking my nails across her thigh and tilting my hips in an effort to drive and extend our pleasure.
Easing up from the bed, I brace on my hands and she began to move. At first her strokes were long and slow, as she took her time to enjoy the clasping heat and subtle vibrations. But after only a minute or two, I knew we wouldn't last and was happy when she began to increase her pace.
"Yes. Frankie, yes."
My voice was soft, mewling in her ear, sending flames licking through her bloodstream, heading straight for her groin.
"Gail." she breathed my name like a prayer, nipping at the tender spot between my neck and shoulder.
I cried out, my back arching as the waves of orgasm moved over us and before I knew it, stars burst behind my closed eyelids and I gave a guttural groan as everything inside us exploded.
Sometime Later…
"I should go."
Frankie's chest rumbled with the softly spoken words, jostling me awake just as I'd begun to drift off. I lay snuggled in her arms, my head on her shoulder, one arm draped across her stomach.
Stifling a sigh, I pulled away from her and sat up, keeping the sheet clutched above my breasts. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear as I watched her sit up on the edge of the bed, then move around the room retrieving her clothes.
This was the part of our time together that I liked the least—when Frankie had to leave and it was always the same. A visit in the dead of night, then she left before morning came, or like today leaving before I had to collect Sophie from school.
I was yet to introduce Sophie to Frankie. Not because I didn't think they wouldn't get along but it was hard explaining my relationship with Frankie. With Holly it had been easier; there hadn't been the need for explanations or definitions. It was just understood and accepted by all who knew us that we were together.
Dressed now, Frankie stood at the end of the bed with her hands in her pockets. Scooting out from under the covers, I grabbed my silk robe from a hook on the back of the closet door and shrugged it on, looping the belt loosely at my waist.
"I'll walk you out."
Frankie gave an almost imperceptible nod and we moved together through the living room area to the front door. I released the locks and turned the knob, but before I could open the door, Frankie stopped me with a hand on my wrist. When I lifted my head to meet her gaze, her eyes were smoldering.
Leaning in, she slid a hand to cradle my neck and kissed me until my bare toes curled. A full minute later, she pulled away and I clutched at the door to keep from melting into the hardwood at our feet.
"If things were different," she murmured softly, rubbing my bottom lip with the pad of her thumb, "I'd drag you back to bed and keep you there for a week."
"If things were different," I whispered in return, "I'd let you." but I didn't fully understand her or what I was agreeing to.
If what was different? If I didn't have Sofie? If she didn't have the emotional capacity of a screw driver?
One corner of Frankie's mouth lifted in a subtle grin and her arm dropped to her side as she stepped through the doorway, onto the front porch.
"I'll call you."
I nodded, then stood at the front door as I always did to watch Frankie walk away. Her actions similar to those of the day Holly left when I had stood watching as Holly walked out of the locker room.