Alexandria Safe Zone, Virginia, 2012
The first day of spring. The air is crisp enough to make Jesus shiver as he steps from the corner house. He blows on his hands, squinting into the clean, bright sunshine of a new day.
Last night it was too late to knock anywhere but on Rick's door. Jesus knows most of the other Alexandrians by sight, but the only real bond he has formed is with Rick and Daryl.
They were glad to see him, and Jesus spent a good evening with the Georgia lot. Everyone who is at home at any given time still comes together for most evening meals. After dinner, they'd sat in the living room, swapping Hilltop stories and Alexandria gossip. Jesus passed around Polaroids of Maggie's little boy. Daryl's eyes misted over as he looked down at the pictures, and Rick came to sit by his side. He whispered something in Daryl's ear, and briefly brought their foreheads together in a private moment of grief. Then Michonne placed Judith in Daryl's lap, and soon everyone was laughing at the little girl's amusing utterances. Even Daryl was smiling again, and Jesus's chest filled with fondness for them all.
Over the last few months Alexandria has become the place to settle, partly because the houses are comfortable and spacious, partly because of its position, almost exactly halfway between the Kingdom and Hilltop.
The corner house has always been full, but now all of its five bedrooms have near-permanent occupants: Rick and Daryl share the master bedroom, Carl shares with Judith when she's not sleeping in Michonne's room, Tara and Rosita opting to occupy one large twin room rather than being alone. And the smallest bedroom, where Jesus slept the last few times he came down, is now Enid's permanent residence.
Jesus didn't mind sleeping on the sofa, and he knows nobody else minded coming across him first thing in the morning on the way to the coffee maker. Rick was the first one down, and he and Jesus discussed over their Colombian Roast a matter that has been giving Rick sleepless nights.
So here Jesus is, making his way down the porch steps and across the street. He's soon climbing the stairs to the building diagonally across from the corner house. He stops short, hand already raised to knock on the door, when he notices with a thrill that it is slightly ajar. He looks up and down the sleepy street. There is nobody around.
As he scans the parked cars in front of the house he sees that the boot on Aaron's car is open. He frowns, finally knocks, then slowly pushes the door wider.
"Hello?" he calls into the house. There's no reply. He doesn't feel too guilty when he begins a quick sweep of the downstairs. These days, safety comes before curtesy.
The house is smaller than the Georgians', but it's too big for Aaron by himself. After what has happened, though, nobody wants to crowd him, so he's left alone. Rick doesn't think that's right, and Jesus agrees.
When he returns to the hallway after checking all the rooms Aaron is just clunking down the stairs, carrying two heavy suitcases. He nearly overbalances, and catches himself just in time. The suitcases hit the tiled hallway with a crash.
"Hey…," Jesus says, feeling both awkward and curious, intruding on this scene. "Sorry… I knocked. The door was open."
Aaron is breathing hard. He straightens up, his gaze on Jesus not exactly friendly. "What do you want?" He sounds tired, and not pleased about the visitor.
Jesus hesitates. He has a feeling that Rick's plan won't go down as well as they'd hoped. Instead of replying he points at the luggage. "Want a hand? These look heavy."
Aaron shrugs. Without a word, he picks up one of the suitcases and heads out the door. Jesus takes the other one and follows. He was right; the suitcase seems to weigh about a ton.
They get them both loaded into the trunk of Aaron's car. There are already a couple of bags on the backseat.
Jesus holds back all his questions until he's followed Aaron back into the house. Then he asks, "What are you doing, Aaron?"
The other man stops halfway into the kitchen, shoulders hunched and head down. Then he goes over to the fridge and takes out two beers. He holds one out to Jesus. "Want one?"
"It's nine a.m.," Jesus says.
Aaron's eyes are flat. "That a no?" He shrugs, and opens both bottles anyway.
Jesus stays in the doorway to the kitchen while Aaron drinks off half of the first bottle. He notices the dark shadows under Aaron's eyes, and the stubble covering his face. His clothes look like he's slept in them for several nights.
Aaron catches him looking and lowers the bottle. "What do you want?" he asks again.
Jesus considers. How should he approach this? It's clear that Aaron needs help, but also that he won't just accept it. He decides on part of the truth, for now. "I came over to ask if I could stay in your spare room when I come to Alexandria," he says, matter of fact. "The corner house is full to the rafters, and Alexandria is filling up. It's just too conveniently located."
Aaron looks at him with narrowed eyes, then laughs softly. There's no humor in it. "Clever, really," he murmurs, mostly to himself. He takes another swig of beer.
"What's that?" Jesus prompts.
"Let's send the gay guy to comfort the other gay guy." Aaron's tone is flat. "Maybe they'll hook up, then we don't need to feel so guilty."
Jesus's heart is full of sorrow for the other man. If he were in Aaron's shoes he'd probably react the same way. After a moment he says softly, "Rick suggested it himself."
For a moment there's doubt in Aaron's eyes, and guilt. Then his eyes grow hard. "So, because our dear leader has decided he prefers dick over pussy in his old age, he's now our queer savior of the apocalypse, is he?"
"Aaron," Jesus begins. But Aaron shakes his head and turns away. He leans on the central counter top in the middle of the room and lowers his head. After a moment, his shoulders begin to shake. He's crying. Jesus slowly walks over to him.
"We didn't mean anything by it," Jesus says. He reaches up and places a hand lightly on Aaron's shoulder. "I just needed somewhere to stay, and you got space. If it's not convenient, I'll find someplace else."
Aaron straightens up, but doesn't shake off Jesus's hand. He wipes his eyes. "No, of course you can stay." He shakes his head. "Dunno what's going on with me sometimes." His voice sounds hollow, and terribly tired.
"C'mon, sit down," Jesus suggests, and tugs Aaron towards the table. Aaron comes willingly, and drops into a chair.
"You eaten any breakfast yet?" Jesus asks. Aaron shakes his head and Jesus sighs. "I'll rustle something up, then."
He goes over to the stove. On the way, he collects the beer bottles and empties them in the sink.
"I was still drinking those," Aaron mutters, and puts his head in his hands.
"No, you weren't," Jesus says, and starts pulling plates and a pan from the cupboards.
He makes Aaron eggs and pancakes with maple syrup, and brews them both coffee. They sit silently, while Aaron tucks into his breakfast. Jesus watches him, wondering when he last ate.
When Aaron puts down his knife and fork at last, he looks up. "I'm sorry I was being a dick."
Jesus shrugs. "Never mind. Now, tell me what we were loading into your car."
Aaron stares down at the grease on his plate. His eyes are filling with tears. "His things," he whispers.
For now, Jesus says nothing. Being silent is something he learned from his Sensei, the same way he learned Aikido. Listen, Uedo used to say to him. Listen, and be still. They talk, when they are ready. His grandmaster was a wise man. Sometimes, Jesus wonders what it's like in Japan now.
"I…I don't know what to do with them," Aaron continues eventually. "I should put them in with our supplies. It's a waste, not using them. But I can't stand the thought of…of someone else walking around, wearing his clothes." His voice breaks. "I was gonna dump them in the woods…"
The tears are coming freely now. Jesus gets up and finds tissues in a kitchen drawer. He takes them over to Aaron, then waits, a hand on the other man's arm.
At last all the tears are spent. Jesus clears the table, stashing the dirty dishes by the sink. He soaks the pan, then turns around. "I know what we'll do. C'mon."
Aaron follows him, a puzzled look on his face. They walk across the street but instead of making for the corner house, Jesus walks down the narrow alley between it and its neighbor. He quickly disappears into the back door, and comes back with two shovels. He beckons Aaron to follow.
Not far from Denise's grave he stops. "How's this?"
Aaron glances at the corner house, not twenty yards away. Jesus doesn't blame Aaron for the way he's feeling, even though he's in the wrong. "Eric wouldn't want you to hold a grudge, y'know," he says quietly. Aaron gives him a look, eyes red rimmed and distant. But then he sighs.
"It's a good spot."
They start digging. After a few minutes, the back door of the corner house opens. Daryl appears, carrying another shovel. The three of them make good progress, and the hole is big enough before the sun is cresting.
Jesus straightens up and wipes the sweat off his face. Despite the chill air he's feeling hot. His eyes fall on the corner house again. Rick is standing in the back door, watching. His and Jesus's eyes meet. When Aaron clambers out of the hole and straightens up, Rick disappears into the house.
"Let's get Eric's things," Jesus says to Aaron and Daryl.
As they carry the bags and suitcases from Aaron's car, Carl, Tara and Michonne appear. Michonne is holding Judith. Aaron opens the first suitcase, then climbs back into the hole. Jesus and Daryl take turns, handing Aaron Eric's clothes, books and personal effects. Aaron stacks them carefully, making use of all the space. Towards the end, when the hole is nearly full, the lay Aaron's collection of number plates on top of the last resting place of Eric Raleigh's worldly possessions.
Michonne steps forward and holds Judith out to Aaron. "You've done enough. Let us help."
Tears are running down Aaron's face again, but he takes the little girl. He and Jesus watch as Carl, Tara and Michonne cover the grave with soil. Daryl briefly disappears, then returns with two pieces of flat wood, some string, and paint. Within a few minutes, he has fashioned a cross with Eric's name on it.
With no body to bury, there had been no real release for Aaron for five long months. When Michonne has patted down the last shovel of soil, and Daryl places the cross on top of the mount, Aaron staggers over to the back steps of the corner house. He sits down hard, rocking himself and Judith, mourning his lover all over again.