HI MINNAH!
I'm back! With a three-shot!
This little fic is dedicated to MythandFairyTailLover13! Thanks for being awesome!
Disclaimer: The reason I dabble in fanfiction is because I've got no mages of my own...*sniff sniff* Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima!
Right. A warning first, alright? if you haven't noticed, this is labeled Angst and Friendship. The friendship bit will appear later, so this chapter is mostly angst. You have been warned.
So, enjoy!
These days she's been crying a lot.
Of course, she never lets them out in public. They would laugh at her if she did.
She waits, with a throbbing pain in her chest, until she gets home, until she is in the safety of her locked room, before letting her tears fall.
~o~
They hate her at school.
She's not sure why, she just knows they do. You don't need a reason to hate after all.
She's the rich girl without a mother, the lonely girl who's father is too busy to care.
They laugh, they kick, they point, but no one talks to her.
They taunt, though.
Their fingers pointed laughingly at her back, they do everything to make her school life hell.
It's just not fair.
What did I ever do to you?
Her table is at the back of the classroom, where she sits, alone and out of sight. The teachers have tried to talk to her before, but eventually, they stop trying.
Sometimes, when her classmates feel like it, they draw on her locker and take away her table and chair.
Then, she stands throughout the day, because no one is willing to lend her another set.
She takes it all in silently.
She's the last person to be picked in gym, the lone person who completes the group project works alone.
Anyone who associates with her is promptly ignored as well.
After school, she stands alone in the hallway as people run past, calling her names, and occasionally hitting her with a punch or two.
Gajeel is being strangely bold today, she noted, as the pierced male lands a fist on her face.
She stands back up, training her eyes on the ground.
They punch her again, him and his lackeys, guffawing happily.
Even then, she doesn't cry, even though she can feel the tears prickling the corners of her eyes.
She never lays a finger on them, even though she's pretty sure she can hit them back better than they ever could to her.
But she doesn't.
She doesn't want to make them hate her even more.
After all, she's pretty sure she can take the malice, the punches, the taunts.
Her silence is her shield.
But even the Shield of Aegis will crack.
Eventually.
~o~
She realises that she doesn't smile anymore.
Her face is permanently pulled into a blank stare.
She scares herself a little sometimes.
Because behind her hazel orbs, she can see nothing.
Even though she tried to capture the essences of emotions in them, they fade eventually, day after day.
She's growing vain, she realises.
Before she leaves for school everyday, she stands for ten minutes in front of the mirror, trying to see the rustle of emotions behind her eyes.
There's nothing there anymore.
She isn't supposed to be like this, but she feels that she's loosing control over herself preternaturally.
She tries to stop herself, but her grip is slackening.
She can't.
"My name is Lucy Heartfilia." she whispered, as if reminding herself.
Nothing registers on her face.
No.
"I am 16."
The mask doesn't crack, so she pulls a face.
She can't.
Her face doesn't respond, her cheeks stays in place.
She tries to smile, and she can.
But it looks too fake, too plastic, too brittle.
It's not her smile.
Perhaps it can fool the world, but she can't fool her heart.
It's not a smile.
~o~
She never talks at school.
No one talks to her, so she doesn't try.
Even when they taunt her, tease her, she simply looks through them like they weren't there.
Her days are spent in silence, and once, she has even gone through a week without talking.
If she doesn't try hard enough, sometimes she can't remember her voice.
"Hello." she tries, looking at her reflection.
Her voice is dead. Empty.
Her lips form the familiar syllables, but it feels strange.
"Hello." she tries again, attempting to bring back the bubbly cheeriness in her voice.
Maybe a smile would work.
So she smiles, and makes her voice a pitch higher. "Hi!"
It doesn't work anymore.
She looks like a puppet being controlled with invisible strings.
She is no longer herself.
~o~
It's a little pathetic how she tries.
Everyday by the mirror.
She mocks her efforts.
She wishes she can just leave herself alone–vanish and cease to exist.
But she can't.
She hates herself, and she knows it.
She curls into her duvet, and closes her eyes. Let the silence envelope her.
Take me away, take me away.
Sometimes, she can even fool herself.
But when she dares to open her eyes, she back.
The duvet is damp against her trembling body, the clock ticking, and she knows she will never be able to leave her life behind.
Though it can't hurt to dream, can it?
~o~
The knife glints invitingly in the dark, and she reaches for it.
The blood shimmers when she's done. She figures that it doesn't matter, since she's already hurting anyway.
One more cut wouldn't do much harm.
But the number of cuts on her arm is far from one.
Because one she starts, she can't stop.
It makes her feel alive.
The pain is her only link to reality.
She feels herself slipping away slowly, but the agony anchors her to the real world.
The blood drips onto the slick tiles, mingling with her tears.
~o~
She's being crying a lot lately.
Wooh! So that's the first chapter done. I apologise for the terrible grammar. I am, unfortunately, still beta-less. Don't hesitate to PM if you spot any mistakes, and I'll change it ASAP, alright?
To MythandFairyTailLover13, I hope you enjoyed this!
Reviews=Love, so review lots, and tell me how it was.
After all, that will motivate me...haha.
Can't say when the next chapter will be up though...
Oh well. Seeya next time!