Esme

Saturday, January 3rd

5:00 AM

My eyes opened slowly in the gray light of pre-dawn. I wrinkled my nose at the chilliness in the air and snuggled deeper into my blankets. At my side, my boyfriend, Carlisle's breath remained even and quiet, and I cuddled deeper into his embrace, warm and safe despite my dreams and the cold air.

I turned my face slightly, so I could study his profile. His hair was soft in the morning light, golden and straight, crumpled just slightly beneath his sleeping face. He looked younger while he slept, his brows unfurrowed and his mouth relaxed. I wanted to trace his beloved cheekbones and kiss his eyelids, which covered his golden eyes, but I knew that if I did, he would wake up, and he got little enough sleep as it was.

When I glanced back at his eyes, they were open and staring at me, filled with amusement. For most people, my friends certainly, would be embarrassed by their lovers catching them watching them sleep, but it didn't bother me. I knew Carlisle better than anyone, and he knew me, I couldn't imagine keeping anything from him.

Liar, you're keeping the biggest thing from him.

To distract myself from my troubling thoughts I threw the covers over my head and crawled down Carlisle's naked body until I reached his quickly growing erection. I took him down to my throat immedietly, longing to lose myself in his body and the things he did to mine, but his hand stroked my forehead and stilled my motion.

"There's no rush, baby," he soothed and I pulled back with a gasp. I was usually a gentle lover, content to take my time and crest the slow wave, but this morning I wanted to lose myself. I wanted Carlisle buried so deeply inside me that everything Esme was drowned in Carlisle-Esme.

But this is also for him. And I would give him anything I had to offer. Except the truth. I shook off the nasty internal voice and nibbled over Carlisle's length, losing myself in the slow build within myself, fueled by his low moans and gentle guidance.

Slowly I sat up and settled my hips over his, unable to prevent my own moans as he filled me. His eyes met mine as I stroked my hands over nipples and his fingers closed around my hips. I through my head back in abandon as he slowly began to move, rocking into my clit with every thrust.

I came quickly from his slow movements, and he came soon after as my vaginal muscles milked him for all he was worth. I fell exhausted to his chest and his pale arms came to wrap around me as he pressed his soft lips to my hair.

I smiled sleepily and settled deeper in his arms, I focused on my breaths, deepening them so I could fall back asleep before the guilt crept back.

His side of the bed was cold when I woke up for the second time that morning. I sighed and sat up, holding the sheet up over my bare chest. The morning light was warmer now, came into the room from a higher angle.

My stomach growled, reminding me that I hadn't eaten in twelve hours. I slid off the bed and pulled on drawstring shorts and a tank top before peering out of room carefully.

The hall was empty as I padded to the kitchen, quickly pulling out my food and pans.

I hummed as I cooked omelets, the scents of breakfast replacing the old pizza and beer odor that seemed to perpetually fill the small kitchen. I didn't know where Carlisle was, but I hoped he'd be back by the time his omelet was as I didn't trust that the fridge was sanitary.

"Smells good," Carlisle's voice was husky from behind me where he stood leaning against the doorframe.

"You're back!" I grinned and turned around. He smiled back at me, but his eyes were tired. "Studying again?"

He walked over and plucked an olive from the egg mixture with his long surgeons fingers, "Always,"

I smacked his hand with my spatula, "Wait til its on a plate, you barbarian!"

He pulled his arm back and rubbed his hand mulishly as I attempted to slide the omelets onto two plate without tearing the thin layer of egg.

I handed the prettier one to Carlisle with a grin, "here you go, now stop pouting,"

He grinned back, teeth flashing, "I never pout."

We sat down and he began eating immediately. I watched in fascination as his long fingers manipulated the fork. He frowned at me, puzzled by my stare. I tossed him a smile and picked up my own fork.

My stomach lurched at the first bite I took and I sprinted for the bathroom at Carlisles startled shout.

I swung around the bathroom door and lunged for the toilet, trying and failing to slam the door behind me.

I clutched the porcelain rim closed my eyes as I was sick, over and over, heaving until there was nothing left but unable to stop the convulsions. Throughout it all, Carlisle was there, smoothing my hair back from my face and muttering soothing nonsense until I was finished.

I flushed with shaking fingers and rose without glancing at him to wash my hands and face and rinse out my mouth at the sink.

He was watching me, I could feel it. And he was smart and going to be a great doctor. His mind was working and I just needed it to stop. "Food poisoning," I said with a wan grin, "I'm fine, I'll just make a cup of tea."

His eyes bored through mine in the mirror. I silently prayed that he wouldn't push it, wouldn't press the issue.

His mouth opened to shape a question. "Class, I've got to go!" I squeaked, leaving the bathroom.

"Esme!" he called down the hall after me, "It's the Saturday before the semester even starts!"

I pretended I hadn't heard him and fled into the snow.

Renesme

5:55 PM

Esme had been missing for hours now and we were all worrying. Carlisle explained that she had run out on him in the middle of a "discussion" and seemed really upset and concerned. For my part, I believed him as he and Esme were two of the calmest, most rational people I had ever met in my entire life.

Rose had snorted and tossed her glorious blonde mane as if she thought he was making it up, but after a few hours of her being gone, we had split up and started looking for her.

I called her name and peered into my third darkened classroom on the third floor of the science building. Nothing. I cursed and glanced down at my cellphone, no message from any of my friends telling me they found her, and god knew she hadn't returned any of my calls.

I sighed and stabbed the elevator button a bit too enthusiastically, jamming my finger.

I glanced back at my phone as I waited for the lift. It was about to die. Of course.

I sighed again and glared at the closed doors in frustration before taking the stairs.

I honestly couldn't think of anywhere else she could be, or any explanation to why she had been acting so weird these past few weeks, much less why she would pull a stunt like this.

The faint sound of crying brought me out of my reverie and I eyed the doors of the chapel warily. Surely we couldnt have all forgotten to look there.

My feet echoed on the flagstones as the door slammed behind me, the sobbing stopped abruptly. "Esme?" I called softly, hesitating in the doorway until my eyes adjusted to the dim interior. Peace stole over me as I smelled the comforting aroma of beeswax.

Esme lay crumbled in front of the altar, on the hard, cold flagstones. She peered up at me, blinking. She looked like she'd been crying. "Hey," I said, offering her my hand, "wanna head back to the room?"

She nodded and I helped her to stand. Something told me not to ask what was going on quite yet so I shot off a quick text to Carlisle telling me I found her and turned off my phone as we quietly walked back to the dorm.

I made her a cup of tea and we curled up in her bed to watch movies until she fell asleep with her head on my shoulder.