DISCLAIMER: I don't own My Little Pony, and I don't profit from this story. Hasbro owns everything.
"Hey, Apple Bloom," said Applejack as she noticed her little sister and their cousin Babs walking past the barn. "Have you seen Big Macintosh? I could use his help with something."
"Babs and I saw him inside the barn with Braeburn."
"Oh," said Applejack. "Well what were they doing in there? All the fun's out here."
"They was wrestlin' or somethin'," said Babs.
"Wrestling?" said Applejack with her hoof placed under her chin. "I never knew Braeburn was much of a wrestler, not even when we were little fillies."
Applejack walked past Apple Bloom and Babs and made her way to the barn.
"I better go round 'em up," she said.
"Ya can't!" said Apple Bloom, rushing in front of her sister.
"But I need help getting the hay ride ready."
"Get somepony else to do it," said Apple Bloom. "He and Braeburn are havin' fun. Isn't that what we're all here for?"
"Exactly," said Applejack. "And that's why I need his help to get this thing goin'. This is our farm, and I wouldn't feel right askin' somepony else. They're our guests."
"We can help you," said Babs.
"That's awful kind of you, Babs," said Applejack. "But it'll go a lot faster if I just get Big Macintosh to do it. He and Braeburn will have plenty of time for bonding later. Besides, what if they get hurt?"
"Oh come on, Applejack," said Apple Bloom. "They're big ponies. They'll be fine. It's just a little wrestling."
"That may be true," said Applejack. "But Big Macintosh sometimes doesn't know his own strength."
"Well, there was a lotta loud bangin' noises," said Babs.
"Ya see, Apple Bloom," said Applejack. "Now are you sure they're just wrestling? They ain't fightin' or anything, are they?"
"Fightin'?" asked Apple Bloom. "Why would they be?"
"I don't know," said Applejack. "I just don't want this reunion to be ruined by any petty family quarrels."
"Well they definitely weren't fighting," said Apple Bloom.
"Are you sure?" asked Applejack, leaning in towards her sister.
"Yeah. They kept sayin' how much they loved each other."
"While they were wrestling?" ask Applejack.
"Yup," said Babs. "Big Mac was all, 'I love you so much Brae-brae.'"
"…Brae-brae?" said Applejack.
"Yeah," said Apple Bloom. "And Braeburn kept sayin' things like, 'I love you too, Big Mac. You're so big.'"
"Oh my…" said Applejack, avoiding eye contact and blushing. "Well, you two should run along now."
"But we were gonna help you with—" said Apple Bloom.
"Nope," said Applejack. "It's fine. I'll… find somepony else to help me. Now you two go have fun…somewhere else."
"Okay, Applejack," said Apple Bloom as she and Babs went off to enjoy the rest of the festivities.
"And stay away from that barn!" screamed Applejack.
Once the two crusaders were gone, Applejack walked over to the barn as quickly as she could without attracting any attention.
"I need to get my mind out of the gutter," Applejack said to herself. "There's no way they're doing…that. Those little fillies just made it sound strange without knowin' what they were saying."
She gulped and made her way to the barn's backdoor. Nopony had followed her.
"But if they are…doing that. Then…no!" Applejack thought to herself. "There's just no way. It doesn't make a lick of sense." She shook her head and chuckled. "They're just wrestlin'. Why would they be… Nope! It just doesn't make sense." Applejack was pacing back and forth in front of the door. "With all these ponies here, they'd just get caught. And besides, Big Macintosh isn't…like that. And if he were, he would have told me by now… And they're cousins!"
Applejack peeped around each side of the barn to check for anypony wandering too close. It looked safe enough.
"What am I worrying so much for? This is ridiculous."
She walked back to the door, but she couldn't bring herself to open it. Her hoof stuck out straight in front of her. She closed her eyes and looked away, but she still couldn't do it.
"Darn it, Applejack," she said to herself. "You've got yourself all worked up over nothin'."
She gave up trying to open the door and leaned her head against the side of the barn. She immediately heard a steady thumping sound, and she could feel it too. Braeburn's voice suddenly became quite clear from inside the barn.
"Are you sure you…ah…locked the doors?"
"Eeyup," said Big Macintosh.
Applejack pressed her ear even harder against the wall.
"I just…ah…feel bad about Apple Bloom," said Braeburn.
"She doesn't know what she saw," said Big Mac. "She'll be fine."
"I hope so."
Applejack heard Braeburn giggle at something, and she slowly pulled away from the wall. She looked around again and stomped her hoof on the ground in frustration.
"This is just…" she said to herself. "They can't be…"
She heard an especially loud thud and immediately brought her ear back to the side of the barn.
"Braeburn?" said Big Mac.
"Mhm?" Braeburn's voice came out in soft whimpers.
"…I love you."
"Mmm," Braeburn moaned as the thudding got faster.
Applejack's eyes grew wide, and she couldn't figure out if she was terrified or intrigued. An image of her brother pinning Braeburn against the wall and thrusting into him popped into Applejack's head, but she quickly pushed it out. She pulled away from the barn again and walked around in a circle like a watchdog.
"Think about something else. Think about something else," she repeated over and over with her eyes closed. "Apples! Think about apples!"
She pictured a barrel full of delicious apples. She sighed and let her mind focus on this familiar comfort, but she couldn't manage to keep her thoughts from wandering for long. Two of the apples looked black, and she quickly realized she was picturing her brother's testicles nestled in the apple barrel. She nearly screamed when his throbbing erection pushed itself from underneath the apples.
Applejack opened her eyes and shook her head until her hat fell off.
"What has gotten into me?"
She tried thinking about apples one last time, but two big red ones immediately turned into Big Mac's perfectly shaped flank. Applejack gave up and collapsed on the ground. The faint sound of her brother and cousin's 'wrestling' echoed in her ears.
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