In case it isn't common knowledge I do not own Mass Effect or any of its products. I personally wish I did, but oh well.

Girl Talk

Ashley Williams had just finished a rather frustrating conversation with one, Commander John Shepard. Well, frustrating for her anyway. She had basically came out and asked if he was interested in her. Apparently this was not the case as he calmly and politely told her that he was her commander and her friend, but nothing more. Rather than give a "let's still be friends" or "it's not you, it's me" cop-out, he'd simply stated: "I've got baggage too Ash". His expression was somber as he left and Ash cursed herself for making him feel that way.

'Damn it, Williams,' she thought to herself, cleaning her assault rifle. 'You just had to go and blurt it out, didn't you?'

She was no good when it came to words. That's why when she wanted to convey something deep that she was feeling, she'd turn to one of her father's favorite poems. Perhaps she should have stuck with that approach. At first she thought Shepard's refusal was based on the arrival of the asari, Liara, whom many thought had caught Shepard's eye. However, according to the recent scuttlebutt, she had apparently displayed an interest in Shepard sometime before Ash herself had spoken with him. While the exact details were not known, he'd politely turned her down too. Perhaps that knowledge had emboldened her into trying to "put the moves" on Shepard, so to speak.

'Well, I'm not going to stand here feeling sorry for myself. Think I'll head up to the mess and get something to eat. Maybe that'll make me feel better.'

As she headed to the elevator, she caught a glimpse of another figure heading for the same destination. Ashley turned a little to see that it was Tali'Zorah, the quarian engineer whose help had proven Saren's guilt in the attack on Eden Prime. Ash had little to say good or bad about their quarian crewmate. While she'd heard all the rumors regarding quarians, she didn't fully believe them. Considering all the crap humans took from the galactic community, Ash was reluctant to take anything the Council races said at face value.

"Um, hey Tali, going up?" Ashley asked in what she'd hoped was a friendly tone. She remembered another conversation she'd had with Shepard about the Normandy's alien crewmates in which he nearly accused of sounding like one of those Terra Firma xenophobes. Contrary to what some people may believe, she was not a racist, and told him just that. He'd apologized, addressed her concerns, but explained that she'd have to work with them. Of all the alien crewmembers she'd interacted with, she'd spoken with Tali the least, and then she'd still been upset about Eden Prime and made a remark about how quarians created the geth. She decided now was as good a time as any to make up for it.

"Wha-what?" The young quarian woman answered, apparently startled by Ash's sudden question. She had been thinking about a recent conversation with Shepard, one in which she explained to him the importance of finding a significant gift to bring back home for her pilgrimage. He had listened intently, assuring her they'd find something, and reminded her of how much she had contributed to their mission. Shortly afterward her thoughts of what she had said shifted to her growing feelings for the Normandy's commander. She thought about how he treated her as an equal on his crew. How he had saved her life on the Citadel. How he spent time getting to know the woman behind the suit. It was then she'd begun to feel a tad resentful towards Chief Williams and Liara T'soni, as these were two beautiful woman, not hindered by a damn suit, who could be with Shepard while she couldn't. She'd decided to go get a food capsule from the mess, hoping that would take her mind off the matter. On the way she found herself once again wrapped up in her growing feelings when Ashley's voice registered in her mind.

"Sorry, Tali. I didn't mean to scare you. I just noticed you were headed this way, and since I'm going up, I thought I'd hold the elevator for you." Ash saw the younger woman's glowing eyes narrow a bit in confusion. 'Don't be surprised, Ash. It's not as if your last conversation had been a friendly one.'

"Um, yes..I was, thank you." Tali said, still a little confused by this sudden bout of friendliness from the Gunnery Chief. She too remembered their brief dialogue on the Citadel's elevator concerning the Geth, and as a result Tali had felt their was little hope in the two getting along.

Ashley smiled in reply as the two women began the agonizingly slow elevator ride.

'Perhaps Shepard spoke with her. Oh Keelah, I hope he didn't order her to be nice to me.' It'd been awkward enough without Williams being resentful for being forced to make nice with the alien crewmembers. 'Calm down, Tali. You're just being paranoid.' It was then that she realized Williams had spoken again. "What?"

"I said 'where are you headed?' I'm heading to the mess, feeling a bit hungry after that mess on Feros. Even though just remembering that Thorian thing makes me feel kinda queasy."

Tali hadn't been on that mission, but Wrex had. After bugging the krogan battle master enough times he had finally told her what Shepard, Williams, and he had encountered on Feros. Wrex didn't hold back on details, so Tali could imagine Williams' discomfort.

"I was going to retrieve a fresh food capsule. Shepard said he picked up some fresh dextro food on our last visit to the Citadel. He insisted that I try one of the pastes he'd found for me." She said the last with a smile, a smile that could be clearly heard in the young woman's voice.

Ashley smiled as well, that sounded like the kind of thing Shepard would say. She remembered Shepard had made it a point of getting some dextro food ever since Garrus and Tali had joined their crew. From the sound of her voice, while it may not have been something she herself asked for, it was something she clearly appreciated.

"Say..um, Tali..would you like to have lunch together?" The offer was pretty sudden, the idea just came to her and she blurted it out.

Tali looked momentarily surprised before answering. "S-sure, Chief Williams, that sounds good."

"Okay, first of all, call me Ash, all my friends do. Second, you can say no Tali, it's okay. I know I wasn't exactly friendly the last time we spoke so I don't blame you if you don't want to. Though for the record..I'm sorry about that. Eden Prime was still fresh in my head, and what the geth did… I was angry and wanted to blame someone, but I had no right to take that anger out on you. I was just hoping we could start over."

Tali was temporarily stunned speechless, but was deeply touched by what the older woman said. It was then they reached the mess that Tali found her voice: "Yes, I'd like that too."

"Great, come on, I'll show you 'my' table." Ashley answered with a smile, leading Tali to her favorite spot.

"You have your own table?" Tali asked with confusion. While she knew the crew had their own individual possessions, she didn't realize they had their own places to sit in the mess.

"What? No, no," Ashley assured as she realized what the quarian must have thought. " I meant this is the spot I always sit at. Sitting here while I eat has become a part of my daily regiment. I like the familiarity of a routine."

Tali nodded in understanding. When she first came aboard the Normandy, she too had developed a routine for herself to help acclimatize herself to this new ship and crew. "I know exactly what you mean."

Ash smiled as the two reached the food locker. Ash removed a wrapped up sandwich while Tali took a small blue-colored capsule. They made their way back to "Ash's" table and sat down. As she was about to bite into her sandwich she looked over at Tali. "So..what is that you're eating anyway?"

"It's a processed paste cleansed of any harmful bacteria that could be detrimental to my immune system." Tali saw the confused look on Ashley's face and let out a giggle. "Sorry. Let's see..it's reshga, a turian meat! Keelah, this is too expensive! I can't eat this! This is too much.."

Tali went to get up when she felt a gentle grip on her arm.

"Relax Tali, Shepard cares a great deal about this crew. He likes to spoil us, it's just the way he is. We're..we're his family."

Upon hearing that, Tali sat back down. She didn't know all the details, but she knew that Shepard had lost his family on Mindoir to slavers. She had been there when he had talked down the girl, Talitha. She remembered the things he had said to her. He had told the girl that he had been broken too but had picked himself back up. Tali never said so to him, but she wondered just how much this part of his past still affected him.

"He deserves to be happy." Tali had meant it as a thought, but her eyes widened as she realized she had said it out loud.

"Yeah, yes he does." Ashley answered, remembering her own conversations with Shepard. "He's too good a man to be alone. I hope he lets someone in."

"Oh, I'm sorry..I thought.." Tali began to stutter as she realized what she had inadvertently brought up.

"It's alright, Tali, you didn't know. No, John and I aren't together." Somehow talking about it with Tali made her feel a little better about the situation. "He said he was flattered, but didn't feel that way about me. Apparently he said something similar to Liara."

"Really?" Tali asked surprised. She didn't understand. Either Ashley or Liara would make a fine companion for Shepard. Why would he deny himself the kind of happiness a lover could bring.

"Yeah. I don't know why though. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm some great prize or anything. I'm a crewmate and he's my superior officer so things could potentially become ackward. We've also had some personality clashes too, so I can understand why he didn't want us to be more." She said the last with a sigh. "But he also refused T'soni who, if I'm being honest with myself, is probably more Shepard's type of girl: Cute, smart, soft-spoken. Maybe he's married to his work."

While it was a human expression, it was one Tali understood and could relate to. Her father, Rael'Zorah, would certainly qualify as being married to his work. Shepard was different though. Shepard was a very warm, affectionate man. It just didn't make sense.

"I think what happened at Mindoir may have had something to do with it. When I inadvertently brought it up he said he'd 'dealt with it', but I always got the feeling he wasn't being completely honest about that. I didn't press the matter as it was none of my business, but..I think it still bothers him. He allows friendships to develop, but he doesn't let things grow beyond that."

Ashley took a drink as Tali processed what she just said.

"It's not fair, Shepard.."

"Did I do something wrong?" The new voice was masculine, and both women blinked in surprise, realizing that the subject of their conversation had just arrived. Shepard looked down at Tali with concern. "Tali, if I've done something that you feel is unfair or something you're not used to on a quarian ship I wish you'd tell me. I know you don't like to complain, but it's the only way I'll know to explain myself."

Tali was still stunned by the sudden arrival of the man she was growing increasingly fond of when she realized Williams was talking.

"Tali was saying how it wasn't fair that you spent so much money on that turian food paste you got her." The fib came out so convincingly that Shepard clearly didn't suspect otherwise.

"You're part of my crew, Tali. I want you to be as comfortable as possible. Besides, don't worry about the price, I was looking for an excuse to spend some money anyway." He said the last with a wink, smiling reassuringly.

"You are such a woman, Shepard." Ashley teased. "All my sisters combined couldn't spend as many credits as you."

Shepard placed a hand on his chest in mock outrage.

"Chief Williams, that's no way to speak to your commander." The tone was stern, but it was obvious he was joking. Then a smile came across his face in relief. He'd hoped saying no to Ash's offer a more intimate relationship wouldn't destroy their friendship, and was happy to see that that wasn't the case.

"It's your own damn fault for interrupting our girl talk. You're just lucky you came when you did, Tali and I were about to talk about a certain time of the month when.."

"A la la la, don't want to hear it, Williams." Shepard said covering his ears in mock horror.

Tali was about to ask what Ashley meant when she blushed in realization. Shepard's reaction may have been an exaggeration, but quarian men could be just as tentative about that subject as humans.

"And on that note I have to go plot a course for the Armstrong Cluster, I've gotten reports of geth activity in the area."

"Do you need us, Skipper?" Ash asked, suddenly all business.

"No, you're on your break right now, I'm going to have Kaiden and Wrex go with me, but I'll be sure to let you know how the situation turns out. I'm going to get suited up, try not to say too many bad things about me while I'm gone." Shepard called as he turned to head out of the mess.

"We'll try, Skipper. We'll try." Ashley called back, giving in to the temptation of ogling the commander as he walked away. 'God that man's got a great ass.' As the thought went through her mind she turned, and to her surprise, realized that Tali had been doing the same thing. Ashley let out a laugh as she came to a realization. "See something you like, Miss Zorah?"

Tali's head snapped back. "What? No, I wasn't..oh Keelah." She muttered as she held her head in her hands.

Ash just shook her in amazement. 'How could I have never noticed?' It was when she thought about it, she became disgusted with herself. She didn't consider Tali a romantic rival for Shepard's affections because she considered her too alien for Shepard to be interested. She hadn't seen a young woman, she'd seen the three fingers, two toes, the glowing eyes, and the environmental suit. 'Maybe I was being racist after all. No more.'

"It's okay , Tali, all girls do it. We like to rag on the guys, tell them they look at us like we're pieces of meat, but in truth we do the same thing to them. The only difference is we're better at hiding it."

Tali seemed to relax a bit at Ashley's words, but she still didn't say anything.

"How long?" Ashley asked gently.

Tali didn't to need to ask what Williams was talking about. "I don't know. Sometimes I think it started when he saved me. Other times I think it was after how nice he treated me, despite what everyone says about quarians." Tali sighed audibly. "I am truly sorry to hear Shepard turned you down, Ashley. He's too good a man not to be happy with someone."

Ashley was temporarily stunned by Tali's words. 'This girl has to be the most unselfish woman I've ever met!' Her guilt at how she had viewed Tali returned. 'I refuse to be that ignorant bitch anymore.' "I take it you haven't told him how you feel?"

Tali's eyes narrowed as Ash realized too late that she had pissed the younger woman off.

"Why? Why would I tell him that? Look at me Ashley, I'm trapped in a damn suit! If I don't wear this suit, I'd die! I could never be the woman he deserves! I'd…" It's then that Tali starts to cry.

'Oh God, you and your big mouth, Williams.' Ash was grateful there was no one else in the mess at the time as the last thing Tali needed was for the crew to gossip about this. She got up from her seat and came over to Tali, putting a comforting arm around her. "I'm sorry, Tali. I didn't mean to..maybe I should have just quoted poetry."

Tali stopped crying a moment as she turned her head to Ashley in confusion. "What?"

"I'm not good with words, other people say what I feel better than I do. I told the same thing to Shepard." For a moment Ash actually considered saying something poetic, but decided that wasn't the best idea in this case as Tali would have no clue what she was talking about. Hell, Shepard hadn't even known what she'd been talking about when she first dared to recite some poetry to him. "Basically I spoke without thinking, it's a common problem I have."

Tali's crying slowed to the point where she felt comfortable talking again.

"I'm sorry too, Ashley. I didn't mean to go off like that. It's just..frustrating."

Ashley was reminded of the times over the years when she had to comfort her sisters after various events of their lives: jackass boyfriends, kids making fun of them in school, their dad's death. The idea that she was assuming that role to an alien never even entered her head.

"I can't pretend to know how you feel about being in that suit, but I can relate about what it's like to be so close to someone, but not as close as you want to be." Ash said the last with a sigh. She then gave a reassuring smile. "And just because that's the case now, doesn't mean it always will be. I'm not giving up on him, you shouldn't either."

"But I.."

"Enough negative talk. All the advanced tech and wondrous things in this galaxy, I refuse to believe there's no way for you to find a way out of that suit. Personally, I think the only thing you're missing is some assertiveness."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you have to put yourself out there. You have to tell him how you feel. If you don't it'll hang over your head like a dreary rain cloud. Yes, I did that and was shut down. The fact of the matter is though, I now know where he stands. I may not like the decision, but at least I know. Besides Tali, he may surprise you."

Tali seemed to think on that long and hard before finally shaking her head.

"I..I can't, Ash. There's just..too many reasons why we could never work. It would be selfish of me to put my feelings ahead of the problems a relationship with me would cause him." Tali moves to get up before asking Ash a final question. "Why are you encouraging me anyway? You care for him as well."

Ashley looked at the quarian woman before answering: "Because I want him to be happy too."

Tali smiled behind the mask, it would seem the two women had more in common than they originally thought.

"Fair warning though, Miss Zorah," Ashley continued. "Just because I'm giving you the go-ahead doesn't mean I'm giving up. I'll see him succumb to my considerable charm yet."

At first Tali thought the older woman was threatening her, but when she saw the smile on Williams face she knew it was just friendly banter.

"I will consider what you've said, Ash, though I do not think I am wrong in how it would affect Shepard." She got up from her seat, but before she left, she turned again to Ashley. "This was nice, could we do it again some time?"

Ash smiled and nodded in affirmation. "I'd like that."

Okay, this was my first attempt at fan fiction so let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is welcomed, but don't be too harsh, I have little in the way of self-esteem. I plan on writing more if reviews are generally positive. I intend this to be a one-shot, but if enough people want it to continue, I may.